Jedi do not dream. But they do hope…

They do hope…

With a jolt Skar tumbled into awareness inside the cockpit of the Koniduz. Shaking off the drowsy feeling pounding in his head he dried the crust from his eyes, noticing Kayupa meditating at the helm in the seat before him. The cockpit was silent except for clicking noises on switches and Kayupa's deep breathing.

It caught Skar by surprise at first since he'd never seen Kayupa sleep or meditate before. He looked a lot like Master Bo-Hi when he meditated, except that Skar noticed small twitches in the Jedi's jaw and his eyelids were moving, almost fluttering. He didn't remember Master Bo-Hi making those twitches.

He can't be…dreaming?

Skar studied the small movements and catalogued them as anxiety. Unrest. Kayupa was dealing with something on the inside. Skar was about to wake Kayupa up when he caught a glimpse outside of the cockpit that stole his concentration. Outside the star-lines were a constant image; no beginning and no end. They seemed to go on forever. Skar knew the ship was moving at a speed he couldn't even guess at, but internal dampers kept the artificial gravity alive, and kept him from bouncing around the ship as it rocketed through space. Skar likened it to as if the ship was a planet in itself.

Thinking better of it, Skar decided not to wake up Kayupa and chose to sit back and enjoyed the sight, letting Kayupa rest a little more.

While being mesmerized by the new experience, Skar felt a familiar shape in his clammy hand, something he hadn't noticed there before.. A shape that had become incrusted in his palm for the last couple of days. He had forgotten he'd even had it in his hand. Skar twiddled the small Holocron between his fingers. He remembered seeing his mother for the first time in the Holocron, in an old, flickering hologram transmission. Even though he had never known her, he felt the responsibility he imagined someone would have to a mother.

A dedication and loyalty like nothing else. A wish to repay for being brought into life. She had seemed so hopeful about him becoming a Jedi, and to him it seemed she hadn't really given him a choice, somehow she just knew he would want go. And she was right, the Jedi path was one he desired. Maybe it was in his genes, the Kjoil blood, that he would feel the rightness in that destiny.

Skar looked up as Kayupa stirred and came out of his meditation. He looked over his shoulder at Skar, appearing surprised to find him there. Kayupa's eyes were cloudy and he stretched his limbs, the bones in his arms cracking as he did.

"Got a nice sleep?"

Kayupa made a slight smile and shrugged. "Meditation isn't sleep. It replenishes your strength, but it doesn't come close to being as good as sleep."

"What else does it do?"

Kayupa ran a hand through his long hair and sat on the edge of his seat. "Centers you, when you've got something on your mind," Kayupa said casually, as if he was reading the lines off a script. "Or at least, sometimes it does," he added.

"It just…it looked like you were dreaming."

"Jedi don't dream, Skar."

"I know," Skar said, nodding, "that's why it confused me."

Kayupa yawned. "Meditation is not sleep, its a trance, a state of mind that allows you to collect your thoughts. Center on the things that matter and banish those that don't. Depending on your situation, that process does not always come easily."

He left it at that and Skar found it obvious that Kayupa was anxious about something and wished he would open up to him. Kayupa was good at opening up and sharing his thoughts, but in this respect it appeared to not include Skar. Skar found it difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed and hurt, but hoped he would come around to eventually tell him.

Maybe he blamed himself for Lwen's death, having been unable to protect him from the woman. Something was deeply bothering him, Skar could see it in his eyes. The deeper sadness that'd been there when they'd met was still there.

Kayupa sighed aloud and swirled his seat to look at Skar. "You doing any better?"

Skar searched through his feelings and realized that he was slightly homesick and still suffering his angst from Lwen's death. Master Bo-Hi had said that a person wasn't capable of focusing on one emotion, nevertheless Skar found himself lost inside simple grief. It was very painful. Sometimes he could still feel Lwen inside, talking to him, giving lectures on what to do or how to act. But when Skar listened to the voice, it vanished, like a dream.

Skar nervously rubbed his hands together to rid them of the clammy feeling. A sting ran through his left palm that made him yelp. Skar examined the skin and noticed a cut on his hand, right below his thumb, he had forgotten it was there. The wound was healing, the skin was patched up and only a purple line remained of the injury. When Skar thought back he was able to remember its origin.

When I carried Lwen to the grave, I cut my hand on the pod. Maybe it will make a scar so I'll remember that day, Skar thought to himself. Anyway, I doubt I'll forget.

"Skar?"

Skar ran his finger across the purple line. The sting returned, but Skar didn't shy away from the pain. He found it to be a great distraction from the pain inside him. "Yeah, I hope it will leave a scar."

Kayupa's hoarse laugh made Skar glance up at him.

"What?"

"Skar. Your name!"

"Oh, sorry," Skar forced himself to smile, "what's the matter?"

Kayupa sat back in his seat and folded his fingers on his lap like Master Bo-Hi did from time to time, mostly when he was centered and in focus. "You never told me where you got the Holocron from?"

Skar stumbled on the first word. "Lw-Lwen. He kept it for me. My parents gave it to him so he could pass it to me, so I could become a Knight. Lwen said it held all the answers," Skar sighed and held up the small cube, "here they are. All inside."

Kayupa picked it from his hand and studied it close, his fingers moving over it like a curious child's. But unlike a child, Kayupa's search had a purpose and Skar realized the Jedi was trying to activate it. Kayupa frowned when he failed to do so. "Have you seen all it has inside?"

"Not much, it only teaches lightsaber techniques. There is no other information - "

At that Kayupa scoffed and handed it back, deeming it useless. Skar was puzzled as to why Kayupa reacted so intensely, but blamed it on his anxiety. Rather than attacking the subject Skar evaded it with another question. "So, is Master Bo-Hi as good as he seems?"

Kayupa's brows lifted. "He's the best." He didn't have to say "the best of what's left."

"Did he teach you everything?"

Kayupa leaned as far back into his seat as he could and folded his legs in front of him, scratching his beard. "Try not to think of it as everything, its not everything. Its just tools. He taught me about the Force and he made me a Jedi. I follow the Jedi code, but that doesn't mean I agree with him on everything."

"What don't you agree on?"

Kayupa just stared at nothing for a while. "Too many things, mostly philosophical aspects of life. He lives his life one way, I live my life another. Its the same for everyone, I guess. Even parents and their children." Skar noticed Kayupa's hand caressing the lightsaber at his hip. "The Jedi's role in the universe is the biggest thing we disagree on. He believes a Jedi lives only for the Force and that the Jedi never acts from his own wishes."

Skar nodded. "That's what being a Jedi is all about, isn't it?"

Kayupa's face turned sour. "It leaves you mute, numb, you become a figurehead in life and never achieve anything for yourself. A pawn."

"A Jedi is a servant, not a tool. Master Bo-Hi told me that."

Kayupa nodded. "He'll tell you a lot of things. What you must learn is to see them as advice. Not orders. Learning of many things does not teach intelligence and half of being smart is knowing where you're stupid. You must have your own opinion. Listen to him, then find out if it applies to your beliefs."

"What is it that you want for yourself, Kayupa?"

That sadness came back into Kayupa's eyes, but he swirled his seat back to face the controls, hiding it from Skar. "I want…freedom, the ability to choose my own destiny, to shape my own story. That I can have wishes of my own and that my life is not dictated by the rules of the Jedi. Its true that a Jedi is to serve the Force as I've said before, but the man inside can't be forgotten. Each person can create his own fate, even if it goes against the Jedi philosophy. That's what I believe. We only have the cards that life has dealt us, and we have to live a long time to fully understand the rules of that game."

Skar didn't say anything for a while. "But if Master Bo-Hi doesn't think its right, how can you think it? I mean, he's your Master, your teacher."

Kayupa stared at the stars, lost in his own thoughts and emotions. "No two people are exactly alike, Skar, so if you want to be original, be yourself. Maybe my time for learning is over. Maybe its time I found out what to do with what I've learned." Kayupa shivered as if a sudden cold had touched him and swirled his seat back to face Skar. His eyes had never looked more lonely. "Listen to your heart, Skar. Like I've always said; if it feels right, how can it be wrong?"

Skar nodded. "You said you didn't regret being a Jedi?"

"And I don't. It gives me enormous options about where my life will go, and also the strength to fulfill my personal goals. Ultimately, I guess you could say that the Force symbolizes the power to change everything you think is wrong about the world. We would be fools to not use it." Kayupa smiled. "All this talking, its funny. I'm still not used to us being more than two. I'm still trying to get used to having another one join us. At first it was just me and Master Bo-Hi," he looked down at his hands, "then you came and then Shinran - "

"Shinran?" Skar had almost managed to forget about her. "So that's her name."

Kayupa nodded. "What do you think about her?"

Skar shrugged. "I don't really know what to think."

Kayupa blinked. "Well, you weren't exactly off to a perfect start, were you?"

Skar smiled uneasily, delving into a book that had stayed open for too long. "I think what happened…happened. It didn't have anything to do with her. Lwen just…didn't really belong in my life anymore."

Kayupa frowned. "That doesn't hurt to say?"

Skar nodded. "Of course it does. But I've learned to let it go. I just want to move on, and look ahead now."

Kayupa seemed to understand. "Wise choice. Don't dwell in the past. Look to the future." He looked down at his own hands. "I guess that's where the answers lie. I hope we all get along, but getting adapted is not easy for any of us."

Skar crossed his arms over his chest, feeling the strain in his tired muscles. "No, I imagine we all have some mixed feelings about this whole thing."

Kayupa nodded and rose from his seat. He adjusted his belt and stretched himself till his fingers met the ceiling of the cockpit. Then he moved his hands down in front of him and blew out a heavy breath. "I like you, Skar. You're alright. And you'll make a great Jedi."

Skar tilted his head and made a cocky smile. "Better than you?"

"Let's not get carried away," Kayupa said lightly, and for the first time Kayupa smiled genuinely and the mood loosened between them. Skar felt happy for him, seeing Kayupa back to normal was great for him too. Kayupa had become a friend and whatever bothered him bothered Skar. He chose to let Kayupa come to him when he was ready to talk about what was annoying him. Though Skar wasn't used to having friends he knew that respecting each other's boundaries was very important. Him, Master Bo-Hi, Kayupa and even Shinran had to -

Skar found himself facing a question he had completely ignored so far. "Shinran, what is her story? Why is she with us?"

Kayupa stretched his arms to the ceiling and supported himself against a pipe running across it, becoming one giant question-mark. "I…she, well she's coming along, because she wants out of Nar Shaddaa."

Skar frowned. "And we're just helping her?"

A different kind of smile appeared on Kayupa's lips. "I'm hoping she'll stay with us. I like having her around."

At first Skar would have called Kayupa on that comment, but realized it would not set him in a good light. Skar tried not to think about why Kayupa was so keen to have Shinran with them. But even if his hunch was right, why should he tease Kayupa about it? Time to grow up, Skar.

Kayupa was scratching his beard in another quiet thinking process. "Well, I'm going back to the quarters to train, come with me. I know Master Bo-Hi wants to talk to you to see how you're doing." Kayupa padded his shoulder.

Skar followed his friend down into the living quarters, the part of the ship that had once been a cargo-hold. With the recent addition of personnel, most of the crates had been stacked in a straight line through the middle of the hold, a small depression in the center acting as a doorway, giving the hold the impression of actually being two chambers.

Kayupa stayed in the first half and was soon busy fencing against a hologram projected from the simulator in the floor. Skar hung around to watch his friend practice, having been so impressed the first time he'd seen Kayupa fight. The man's moves were clear and unclouded, his defenses perfect and his attacks precise. Dancing inside the blue gloom that held sway over the entire hold, the man was a moving source of light, a hurricane of power. The blue blade hummed like a generator and Kayupa fueled all its energy into his moves.

Skar whistled enthusiastically at his friend's awesome display of skills, and then almost like an echo a second whistle filled the dense air in the quarters. Skar turned his head to find its source, thinking it might be Master Bo-Hi but doubted the Master would use such a crude means of voicing his approval.

Instead he saw the woman, Shinran, datapad in hands, sitting not too far away on the floor with her back to a crate. Smiling as she also admired Kayupa's performance. Skar felt his own cheeks warm with a touch of sudden anger at seeing her face, seeing her happy, but his head was soon too occupied with guilt.

And for a brief moment he almost walked over and apologized, until he realized he didn't know why he should apologize. He feared the day he would have to talk to her or the day she would come over to him and they'd have to talk. Somehow he just wished he never had to talk to her. That she wasn't here, but then Kayupa wanted her nearby.

Then it happened. Her eyes moved from Kayupa to him, her green eyes staring right down into him, and though her smile remained it lost some of its sincerity. Skar felt a stab of light run through him, a shiver down his spine, and was ambushed by the sudden birth of joy inside him.

Time seemed to stand still and Skar felt his heart start to pound against his ribcage. Shy or maybe as uncomfortable as he felt, she looked back down at her datapad and the moment was lost. Skar stood there feeling impotent and embarrassed in himself. He didn't know if he was being a jerk, but he knew he wanted to move on that moment.

He wanted it back.

Skar shook his head and ridded himself of the feeling.

"Skar."

He turned and saw Master Bo-Hi sitting against the far wall. As Skar approached he noticed the alien Jedi was crouching on a pillow, his hands open on top of his kneecaps, and his head bowed down. Skar could guess the Master's eyes were closed even though the filters covered them. He could hear the hissing of the breathing behind the mask. The skin was pale and yellow and sweat was running down the scalp of the alien's crest. The scar on his face a reflection of past battles.

Skar sat down before him and closed his eyes in a mimic of the Master's posture. Without much help from the pillow he was perched on, the Jedi Master still sat a head taller than Skar. The Jedi Master looked down upon Skar. "Welcome, Jedi."

Jokingly Skar looked behind him to see if someone else was there. "Oh. You mean me."

Master Bo-Hi sat up, the jest lost on him. "How are you feeling?"

Skar closed his eyes and tried to explain his feelings in one word, as Bo-Hi had taught him to do whenever confused. "Uncertain."

Master Bo-Hi closed his eyes and Skar thought he'd slipped into another trance. "Your thoughts lie with….Kayupa."

Skar turned his head to see Kayupa still fighting the hologram, then looked back at the Master. "He's worried about something, and he won't tell me what it is."

Master Bo-Hi took a glance at Kayupa at the other end of the living quarters. "He's got to follow his own path. That's how he is. He won't open until he has checked every resource for an answer, and then finds out he needs advice from others. Kayupa is stubborn about that. Be thankful for his companionship, it will do great things for you."

