When Hope Rises Again…

Plot Summary (in case you've forgotten): In her final year at Hogwarts, the lonely Lily Evans is faced with a new challenge and a new fear. Slowly she begins to see the world through a new light, regaining her self-confidence, and finding a group of friends she could trust forever. This is told through the eyes of Lily Evans, and is not your average LJ fanfic. I try to keep to the real story as much as possible.

Chapter 7: Conversations

At the end of a strenuous day, I returned to Heads' Quarters to get some rest before training. The weekend had finally arrived again, and two days without any lessons whatsoever seemed like a dream come true. I needed to organise myself, and catch up on all my homework, and then I had to organise the dates for the Quidditch matches. I had called for a meeting between all the respective Quidditch Captains of each house for the day after tomorrow, so they could confirm the dates were unbiased and fair. But before that I would have to consult someone with exceptional skills in Divination to predict weather conditions for the dates, and due to the 'Lily Evans help desk' in the library, I knew just the right Sixth year.

However, before anything could be done, I had entered Quarters, having to face Potter, coming fresh out of the bathroom, with hand towel drying his stray black hair.

"You know, there's actually a spell for a quick dry." I muttered, not impressed in the least.

I groaned at his response, with was, as per usual, a slight smirk as though he was pleasantly amused. I groaned- so much for change in the male sex. They were supposed to slightly mature at 17, but that was a joke in Potter's case.

"Lily-wait!" So it seemed the boy did have a voice, and it could, on occasion, sound slightly desperate. Truth was, I didn't feel like listening. I didn't feel like paying attention to a word he was saying. I wanted to get into my room, close the door, and figure things out. However, being the person I am, I turned slightly, after placing my bag on my desk, a glared at him.

"What is it this time Potter? Have you come up with another ploy to cause more trouble that its worth? And am I your new guinea pig?"

"Guinea pig?" He asked questionably, but then shook his head as if it was not important. "Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry- I mean I didn't mean to- I mean I did at the time- but-"

"Get to the point already." I really wasn't in the mood for any more delay, especially those caused by the oh-so-wonderful Potter.

"Fine." He looked around hesitantly, as if gathering his thoughts. "I just want to say I'm sorry. You were right in some of your deliberations, especially concerning the nature of a few of our pranks. I mean, to an extend, it is true that your knowledge is minimal, and entirely based on your observations, but either way, some of the pranks must stop."

I was shocked- Potter was admitting fault, he was accepting that he was wrong -well partially- it was all just too scary for me to do anything but continue to stare quite rudely at him. Even so, I felt something had been lifted, a heavy weight that had been weighing down on my shoulders since the 'argument'. It was as if the 'argument' had created the drop-dead feeling that I had been facing earlier. It was impossible to even consider why, so I took the only logical explanation possible- it was for the school. Head Girl and Head Boy relations had to be good for the school to function. That was it.

I nodded, not really knowing what to say.

His hazel eyes shot me look of amusement, though his facial features remained calm. "Does that mean I am forgiven?" His tone was level, but his eyes would not lie.

"Perhaps, but you seem too content. It seems too easy for you to get away-"

"I threw out my pride! Anyway, I just had Quidditch. Flying tends to lift the spirits."

"Oh."

My only flying experience was disastrous. Flying lessons for me involved numerous trips to Madam Pomfrey's, and if my spirits did rise, they tended to crash when the sound of laughter hit my ears.

"Anyway Lily-don't you think that we should get a head start in organisation for the feast?" I was suddenly pushed out of the realms of my memories. I blushed slightly.

"The feast?" I was puzzled.

"The Halloween feast Dumbledore asked us to organise." He looked at me suspiciously. "Are you alright?"

"Um- Yes. I just sort of blanked out for a bit. Er, so what have you planned for the feast?" I couldn't really say why I was feeling so awkward. I felt odd, like as if channelling those memories had sparked something in me. But I couldn't think on it right now- I had duties, and those kept me sane.

