AN: I know this took a very long time. Would it help if I said sorry? I've
been very busy with school and stuff, plus with exams coming up.... Very
hectic. The good news is, I have the next chapter almost completely written
up. I just have to type it, finish it, and upload it. I'll try to have it
here in the next week or so.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings and the Ford Company.
Warnings: VERY AU! This is nothing like the story we all know and love. Everyone is defiantly very OOC!
*~*~*~*~* Ford of the Rings*~*~*~*~*
*~* Chapter 2: A Maglificent Party*~*
Well the years have come, and the years have gone, and the Hobbit Bilbo still lives on. Our story starts outside Bag End, where the caraholic Bilbo sits talking to Gandalf. It was the day before Bilbo's eleventy-first birthday, and the hobbit was bored.
"Gaaaandaaalf!" Bilbo whined, "I'm boooooorrreeeeed!" Gandalf chuckled. The answer was obvious to the wise road-wizard.
"Well Bilbo. The answer is obvious to a wise road-wizard like myself. Simply give your Ford to Frodo. Let him run off with me, some Hobbits, an elf, a dwarf, and two other guys. He'll go see Sauron's Insurance. You go to Rivendell, the makers of fine cars since the first age. You can learn how to make cars!"
Bilbo stared.
"O-kay. Riiight." He was a little confused, but it seemed to be a good plan, and Gandalf had never led him astray before. At least, not too much. There was that incident with the dragon, but that was all a big misunderstanding. "So anyway," Bilbo turned the conversation back to things that mattered, "the Gaffer is bringing some of his great home brew. And we've got tons of pipe-weed too!!"
"Dude, I love Hobbits! You guys really know how to party!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
The party was magnificent! Hobbits everywhere were having fun. Bilbo himself was probably having the most fun in the Shire. He was really drunk, and it was time for his speech.
"It is now time for my speech." Bilbo slurred from his place in front of the assembled Hobbits. "Fun party, eh? It's maglificent! I'm drunkly real. I'm runkly deal!"
"Your really drunk!" a random Hobbit yelled, throwing a glass of water at the old hobbit. It seemed to work, as they could now understand his words, if not his meaning.
"Well Hobbitses, I'm leaving. I'm going away to Rivendell. I don't know half of you three-quarters of one eighth as much as I know the other half who are one sixth percent of three tenths and I like four twentieths of you one seventh as much as my Ford!" With that, Bilbo leapt into his Jeep and sped off towards Bag End.
*~*~*~*~*~*
After the party, Frodo Baggins headed home towards Bag End. He was sure that his crazy old cousin Bilbo was up to something. When he got there, he found no one except Gandalf.
"Hey Frodo!" Gandalf shouted when the Hobbit came into view, "We're going on a road trip!"
To be continued...
AN: Yes, short, I know. It seemed longer in my little notebook. More soon, promise! Review please, criticism welcome!
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings and the Ford Company.
Warnings: VERY AU! This is nothing like the story we all know and love. Everyone is defiantly very OOC!
*~*~*~*~* Ford of the Rings*~*~*~*~*
*~* Chapter 2: A Maglificent Party*~*
Well the years have come, and the years have gone, and the Hobbit Bilbo still lives on. Our story starts outside Bag End, where the caraholic Bilbo sits talking to Gandalf. It was the day before Bilbo's eleventy-first birthday, and the hobbit was bored.
"Gaaaandaaalf!" Bilbo whined, "I'm boooooorrreeeeed!" Gandalf chuckled. The answer was obvious to the wise road-wizard.
"Well Bilbo. The answer is obvious to a wise road-wizard like myself. Simply give your Ford to Frodo. Let him run off with me, some Hobbits, an elf, a dwarf, and two other guys. He'll go see Sauron's Insurance. You go to Rivendell, the makers of fine cars since the first age. You can learn how to make cars!"
Bilbo stared.
"O-kay. Riiight." He was a little confused, but it seemed to be a good plan, and Gandalf had never led him astray before. At least, not too much. There was that incident with the dragon, but that was all a big misunderstanding. "So anyway," Bilbo turned the conversation back to things that mattered, "the Gaffer is bringing some of his great home brew. And we've got tons of pipe-weed too!!"
"Dude, I love Hobbits! You guys really know how to party!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
The party was magnificent! Hobbits everywhere were having fun. Bilbo himself was probably having the most fun in the Shire. He was really drunk, and it was time for his speech.
"It is now time for my speech." Bilbo slurred from his place in front of the assembled Hobbits. "Fun party, eh? It's maglificent! I'm drunkly real. I'm runkly deal!"
"Your really drunk!" a random Hobbit yelled, throwing a glass of water at the old hobbit. It seemed to work, as they could now understand his words, if not his meaning.
"Well Hobbitses, I'm leaving. I'm going away to Rivendell. I don't know half of you three-quarters of one eighth as much as I know the other half who are one sixth percent of three tenths and I like four twentieths of you one seventh as much as my Ford!" With that, Bilbo leapt into his Jeep and sped off towards Bag End.
*~*~*~*~*~*
After the party, Frodo Baggins headed home towards Bag End. He was sure that his crazy old cousin Bilbo was up to something. When he got there, he found no one except Gandalf.
"Hey Frodo!" Gandalf shouted when the Hobbit came into view, "We're going on a road trip!"
To be continued...
AN: Yes, short, I know. It seemed longer in my little notebook. More soon, promise! Review please, criticism welcome!