Skar hoped that was true. "He told me that you two don't always agree on things."

"Every man follows his own wishes, and a wise man is content to feel he's right about something without feeling the necessity to prove someone else wrong. I wish I could change Kayupa's path, but it lies in the Force and it is not for me to change. Whatever he chooses, is what he wants."

Skar agreed. "But why is Kayupa's path not alright? Why is it that you don't agree with him?"

The Jedi Master shook his head and smiled. "I care for him, that is all. I don't want to see him get hurt."

Again the relationship between Master and student, father and son, was evident. Much love was between Kayupa and Master Bo-Hi. But their differences drove them apart. "What is it that Kayupa is worried about? Do you know?"

"It is not for me to say." Master Bo-Hi sighed and reached inside his cloak to extract a small item. As Skar looked closer, he identified it as some sort of plant. But it lived without roots or sunlight, so in fact it might have been an insect of sorts. Its surface was green, scaly like a snake, and instead of tentacles or limbs it had what appeared to be petals from a flower. The insides of it flowed like water and he saw veins running across the surface. Master Bo-Hi held it out and Skar put it into his palms, it fit easily.

The thing moved around as he lifted his hands. It didn't seem to move on its own, it just flowed with his movements.

"This is an aila." Master Bo-Hi explained. "It is a creature of Nanh, one the inhabitants tender like a god. It can cure diseases and lives only where it is most dark. The inhabitants of Nanh revere it and treasure it. When I first examined one, I found that it is an animal with a close kinship to the Force. The Force is what is providing the animal with life. It has not mouths or other ways of eating."

Skar felt the tingly feeling in his palm as the creature rolled along on his fingers. "Its great. I've never seen anything like this. But what is it good for other than helping to cure others? What is its purpose?"

Master Bo-Hi folded his hands together. "You don't see that it is like the Jedi?"

"What?"

"Is it so hard to believe? The Jedi are the followers and protectors of justice and peace, but we are only but one image of the Force. The aila is another, your race, the Kjoil, is one more. The Force is in everything and in some things more than others."

Skar nodded, not sure he wanted to think he was just another aspect of the Force. He was brought up being told he was special. I'm not some bug.

Master Bo-Hi placed himself closer. Skar observed him as the Jedi seemed to enter another kind of meditative sleep.

"What now?"

"Place your hand on the surface of the aila," the Jedi Master demanded. Master Bo-Hi's stern voice told Skar that he would have no choice. Nor did he have any reason to object out of anything but simple defiance. Curiosity drove him to obey the Jedi's demand. Skar's palm touched the liquid surface and he felt the soft, green material with his fingers.

"Now…I want you to recall the worst moment in your life."

Skar looked up to show his lack of understanding. The Jedi's eyes were still closed and engulfed in darkness. Skar sighed and returned to the aila.

"Whatever." Skar closed his eyes. His worst moment in life. Skar immediately thought of Lwen, whom had been unfairly taken from his life. The feeling of his loss was no match for the gut feeling that what had happened had not been fair. No one deserved to experience that kind of pain of losing someone that dear, no one should have to be put through such a thing.

Nobody deserved pain at that magnitude, no matter what ill they might have caused. No one should have to see their loved ones being taken from life. Skar felt a cold stab of emotion as his anger rose to new heights.

He started to clutch his hand in anger -

"Ouch!" Skar flinched and dropped the aila on the floor as a thorn pricked his palm. He looked at the tiny little point that had not been there when he had touched the aila. Blood dripped from the thorn, as well as from his palm. Skar saw the blood flowing over both his hands now, and shot a cold stare at the Jedi Master. "Why? Why did I have to do that?"

"To make you understand that the pain you harvest, will weaken your touch with the Force. And it will hurt you from the outside just as rough."

Skar looked back down at his hand and then over at the thorn. His connection, however lacking it may have been, with the Force, had an external effect on his surroundings. He understood that Master Bo-Hi had shown him that as a Jedi pain on the inside would be just as harmful on the outside.

His dark emotions and saddened thoughts had flowed through him with the Force and the aila had sensed his negativity. He'd connected with it through the Force. It had returned the same kind of pain that he had channeled through it. He fed it mental pain; it fed him physical pain.

"I think I get it. My hate is what is making me see the world as hateful. If I feel joy, I'll see the world in a better light. It's pretty obvious when you think about it, but as Jedi the effect is more serious."

Master Bo-Hi nodded and his face became grim. "The Force allows you to see the flaws inside. Once you vanquish those flaws, you will be open to its power. But if you concentrate on negativity, the Force will dampen and your connection will fade."

Skar watched his hand, watched the dripping of dark blood onto the floor. As Jedi, my flaws are keeping me from seeing and feeling the Force.

The Jedi Master pointed at the aila. "Pick it back up and concentrate on your happiest memory in life."

Skar nodded and picked it back up, careful of the thorn, but noticed the thorn was gone now and Skar touched it again with his palm, hoping for a better result this time. My happiest memory. Skar instantly smiled, knowing the exact memory in life that had been his happiest. The first vision of his mother, Sasa Kjoil. Her inner beauty and strength, resembling himself in more ways than he could count. Seeing her had been more than he'd once hoped for, because the pain of knowing it might never happen would dwell too hard in his heart.

Seeing her was something he could never forget, the wave of emotions. So many variations of joy that he could not contain them. So many possibilities and ideas coming to light, a hundred million notes of every single detail about her. The way she spoke, the way she moved, the way her eyes shone with the love that only a mother's could do, and her smile. Last but not least, the things she had said. Revealing the future he had always wanted. A destiny for something greater.

Skar felt a tingling sensation as something inside the aila moved. Small petals wrapped around his knuckles and wrist. Green snakes broke through its surface and tightened around his hand, but not hard enough to hurt him. They tendered his hand, nurtured it. He felt their delicate touch as they massaged his tender hand and his bleeding cut. He felt liquid dripping from inside the vines which flowed inside his wound.

He felt the liquid cleaning the cut, and destroying bacteria. Clearing out any unwanted infections and healing his hand. Being in touch with the plant through the Force, was like standing inside the plant. All around him hummed life and energy. The feeling he'd had on the bridge was returning to him, the touch of the Force.

He pulled the hand back only to see the vines extend themselves as they continued to work on him. They didn't let go, and he smiled at the sight of nature repairing him like a nurse would, only better. Skar laughed slightly as they finished their work. He looked up at the Jedi Master, smiling.

"This is incredible!"

Master Bo-Hi nodded and smiled. "Its the Kjoil in you. You have a certain touch for reaching into not only life in a person, but life in itself. Nature. Every single living being, from small creatures, insects, into plants." The Jedi Master was very pleased. "The Force will help you when you are at peace with it. When you are calm and rid of negativity."

Skar examined his hand, the pain was gone as if it had never been there. A perfectly healed scar was the only evidence of the cut. Skar grinned. Now I have two scars. One to remember Lwen and one to remember the root of my power. "I can't believe I'm doing this." Skar bowed his head to the aila and smiled to show his appreciation. "Thank you, little one."

The vines slithered back into their home inside the green aila.

An hour later, all the bunks and cargo had been cleared out of the living quarters to make as much space as possible for Skar's exercise. The woman, Shinran, didn't seem interested at all, but no space was left for her to pursue another activity so she'd reluctantly participated in the show. Skar had been given an array of clothing, including a full Jedi wardrobe, complete with tunic, pants and cloak, all in the sand-brown colors, like Kayupa's. Kayupa had even been so gracious as to give Skar his bandana. Kayupa had tied it around his head, saying it would keep his sweat out of his eyes. Skar was happy for the gift and recognized it as more than a part of the attire. It showed support from Kayupa. He was only sad he didn't anything to offer Kayupa.

Skar dressed in his outfit and clipped his lightsaber to his belt. Then he walked into the newly created 'training room', and bowed to Master Bo-Hi.

"This will be your first real training in use of the lightsaber. I want you to use the ability you used with the aila. Open up your emotions, feel, don't think. Let the Force guide you. Understood?"

Skar took in the words, and digested them. He blanked his mind. "Yes."

Master Bo-Hi nodded and held out his hands, palms upward. "Before we start; in a Knight there is failure, but to an Apprentice it is called learning. What happens here, good or bad, will not be failure or success. Don't get hung up on your result. Learn from it. Next time you will make a wiser choice, based on what you have learned in previous lessons. This is why its called training, because you learn from your experiences."

Skar felt more secure and Master Bo-Hi's point of view reassured most of his thoughts. It made more sense to think of it as a learning experience. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Skar readied himself for combat, no, training with the Jedi Master Bo-Hi Dzog, and tried his best not to let too much of his excitement show.

Master Bo-Hi held out a hand, pointing at a wide circle of red paint at his feet that functioned as the training circle. "If you cross this line, you lose the fight. Step inside."

Skar stepped inside, feeling the weight of his lightsaber on his hip, just as Master Bo-Hi walked out of the circle, revealing a lonely single figure crouching on the floor. Skar gasped. Kayupa was sitting there, meditating on the floor, deep in thought, on the other side of the circle, also dressed in his sand-colored tunic. He had thrown his cloak on the floor outside the circle, and his lightsaber rested in his lap comfortably.

I'm gonna compete against Kayupa!

No, this couldn't be. They couldn't set him up against Kayupa, there was no hope of him ever winning against Kayupa. Why not fight a hologram? Why Kayupa? Before Skar's questions could be answered, Kayupa moved, his hand reached slowly inside his tunic where he picked out a new bandana. He combed back his long dark hair with his fingers before strapping it tight under the bandana, tightening the knot at the back of his head.

Using telekinesis, Kayupa's lightsaber flowed from his lap into the air in front of his face where it slowly orbited itself, waiting for its master to use it.

Showoff.

Skar unclipped his lightsaber and cradled it in his hands while Kayupa rose slowly from the floor and the lightsaber followed in air. He opened his eyes and looked over Skar. The bow of respect to his opponent came next before Kayupa plucked his lightsaber out of the air. Skar bowed too though he wasn't sure why. Kayupa was not his inferior or his superior. They were friends. Bowing should not be necessary between friends.

Oh, and fighting with lightsabers is?

Skar shook his head and tried to let his anxiety flow out of him with his breath. Kayupa leaned his side against Skar and held his lightsaber in front of his chest. Skar calmed his mind, and focused it to the task ahead, realizing that the fight was already on. He made it his goal to find and flow perfectly with the Force, not to win the fight. The real win in this fight would be if both succeeded, and none lost. Skar realized, having seen Kayupa fight others, that just wasn't gonna happen.

Skar set his worries and prior assumptions of Kayupa aside. Skar didn't care about winning. He cared about perfecting his skills. To him knowing he could his craft was enough.

Kayupa smiled and ignited his blade, covering everything in a blue haze. His smug smile suggested that he wouldn't be able to take defeat. All though that was a good trait in a warrior, dealing with the Force was quite different. There was a very small line between confidence and overconfidence, and overconfidence led to the Dark Side.

"This exercise is for personal curiosity, I must admit. I want to see how good you are with the lightsaber, so that I can judge how I will train with you in the future. Master Bo-Hi has selected me to be your drill-instructor with the lightsaber. You will learn from me, and I will pass my knowledge to you. Absorb what you can, and let the rest come to you through the Force."

Skar tightened his fist around the lightsaber. "Okay." The sharp fire-blade hummed to life in Skar hands, contrasting Kayupa's blue. The match made a gloomy, flaming green light loom over Shinran and Master Bo-Hi who'd taken up spectator seating on the cargo crates.

Master Bo-Hi nodded to them both. "Open yourself up to the Force. Let it fuel your moves and drive your emotions. May the Force be with you."

Skar took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and did what he had done with the aila. He opened his mind and felt the Force tingling all around him. Only when he was at complete touch did he make his move. Or rather, the Force made its move, that was how it felt. He was only a conduit for its power, a vector for its awesome surge.

Kayupa saw it coming, or felt it, and took a short jump back, parried as Skar's fire-blade struck down hard. Kayupa pushed his blade back up and hacked at Skar's open area. Skar rolled back, evading the strike, and coming back on his feet.

Kayupa didn't waste a second, he came jumping towards him and Skar launched himself forward as well. They met halfway, their blades sparked in midair and Skar landed again in the same spot, while Kayupa continued to fly for ten feet, but still remained within the circle.

Skar swirled and his blade followed the motion. Kayupa ducked and then lunged fiercely hard at Skar's side. Skar parried and forced Kayupa's blade up and lunged at Kayupa's open section. Kayupa parried perfectly, before producing two quick strikes that sent Skar face first to the floor.

Grunting, Skar rolled away before Kayupa could reach him and jumped to a stand.

"Try more powerful parries," Kayupa instructed while reasserting himself. "Power is not revealed by striking hard or often, but by striking true."

Skar frowned. "I'm doing as best as I can." He really was, only he couldn't produce the same kind of strength as Kayupa could. Someday he might but it was too early for him to train against a seasoned swordsman like Kayupa. He could parry most of the strikes but Kayupa always bested him in pure strength, some inner surge that kept him powerful.

The thought of Kayupa acting aggressively because of his own emotional problems suddenly occurred to him.

Hesitantly Skar moved forward, with his blade ready to fend off any strikes. After a couple of feints, Kayupa tricked in a quick stab, straining Skar's weak parry and forcing him back. Skar cursed and caught a glimpse at Master Bo-Hi who was looking at Kayupa in a very resentful way. Skar chose to ignore Kayupa's advice.

Calm, passive.

Kayupa didn't give him time enough to recover completely. The Jedi circled and pounded his blue blade on top of Skar, who barely managed to brush the blade aside with his. Kayupa jumped back shortly before coming back in for another attack, but Skar parried his strikes and kept the match at an even.

Skar could sense some friction in the way Kayupa moved around and the way he fought. He fought aggressively, passionate and very eager. Almost too eager. Not the way a Jedi should fight. It almost seemed as if Kayupa enjoyed fighting and from what he'd learned that was not a good thing.

As for himself , Skar could feel the Force guiding him, touching him, and moving him where it wanted him to be. It wasn't as if it took over him anymore, it just pushed him in the right direction and opened his senses wide like small satellites of perception. Every detail and aspect of the moment moved through Skar, and even before he could think of a strike, he'd already executed it. He felt strong, brave and most of all; in touch with the Force.