"Well, not much really- I thought we'd brainstorm for a bit- puts our heads together, and try and catch a few ideas." He had already pulled out a piece of parchment and an ink-containing quill to scribble down a few notes. It seemed he was more that I had expected.

"Well- I don't see the need for change, the ceremony's been practiced the same for years, there's not been much change-except the composition of people." I really believed what I had said- there was no need for change.

"It's true, we can't kill the traditional aspects of it, but we can jive it up a bit!" He was way to excited for my own liking.

"Jive it up? Who's put you on a Cheering charm this time?" He looked uncomfortable- I could have hit myself- there were times where I said the most stupid things without thinking.

"Er, right. I just meant a change of decorations. The old ones we drag out each year are looking a bit drab, and definitely not in with it all right now."

It hit me then- the magnificent way, in which the feast could be celebrated without the fuss. "I don't think they need a change- just reviving."

"What?" He was looking at me, one eyebrow above the other, still carrying that odd smirk on his face.

"Well, the decorations are getting to a stage where they begin to fade, look boring, out-of-date, right?"

He nodded.

"Well suppose we 'cheer them up', brighten the brightest pumpkin, enhance the shadow that falls behind it. In that way we save resources, and keep tradition going."

He seemed to be thinking a bit, as though a thousand thoughts were passing through his head, each playing a game, trying to create some sort of rationality- some clear concept of reason.

"It sounds good Lilykins, but do you know a spell for it?"

"Actually there's a whole book on it in the library- its rather dusty, but it'll-" It hit then, when my mind had had enough time to figure it out, "You-you just called me 'Lilykins'." The words didn't really form- they were forced out.

"Oh right, must have slipped out." He spoke calming, but a slight pink rose to his cheeks, "Anyway about the Hallow-"

"What to do you mean 'slipped out'? I mean, you had to be thinking of it-" I was shaking- there was no rational explanation.

"Eh- I guess it's an affectionate nickname- I tend to form nicknames for a lot of people I'm comfortable with. If you don't like it, I won't use it." He was still blushing, with that tiny smirk on his face.

I didn't really know what to say. It was peculiar to think of any form of affection from him. "I suppose it's fine. Um-it's a bit strange, that's all. Not really ever had a nickname, except-well, I'm not going to mention that one."

He laughed awkwardly. I tried to change the topic, hoping that the discomfort would disappear, and luckily it did, for a short while, whilst drawing half-mad suggestions of feast plans.

"Are you sure the scent will work?" I asked half-an-hour later.

"It's not a scent, Lily- it's an aroma. And this aroma will work. It will entice people to the tables, more faster than normal- with no Slytherins kept uncounted." His hands were dramatically acting out the situation.

"They're still human, Potter."

"James."

"Huh?" Was he implying-?

"I have a first name, and it's James."

"I know?" He was, wasn't he-?

"And I would prefer it if you used it." He was.

"And spoil the fun in calling you 'Potter'?" I was in a good mood, a bit high on air, really.

"Why, Lily, you make it sound like a crime!" He placed a hand upon his open mouth.

"Oh, but it is, it is! The whole experience of calling you 'James' is quite daunting indeed!" I added on, laughing towards the end.

"Daunting, is it? And here I was thinking that it would sound absolutely lovely to hear the simple sounds of 'J-aym-z' ringing from your mouth."

I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze- it did not falter. I was not comfortable- it felt odd. The whole conversation was moving to be too close to flirtation. I needed to move away, change the subject- do anything but leave this awkward silence that had ensued. I looked up at the clock upon the mantle piece, seeing how long we had spent in conversation.

"Pot-James we're going to be really late, we only have ten minutes!" I panicked, rushing to my feet, trying to get things sorted in my head.

"What are you talking about, dinner's not for another-"

"Not dinner! Do you remember anything, ever?" I was getting a bit worried now- I couldn't find my wand and we had to rush.

