Hello dear readers:) Thanks a lot for all those kind reviews, you all made my day! I'm very happy that you like my story, and I hope you'll keep those reviews coming because they are a great motivation. Thanks again! I hope you enjoy the next chapter. It's the first one written from Padmé's point of view. Our lovely heroes will take turns in telling their story. I hope nobody will get confused by that. :)

Chapter 2: Padmé

I wasn't hungry at all, but I knew that Obi-Wan was right. Unless I wanted to collapse soon, I had to eat. My body had never felt this weak before. I could barely stand upright without help, which annoyed and embarrassed me. I was glad I made it to the table without stumbling.

We didn't talk while Obi-Wan prepared dinner. I hadn't known that he could cook, but there probably weren't many things Obi-Wan couldn't do. Nevertheless, I was glad that he seemed to have sufficient knowledge in that area because I certainly did not. Actually, I had never prepared a proper meal in my life, but I was willing to learn when I felt better again.

Even though Obi-Wan didn't say a word to me, it didn't go unnoticed that he stole a few quick and discreet glances at me, as if he was afraid that I would change my mind and retreat to the bed again before he was finished with whatever he was cooking. But that wasn't my intention. True, I was still lethargic and distracted with the enormous pain of losing everybody and everything that had been close to my heart, but I wasn't irrational anymore. I wouldn't refuse food any longer.

Some minutes later, Obi-Wan swiftly set the table for both of us. I felt bad for not giving him a hand, but I doubted that my legs would hold my weight if I stood up now. Obi-Wan didn't complain, of course. I lowered my gaze to look into the bowl he put in front of me and saw that he had made a soup with chopped vegetables in it. It smelled very appetizingly. I figured he'd chosen it because it would supply me with extra liquid my parched body needed. He tried his best to make me drink water and tea during the day, but I never drank enough. And, a thought came to my mind, soup was also easy to digest and the tiny pieces of vegetable provided much-needed nutrients. My stomach probably couldn't take much solid food without protesting since it wasn't used to it anymore. After all, I hadn't eaten anything in quite a few days.

I took my spoon with a somewhat shaky hand while Obi-Wan finally sat down across from me. The whole situation seemed a little weird to me. I had never before seen him eat. He'd never been anything but a dutiful, reliable and calm Jedi Knight to me; a watchful protector, clever debater, trustworthy escort, and- if need be- fierce fighter. It was strange to see him as just an ordinary man who was engaging in everyday activities like sitting at a table having dinner. I couldn't help wondering what it would be like to see him sleep tonight.

"Don't you want to eat something?" Obi-Wan's voice reminded me gently. I nodded and tried a tiny, polite smile to express my gratitude.

In contrast to the hot days, the nights on Tatooine were horribly cold. Even though Obi-Wan always made sure that I had several blankets to sleep in and that our hovel was appropriately heated once the twin suns set, I was still freezing. I knew that my chills weren't caused by the weather conditions alone, but partly from the cold deep inside myself. The nights were harder for me than the days. Maybe it was because of the utter darkness that I felt even lonelier. I had spent so many nights on my own in the past because Anakin and I rarely had the opportunity to share time with one another, but this was a totally different kind of loneliness now. I knew he would never return to me again. He would never again lie next to me, never hold me, never kiss me, never tell me that he loved me... There was nothing I could look forward to anymore. When I thought of the future, there was only emptiness. I missed Anakin so much. The pain seemed to tear me apart.

When I had offered Obi-Wan share of the bed, I had done so mainly because it appeared to be the fairest and most logical thing to do. I didn't want him to suffer because he had volunteered to hide me from the Sith. I didn't want to be a burden for him, but that was exactly how I felt. Like a burden Obi-Wan was too suave and too selfless to deny carrying. I had been so relieved when he'd finally accepted my offer, but later in the evening I started worrying.

As I thought about it more and more, I suddenly feared that I wouldn't be able to bear sleeping next to a man who wasn't Anakin. I was afraid that it would stir up all the memories of my rare nights with Anakin. I was terrified that I would wake up in the morning, and in my daze, think it was my husband who lay with me, only to realize the brutal truth a moment later. But when the time had come and Obi-Wan lay down on his half of the bed, I had to admit that it was rather soothing than agonizing to have him with me.