Skar fought on.

On top of his crate Bo-Hi watched the match, knowing Skar was wondering why he'd been set up against Kayupa and Bo-Hi could only smile at the reason.

He will know when he is in touch. Its only a matter of time. He's doing better than I would have expected. Its the Kjoil in him.

Skar was slightly timid of him, he knew. It was better to patch him up with someone at his own age and someone like himself. Though Skar had clearly stated his wish for slow advancement into the training, he still seemed to enjoy fighting Kayupa. But where Skar was wisely cautious about his progress, he still had a lot of eagerness in him.

Bo-Hi sighed. It seemed all of his apprentices, even those who had died in the Purge had been so in the beginning. Too eager to learn how to master this powerful gift given to them. It was only when they had been training for some years, when they began to understand what the Force really was, that they realized how little it had to do with what they wanted to do with it. Kayupa still hadn't learned that the Force was not for the individual but for the whole. The bigger picture.

The Force indeed was a tool, Bo-Hi agreed with Kayupa on that, but one to be treated with the highest respect possible. Misuse and abuse would lead to darkness and very few apprentices knew that from the start.

Bo-Hi was proud of how well Skar already fought, precise, tempered, concentrating. It was as though he spent more of his energy thinking and focusing on the Force to read Kayupa's attacks than to simply apply a good attack. He had all the foundations to one day be a master swordsman, it almost came by nature to him. Skar unwillingly became a defender whereas Kayupa took on the role of the aggressor. Skar already knew Kayupa's moves in advance and used that knowledge to evade traps and dangerous plots directed by Kayupa. Where he failed, he failed only in physical strength, in that department Kayupa had a great advantage in his training. Skar ducked, rolled, blocked, parried, defended and always stayed at a clear distance of Kayupa.

Though he had reservations about Kayupa taking the role of aggressor upon himself, he reasoned that it was better for Skar to learn defense before he moved on to learn how to combine it with an attack. Kayupa was the aggressive party, always striking, swirling, trying to send Skar on his back.

Bo-Hi knew that Kayupa would never take defeat well. And in his anxiety right now, it would be catastrophic for him to suffer loss.

Time will tell then, who's more in touch with the Force.

Bo-Hi made a promise to himself that once he got the moment he would talk to Kayupa so this anxiety could be thwarted.

Kayupa drove against Skar's defenses for a few hours before putting an end to it. Close to the end, Skar was heaving for his breath, but still managed to hold his lightsaber straight. Kayupa knew the heavy breathing was due to the fact that he hadn't learned to replenish his strength with the Force like Kayupa had.

That is enough for now.

Kayupa felt the emotion of satisfaction from his Master and agreed mentally, only hoping it would have come an hour earlier. Though exhausted, Skar had come through in a most amazing way in the last hour, and although Kayupa suspected the Kjoil was too tired to notice it, he could have won the match. He powered down his blade and bowed traditionally to Skar.

But the Kjoil still staggered forward, like a drunken man, his blade still burning, and his drowsy eyes eager for victory. Kayupa couldn't help smiling when Skar slumped to the floor in a heap. His chest heaving and his breath shallow. Skar looked like a wounded animal, still eager to fight and not ready to quit. He tried to stand, but his arms weren't strong enough and his face slammed down onto the floor.

Master Bo-Hi came into the circle, padded Kayupa on the shoulder and stepped between them. Master Bo-Hi bowed down next to Skar and squeezed his shoulder. "Do you know where your failure laid?"

Skar mumbled something into the floor neither Jedi could discern.

"You went into the fight already convinced you were going to lose; that's why I chose Kayupa to be your drill-instructor. Because you believed you could not defeat him. Its important not to let your previous assumptions affect your - "

Kayupa grinned. "Master, I don't think he's hearing you. Let him rest."

Bo-Hi chuckled and supposed Kayupa was right. "Relax, Skar. I realize today was hard on you, and it will get harder. Today was just to give you a crash-course into the methods. Now you've become accustomed to the lightsaber. And you'll know what to expect the next time."

Skar's lips twitched but Bo-Hi wasn't sure if it was a smile or a spasm.

"Good work, both of you." Master Bo-Hi nodded to Kayupa and walked away.

Kayupa gave him a long stare before looking down at the fallen and helpless Skar.

Skar's eyes were fighting to focus as his mouth pulled back in an evil sneer.

"Next time…you won't be so lucky."

Then he passed out in a daze of dreams.

Kayupa wanted to smile at the brave Skar but his feelings were elsewhere. Kayupa counted his luck and his pride stung under the emotion he'd gotten from Master Bo-Hi during the session. If Skar had only not focused on his assumptions regarding Kayupa, he might have taken him.

Eager for answers Kayupa set off to catch up with Master Bo-Hi who was halfway up the stairs to the cockpit.

"Master, don't walk away from me. I - "

Master Bo-Hi turned. "You will change your tone of voice."

Kayupa realized his own failure. He hadn't intended a tone of anger. Why did I do that? "I'm sorry, Master. I meant no disrespect."

Master Bo-Hi nodded. "What was it you wanted?"

Kayupa straightened out and walked with his Master to the cockpit where Skar or Shinran wouldn't overhear them. Kayupa lowered his voice as much as he could, while keeping an eye down the stairs for either of them. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

Kayupa drew in a deep breath. "Skar's fighting. You said he had skill, but he was - " Kayupa paused as if the words hurt him, " - his fighting style was like nothing I've ever seen. How did he learn so much so quickly?"

Master Bo-Hi leaned against the cockpit's navigator chair, a shrewd look on his face. "Is this a question about why he did so good, or why you did so poorly?"

Kayupa shrugged. "Its not that I think I'm that good. I just didn't expect it. I didn't think he was that far ahead in his training."

Master Bo-Hi nodded. "Its the Kjoil fighting style, they developed their own. Its born into him by his family." The Jedi Master hugged himself. "Like all their gifts and traits, its genetic. I am not surprised to see it flourish, which was another reason I pitted him against you. I needed him distracted; in danger the most instinctive emotions come forth. His survival sense must have triggered it."

"It took a lot out of him. If he hadn't exhausted himself I doubt I could have - "

"Taken him?" The Jedi Master finished the sentence. "This is not failure on your part, my apprentice. Few Jedi in history have stood against a Kjoil and won." His face darkened. "Infact, as I recall no one has."

Kayupa felt slightly better. "I see now what you meant back on Nar Shaddaa. The emotions are what drives the Kjoil to excel. They don't need restraints, their feelings are what makes them powerful. Do you think this happened to Skind - "

Master Bo-Hi shook his head as if to wave off Kayupa's question. "I don't know all the answers yet. I too need time to ponder."

Kayupa bowed. "As you wish, Master."

Jedi do not dream. They either just sleep peacefully or they receive visions. But those visions only come if they can help you.

The dream was a warning.

Lost inside a world of dreams, Skar received an odd vision of the hazy future that awaited him. Subconsciously he knew that it was a dream, but he was still surprised at how vivid it felt. He was standing on a lush green field with tall grass and mountains in the horizon, there was a soothing breeze that washed over him, cooling him. His fingers caressed the grass that almost reached his hips as he walked through the beautiful and serene landscape.

A part of him wondered if receiving visions through the Force meant that it was like seeing the future. A vision could be so many things, the one he'd had on Nar Shaddaa had convinced him that it was the past that he'd seen. If he could see the past, other people's pasts, did that mean he could also see the future?

And if that was so, did it mean that the future was already set in stone? He didn't like to think that, he wanted to feel he was able to choose his own destiny. After all, that was what being a Kjoil was all about.

Pushing those thoughts aside for the moment and just enjoying the spectacle, he walked on through the grass. It occurred to him that he had never seen grass before, or felt it. He wondered how accurate a vision could be, wondered if the sensation of the grass slipping between his fingers was how it really felt. He decided that it didn't really matter right now, and hoped that if it was a vision, it was one of the future. He could see himself living a good life there, on a world so natural and invigorating.

He started climbing up a small hill, hoping for an even better view of the world on top. As he reached its peak he was blinded by the dominant sun, forcing him to look away. Covering his eyes with his hand provided enough shade for him to try and look again. As he looked up, he pondered why he was alone on the world.

And found he was not.

Stormtroopers, millions of them clad in white shining armor, were matching across the plains before him, leaving a trail, as wide as the hill he was standing on, of flattened grass. Skar's first instinct told him to run, but there was nowhere to run to. He felt the ground begin to shake as the millions of armored feet approached the hill at a steady pace. The hill began to shake so violently the closer they marched and Skar lost his footing.

Tumbling down the hillside he cursed his luck that he fell down on the wrong side. With each uncontrolled roll he fell closer to them, closer to a battle he felt sure he could not win.

His body smashing against the ground, he laid there sprawled for a few seconds before finding the strength to push himself up. When he did a stormtrooper was so close that its armored shoulder pushed him back down.

Wherever he looked, stormtroopers occupied the view, shining even brighter than the sun. They didn't even turn to look down at him. Mesmerized by their behavior he slowly stood and placed himself within their lines so he wouldn't be pushed down again. Like mindless puppets they marched on up the hill behind him.

What the hell is going on?

Frustrated and confused, he drew his lightsaber and executed a wide slash around him. Four troopers fell to his blade, their pieces of armor collapsing and falling apart as if no one was inside the perfect white armor. The rest of the endless army still marched, stepping over his slain victims without a second thought. But as he looked back at the lines where the troopers he'd killed should have been, new troopers completed the rows.

When I kill one, more appear. How can I win?

The troopers continued on across the grass and up the hillside, despite his efforts to kill them. Skar grew more frustrated and powered down his lightsaber.

This is pointless!

Skar looked down at the shattered armor by his feet and he crouched down. Lifting up a helmet he found that there was a face inside it. But it was not that of a human, but an alien of a species he had never seen.

The skull shape seemed different from humans and the skin was almost reptilian. Strong muscles, clearly groomed by war and combat. Scars ran deep in the flesh and patterned tattoos covered the most parts of the face.

After I kill a stormtrooper this alien arrives, a warrior of another world. Will an even greater threat come than the Empire? An alien threat?

Skar looked back up, only to find the millions of stormtroopers had been replaced with aliens of the same species as the one whose head he held in his hands. Only they weren't marching, they were standing still in place, surrounding him.

Staring back at him.

Fear set in immediately as he stood and dropped the head from his hands. His spine felt like thousands of spiders were crawling up and down . Skar jumped back and powered his lightsaber back up again. He then lunged forward at the closest alien and came down with a high chop that should have severed the alien in two.

The lightsaber didn't even dent it.

Something is coming. Something more dangerous than the Empire. And I'm the only one who knows. Why me? Why am I having these visions? Is it part of my heritage?

Skar went in for another strike, but to the same end. The alien pushed forward and kicked him to the ground. Laying there, he could hardly control his fear. A part of him wanted to cry out for someone to help him, but he knew he was alone. No one would come.

The alien stood above him, and Skar could only watch in terror as the alien made a feral grin and raised its arms in a majestic V to the sun.

Hey?

The alien roared in its own tongue and Skar's ears began to hurt -

"Hey?"

Skar awakened on his bunk to a gut-wrenching sensation. Someone was standing over him, just like the alien had, but Skar couldn't make out the face. Nauseous, he pushed the person aside and ran as fast as he could, only he didn't know where he was going. His stomach convulsed and he fell to his knees just before he vomited all over the floor before him. His entire body felt like it was going to explode, with the horrifying vision of the future replaying before his eyes. A vision he didn't entirely understand, but still knew must be true, Kayupa had told him so.

Skar wiped the sweat from his brows, wiped the saliva from his mouth and tried not to smell the sour stench of his own puke as he got back up and slowly walked back to his bunk.

As he reached it he noticed the person he'd pushed aside was still sitting there.

Shinran.

"Are you sick?" Her green eyes looked at him questioningly but Skar didn't know what to tell her. Didn't know if he had anything to tell her. As he tried to brush her away she pushed him back from the bunk and he stumbled over on the floor.

She towered over him and pointed a finger at his face. "What is your problem!"

Skar could feel her rage inside, though he figured it wouldn't take a Jedi to know she was ticked off. "I'm sorry, I…I didn't…"

Scowling, she crossed her arms across her chest. "What? You thought you could just ignore me like you have been so far?"

Skar tried to talk but words had left him. Isn't it me who's supposed to be yelling at her? "N..No…I want to…I haven't been-"

"Oh yes, you have! And you know it, you're just too big a coward to tell it to my face."

Skar rose up on his elbows. "First off; yes, you're right. I have been avoiding you," he confessed. "But I am not a coward!"

For a brief moment something tucked at the corner of her lips, a very faint smile, but she turned her face away before Skar could find its root. She must not have wanted him to see that smile. Before he could find out what had brought it, she sat back down and padded the bunk beside her.

"We have to talk."

Skar almost heaved a second time. But despite his reservations towards her there was something about her. Skar got the feeling she wanted to understand him and to be understood in return. And he found it odd to realize it was the first time he really looked at her, really took the time to study her and find out what or who this person being really was. She looked about the same height as him, probably the same age too. Her oval eyes had a charismatic green to them, that matched perfectly with her blond hair that was tucked carefully behind her ears.

She'd been donated clothes from the ship, but the selection in women's wear was lacking. She was wearing a black short-sleeved shirt that was two or three sizes too big for her. A pair of dirty black workpants. He'd seen her get onto the ship the night Lwen had died, and Skar remembered her as sickeningly pale and very thin. She's gotten her physique back in the last few days on the ship, despite eating nothing but porridge, and her color.

She looked almost human again.

Skar had met, or seen, women before but this one looked very different. He immediately understood Kayupa's interest in her. She's…very pretty. Sure, its easier for Kayupa to be caught up in her looks; she hasn't killed one of his relatives. Skar flinched at the thought. "Well, I'm here now, what do you want to talk about?"

Sitting on his bunk, she leaned up against the wall and folded her legs in front of her. "Your uncle."

Skar felt his heart miss a beat and a sting drove through it. "Well -"

"I want you to know I never intended to hurt him. Honestly. I was scared, nervous. He punched me and I saw Kayupa lift his blaster so I did what anyone would do; I pulled the trigger. I know its of little consolation, but I meant that shot to hit Kayupa."

The wave of shame and disappointment coming from her told Skar she meant what she said. But he pushed away the desire to comfort her. He wished he'd learned to use telepathy so he could comfort her mentally, thinking physical touch was not called for so early in their knowing each other, or at such an occasion. But he could still feel her need for redemption. Somewhere inside her was a dripping self-confidence going on empty. She had many unanswered questions in her.

