Chapter 2: Confusion

"Quatre!"

Quatre jumped and his thoughts were suddenly brought back to the present. Wufei glared at him from across the table. Clearly he'd been trying to get the blonde boy's attention for several minutes. "I—I'm sorry. What did you say?"

Wufei gave him a look that said his patience was wearing thin. "I asked what was wrong. You've been acting weird since yesterday. Did something happen?"

Quatre opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He couldn't tell anyone what he'd seen, not even Wufei. He sighed and looked away. "No. It's nothing."

Unbidden, the image of Heero and Duo on the bed, doing whatever they'd been doing, sprang to his mind. He blushed. Wufei, seeing the blush, spat out "Bullshit."

Quatre blinked in surprise, then lifted wide eyes and met Wufei's glare solidly. "Really, it's nothing." He said with a weak smile.

Wufei was taken aback. Quatre almost never looked him in the eye, especially not when he was glaring. Well, if the little blonde felt so strongly about it, he wouldn't pry. Not until he had to. "Alright." He said, shifting his attention back to the plate in front of him.

He curled his lip in disgust. Why, oh why did cafeteria food always have to be so . . . so . . . unappetizing? It wasn't that the food itself was disgusting; it just looked that way. Quatre had already choked down his food and was once again staring at his empty plate with that glazed, faraway look in his eyes.

He simply couldn't tear his thoughts away from the scene he'd witnessed the night before. It wasn't so much what he'd seen that bothered him, but his own reaction to it. Immediately after slamming the door on that sight, he'd ran back to the dorm that he and Wufei shared and hid in the bathroom, trying to calm his racing heart and stop his babbling mind. But that hadn't been all he'd had to calm. When he'd seen Heero and Duo like that, his body had reacted. Quite strongly too. He bit his lip. Why on Earth would he react to that?

"Ohayo!" A familiar voice caroled.

Quatre looked up to find Duo and Heero striding towards their table, Duo waving merrily at them with one hand and carrying a tray piled with food in the other. Is it just me, or is Duo walking kinda funny? He thought. Realization struck him and he turned bright red. Of course he is! His mind shrieked. As Duo sat down on Quatre's right, he gave him the faintest of winks. Quatre had to resist the urge to hide his cherry red face in his hands. Wufei raised an eyebrow at them and was about to say something when Heero sat down next to him and groaned softly. "God, I'm tired." He grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Well, you were up pretty late last night." Duo said as he dug into the large breakfast before him.

Quatre bit back a hysterical giggle. He could only imagine what had kept Heero up late! But more importantly, why did he want to imagine it? Now he did press a hand to his burning cheek. Duo snickered at him and Heero smiled faintly. Now both of Wufei's eyebrow's had shot up, making his slanted eyes narrower than they already were. "Alright," He said, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Clearly I've missed something. What the Hell happened that's got you acting so weird?"

Duo and, surprisingly, Heero both turned wide eyes on Quatre, hardly daring to believe that he hadn't told Wufei about what he'd seen. He opened and closed his mouth several times, desperately trying to think of something, anything to say. "I—" He started, but Heero cut him off.

"It's nothing." He said, his voice flat, stating that there would be no argument.

Wufei eyed them all suspiciously. "Fine. Have your secret." He snapped, annoyed.

Wufei hated secrets. Although he knew that made him a hypocrite, because he had a pretty big one. "I'm sorry, Wufei." Quatre said, feeling ashamed.

"Sorry about what?" A soft voice inquired from behind him.

Quatre nearly jumped out of his skin, he was wound so tight. "Wha—!" He squeaked as he whirled around.

Trowa was standing behind him. "Hello all." He raised his hand, smiling slightly.

Quatre's heart skipped a beat at the sight of the slender young man. He quickly shifted over so Trowa could sit down on his left. What he felt when he saw Trowa was almost as confusing as what he felt when he thought about what he'd witnessed between Heero and Duo. His face warmed and his heart thudded against his ribcage as the taller boy settled himself. "Not eating?" Heero commented on Trowa's lack of a tray.

"Neither are you." He pointed out calmly.

Heero didn't say anything, but Duo leaned over and whispered into Quatre's ear. "I think he got enough to eat last night."

Quatre choked then started laughing. Trowa and Wufei stared as Quatre and Duo giggled helplessly. Heero simply looked away, a smile quirking at the corner of his mouth. It was almost as if he knew the joke had been about him.