Our bodies didn't touch anywhere, yet somehow his solid presence right next to me was warming, and not only in a physical sense. It was solacing to know that somebody was there. I wasn't so alone after all, I realized. Even though, deep inside, I still felt like it.

"Good night, Obi-Wan," I said wearily, manoeuvering around to find a more comfortable sleeping position. Unlike me, Obi-Wan was lying completely still on his back.

"Good night. Sleep well," he said politely. I did. When I woke up the next morning, I realized that since our arrival on Tatooine, I hadn't had a sleep this untroubled. For the first time, I didn't wake up with this depressing feeling of exhaustion, but actually felt quite well rested.

Obi-Wan had left the bed already, but he couldn't have been gone for long. When my hand slid along the mattress, the sheet was still warm where his body had lain next to me. I figured that he was probably washing and dressing himself right now, so I decided to pretend to be asleep for a few more minutes until I was sure that he was done. When I heard him rummaging quietly in the kitchen, I got up to meet him on the other side of the curtain.

"Good morning," I said to him as he put on water for his tea. He was neatly dressed in fresh, light-coloued clothes that covered all of him except for his head and his hands. It wasn't very hot yet because it was early in the morning, but I wondered how he could endure the sweltering midday heat in clothes as high-necked and long-sleeved as his. He turned around to greet me.

"Good morning to you, too, m'lady. Did you sleep well?" he wanted to know. His hair was still wet, I noticed, which reminded me of the fact that I really needed to wash mine, too.

"Yes, very well, thank you," I said with a slight smile that was reflected on his calm face as the corners of his mouth curved up a tiny bit.

"I'm glad to hear it," he said and turned away from me, getting an orange out of the refrigerator. "Are you hungry?"

I bit my lower lip. "No," I told him. He probably wasn't glad to hear that . "But I'm thirsty," I quickly added. "I'll take some of the tea for now, if you don't mind. I will eat later."

"As you wish," he said as he started to peel the orange in his hand. When I breathed in the delicious scent of the juicy fruit, my stomach made a little growling noise.

"Are you sure?" Obi-Wan asked with a slightly amused smile.

"Well..." I replied, feeling a weak blush creep across my cheeks. "Maybe I'll take one slice of that orange, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind at all, m'lady," he said, handed me the whole peeled orange and took another one for himself.

Our new life went on without any special incidents for several days. We quickly adapted to a pattern that had been established without any previous verbal agreements or discussions. It was a routine we both seemed to be content with.

We slept next to each other at night and each morning, Obi-Wan got up early while I was still slumbering. He never woke me up but slipped out of bed unnoticed and let me sleep in as long as I liked. When I got up, breakfast was already waiting for me on the table. I didn't want him to serve me and told him so, but he said that it wasn't any trouble and he didn't see the point in not preparing my breakfast along with his. While I took my time to attend to my personal hygiene and dress for the day after breakfast, Obi-Wan was usually outdoors, doing his excercises before the suns would glare down too intensely. Later on, he spent quite some time on his meditations during which I never disturbed him. Not because he told me not to, but because I wanted to show him how much I respected his privacy and needs. Besides, there was much I, too, had to contemplate and reflect on.

The only break in our day-to-day routine happened when one day an extremely violent sandstorm raging across the desert blew one of the window shutters off. When it was over, Obi-Wan and I repaired the damage together, which I enjoyed more than I had expected. It was nice to do something useful for a change. I realized that this was probably the best way out of my misery. I needed something to do. I didn't fear hard work and toil, but I feared to completely loose myself in emotional distress and self-pity that was only being fueled by the never-ending tedium I was caught in at the moment. I wanted to speak to Obi-Wan about it when the moment was right. He didn't seem to be fond of the idea of me performing anything that involved physical strains yet, and maybe he was right. I was feeling a little better each day, but still hadn't fully regained my strength. That would change soon, however. I was sure of it.

I decided to grant myself some more time to rest, but inside of my head I had already worked out plans of what I wanted to do once I had the energy. I was quite pleased with my ideas and couldn't wait to tell Obi-Wan about them. He seemed more relaxed recently, which was a good thing of course. He'd never said out loud that our situation was difficult for him, too, but I felt how tense he'd been, especially in the beginning. The tension was slowly easing off though, and I was glad about it. But just when I thought that everything was starting to look brighter with me being on the mend and Obi-Wan acting more and more informal in my presence, something totally unexpected happened.