"What is it Lily?"

"Auror Training, you fool. You'll need your wand." My wand had to be there somewhere. I know I had it with me a while ago. There it was, sticking out of that piece of parchment.

James had come out with his wand, looking a lot more prepared and calm than I was. "Are you sure we go without dinner?" He asked squinting his eyes a bit. "I'm starving!"

I groaned- what a typical boy response. I reached into my bag and gave him a chocolate frog. "There."

"Aw, Lils I didn't know you cared."

"I don't, now we have to get a move on!" I couldn't believe his calm attitude to the situation present.

"Alright, alright. Hold on- you're not coming as well, are you?" I was annoyed now.

"No, I'm just chasing after you because I can't stand be away from you." Sometimes, some people…

"But-but-you're a girl?!"

I should have expected this. I mean, it was to be expected. No female (except Alice Prewett last year) had become an Auror in recent years. It was just really rare. Somehow people found it really hard to accept that women would actually want to fight back for the right cause like some men do. It was absolutely foolish. But somehow I had not expected it from him. I mean I really thought he had quite a liberal mind. It was as if something was wrong with his saying it- I felt unsettled.

"Next thing you're going to say is that I shouldn't be at Hogwarts because I'm muggleborn." I tried to keep calm, a little disconcerted.

"I didn't- I mean I- You know that I wouldn't say such a thing Lily. I would never even think that!" I kept on walking faster to the dungeons where the training session was going to be held. I couldn't say anything. I had excepted him to understand- though now I really didn't know why. I didn't know why I'd bothered thinking about it. I didn't even know why I was thinking about it. I didn't want to- I pushed it out of my mind.

We had finally reached, a couple of minutes early. I was relieved-well at least until I entered the classroom. But then, I was simply overjoyed to notice that I was the only female in the class, surrounded my Black, Potter, another Gryffindor and a couple of Ravenclaws. How exciting!

Eyes glared at me as I sat down. Everyone was seated at separate desks, each devoted to and surrounded by a list of requirements and expectations of the course which we were taking. Normally the course would be taken after school had finished, and students were selected depending on school recommendations and NEWT results. This year it had been held in Hogwarts due to the shock of Voldemort, and predictions said that the atrocities were to continue for a few years, minimum.

The workload was going to be heavy, as the course would add upon the school work required and whatever duties James and I had. It was going to be a very tough and stressful year, by the looks of it.

I could still feel the eyes on my back, glaring at me in awe. I really wanted to dissolve dark emptiness of my chair, such that no-one would have to notice. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks, and a faint blush appearing. However, as it progress, that faint shade of embarrassment was turning to a darker shade of anger. I could feel the anger within me oozing out. Did I not have the right to be here? Was bravery only a man's sport? If anything, women are much braver than men. They have to face pregnancy, pre-menstrual stress and a lot more, and all this while having to accept the patriarchal world they live in. They had NO right to look at me like that. Had not other witches throughout history proven that they were just as good-if not better?

Author's Note: Fifth chapter up now. Sorry it's taken so long. There's been MAJOR exams (which I'm still stressed out about)- I just hope I get into the Uni of my choice. Otherwise, thanks for your patience. I hope this provides some substance.

Oh and how sad is the 'whale situation' in Tasmania? I blame humanity, and our way of over-using the resources

Thanks to:

Whimsical Firefly- She was talking about disillusionment, which she had put into last time. I have given up on voting systems. I mean now Bush is in AGAIN! Next thing we'll know is that Blair will be back (although he is better that a Tory).

NFlora- Another name change. Thanks for the review!

Eternal Sun- Thanks so much. Its good to hear such reviews. Its true a lot of stories out there are just way too unrealistic. I try to make them as real as possible, but I don't know how successful that is!

Bemj11- Thanks!

Lachwen-Thanks as well.

Thanks for reading. Please Review and tell me if you t or not, and where I can improve. Thanks!