"Did I miss something?" Trowa asked, bewildered.

"Join the club." Wufei muttered.

"What?"

"Ah, never you mind. It's nothing." Duo plastered a big grin on his face.

Trowa blinked a couple of times then shrugged. "If they don't want to say, that's their business."

The tone of Trowa's voice made Quatre cringe. It wasn't quite angry, but there was a definite feeling of hurt. "I—I'm sorry." He said, looking down, "It's . . . It's just something I can't say. Not without permission anyway."

He glanced at Heero and Duo; both shook their heads ever so slightly. Not yet. They still needed time to sort things out. And Quatre fully intended to do just that; he couldn't stand the look that Trowa was giving him. He blushed and began staring at his empty plate again.

After what seemed like an eternity, the bell rang, warning them that they had five minutes before class started. They got up and followed the stream of people heading to drop their trays off. Quatre noticed that Duo used the crush of people as an excuse to press himself against Heero. In response the other boy ran his hand unobtrusively up Duo's leg and over his butt. Duo bit his lip and moved away with the crowd. Quatre was impressed. If he hadn't been looking for it, he'd never have noticed the exchange.

"Hey, Blondie!" A jeering voice called, "See something you like?"

Quatre looked around curiously. He was the only one that ever got called 'Blondie', though he wasn't the only blonde in the school, but he had no idea what the other person was talking about. Finally he spotted the owner of the voice and found one of his more disagreeable classmates smirking at him. As soon as he was sure he had Quatre's attention, he began thrusting his hips obnoxiously. "Woo!" He called. "Blondie's got a boner!"

Quatre blinked in surprise, then slowly looked down. He was horrified. It seemed that he did indeed have a 'boner', it almost looked as if there was a small tent pitched in his pants. He felt the blood rush to his face as he shoved through the crowd, pushed his tray into the dishwasher's waiting hands and ran from the cafeteria, the boy's laughter following him out.

He fought tears as he searched for a place to hide. Finally a bathroom came into view. He darted in and shut himself in the stall farthest from the door. He buried his face in his hands, and the tears that fell were from confusion as much as embarrassment. Why? Why did I react again? He sat on the ground, not caring how dirty it was, and curled his knees up to his chest. What? Am I gay or something? All it takes is Heero and Duo rubbing against each other, or even the thought of a hug from Trowa, and I get hard! What is wrong with me! He hid his face in the space between his chest and his knees.

The door to the bathroom opened and closed with a soft click. Quatre forced himself to be quiet, although silent sobs still racked his slender frame. Footsteps padded towards his stall and he curled into an even tighter ball. "Quatre?" A soft voice called, "Quatre, are you in here? It's Trowa."

"No, no, no, no, no, no . . ." Quatre whispered fervently, rocking back and forth.

Trowa would just make him react again! Especially if he kept using that tone of voice. The footsteps had reached his stall, and the door jiggled slightly as Trowa tried it. He wasn't surprised to find it locked. "Please, open the door."

Again that soft voice! Quatre shook his head violently. "No." He breathed; he didn't trust himself, not yet.

"Quatre. Please?"

A sob shook Quatre; even that simple sentence had brought on an impure thought. "Quatre," Trowa started again, "Please, if you don't open it, I'll break it down."

Quatre knew it wasn't an empty threat. Trowa hid a lot of strength in his slender build. Reluctantly he reached up and unhooked the latch. The door opened slowly, and he found himself being inspected by one kind green eye; a cascade of light brown hair hid the other eye. Oh! How he wanted to brush that hair back! "Quatre," He said softly, crouching down, "It's alright. It's normal for that to happen in the morning, I thought you knew that. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"No, no nooo!" Quatre moaned, once again shaking his head. "You don't understand! This isn't natural! Not what's causing it!"

Trowa sat back on his heels. "I don't understand."

"It's—It's being caused by things that shouldn't cause it!" Quatre choked, hiding behind his hands.

Trowa slid an arm around Quatre's shoulders. "What kinds of things?"

The feel of Trowa's arm around him, mixed with the concern in his voice was more than enough. Quatre felt his groin tighten and he whimpered at the sudden desire that flooded him. He quickly pulled out of the other boy's grip and slid as far back into the stall as he could get without actually getting on the toilet. "Things like that!" He squeaked. "It's unnatural!"