As she went on talking, her voice stuttered, sounding very fragile. "It was the first time I've ever shot anyone. The first time I'd even held a blaster."

Skar sat forward. "Kayupa said you had your own blaster?"

"I took it from one of the dead guards. Kayupa didn't know. I only planned to use it in case he didn't live up to his word. I was afraid he'd kill me once we got outside."

Skar rubbed his jaw, feeling the small hairs starting to grow there."But he didn't try to kill you. And I know he never would have. And I saw you from the ship. You weren't provoked and you were in no danger. Why did you -"

"Take your uncle hostage? Good question." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I was afraid. I've never been given many chances in life. My life has always been humble. I've begged for food, credits. I was born on the streets, raised on the streets. Watched men cower for a few credits. Disgusted by my own life and my family. Ate what others threw away."

Skar tried to understand, but how could he? He'd never lived that kind of life. He felt bad for all the times he'd walked past the homeless and denied them food or water. Not that he had any to spare. But hearing it from her point of view made him feel sorry. "How did you end up in the dungeon?"

"My father was killed by someone who worked for the Rancor League. He took me with him, I don't know why, but he sold me as a slave to that weapon's dealer, Sasori, or whatever his name was."

Skar wanted to stroke her hand to comfort her, but still held back. He couldn't explain why he was being so careful. She looked so fragile and Skar felt like he'd explode soon if he didn't do anything to help her, to comfort her…to touch her.

"How long were you there?"

She thought. "For two years, I guess. I thought Kayupa was a dream. I thought it was just another foolish dream of being rescued."

The word dream made Skar's thought drift back to the vision he'd seen. A touch of fear collected in his guts, which reminded him of how sick he really felt. Reminding him of his little accident on the floor. Skar's jaw clenched, looking away and trying not to imagine the sight and smell of his own vomit.

She noticed it and placed a comforting hand on his thigh. "Are you sick?"

The touch of her hand sent shivers through him, and pushed away any nausea. "No," he mumbled, "I just…had a bad dream."

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh." A light chuckle followed shortly. "If anyone asks, we'll just blame it on the food."

Skar grinned. "Yeah," he smiled shyly, "at least then no one will question it."

She laughed. "That's true."

And there, as they sat there and laughed, Shinran turned into a friend, no longer the accused murder of his uncle. He couldn't explain why, but he knew the grudge he'd carried towards her, was no more. She was still laughing when he gathered the courage to finally stroke her hand. She looked up at him and smiled.

That simple smile was like a ray of sunlight breaking through stormy clouds. "I'm past what happened that night, and I want you to be, too."

She blinked. "Thank you, Skar. I was hoping you would come around to that thought. Master Bo-Hi told me you would in time. He's wise, you know."

Skar nodded. "He is."

She sniffed. "He told me a lot about the Force, right after he assured me that I'm not Jedi material. I never thought I was, though. But being around all you guys made me wonder. Peer-pressure, you know. Caught up in the crowd." She made an awkward smile, testing if a joke was in place.

Skar chuckled, feeling much better about himself and seeing some glimpses of a future with this woman.

Shinran sat at the edge of the bunk. "Tell me about that fight yesterday."

Her bringing that subject to his mind made him feel like a Jedi again. "It made me come closer to the Force. I fought better only because of it. Now I can touch the Force whenever I want. I can feel what you're feeling. I can read your mind if you'd like me to try."

She brought her head up. "Don't bother. I don't want to give you any bad dreams." She looked out at the rest of the living quarters, seeing Kayupa's and Master Bo-Hi's sleeping forms. "Master Bo-Hi seemed…unhappy about Kayupa yesterday."

Skar was surprised. She picked up on that? So it wasn't just me? "Kayupa is fighting something right now, I guess. On the inside."

She scoffed. "A cold perhaps?"

Skar understood she was referring to the way Kayupa had been shutting her and everyone else out ever since they'd left Nar Shaddaa. He'd been solitary and kept to himself.

"Aren't you two friends?"

Skar thought of Kayupa and himself as friends, but the fact was that they'd only known each other for a few weeks. Skar saw Kayupa as a friend who was just dealing with some issues, that he would share with Skar when he was ready. Skar respected that. "He'll tell me when he's ready."

"Maybe he's doubting himself. I know what that feels like." Shinran looked lost. "Like Master Bo-Hi said; The Dark Side is always with us, watching, praying for us to fail."

Skar nodded. "Then we must make sure we don't fail."

Shinran looked at him in a way that told him what he'd said didn't hold up in real life and frowned. "Easier said than done."

Skar leaned closer to her. "You don't have much confidence in yourself, do you?"

"No."

"Why?"

She rose from his bunk and made a casual gesture. "When hopelessness is all you've ever seen, you begin to wonder if there really is anything else."

The living quarters was silent for a long time. They just sat or stood there, sharing the confusion and angst. Skar folded his hands in front of him, the way Kayupa did when he wanted to appear sincere, drew in a big breath and closed his eyes. "Sometimes, Shinran, if you believe something to be real, it becomes real. Real enough. You're working against yourself."

Shinran glared at him. "What is it with you Jedi? Not everything can be fixed and I didn't ask for your advice. I guess it must be a Jedi-trait. Goodnight." She started to turn but never made it all the way. "Oh, and if you think I'm gonna clean up your little mess just because I'm the only woman onboard, you can forget it!" She finally turned and walked to her own bunk far away in the other end of the living quarters.

And although her last words were a mixture of sarcasm and bitter humor, although his body still shivered with the fear of his vision, although the taste of bile in his mouth made him sick, and although he still had to clean up his own vomit, he still found reason enough to smile.

"Goodnight, Shinran," he whispered.

The next day Skar was enjoying the wonderful cardboard taste and delightful green color of the ship's finest porridge. The bile in his mouth combined with the sand-like chewing actually achieved a Jedi-like test. Skar took in a spoonful of the green goo and before the taste set in on his tongue, he would connect himself with the Force and set himself outside his own senses. Instead he drifted among the channels of the Force, enjoying enlightenment, while his body suffered the torture of the finest dining the Koniduz had to offer. When he found what he needed, distraction, he returned to his body and saw the empty bowl on the table in front of him. But the aftertaste still lingered in his mouth with bitter and sour disgust.

Gotta remember to fix the aftertaste next time.

As he looked up he found Kayupa sitting across from him at the table, no food present, leaned back in his seat with an entertained look on his face. He squinted his eyes. "Nice trick you got there. Guess its better than actually eating that stuff."

Skar dropped his spoon into the empty bowl and set it aside. "Is that what you do?"

Kayupa lifted an eyebrow. "Have you seen me eat anything in the past weeks?"

Skar thought it over and realized he hadn't. "How do you do it?"

"By tuning into the Force I receive the nourishment and energy my body needs. Its a simple technique, like meditation, it powers you. A fully trained Jedi can go days without proper food, but its only used if he is stranded and without any other choice. Its not healthy for the body, and an unhealthy body affects your connection with the Force."

Skar wiped his mouth with a piece of cloth, a little bit irritated at himself that he hadn't learned proper meditation yet. "I haven't learned any of those. I've learned to connect with the Force, and it gives me some nourishment, but its mostly nourishment for my soul and mind, not my gut. And its not enough to last without food for as long as you have."

Chuckling, Kayupa waved his hair back and Skar noticed the brown hair was starting to look very greased, he wondered if Kayupa had even bothered to shower while on the ship. The lines around his eyes and the paleness of his face made him look drained. Skar wondered if he looked as bad, and longed for a mirror or any reflective surface so he could see if the hunch was correct. And to see how his stubble was looking.

"You better take it slow. For now concentrate on your lightsaber skills. The rest will come later."

Skar nodded. "You wanna train with me again?"

Kayupa's eyes fluttered. "Not right now." He looked away. "Not right now."

Skar felt the emergence of Kayupa's inner turmoil and decided to pick a topic that he knew would lighten him up. "So. Shinran and I are getting along now. The first time we talked she explained me everything about that night, and I think we're past the silence."

Kayupa's wandering eyes found their way back to him and he smiled. "Good." He sat forward and leaned in close to Skar. "Tell me what you think of her?"

Skar felt slightly blushed. "I think she's great. I like talking to her."

"No, Skar," he looked around for anyone else and then leaned even closer, eyes wide. "Physically!"

Skar laughed. "Oh!" Now he felt really embarrassed. "Well, I think she's…she's very…um…attractive."

Kayupa smiled, a broad smug grin, and shook his head. "You may become a Jedi, but it looks like I'll have to teach you how to be a man too."

The two laughed together and enjoyed a long talk about Shinran and Jedi training afterwards. At no point did Kayupa come even close to talking about what bothered him, and Skar got tired of looking at his sulky face. Skar was getting sick of waiting for him to open up and he began to feel that Kayupa had lost trust in him. That hurt him as well as angered him because it testified that what Kayupa was hiding was something about Skar.

The next hour Kayupa shared many stories with him about his adventures as a Jedi. Filled with drama and egocentric details about himself and his, always present, superiority in combat. Skar began to see the idol transform into a man whose pride had taken a beating. Which was why Skar guessed that Kayupa had begun talking about past times. To remind himself of prior victories.

To remind him that he was still a hero.

"So these four guys were charging on me, I had my lightsaber out, and I - " Kayupa stopped abruptly.

Skar looked up and saw Shinran, on her way over to their table. She smiled at them both and sat down at the end of the table.

Kayupa looked like someone had just chopped off his tongue.

Shinran raised her eyebrows. "Go on. Continue your story."

Skar watched Kayupa's face move into embarrasment and he rose from the table. "Some other time perhaps. I should be watching the helm." Clumsily he managed to remove himself from the table and left for the bridge.

"You know we're in hyperspace, right, Kayupa? No need to be 'watching the helm.'" Shinran said, but the Jedi was already gone by then. Shinran sighed and placed her elbows on the table and pressed her palms against her cheeks. She looked miserable. "I don't think I'll ever understand any of the men on this ship. You're supposed to be the saviors of our Galaxy, yet whenever a woman comes close you run for your mother." She raised her arms in lighthearted confusion. "Such delicate creatures they are."

Skar laughed and scooted his chair closer to her. His face lightened with a joking smile. "I haven't run for my mother. I don't have a mother."

Her expression told him nice try.

"Listen. Don't give Kayupa reason to be upset." Skar cleared his throat. "You know he has feelings for you."

Shinran was unaffected. "His feelings are his."

"The Jedi avoid conflict." Skar ventured.

She looked at him. "Well, I'm not Jedi, Skar. And shouldn't the Jedi also trust their own feelings?" She looked away in frustration. "I have none for Kayupa. He's too self-involved."

"Still, go easy on him. He's just tense right now."

"Right now? He's been tense ever since I met him."

Skar thought back. "He wasn't this way before he went to rescue Lwen. But when he came back, he was changed. Something happened to him there."

Shinran looked puzzled. "Do you think he's tense because of me? He's a grown man. Why doesn't he just come clean?"

Skar shrugged. "He's just that way, I guess. There hasn't been a lot of - " he was about to say 'love' but thought better of it - "people in his life."

Shinran sighed. "I will deal with him some other time."

He nodded slowly. "Good."

She looked over at him and took time to choose her words. "Skar, you don't have to mediate everything, you know? Stop trying to fix everything. Some things are best left broken."

Skar's eyes narrowed. "I just want - "

"But its not always about what you want, Skar. In life, it rarely ever is. We're your friends, not your homework."

He would have been upset, but her smile smoothed any resentment. "I guess you're right. Its just…well, you know. You came from a very tough place, you must have dreamed about something better."

She frowned jokingly. "No, that thought never occurred to me at all. Silly me."

Skar chuckled and continued his explanation. "Its just that I've wanted this," he held out his hands to take in the whole living quarters, "this place in my life. Its here I've always wanted to be. Its here I belong, in training, becoming a Jedi. Its what I've always wanted. But there are pieces of it that don't match. Kayupa's problems, him and you - "

"Was Lwen's death included in that dream?"

Skar felt like his heart had been nailed to the wall, but a quick search of his emotions showed him that she was right. "No. He wasn't. He wouldn't have belonged here. I guess…he would have held me back from being what I want to be."

She glanced away. "I'm amazed how easily you can say that."

"Lwen would never have let me leave Nar Shaddaa. He would have kept me hidden there until his dying day. That's why it comes easily; I have been given many new options in the outcome of Lwen's death. A new best friend," Skar smiled lightly, "heck, even having a friend is new to me. And there's Master Bo-Hi who's going to teach me."

She nodded and made a cute little smile. "Was I in that vision?"

He blushed. "In a way you were."

"Really?" She was surprised. "What way was that?"

He pulled in a big breath and summoned the courage. "In my vision, it wasn't Kayupa who had feelings for you."

Her eyes widened slightly, but he read much in the way she looked at him. Like she really looked at him for the first time. And though it wasn't through the Force, he could see deep inside of her and he found something there. A glimmer of something. Something he ached for. The tension between them almost choked him and he felt relieved when she finally broke the stare.

Skar finally let his breath out.

She kept her eyes away from his. "Kayupa is no fool, you know, I can tell it in his eyes. He seeks something, and he can't wait to find it. His search I won't disturb."

Giddy as he felt, he knew the moment had come and gone and there was no sense in pursuing it. Patience was one of the Jedi's most cherished traits. At least he'd put the thought in her head, it was up to her to decide out whether or not the thought was going to remain just that.

Skar touched the Force and felt through Shinran's emotions. "You came here for the same reason. The same reason I'm here. To find out who we are. "

She smiled and looked back at him, and Skar could swear something had changed in her eyes. "Yeah," she said lightly, "but have you found what you came for?"

Regarding his training Skar realized he had, but not the whole, just clues and hunches about where to look. Regarding everything else he had found more than he could ever have hoped for. "No, just a piece of it."

The ship came to an abrupt stop and the entire living quarters rocked. Skar went flying out of his seat and pounded up against a crate as the ship froze in its place. Looking up he saw Shinran come flying towards him, but he held up his hand and summoned the Force to use telekinesis to land her safely next to him. The ship calmed down and Skar looked around at the tumbled crates and upside down bunks.

Shinran gathered herself and Skar helped her up. "What was that?"

We've come out of hyperspace. "I don't know. We are not at Nanh yet, not for another week. Come on!"