I woke up in the middle of the night because Obi-Wan's elbow poked me in the ribs quite unpleasingly. I was a bit surprised, because he never touched me when we slept- not even accidentally- but I didn't pay great attention to it. I was too tired to be bothered. I rolled over and would have fallen asleep again within seconds, if it hadn't been for a rather uncomfortable hard contact of Obi-Wan's knee with the back of my right thigh. I opened my eyes and slowly sat up, gazing down to him. Although it was impossible to make out any details in the darkness, Obi-Wan's peculiar agitation was obvious. He tossed around uneasily in his troubled sleep, something he'd never done before. I saw one of his hands clutching his blanket in an iron grip. When his head jerked on the pillow and his face turned towards me for a short moment, I could also see the deep furrow of his brow and the sweat on his forehead.

I stared for a few moments, hoping that he would calm down again quickly. But he didn't. And then I heard it. It was such a faint whisper, his lips hardly moving at all. A barely audible mutter, really, but it carried the most emotion I had ever heard in his voice before.

"Please... Anakin, no..."

My hand flew to my mouth as sudden tears sprang to my eyes. And I stared at him still, witnessing despair and sorrow being at war over his features. Of course I had known that I wasn't the only one who suffered great pains, but only now as I was confronted with Obi-Wan's true feelings that he had always hid so well, it dawned on me just how much he was hurting too. He, too, had loved Anakin so very much. Maybe they had been even closer than Anakin and I, knowing one another inside and out for many years and being connected by their bond through the Force. His feeling of loss and emptiness must be beyond all bearing.

Obi-Wan muttered a few more words I didn't get, then fell silent again as he rolled onto his back. I bit my lower lip and willed my tears to go away, but when a tiny, infinitely heartwrenching groan escaped Obi-Wans throat, the first tear dropped down my cheek.

I didn't know what to do. Wake him up? Maybe not. Maybe he would be embarrassed for loosing his composure and go back to sleeping on the floor again. I didn't want to loose his soothing presence, but wasn't it terribly selfish to not save him from his obvious nightmare, just to make sure he would stay with me during the nights? I hated me for even considering it.

Before I could make a decision, Obi-Wan woke up with a start. I couldn't suppress a gasp of sudden surprise when he shot up, breathing hard. His nervous gaze flickered across the room for a second and then focused on me. I could see the intense pain glinting in his moist eyes just before he looked away again. I couldn't say anything, because the lump that had formed in my throat was too big. With a quick motion, I hastily wiped the wet track of the tear from my face.

"I'm sorry," he said with a throaty voice, avoiding my gaze. "I didn't want to wake you up."

"It's alright," I replied faintly, trying to sound solacing. "It's not your fault. You had a bad dream."

"No," he said, rubbing the root of his nose for a moment. "I wish it all had been a bad dream indeed, but..."

"It wasn't," I finished his sentence and, without thinking about it, reached for his hand. He didn't pull back but carefully held on to me.

My heart was aching painfully as Obi-Wan's words sank in. Of course he was right. It was no dream. What was haunting both of us had really happened. I didn't know what to say to him. Well-meant phrases offered only very small and cold comfort, if any comfort at all. I knew that first-hand. No words could ever ease the pain we both had to endure. There was nothing I could say to make him or myself feel better because it wouldn't change anything. So, I did the only thing that seemed reasonable to me under the given circumstances; the only thing that perhaps would give a little comfort to both of us, if only for a fleeting moment. I slid closer to Obi-Wan and embraced him tenderly. He didn't resist, instead he hugged me back, gently but tightly, wrapping me into the warm shelter of his arms. We stayed like that for a long, silent time.

That night, we didn't only share the bed with one another, we also shared our grief. Together we openly mourned Anakin, and everybody and everything else we both had lost until sleep eventually overwhelmed us again.

When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I noticed was slow, even breathing and a warm presence right behind me, as well as a limp hand on my upper arm. Suddenly, I knew that everything between us had changed since last night. But I knew that it had changed for the better.

I closed my eyes again and carefully wriggled back a bit, until Obi-Wan's chest was touching my back and I could feel his calm exhalations on the nape of my neck. His hand slid forward from its position on my arm. Drawing me closer, he subconsciously embraced me from behind. I remained still, to cherish the warm, comforting feeling he provided until he woke up. I hoped he wouldn't feel uncomfortable about the closeness we shared now because I clearly didn't.

t.b.c.