"Things . . . Like . . . " Trowa trailed off and stared blankly at the cowering boy for a few seconds.

Then understanding dawned on his face and his eyes softened. "Oh, Quatre . . . " He said softly.

"No!" Quatre sobbed. "Please, please don't say my name like that!"

The tightness in his groin was now a throbbing ache. Trowa was so close . . . so close . . . It was just a matter of reaching out and touching him . . . Maybe he would like it . . . maybe . . . maybe he would . . . No! No, no, no, no, NO! He would not loose a friend over this! He would not!

"Quatre . . ."

"No! Don't say my name!"

"But, Quatre . . . "

At the tone in Trowa's voice, Quatre looked up. "What?" He whispered.

Trowa was a lot closer than Quatre remembered him being, and his hand was moving slowly towards the small blonde's face. He cupped the soft cheek in his hand and wiped a tear away with his thumb. He pressed their foreheads together and rubbed his nose against Quatre's affectionately. He could feel Quatre's panting breath against his lips and he felt his own breath begin to quicken. "It's not unnatural." He murmured and closed the small gap between them.

Quatre stiffened as Trowa's lips brushed lightly against his own. The touch was so faint as to be almost teasing, making Quatre whimper. He was dreaming. He had to be. This was just another of those bizarre dreams he kept having that always seemed to end with he and Trowa in a bed together. Then Trowa pressed his lips fully against Quatre's, and suddenly Quatre couldn't think.

Trowa reached up with his free hand, running it through Quatre's fine blonde hair as he deepened the kiss, drawing a soft sound from the younger boy. His hand came to rest on the back of Quatre's neck. Quatre was lost in the dream that was Trowa's lips.

But then something happened that had never happened in any of his dreams. Trowa pulled away. Quatre let out a soft sound of dismay as his eyes fluttered open. "I'm sorry." Trowa said as he stood up. "I shouldn't have done that."

He offered his hand to help the other boy up, but Quatre simply stared at it. That was the same hand that had been running through his hair. "Why?"

Trowa looked away and blushed, but his hand stayed where it was. "Because, what you're feeling right now isn't real. You're just happy to have found someone else like you. That's what the attraction is . . . nothing else."

No. Quatre thought. I've been attracted to you for a long time. "That's not it! I—" He started.

"No." Trowa's voice was firm. "That's exactly it. I know it."

There was such a sharp bitterness in Trowa's voice that it brought a thought to Quatre. He turned wide blue-green eyes on Trowa. "This—this has happened to you before, hasn't it?"

Trowa's hand started to withdraw, but Quatre grabbed it and stood, bringing them suddenly very close. Trowa refused to look into those beautiful eyes. "Yes."

"With who?"

Trowa paused for so long that Quatre was afraid he wasn't going to answer. Finally he spoke. "Wufei."

Quatre blinked. "Wufei?"

"Yeah. Do you remember about a year ago, when Wufei and I stopped talking for nearly a month?"

"Yes, and neither of you would say why you were angry." Quatre's voice was thoughtful.

"That's why." Trowa closed his eyes. "To be blunt, he dumped me."

"What!" Quatre squeaked, not believing that anyone would willingly let the beautiful young man go. "Why on Earth would he do that!"

Trowa stepped away slightly. Quatre had moved closer with every sentence, and it was getting to be a bit much. Having that taught body, so full of concern, pressed against his own was making him react. "Well, first off, he'd found someone else. He wouldn't say who it was though. All he said was that it was a simple matter of getting them to come to their senses. About us, he said that as friends, we were wonderful, but as lovers, neither of us would be happy. We would always argue . . . making up again was great, but the arguments had been getting worse. He also said that our attraction was purely physical. And he was right. About everything. I know he was, but it still hurt. I don't want to do that again. Especially not with you."

Trowa started to pull away again. "No!" Quatre yelped.

He lunged forward and wrapped his arms around the taller boy. "It's not like that at all!" He cried, burying his face against Trowa's shoulder.

The feel of Quatre's arms wrapped around him, the soft, warm play of breath against his neck, sent a thrill up Trowa's spine. He pulled away and quickly crossed the room, pausing at the door. "I'll tell the teacher that you're not feeling well today. You'd best get back to your room."

He started to leave, but paused again. Without turning around, he said "And could you please not tell Wufei about this?"

And with that, he was gone; leaving Quatre to stand there, more confused than ever.