They ran out of the living quarters and up the stairs to the cockpit. Skar could immediately sense and almost taste the bad mood in the small cramped cockpit with the Force. Master Bo-Hi was seated in the navigator's chair behind Kayupa's first seat. Kayupa was busy punching controls and franticly getting their shields up.

Master Bo-Hi just stared at the scene outside the cockpit with a sad look.

Skar hunched down next to Master Bo-Hi and touched his shoulder. "Master, what's going on?"

Master Bo-Hi looked at Skar with a look that made Skar's heart cringe and curl up into a little ball. "War."

A siren wailed loudly over the cockpit, but Kayupa silenced it with the push of a console. "Don't worry. Just a proximity-alert."

Skar took his first look out the screen. "Proximity to wha - ?"

Outside the Koniduz a harrowing space battle was taking place between a group of Rebel traders and star pirates. Pirate starfighters were streaking past large missile frigates and capital ships, grazing their hulls with burning red rays of light. The ships' shields sparked and cracked under torpedoes launched from the attacking starfighters. The ships were ripped apart by laser fire and exploded in flaming balls of shrapnel.

The starfighters streaked again over the Rebel defense ships, crippling their weapons and leaving them dead in their wake. The Rebel haulers were lost without their defense-ships and were now open for the taking by the predatory attacks of the pirates. Skar spotted personal carriers launching from the pirate ships, flying for the haulers to invade their interior and steal their cargo.

Skar watched the carnage with an internal grief though he didn't know any of the people being killed outside the ship. He witnessed them killing each other as if it meant nothing. He witnessed lives ending in a split second. Hopes and dreams, memories, ideas, thoughts, wishes and desires silenced with the pull of a trigger. Lives ended without purpose or reason, or even fulfillment.

They just died.

As if she knew what he was thinking Shinran leaned in close to Skar. Skar looked at her, knowing exactly what she felt and then looked back out the screen at the natural selection of who lived and who died. It then occurred to him what Kayupa had tried to tell him on Nar Shaddaa, that taking lives were an inevitable part of the life he'd chosen. He feared the day he would have to.

Master Bo-Hi looked up at Skar and Shinran with a knowing glance. "This is what's wrong with the Galaxy. We should be working as one. We would be stronger that way. Things were better back in the Old Republic. This behavior is spawned by the Empire. Things didn't used to be this way."

Skar nodded. "We should stand together against our common enemy."

Kayupa talked over his shoulder. "I don't think our Galaxy has one enemy that wants us all dead."

Skar smiled though he knew it wasn't of joy, but of irony. "No, our Galaxy doesn't. But others may."

Master Bo-Hi looked up at Skar and his face shrouded in doubt. "What are you talking about?"

Skar shook his head and waved the thought away. He had no reason to believe that his dream about the aliens and the stormtroopers had been real or that it would ever happen. It could have just as easily have been his unconscious fears that had made him dream it. Right now the Empire was alive and more than enough of a threat to him.

A crackle came over their comm and Skar heard the voice rasping with fear in the other end. "…unidentified ship…this is the captain of the cargo ship Cornerstone…please help us…we're delivering food supplies for the Rebels…they need the supplies…please help us…"

Skar saw Kayupa heating up the weapons systems, until Master Bo-Hi intervened.

"This is not our fight."

Kayupa swirled his chair, rage flaming in his eyes. "You can't just leave them! They're helping the Rebels."

Master Bo-Hi shook his head. "I have a bad feeling about this one, my student. We will stay clear."

"You're leaving them to die? We can help them!"

Master Bo-Hi didn't buckle. "We are but one ship. I want to help them too, but we would achieve nothing other than jeopardize ourselves. We can't win it. We will wait for our time to come."

Skar felt his insides tying up in a knot when Kayupa's face contorted into anger. "You…you coward! This is why the Empire will always win, because we don't act when we can."

"We don't have the necessary power."

Kayupa swirled his chair and powered down the weapons systems with a loud sigh. Skar reached out to Kayupa to read his emotions but instead he felt a wave of hate coming from the Jedi.

… you stupid fool its all your fault I don't know could do something patience fear is my enemy I can't take this much more hate it…

Skar shook his head. That voice? Kayupa's voice, inside his mind. It took seconds to understand that in touching Kayupa through the Force he'd not only felt his emotions but heard his thoughts. Though he wanted to pull out of it Kayupa's thoughts bombarded him.

…they're all going to die must help the Rebels maybe they'll be alright I don't know why aren't we helping them Master Bo-Hi is a coward have to help them could have helped them if only we hadn't left the Jentarana…

The shock from hearing that last word severed their connection and he staggered back, a feeling of betrayal clutching to his heart. And he knew, somehow he just knew, that he had found the source of Kayupa's turmoil. Dazed, Skar looked down at Master Bo-Hi only to find the Jedi Master staring back up at him, a worried look on his face.

"Skar…you'd better go back down into the quarters. We'll be entering hyperspace soon."

Skar was speechless. "I…he said…"

Kayupa swirled his chair to look at his Master and Skar, confusion painted all over his face. "What?"

Master Bo-Hi raised his voice. "Skar! Go back to the quarters now!"

Skar stared at Kayupa's face, clouded with lack of understanding. Then he turned and descended the stairs, leaving the cockpit behind him.

Shinran followed him and stepped in front of him. "What was that all about? What was that talk about other galaxies?"

Skar shook his head. "I got this…weird feeling from Kayupa. I heard his thoughts. But I don't understand them. He said something about something called Jentarana?"

By the look of her face, Skar knew it meant nothing to her. "Jentarana?"

He leaned against the nearest wall. "I think its what's bothering him. Something about this Jentarana."

"Master Bo-Hi must know something, since he ordered you out of there like that."

Skar felt terrible. Why were they keeping secrets from him? "I don't get it."

Shinran sighed and looked around the living quarters. "I'm on the wrong ship."

Skar looked at her and saw her frilled beauty. She looked so sad standing there, completely misplaced in her life, surrounded by people she didn't understand and bothers she couldn't handle.

Skar leaned away from the wall and held her shoulder. "Come, lets clean this place up. I'll talk to Master Bo-Hi about it later. They can't keep it secret from me anymore. And if they try I'll confront them."

She looked up into his eyes and smiled carefully. Then she leaned in close against him and her arms wrapped around his waist. Skar held her close and felt her warm and tender surface. Just as tender and fragile as her insides. Skar calmed himself in the Force and then channeled the sensation through Shinran.

When he tried to feel her emotions he received something that sounded like it sounded like a single raindrop dripping in a pool. It was her confidence buckling under the pressure in her life. It wasn't comforting to know her confidence was so weak, but it was no surprise to him. Her constant unrest within her spirit blocked her from ever reaching happiness.

Skar felt a cold shiver run through him and he decided then and there never to use the Force to read her feelings again. She wanted a hug, not an invasion of her feelings, and he felt he could provide just that. Though she got the most of it, they both shared the comfort in each other's warmth.

When the Koniduz finally entered hyperspace safely, leaving a group of Rebel Alliance traders behind to fight for themselves, Master Bo-Hi came down from the cockpit with Kayupa in his wake. Skar was waiting for them, positioned himself on top of a crate with Shinran leaning against it by his dangling feet. Kayupa and Master Bo-Hi both looked up to find him staring back at them. His heart was pounding so fast that he thought Master Bo-Hi and Kayupa might even have been able to hear it, especially in the eerie silence that took over the living quarters.

"We need to talk." Skar said, his firm voice piercing the silence.

Master Bo-Hi stood his ground, and though he showed no sign of weakness, he also appeared to be surprised with Skar's courage. After a moment of silent contemplation the Jedi Master spread out his hands. "I suppose this subject cannot be concealed anymore. Your growing in the Force has allowed you to know things we've been keeping from you for a very good reason - "

"I'm tired of people who think they have to keep things from me because I'm not ready." Skar looked over at Kayupa. "And you. You've been deep as a cave ever since we left Nar Shaddaa. And I want to know why. What's going on?"

Master Bo-Hi walked closer to Skar. "We will tell you, but you must calm down."

Skar reached inside and his heart resumed to its normal pace, his mood regained its center. Skar folded his hands on his knees. "Okay, tell me."

"It all has to do with a conversation between you and me, Skar. A conversation that never finished."

Skar was puzzled. "I don't -"

"Skind Kjoil."

The shock hit him like a punch in the face. "My uncle?"

Master Bo-Hi nodded. "I never told you how he died. Why your sister's training was never completed by him. How the Republic cast him away and treated him like an enemy." Master Bo-Hi tightened his voice. "Or why he died."

Skar remembered talking about Skind's tomb on Coruscant and later learning that there was no grave, but realized he had no idea how his uncle had met his end. Nor why he was never able to complete Sasa's training.

Master Bo-Hi reached out his hand. "Skar, give me the lightsaber. Your uncle's lightsaber."

Skar's hand reacted and unclipped the lightsaber. He palmed it and handed it to Master Bo-Hi.

"And the Holocron."

Without asking questions, but slowly feeling he was being robbed of Jedi material he had, he gave the Holocron to the Jedi Master. Master Bo-Hi put down both items on the crate next to Skar and then entered a Jedi trance. The items moved and floated into the air. The lightsaber orbited the Holocron like a satellite. Skar noticed small sensors moving on the surface of the Holocron that read of the surface of the lightsaber.

Some kind of code?

Both items landed on the crate again and nothing seemed changed. Skar looked to Master Bo-Hi for an answer. Whatever he'd done hadn't seemed to work.

"A trick I remembered. Its a code incrusted into the lightsaber that the Holocron reads so it can access hidden information. You'll find the contents of the Holocron…updated."

Skar felt like pure ice was running through his body. "You've known about it all this time and you didn't tell me?"

Master Bo-Hi held up a palm. "I'll leave you to study all the things you've wanted to know. All the unknown answers. And there are many." Master Bo-Hi bowed to Skar and left with Kayupa trailing behind him.

Not sure whether he'd gotten what he wanted from the two Jedi, Skar jumped down from the crate and replaced the lightsaber in his belt. The Holocron sat on the crate, almost as if it was staring back at him, challenging him to explore its content. Skar touched the Holocron and it lit up in its usual purple glow, but instead of the usual image of his mother lecturing on lightsaber techniques, a selection screen appeared with red letters over a black screen.

Several studying options were listed with everything from knowledge on the Galaxy to 'Jentarana specs.'

"Do you want me to leave?" Shinran asked.

Skar smiled but didn't look over at her. "No, stay. No more secrets. No more discretion."

The past occupant of the Holocron's instructions had been Skar's mother, but now instructions were done with voice-overs to images and pictures of the subject chosen. Skar didn't recognize the voice, but knew it to be human. It spoke in Basic. Skar and Shinran had huddled up on a crate and watched as the Holocron unfolded the history of the Force.

"In the beginning there was life, it was new and it quickly became more than just skin and bones. Unknown energy grew with life, by the beauty and ugliness of life, thriving, growing and evolving. As life blossomed and grew ever more sophisticated, so the energy grew, becoming more defined and distinct. With the growth of life there came the desire to seek knowledge, to learn and understand the origin and meaning of life."

Skar nodded to Shinran who had leaned up against him. "The Jedi were knowledge-seekers."

The Holocron reacted to his words. "Yes, but they were not the only beings who thirsted for knowledge. Life fell upon the more technological workings of the universe, and the energy in life was forgotten. Technology became the wonder of philosophers and the research of scientists. So the Galaxy stood, cruel, and heartless for time unknown," the voice became cold and sad, as if the memory brought pain to it. "Everyone forgot the energy, relying their strength on more useful technology. Instead of the unknown power that was inside the energy."

Skar strained his brows, trying to understand it all. "They forgot the Force? How could they? Weren't there any Jedi?"

Shinran moved tighter to him. "This was many thousands of years ago, Skar. Before the Republic. At the very beginning of time. The Jedi weren't around then, nobody really knew the Force was there."

The Holocron agreed. "Correct. No one knew the Force was there for them to use. Then came the Jedi, sentients, leaving technology for others, while seeking knowledge of the Force. The Jedi studied the Force, discovering its depths and secrets in an attempt to bridge the gap between nature and technology. They worked with the Republic as its guardians and the Galaxy entered a golden age of peace. The Jedi brought tranquillity and peace to the Galaxy, until they were betrayed."

Skar swallowed hard. "The Dark Side."

Again the Holocron agreed. "Not all who were in infancy of the Force were of pure intentions. The Force is neither good or evil, but can be made to serve both sides. Just as the Jedi began to heal the Galaxy's wounds after a thousand generations of neglect, they were destroyed. Just as the Jedi had studied the Force for good, others had studied the Force to serve their evil intentions. The Dark Side of the Force was far more seductive and quick to master. Soon the evil began hunting and killing the Jedi."

Shinran wrenched. "So that's how the Jedi Purge began. Greed."

The voice was silent for a while. "Yes. The Force is the essence of life itself. The Force is peace, harmony and knowledge and those who follow the light use it for these things. Those emotions which enhance its flow are patience, humility and self-sacrifice. The Dark Side, in contrast, is a twisted form, thriving on hate and destruction. Chaos and rage feed and nurture it. The Dark Side is a part of the natural balance of things; it is not inherently evil, but evil lurks in its irrationality, its intolerance, and its lack of control. Its disciples are blinded by greed and lust for power over those weaker than themselves."

Skar shook his head. He already knew that the Emperor had once been a Senator of a planet called Naboo and later had become Supreme Chancellor of the Republic. After the Clone Wars he announced himself as Emperor and the Empire was born. The Jedi were hunted and destroyed.

"Do you want more information on the origin of the Force?" The voice asked.

"No."

Skar grazed the subjects he had to choose from. Lightsaber training could wait, as could more information on the Force and its gifts. Skar knew he should study up on the Galaxy he lived in, his knowledge was limited, as was his knowledge about the Kjoil, except from what he knew from Master Bo-Hi, but the thought of hearing about Skind Kjoil had his interests peaking.

"Skind Kjoil, please."

The Holocron shifted its database and then bloomed into an image of a man unfolding in a green hologram.

"Skind Kjoil accessed."

In the center of the hologram stood his uncle, Kjoil Knight Skind Kjoil. His arms folded perfectly at his sides. Judging from his look Skar guessed Skind was in his mid-twenties, which would make him only a year or two Skar's senior. He had short-cropped black hair, spiked at the front, and yet that boyish haircut somehow managed to make him appear dignified. Skar could easily see why Skind had become such controversy; even at so young an age it was easy to spot the strength that glowed behind those eyes.

