K/S. In order to complete his revenge for Inuyasha, Sesshômaru kidnaps Kagome and does something unforgivable to her. When she is at last returned to her companions, however, Kagome is surprised to find that, rather than feeling hatred towards Sesshômaru, she now can't stop thinking about him...
Disclaimer: I tried to buy Inuyasha with three pounds of chocolate, a broken teapot, and a cageful of mutant hamsters, but...no takers.
Notes: I know what you're all thinking: OMG! The author actually updated! ...KILL HER! Eep...my excuses are as follows: 1) EVIL math classes, 2) Got a web design job, 3) Currently writing a novel, 4) DK ff centered around the ultimate bishi known as Viaresu/Bierres (xD), and 5) Braindead. Ok, you can kill me now. Still, I really DO like writing this fic, I'm just...unable to... And this chapter is a little dark...just musings, really...oO; Time jump!
Rating: PG-13...for suggested sexual content, but nothing explicit.
BittersweetBy shinsetsu no kokoro (change of penname)
Chapter Four
Amidst the overgrown paths of what had once been an orderly garden, a few small trees still clung stubbornly to the rocky soil. Tiny, golden-orange fruits swayed invitingly in the cool spring breeze.
She reached out for one, feeling its smooth firmness beneath her fingertips. A gentle touch broke the skin, and the faint odor that exuded forth was fresh and sweet. She brought the fruit to her mouth and took a bite.
She held the piece in on her tongue for a time, then slowly dropped the bright, flame-hued ball. Looks could be deceiving.
The flavor lingered on in her mouth. The fruit was not yet ripe, the taste bittersweet.
The bright sunlight filtering insistently through her closed eyelids forced her to open her eyes at last, despite how hard she fought to return to sleep. She sat up slowly, looking out the half-open straw-mat door. It was a perfect sunny day outside, bright and welcoming. A few weeks ago she might have jumped at the chance to walk around and simply enjoy life on a day such as this, but not now. Not when the innocent serenity peeping through the cracks in the small hut so opposed the hot mass of dark turmoil she felt inside.
Still, she forced herself to rise, stiffly and reluctantly, from the sleeping mat. She made her way to the door and brushed aside sharp strands of straw, pausing to give the bright day one last long look before stepping outside.
"Kagome?"
She froze, then forced herself to turn and look at him. The golden eyes, the silvery-white hair...Kagome broke the gaze and looked away. She stared determinedly at the floor as she spoke.
"I'm going out."
He leapt up then, eager, as always. "I'll go with you. You might need someone to—"
"No!" The word came out sharper than she had wanted, and she could tell without looking at him that his face was hurt. But she couldn't stop herself, now that she had let loose a little of her frustration. "Stop asking me that! I just want to be alone!" Kagome felt a strange, perverse sense of satisfaction as the angry words poured out.
"Kagome..." She could hear the hurt in his voice. Good, Kagome thought savagely, wildly. Teach him to leave me alone.
But he still persisted, stammering on. "You don't know—he might be out there—Sessho—"
Whatever warning Inuyasha might have had to offer was drowning out by the panicked roaring in her ears as she bolted out the door, tears streaming down her face. She didn't know where she ran, but blundered on blindly, tripping over roots and rocks invisible to her tear-blurred eyes until at last her breath gave out and she collapsed, panting, on a smooth boulder.
Kagome pressed her hot cheeks to the cool stone, fists clenched. I shouldn't have done that, she chided herself, feeling a hot, unpleasant sensation building up in her stomach. I shouldn't have done that to him, he was only trying to help...
If he wanted to help, then why didn't he help you then! Another voice, the one that had taken such vindictive pleasure in wounding Inuyasha, spoke up. If he really cared as much as he says he did, then where was he when you needed him the most?
Yes, why? More tears poured down her face, a hot mingling of frustration, rage, and despair. Why, Inuyasha? She knew it was unfair of her to accuse him. He had tried, tried to help her...but trying wasn't good enough this time. Slowly, the tears trickled to a stop, leaving Kagome feeling heavy and exhausted. She stretched across the smooth rock surface, wondering vaguely if she should just go back to sleep.
She slept often now. She went to bed early and woke late, late enough to avoid conversation with her other companions. She knew they wondered about her strange behavior, but bore it. She was the "special one", the one the others had to take care of. Fragile and useless. She knew she held them up. The search for the shards and Naraku had been delayed for weeks...months...now.
And Kagome found that she didn't care.
She rolled over onto her back, closing her eyes. What did she care about, now? Nothing...nothing, perhaps, but sleep. Her sleep, her dreams, were an escape from the blinding stab of reality. The memories haunted her every waking moment, but, strangely enough, the dreams were a comfort. She had experienced no nightmares since the incident, but instead weird, disjointed fantasies set in places she knew she had never visited. But the one thing all the dreams shared was the sense of tranquil serenity. She was a peace only in them.
Kagome willed herself to fall asleep again, slip into the soothing lull of her dreams. But now that she had began thinking, she couldn't stop. Her mind was too alive, too active for that. The question that always followed her spoke up again. The question about the dreams.
She fought it, tried to keep it from surfacing. Thinking about it might shatter the thin shell of her only comfort. Yet it was persistant.
Are those dream places really illusions? She clenched her fists until the knuckles whitened. Or are they just memories you can't recall?
Like that day.
She needed answers. The guessing was gnawing away at her mind, her heart. Some days she woke up and wondered if it was even worth the effort to continue trying, when she felt so dull and useless.
She needed answers.
And she knew one person who could provide them...
God, my head hurts... Kagome placed a hand to her temple. My heart aches. Slowly, mercifully, she sank once more into oblivion.
End Chapter Four