Skind wore a sly smile that made him look like a predator, like he was ready to pounce at any moment, a fact underscored by the constant awareness those sharp eyes exuded. As it had with his mother, Skar found it weird to watch data on his uncle when his uncle was no older than himself, and he could see some of her in him. Skar felt more like he was looking at an older brother. Skar also noticed the ceremonial red tattoos on his hands and palms, which matched those on the lightsaber which dangled from Skind's belt. Skar felt a tinge of shame, like he'd stolen something that would only ever look right on someone else.

Shinran's eyes squinted. "He looks like you."

"I guess," Skar frowned, finding it hard to see himself in that strong and wise man before him, "but maybe one day I'll look like him."

The Holocron shifted as it found the proper data. "This is a recording of a meeting between Skind Kjoil and the Jedi Council on Coruscant." The image shifted into a viewscreen which showed him a larger picture. The view was from the side of a room, a room he had never seen before.

It was the Jedi Council chamber. Removed from the surrounding sprawl, the Jedi Temple used to be the home of the Jedi Order on Coruscant. Within one of the outer spires convened the Jedi High Council, the governing body of the order. From its circular Council chamber, a ring of 12 Jedi held court, monitoring galactic events and contemplating the nature of the Force. It was the Council that held final authority on Jedi missions on behalf of the Republic, and on whether prospective candidates were worthy of training. Elsewhere in the temple, training facilities were staffed by revered Jedi Masters, who guided Padawans in their first steps toward Knighthood.

Skar spotted twelve Jedi Masters sitting in a circle of high chairs, all of different species and different persona, behind them the purple sky of Coruscant was filled with bustling ship-activity. Each Master looked to the center of the room where Skind Kjoil stood. It annoyed Skar that there was no info on the Jedi Masters' names.

Skar noticed a dark man, with a full grown beard, standing behind Skind Kjoil. His bald head reflected light from the setting sun outside the chamber's screens. The way he stood behind Skar and the way he carried himself reminded Skar of Master Bo-Hi. No sooner Skar understood that the man standing behind his uncle could only be Sdah Kiil-Da, Skind Kjoil's Master.

Sdah wore a completely black cloak with red symbols over the sleeves and chest. Master Sdah stood outside the circle, watching Skind as the apprentice addressed the Council. This would have to have been just shortly after Skind's rise to Knighthood, because Skind still had the haircut that the Apprentice would have during training, although his spikes were something Skar supposed Skind had chosen for himself.

Skind courted before the Jedi Council and Skar could see the pride in Master Sdah's eyes as Skind bowed before the Council.

One of the Jedi Masters, a dark man whose focused eyes sent shivers through Skar, nodded. "Stand, Skind."

Skind stood, showing a perfect example of posture in front of the Council. A second Jedi Master, a small green-skinned alien with large ears addressed Skind. "Much respect and honor follows the name of Kjoil. Earned you have, that respect." Skar tried to piece the bad grammar together in his head, so they made sense.

Skind smiled stronger, the pride not hidden from his face. "I hope to accomplish more." His uncle's voice sounded soft but determined. Strong, yet careful.

"Wow," Shinran said next to him.

"What?" Skar asked, unable to take his eyes off his uncle.

"He sounds just like you," she whispered.

Skar's heart sank. He found it hard to believe they would sound alike when Skind appeared to be a far more confident type. But in a way he found it flattering. Although he couldn't hear the resemblance he didn't mind knowing he sounded like that strong Jedi hovering in a hologram before him. A man who captivated every part of Skar's attention.

"Strong in you, the Force is. Deep commitment. Use your power wisely you must and pass on what you learn," the Jedi Master said, settling back into his chair.

Skind bowed again. "Thank you, Master."

"May the Force be with you." The dark Jedi Master said. Skind turned to Master Sdah and they left the chamber together. The movie ended and the hologram image of Skind Kjoil appeared again.

"Would you like to see it again?"

Skar sat wondering. Knowing about his family was something he had always wanted, but more questions than answers had come to light so far. Every time he learned about his family, something about the Jedi bothered him. It annoyed him he didn't know the names of all the Jedi Masters on the Council. But ultimately Skar cast the thought away and calmed his mind. Answers will come.

A part of the Jedi was not to worry about the future, but concentrate on the moment. That way you could create the future from the present, by making sure the elements of the future which you wanted to avoid, weren't born in the present. Concerning yourself about the future was futile, there was no way of preparing for such a thing. The only thing you could do is make sure the present is at harmony with the Force, that way the future will be too.

"Would you like to see it again?" The voice repeated.

All the information he gathered was filed in his sub-consciousness and treated as data. Every little detail was fitted into the gaps in his mind, and completed the story. He knew much about the events that had brought him to his fate as a Jedi and his life on Nar Shaddaa, as well as the fate of the Republic before his time. The Emperor's devastation and the evil of the Jedi Purge. All the information completed him and made him see his role more clearly.

He loathed the Empire, despised its very existence and the terror it had wrapped over the Galaxy like a veil of fear. His journey had just become much clearer.

I'm a Jedi, and I am here to help stop the unjust. That is my purpose and my fate.

Shinran was sitting next to him and he noticed she'd been looking at him for some while now.

He blushed. "What?"

She smiled and balanced her head on his shoulder. "I don't know how to say this, but…I like sitting here with you. We're very much alike. We seek the same. Just as confused and eager to find purpose in it all. I feel at home right here." She looked up into his eyes and Skar lost himself in her green eyes. "You bring me comfort."

Skar smiled. "Well….thanks. I'm glad to know that."

She cowered closer to him and closed her eyes. "You're welcome. I thank you. You've made me feel less lost on this ship. And I'm happy you let me be part of this."

Skar watched her fall asleep on his shoulder and he leaned his head back against the crate.

Wow.

This was unexpected. For a reason Skar knew, but wished he didn't, he found himself looking around to check that Kayupa wasn't around. He remembered Kayupa having once said that the little things in life weren't worth in the long run, but sitting there, with Shinran hunched up beside him, smelling her hair, Skar was keen to disagree. The little things were by nature small things, but they were the things you always remembered.

A touch, a taste, the scent of the one you loved, to look into eyes that looked back at you with the same love in them. Something as small and free as a smile could end a lot of sorrow if employed at just the right time.

Skar laid his head down on top of hers and reveled in their closeness, and hoped that feeling would become one of those memories that would linger in the back of his mind forever.

"…any Jedi who is in control of the Force and is in full touch with it, can, when struck by a mortal blow, transfer his soul to the Force. Only if he is ready for the blow, expects it. If he accepts death, then his life energy will leave the physical world and become one with the Force..."

The words only registered partially and although Skar would have sworn he hadn't fallen asleep, anyone walking in would find him lying on his belly with his back to the playing hologram. Abruptly Skar woke and sat up. He shook his head, rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked around. He wasn't surprised, but somewhat disappointed to find that Shinran was gone.

Sitting up he yawned and spotted her sleeping in her own bunk.

"….the Jedi's soul is very special. Its connection with the Force grants it eternal life in the afterlife…."

Skar's mind only half picked up the words, stilling trying to wake up. He yawned again and wondered how long he had been sleeping. He picked on himself for doing so, since what he learned from the Holocron he'd had to pry out of Master Bo-Hi.

Nothing related to Skind's disavowment or his being outcast from the Jedi Order had so far been illustrated. Skar figured whatever it was could wait until morning, a dead man's past wasn't going to change over night. Tomorrow he could look at it with fresh eyes.

"Go to bed."

Skar looked up, slightly startled, to see Master Bo-Hi standing in the darkness to his left.

"Hey…I, ah - "

" - fell asleep?" The Jedi Master grinned. "You're not under any orders to see the whole thing in one night, Skar." Master Bo-Hi looked back at the Holocron's flickering hologram, still playing. His gaze was focused but there was something hiding behind it. Something very worried. "Afterlife. What a contrast in terms."

Skar read a sadness in Master Bo-Hi's voice. "You were watching? Why?" Skar asked, and wondered if the question was stupid.

The Jedi Master cocked his head slightly. "Maybe I'm looking for something too."

The Master's quizzical retort put him on guard. "I still don't have a clue about what you're trying to show me. The thing I asked for. The reason why Kayupa is tense. This 'Jentarana'."

Though his eyes never left the Holocron Skar could see that the mere mention of the word, or name, whatever it was, sent ivy up Master Bo-Hi's spine. "You will."

Skar jumped down from the crate. "What is it, why don't you just tell me?"

Master Bo-Hi's preoccupation slowly faded and he looked up and down Skar's frame. "Replenish yourself."

Skar closed his eyes and reached inside the Force for energy. It came so easily to him that he didn't even have to think about it. Like a surge of adrenaline, of power, all his bodily functions became as fresh as they'd ever been. He lost the slumber in his head and felt like he'd drunk ten cups of caf. The Force had healed his body and brought him to full strength. It was the same technique that Kayupa had used on him on Nar Shaddaa, and Skar found it a very useful asset, because he wanted to help people.

Skar reopened his eyes. "There."

Master Bo-Hi shook his head slowly in amazement. "The Kjoil…they truly were better than us."

"What?"

"You did not even have to think about it. It came on instinct. I must admit, the Kjoil have always fascinated me. They were…so strong. So vibrant."

"Even they must have flaws."

Master Bo-Hi pointed at the Holocron. "True. Speaking of which; you have not learned Skind's fate?"

Skar shook his head. "No."

"Then keep studying." Master Bo-Hi turned and started to fade away into the darkness. "If you keep searching you will find."

"Master?" Skar asked before the Jedi Master could fully disappear.

The Kel Dor stopped and slowly turned to face him, his metallic mask reflecting the green light from the Holocron. "Yes, Skar?" His voice was beaten.

Skar searched for words. "I…keep having these visions of the future. Are they true?"

Master Bo-Hi looked away, and his shoulders sank. After a few seconds of searching for an answer Master Bo-Hi rubbed his scarred cheek and walked further on into the darkness. "You are a servant of the Force, Skar. You are fated as well as you are the master of fate." Master Bo-Hi disappeared fully in the artificial night. "You decide whether they will be true."

Skar didn't sleep all night, with newfound energy he was busy researching the Galaxy and learning more about the Jedi. In fact he'd been able to piece some clues together. The small green alien in the Jedi Council had been called Yoda, and was revered as one of the greatest Jedi ever. Nine hundred years old, Yoda had trained Jedi for eight centuries, and was supposedly very powerful in the Force. In the days of the Republic, Yoda was a respected senior member of the Jedi Council.

The dark man had been Mace Windu and he was the head of the Jedi Council. A respected Jedi and the senior member of the Jedi High Council. His wisdom and experience was legendary, and his words carried great weight.

The other Jedi Masters had been identified too, only there was no important information about them. Skar took special note of one them, Plo Koon, a Kel Dor Jedi Master of the same species as Master Bo-Hi Dzog. Skar doubted there was any kinship between them though, but it crossed his mind that Master Bo-Hi must've known him and made a mental note to ask Master Bo-Hi about it.

As what passed as morning came to the ship, Skar decided that he was stuffed with enough knowledge for now and thrust himself head on in a new lightsaber training session. All the while in the back of his head he knew he lacked information about Skind Kjoil's fate and this Jentarana-thing, but decided he would study that later. Too much information was brewing in his mind and he felt like he suffered a hangover. It was all very confusing and he decided to distance himself.

The living quarters had once again been cleared to make space for the session. Funnily enough, at least to him, the session was not guided by Master Bo-Hi, but Shinran. She'd jumped at the chance to help him and acted as the session-instructor. Master Bo-Hi and Kayupa were busy in the cockpit, and though Skar suspected they were talking about him, he made nothing of it.

The hologram projector in the quarters had been centered in the room and Skar watched as ten identical featureless holograms came to life in front of him. They seemed real enough, except for the green glow and the flicking of a glitch in the hologram system.

Shinran looked at her handheld control-pad in her palms and read aloud; "These red lights on the projectors, um, they track your movement, as well as the movements of your opponents. Your opponents will shoot at you, and the sensors will tell you whether or not you're hit. Seems you can only get hit once, and if you're hit you start over. There will be ten opponents."

Skar's eyes darted to look at her. "You said 'shoot'? Will it hurt?"

Shinran tapped on the pad, bringing up more information. "You'll feel a slight sting, nothing more. Its only there to make you realize you've been hit. And the sting should inspire you to be more careful, if you want to avoid further shots."

He produced a brave smile somehow. "I guess I better be on guard."

She made the final preparations to the simulator, reading more information off the small screen. "You can disable your opponents by cutting through the holograms. And no matter where you're hit, its a loss. There is no room for error. Its perfect or failure."

Skar unclipped his lightsaber and walked into the center of the room. The red lights followed him, and he noticed small beams running over his body, tracking him, transmitting his position to the simulator and to the opponents' systems. Thanks to the beams, the enemy would always know where he was. The room was cast in a green glow as every detail in the room was memorized in the projector's memory. The simulator even added new elements to the quarters, rectangles the size of the already present crates created a complex maze of obstacles, but also served as cover.

Skar looked down at his lightsaber, the red symbols running along the handle, and noticed the two scars on his hands. The one on the left hand, running nicely around the thump, was from Lwen's funeral; his sign of leaving the past behind. The one on his right hand, in the center of the palm, a sign of his trust in the Force. Both combined was a symbol of how he was, how he acted, and what he had to do. One balanced the negativity or the positive of the other.

Balanced, as he should always be. There is no emotion, there is peace.

Skar signaled he was ready, but Shinran looked worried. "What am I forgetting to tell you? Gravity's normal….no, that's not it. I feel like I'm missing something."

Skar shrugged and his lightsaber beamed to life. "I'll learn the hard way. Any last advice?"

Shinran initiated the simulator-program and the ten humanoid-figures, built like normal men with no faces, faced Skar in a flash. Skar liked fighting against holograms rather than real people. Real people or Kayupa. He wasn't a killer, and this way he could achieve results and knowledge without bloodshed. However, as many times as he told himself so, he knew he was training to learn how to keep the bloodshed to a minimum, but nevertheless to shed blood.

"Don't try to impress anyone but yourself."

The simulation started and Skar jumped headfirst into the battle. Fake blasts of laser flashed around him as he dived closer to the enemies and attacked their weak spots. Skar landed in between two holograms, and dispatched them both with a long wide arc. The holograms shimmered as his blade drove through their artificial bodies. Then they vanished.

"Oh, I remember! The enemy has one weakness. They only have ten shots in their charges. After that they have to reload. That's their weakness!"

Skar smiled while dodging back and forth in between laser beams. As soon as he landed a new place, he was forced to leap again. The opponents ran back and forth, following his every move. Skar strained his mind to think of a tactic that would ensure victory, but no openings presented themselves.

Then his luck changed. The ten opponents stopped firing in unison, as they pulled out new charges.

Skar wasted no time. Two opponents on the other side of the room were still reaching for their charges. Skar leapt across the room, dodging shots from the opponents that were done reloading. As he reached the two, he fell to his knees and slid across the floor, swirling the lightsaber above his head, and sliced through the two with several cuts. His slide became a roll and, once safe, he remembered to breathe.

Six to one. Better than before.

The six remaining opponents ganged up on him and fired as a group from the opposite side of the room. Skar dodged the shots that threatened him with ease, while ignoring the wide shots. Skar faced that he couldn't produce a head-on attack on them as one group, but if he could split them up he would have an advantage. Skar leaped even further back and ducked back into safety behind a crate.

There he bided his time.

The holograms came closer and evened out to both sides, three and three, to attack the crate from separate sides. They showed teamwork mentality and Skar was impressed about the intelligence in the simulation. The holograms even sent one forth as a scout to check for him, while the others waited behind with weapons ready.

They were almost on him now.

Skar jumped up and a barrage of laser fire killed the crate. Skar rolled as he came back down and ran left up behind the three unknowing holograms. The projector soon updated them with his position but by then it was too late. Skar let out a war-cry and his blade thrust through the first hologram. Its shape dissolved into millions of tiny stars.

A hologram on the opposite side of the room, in the second group of three, saw him and swirled its gun to meet him. Skar somersaulted left, ending up behind a third hologram where he let the lightsaber fly through the hologram, and onwards through the room and ultimately through the shooter.

Both vanished in a flicker of static energy but not before the blade returned to his hand like a loyal pet.

Skar caught an impression from Shinran who was admiring him from safety by the projector, as she rejoiced in his victory and found amusement in all his jumping around. Skar had no time to share the feeling as an onslaught of fake laser fire came his way. Acting on instinct, and a sense of hope, he held up his blade as safety and two shots pounded against its golden sheen and vanished in a flicker.

Skar shook his head in wonderment.

I blocked the shots.

Skar remembered Master Bo-Hi saying it was possible to do so, but he hadn't thought about it. Infact he'd forgotten it. But still it had flowed to him, like nothing, so simple. So entrusted into his genes and his heritage that it felt natural to him to do it. It wasn't a thought, it was a simple reflex.

My talent is growing very fast. Maybe too fast. Master Bo-Hi says its because of my bloodline.

The knowledge is already there, it just has to be awakened.

Skar advanced on the holograms and came into close quarters with the three of them as one. Skar rolled into their midst and fetched a low blow across of the legs of the nearest. Skar pivoted 180 degrees and his blade deflected a shot from burning through his face.

The hologram shooting was in the unfortunate situation that the shot had been its last, and had to reload. But instead of taking advantage of the weakness, Skar proceeded to the second hologram which must have been an advanced version of the others, since it had chosen to hide behind a crate. Skar wondered if the simulator was smart enough to learn from what it'd seen and then applied the strategy to its systems. Nevertheless Skar liked the challenge.

There is always a way, just need to open my mind.

He dashed towards the crate while the hologram sent wild shots as it ducked up behind the crate. Halfway to the crate Skar changed his dash into a slide on the slippery surface of the floor, shots going over him. Eventually his feet slammed into the crate and Skar kicked out with all his strength. The crate, and the hologram, flew as if launched from a cannon.

Both slammed against the far wall, the crate shattering into millions of flickering lights while the hologram dropped to the floor, momentarily incapacitated.

The only other remaining hologram was finished reloading by that time and had drawn a bead on him. Acting instantly and with Jedi speed, Skar held his lightsaberhilt like a dagger and tossed it. The blade circled itself endlessly as it bore down on the hologram, cleaving him through the center. Skar's hand was still stretched from the toss and in mid-flight the lightsaber reversed direction and swirled right back to his palm.

The last hologram, the one he'd kicked to the wall, was back on his feet and unleashed a battery of laser fire at him. The shots were deflected easily, and Skar's hand moved the blade up and down, sideways, and even upside down to protect him. For many seconds he was satisfied with blocking the shots, amazed at his own accuracy.

As the last shot came, Skar circled around himself and his blade came up like a bat, directing the shot 180 degrees in the other direction, searing through the hologram and ending the session with a loud burst of sparkling energy.

Skar dropped to his knees and heaved for air, but the smile never faded. Shinran came running up to him, and the look of relishment on her face made him feel even better. She looked entranced by him, as if he'd just slain a dragon or something even more dangerous.

I'm to her what Kayupa was to me when he revealed himself as a Jedi. A hero. Skar enjoyed every moment of her enrapture in him.

"Time?"

She looked down at the pad. "6.54. Two minutes shy of Kayupa's best and….well….six and a half minute from beating Master Bo-Hi."

Even knowing that Skar still smiled. Because she wasn't impressed by them, she was impressed by him. Skar ran a sweaty hand through his hair. "I guess I need more practice."

She looked at him, chuckled and wrapped herself around him. "Are you kidding? You were great!"

Like nothing else in the world he wanted to fall apart and fall asleep right there on the floor, his entire body was aching, every muscle in his body screaming for rest. And even so, he still heard himself saying words his body never would've. "Wanna reset the simulator? I got to make a better score than that."

Her smile brightened again. "Of course." Skar could swear he saw her doing a little happy dance as she went back to the simulator and he caught himself staring a little too long at her as she moved her body by the simulator. Skar took pleasure in that little dance she made and was happy to know he was the cause behind it.

"Ready, master Jedi!" she shouted from the projector.

I'm going at it again? I can't beat it again! Well, if I fail I'll just say something clever. Like, "I was distracted by your beauty…"

The ten holograms were resurrected, and if Skar was a betting man even his own credits would have been on them.

I'm so dead.

You don't know the day, till the day ends.

Lwen was always filled with philosophical quotes, some of them with less obvious truth than others . This one turned out to be true. The day after the hologram session Skar huddled up under his sheet when all the others were asleep and watched the Holocron unfold on a small stool next to his bunk.

He'd accessed the 'Jentarana'-file.

The holovid inside it was of a meeting in a place described as the Senate Chamber. It was a vast structure with literally hundreds of ambassadors from different worlds all there to safeguard their respective worlds.

As the holovid played, Skar watched as Skind Kjoil positioned his small hovering platform in the center of the room next to the Supreme Chancellor. Skar took special notice of the kind and respectable looking Chancellor, anger racing through his bowels.

If only they'd known back then.

This holovid was recorded a year after the holo of Skind in the Jedi Council. By now he was an ambassador for his home world Ka'ckak. Skind looked the same, though small fine lines had appeared beneath his eyes, which didn't seem all that joyous anymore.

Skind Kjoil's voice rang loud and strong over the enormous chamber. "I've come forth today to claim a debt. I myself have been subject to many situations where I've had to consider my place in the Republic. I'm Jedi, defender of faith and harbinger of justice to all of your worlds. I've helped each and every one of you in some way." Skind's eyes peered out over the masses and he raised his chin in pride. "Even you who have diverted yourselves from the Jedi, claiming them to be dangerous, must still know that we create results. I've shed much blood in my young years to ensure the future of your families. To ensure the future of this Republic."

Skind's persona was deeply admired by his nephew as he raised his voice like thunder over the senate chamber. "Now, its time to ensure the future safety of my own. The Kjoil have helped you greatly by becoming your servants, your protectors. We are your guardians, we are the reason you can sleep peacefully at night. We've set ourselves aside so that you can feel safe," Skind's voice raised to a menacing bass, "but not anymore!"

The Senate Chamber, although already quiet, sunk into such deep silence that for moments he could infact hear his uncle's breathing. It was so quiet Skar could even hear his own swallowing.

"My home world is under attack by our common enemies because they know we are a danger to them. Ka'ckak is left without a defense and we are vulnerable. Many decades ago the Kjoil gave themselves in your service to have your safety in return."

Skind's glaring gaze swept over the thousands, determined and confident. "We have received no support at all. Ka'ckak has been given technology to build cities that we don't need. All this was given in good faith, but it can never replace the feeling of insecurity. I've already spoken with the other four Epigones that are based on your worlds, and they all agree. These attacks on our home world must cease or the Kjoil will leave the Republic. We've shed our own blood as well as the blood of your enemies whenever you've asked for it. Now we demand justice. We demand what was promised us." Skind raised himself to full height and his voice carried over every soul watching him. "We want a defense system."

The dignified Chancellor stepped forward and spoke softly and warmly. "There is the chance we can assign battleships to your system, old friend," the use of the term 'friend' implied they'd known each other for some time. A fact that bothered Skar. The Chancellor held out his hands. "There is no need for threats of separatism, ambassador."

Skind looked at the old man in a look which made Skar relieved that he'd never had to receive any scolding from his legendary uncle. "I'm not looking for chances, Chancellor. I'm looking for results. And threats are something my people are facing at this very moment." Skind peered back at the masses. "And I know from experience that the moment the Republic met a threat, those battleships would be reassigned to meet that threat, and Ka'ckak would be vulnerable again. No, it simply won't do. Ka'ckak wants a solitude defense system, one made only to protect them." Skind's face contorted in disgust. "Something you will never touch."

Skar could see and hear the senators assembled muttering amongst themselves. Some of them outraged, others nodding in sympathy for Ka'ckak. A pair of clapping hands could be heard amongst them and suddenly more clapping followed. People cheered and stood on their feet to praise Skind.

Applauds came like a tidal wave. In the end everyone was cheering for Skind and Skar could see the satisfaction on his uncle's face.

The Chancellor stepped forward. The supreme ruler of the Republic nodded slowly to the senators, hoping for them to calm down, then he looked at Skind, and Skar thought he spotted a brief look of resentment in the man's eyes. "I believe no voting is necessary, ambassador. While our funds may be a bit lacking as of now I will do whatever I can to see that your wish will be met."

Skind Kjoil bowed to the Supreme Chancellor and then bowed to the senators. Then he turned to the Chancellor and spoke softly. "See that it does."

The holovid ended and Skar was engulfed in the black night of the living quarters. He laid there in awe and respect for his family and his heritage, realizing the immense footsteps he had to walk in. His family had all been strong, respected, revered, seen as people who knew what they were doing. His mother had been firm and direct, able to think for the future even in her own doom.

Skind had the persona of an ambassador, he knew how to get results, very shrewd and clever. A tactician, a cunning warrior. A politician even, with all the bad things that implied.

Skar reached for the Holocron in darkness and his fumbled fingers accessed more data on the subject 'Jentarana' which Skar still didn't know what was. The second holo was again of the Senate. Skind stood before the muttering masses, looking very content and pleased with himself.

The mutterings silenced as Skind's voice echoed over the airways. "My project is finished and is being transported to Ka'ckak at this very moment. For all of you who hoped to see a presentation of it, and even a rundown of its power, I must disappoint you." Skind looked down at his feet as if he'd made a huge mistake. "I'm not proud of it, I hate war as do all my people. Even they are shamed of its existence yet they hope to see it as a sign of hope in the coming years. I've never been a warrior, only a protector, just like the Jedi. And that is what the project stands for. Peace through deterrence."

Skind leaned forward and increased the bass in his voice. "Those of you who wish to test its capabilities or hope to someday have it in your army can squash such thoughts right now. The only chance you'll ever have of seeing it unleash its force, will be if you attack it." Skind leaned back and smiled to all of the senators. "I pray you don't. As a safety measure to ensure this weapon's stance of peace, only I can operate it, and it responds only to me. That was what the project was always designed for. To only serve the people of Ka'ckak."

A look of deep insight came over Skind and he gave a faint smile. "In human and other races there is a wish to name your firstborn. I will never be a father yet I extend my feelings for this project enough that I have given it a name I would have chosen for my firstborn."

Skar sat upright in his bed and felt his heart pounding. He already knew the name before his uncle aired the word. And when his uncle finally did say it, Skar said it like an echo that came twenty years later.

"Jentarana."

The holo ended but no sooner did a image of the Jentarana appear. Skar felt cold and his body began to tremble as he witnessed his uncle's creation. Specs and intimate details about the Jentarana scrolled down the side of the holo while hundreds of cameras showed the Jentarana from every angle possible. Skar read the details and memorized them to the fullest extent of his memory. The Jentarana was equipped with the latest, back then, state of the art in defenses -

Skar reached for his lightsaber as he heard footsteps coming towards his bunk. He couldn't see the person in the glow of the hologram so he reached out with the Force.

"Kayupa?"

The Jedi Knight stepped out of the darkness and hunched down next to Skar's bunk. He looked tired, stress hovered in his squinting eyes. "So now you know."

Skar looked back at the hologram, feeling glaciers avalanching through his mind. "With this…we could turn the tide. We could win the war!"

Kayupa shushed him and seated himself on the bunk. "Be quiet. You'll wake the others."

Skar turned to him. "My uncle made this to only work on Ka'ckak. What was it doing on Nar Shaddaa?"

Kayupa glanced at the hologram and sighed. "When the Purge began, Ka'ckak was obliterated. All the Kjoil died. Your mother knew the secret to the Jentarana and she moved it, and trusted it to someone she knew she could trust."

Skar felt his heart tighten. "Lwen? Lwen knew about this?"

Kayupa shook his head. "No. Master Bo-Hi. Remember, he knew your mother as well."

He felt his hands tighten, amazed at how little he really knew about what he'd gotten involved in. "So Lwen got me, and Master Bo-Hi got the Jentarana. How did she know he could pull it off?"

Kayupa rubbed his eyes. "He…knew about the Purge. Long before any of the others. He could get it to safety without anyone knowing where he would stash it."

Skar looked over at the Jentarana, the ultimate weapon, the tool that might bring hope to the Galaxy again. "We need this, Kayupa. With it we could - "

Kayupa shushed him again. "I know, I know. We could have saved the Rebels back there."

Skar looked at Kayupa. "This is the reason you've been so quiet lately. You knew what we'd left behind."

Kayupa's face drained of blood, and it seemed to take all his strength to finally nod and admit to his inner conflict.

Relieved to finally have that out in the open, he found there was still much that worried him. Skar looked back at the Jentarana. "What was it doing on Nar Shaddaa?"

Kayupa sighed. "Me and Master Bo-Hi were refueling on Corellia when mercenaries ambushed us. They didn't even know what they were stealing. I got a good look at it on Nar Shaddaa, they haven't breached the outer hull. Master Bo-Hi decided it was safe as long as they remained clueless on how to open it."

Skar nodded. "That's why you came to Nar Shaddaa. You were hunting the Rancor League. You were hunting the Jentarana."

Kayupa made a faint smile. "And fate brought us to you, the only Kjoil remaining, and the nephew of the Jentarana's designer." Kayupa scratched his beard. "The Force works in mysterious ways."

Skar pieced another puzzle together in his head. "Master Bo-Hi said something about needing me, and he wasn't talking about being a Jedi, he was talking about something else."

Kayupa made a sharp nod. "The Jentarana is inside a dropship, it can't fly in space, it only works in-atmosphere. But Skind Kjoil was the only one who knew the secret to making it work."

Skar's heart filled with light when he finally understood a big piece of the puzzle. "Master Bo-Hi thinks I can get him that secret so we can use it against the Empire." Skar's glee was short-lived. "But I don't know squat about the Jentarana."

Kayupa padded Skar's knee and rose from the bunk. "I'm going back to bed. Shut the Holocron off before you wake anymore up." Kayupa started fading into the darkness.

"Kayupa, wait! What does this have to do with Skind's disavowment?"

Kayupa kept walking. "Keep studying."

When Kayupa slipped under his sheet, he reached out to Skar with the Force and was reassured that the young Jedi had turned off the Holocron. Kayupa didn't feel right about the whole situation but knew that there was no other way.

Master, he knows about Jentarana and about the secret.

His Master's thoughts streamed through him. Does he know about Skind?

Kayupa closed his eyes, only to find an even thicker darkness inside his own mind. No, Master.

Skar spent the night tossing and turning in his bed, unable to retrieve the knowledge from his brain that was keeping him up. When morning finally did come it came much too soon and Skar realized he hadn't slept all night. There was an urge in him to keep studying but he knew he had to restrict himself or his mind would burst. He already felt like he knew more than he wanted to know. He wished he could somehow process the knowledge through its usual channels and then just dispense with it like everything else he learned.

But the Jentarana kept resurfacing, the implications surrounding it forcing him to constantly treat it with the proper attention.

It bothered him that he didn't know for sure what Master Bo-Hi intended to use the weapon for. The Jedi had already safeguarded it for many years, he could have hidden it somewhere and left it removed from the world forever. But he hadn't, he'd kept it close. He meant to use it. Its original design was based on planetary protection, not for attack. If Master Bo-Hi had plans about using it against the Empire, it could certainly put a dent in their plans.

But that all revolved around an attack, and Jedi did not attack. Even if he decided to turn it over to the Rebellion, the change in hands meant nothing. It would still be tempting the Dark Side. And Skar believed Master Bo-Hi could not have overseen that fact. Whatever it was him and Kayupa had in mind for the weapon it could not be done without a sacrifice of some magnificence.

Skar scratched his stubble, which was becoming a beard, in frustration and prayed for the sweet relief of ignorance.

That morning they all joined at breakfast. The usual dreadful porridge was served to no one's delight and Skar almost bailed out of the meal. He would have if it hadn't meant he would be the only one not present then. He was tired of shifting between enemies every week and found it therapeutic for all of them to eat together.

Master Bo-Hi, the only one not eating, seated to Skar's right, was involved in a deep conversation with Shinran across of him. Skar exchanged small talk with Kayupa across the table about his training but kept an ear close to what Master Bo-Hi was saying on the other side of the table.

Shinran's spoon played with her food. "So, what kind of planet is Nanh, anyway?" she asked. "A pleasant one, I hope."

Master Bo-Hi nodded. "Yes. It is where I trained Kayupa and where we have lived for a long time. Very warm near its equator, which is where we're going to be staying."

"Any cities?"

"None by Nar Shaddaa standards, I'm afraid. The people there aren't particularly advanced, they live in small tribes. They are a simple people. Nomads. Our home is near the peak of one of the highest mountains. From there you have a great view of sunsets and sunrises."

"I love sunsets," she stated with a smile, "well, the ones I've seen in holos anyway."

Master Bo-Hi smiled gently as well, which Skar believed to be connected to the memory of Nanh. "There is an ocean, where you can watch the sunset in even more beauty as it sets. The sky…turns purple and yellow, a truly wondrous sight."

Skar could see Shinran was already filling with excitement. "What about the people? Are there any problems with them?"

Skar could sense something in Kayupa tightening. One of his eyebrows lifted.

Master Bo-Hi went on. "No, they are a peaceful people. But we should stay clear of them as much as possible. They are a private people."

Shinran lifted her spoon. "How did you find this planet?"

The Master leaned forward, his optimistic smile dying within seconds. "I had a vision of the future."

Shinran's jaw stopped chewing instantly when she heard the dread in his voice. Skar turned his attention over to the Jedi Master fully. Not even Kayupa could keep a straight face, though Skar suspected he must have heard the story he was about to hear before.

"The Emperor worked fast, but I saw his rise coming. I saw to it that someone would be able to restore the Jedi Order if anything happened. I took it upon myself to find somewhere the Jedi could survive even from the Empire's mercenaries. I told no one about my vision, not even my apprentices. I disappeared in the Unknown Regions for years and when the Sith returned it only strengthened my fear to act quickly. Shortly after the Battle of Naboo, I vanished. Left no traces other than a warning in the Force." Master Bo-Hi's eyes wandered across the room. "What I knew, I could not share. Not without putting everyone in more jeopardy. If the Emperor knew that I knew, I would have been the first to be killed."

Many things became apparent to Skar in that moment. For one thing he understood the muted sadness the Jedi Master sometimes exhibited, something that felt and looked like disappointment. He understood the seriousness the Master enforced about his training and about Skar's progress. And he could not help but believe that this was the source of all Master Bo-Hi's plans. What he'd explained seemed dishonorable, one might even reason to call it cowardice, it sounded farfetched that there was no other way to help the Jedi.

Maybe Master Bo-Hi had come to think so too over the years, and Skar now understood that the Jedi Master's mission was one of redemption. Not just the return of the Jedi, but to prove to himself that what he had done was right, and that his efforts had not been in vain.

Master Bo-Hi had fought the shame in himself ever since, and Skar gathered that such an effort would strain his reasoning, perhaps even cloud his judgement. Maybe the Jedi Master was ready to sacrifice himself, to use the Jentarana as a weapon and finally restore his pride. Skar shuddered at the thought, but realized a couple of things. Finding a solution to the Jentarana situation could not happen fast enough, and either Master Bo-Hi had great foresight or he was a very good liar.

Shinran had stopped eating. "I'm sorry."

"No, its alright. I do not mind talking about it. I collected as much of Jedi knowledge and artifacts I could, so that I could train any other potentials that I'd might hope to find. When the Jedi Purge began, I knew I had done the right thing. Seeing my vision come alive around me."

Skar began to wonder where the hand-over of the Jentarana fitted into this story. Was he lying or just not saying? Either way he wasn't telling the whole truth. The hand-over of the Jentarana had to have come after his seclusion, so at some point he had to have come back to get it. His mother must have contacted him somehow and told him. But would his mother know where he was? He'd just said that no one knew where he went.

Skar felt mistrust bubbling inside him. And in the one person he would never have suspected.

"Did you find any students?"

Master Bo-Hi looked at his hands. "When I came here to Nanh, the people were tribes of primal humanoids who spoke very little. They called themselves monks. I felt they, like much of Nanh, had a close infancy with the Force so I taught them Basic, and they taught it on to the others. I taught them about the Force, hoping that they would be future Jedi. Hoping to find a strong connection in them. I found one, and I taught him as my apprentice. But the tribesmen already had a faith, a religion. They worship a native animal called a vhronik."

Kayupa flinched opposite of Skar, the sight made a shiver run down Skar's spine. Something about the vhronik obviously worried Kayupa.

"The vhronik is used as a manhood-test. They send their Initiatives into a vhronik cave and if he comes out alive again, he is elected as a Priest, as they call it. When learning about the vhronik I found that they had a very strong connection to the Force, which the Jedi serve. I told them that those who were able to survive a visit to the caves, where actually those who were strongest with the Force. The vhronik doesn't hurt you if you have Jedi potential."

Skar decided to involve himself in the discussion. "What happened to your apprentice?"

Master Bo-Hi didn't move. "He entered the vhronik cave and died."

"But I thought you said he was connected to the Force."

Master Bo-Hi explained. "Everyone is connected to the Force. But my student was too eager. He didn't understand the dangers of challenging the Force. A Jedi doesn't go looking for challenges or trying to prove himself. A Jedi must be at peace within to have the strongest connection to the Force." Master Bo-Hi's eyes glanced at Kayupa for a brief moment. "If you don't serve the Force as it is meant to be served, by following the light, you die." Master Bo-Hi's fleeting eyes were brimming with sadness. "My student failed to see his own failure."

Like the loss of a son, Skar imagined. Skar found himself in a stalemate. He didn't know whether to feel sorry for Master Bo-Hi or not. Kayupa's dancing and nervous eyes told Skar there was more to the story than Master Bo-Hi was letting out. Master Bo-Hi is becoming an enigma.

"It must have been hard to lose someone like that," Shinran said softly, pushing gently at the borders of Master Bo-Hi's sadness.

"Losing that one student was tough, as I expected. But losing all the monks because of the single incident was heartbreaking."

Skar looked at the Master. "They blamed you?"

"They had a right to, but it doesn't make it any easier knowing that. The monks banished me from their temples. Those monks cherish Perfection, which is what they call their touch with the Force. A religion birthed from the vhronik ritual into a larger understanding of that ritual." The Jedi Master looked at Shinran. "Whatever you do, don't use the word 'Force' around them. Its an insult."

Shinran made a cheerful smile. "So in a way you gave them faith? Do they hold a grudge to you?"

Master Bo-Hi shook his head and a brief smile emerged once again. "No, not anymore, thankfully. They've come to forgive me and they tell me about their thoughts on the Perfection and life. You would enjoy meeting them. They have great insight."

Shinran shrugged. "Everything's worth a shot. Sounds like I'm gonna enjoy this Nanh."

Skar retreated from the discussion at breakfast and secluded himself in the cockpit. Stars flashed by outside the canopy too fast for his eyes to follow as he settled down in the captain's chair. Skar positioned his Holocron on the controls and lit it up with a heavy sigh.

"I want to know more about Skind Kjoil."

Again the hologram flickered and shifted as it found the proper data. "Son of Pfan Kjoil and Messi Kjoil, Skind was born on Ka'ckak. When the Gathering occurred his father pronounced Skind as one of the Five Epigones to venture back to Coruscant with the Jedi Council. Skind was tutored by the Jedi Master Sdah Kiil-Da and trained for many years before achieving the level of Jedi Knight."

Skar tapped his finger on the armrest, unrest and slight anger filling his heart. "But Skind was not fully trained by the time of the Gathering, right?" he asked, the irritation poorly hidden from his voice. "He wasn't born with the Force like the true Kjoil."

"Correct. He only became a Knight under the tutorage of Sdah Kiil-Da."

Skar didn't look at the hologram as it played, but kept his eyes on the stars outside. He realized his irritation was more than just feeling betrayed and lied to by everyone around him. The ship was getting to him, he had been cooped up for too long in too little space.

Claustrophobia was starting to affect him and he wondered for how long he would have to travel before breathing fresh air again. Before he could find a private moment for himself and a proper bed. "What was the reason for Sdah Kiil-Da being his Master? Did Sdah choose Skind as his apprentice?"

The hologram flickered. "That information is not available. Sdah Kiil-Da was a Master of the Rhujilan kind - "

Skar's eyes darted to the hologram. "Wait! Back up. Not available? What does that mean?"

The hologram took its time searching its files for clarification. "The details surrounding Sdah Kiil-Da's choice or selection of Skind Kjoil as a Jedi apprentice are not included in this Holocron. Suggest that you try to find the information elsewhere."

Skar sighed, though he already knew that Master Sdah had not chosen Skind as an apprentice. Skind was assigned to Sdah Kiil-Da as an experiment. To make an incredible Jedi. He was just tired of things being held back from him that he wasn't going to take anything for granted.

"Continue."

The hologram complied. "Sdah Kiil-Da was a Master of the Rhujilan kind, an order within the Jedi praised for its difficult training procedures. Skind Kjoil overcame the training without complications. The first to be trained by Sdah Kiil-Da without suffering incident." The hologram shifted again. "Upon completing his training, Skind was assigned momentarily as an ambassador to the Jedi Academy, where he recruited three Jedi students for tutorage. They were; Ryjkuuijuh, from Coruscant. Selia Iver, a Corellian. And Koll Riokon, another Corellian."

That name stirred forgotten thoughts and neglected emotions. He swallowed. "Koll Riokon was my father."

The hologram made the equivalent of a nod. "Koll Riokon was selected as Skind Kjoil's apprentice, while Ryjkuuijuh was assigned to another Master. Selia Iver was not assigned to any Jedi Master."

Skar felt something pulling at the Force, like a nudge on his shoulder. Something that told him there were elements beneath the surface that pulled on greater strings. Tearing at its fabric like a hook. And it had something to do with that last name. "Selia Iver. Tell me more about her."

The hologram quickly found the relevant data. "She choose to refrain from her Jedi heritage and became a civilian."

The sensation grew much stronger and Skar began to feel the cold hand of dread take hold of his guts. He was almost afraid to ask. "What happened to her?"

The hologram informed. "Selia Iver chose not to be a Jedi, because she lacked confidence in her own abilities. Skind Kjoil tried to help her regain strength but his efforts were fruitless. She refused to train. In time she became vulnerable to the Dark Side. Noticed only by a Sith Lord by the name of Darth Sidious. He corrupted her and turned her against the Jedi."

Skar sank back in his seat, baffled. A cold trembling of fear moving over his body. Even the word 'Sith' made him cautious. An order of Force adepts devoted to the Dark Side and determined to destroy the Jedi. Before the battle of Naboo the Sith were long thought extinct, however the mortal enemies of the Jedi and the ones responsible for the current state of the Galaxy had returned in force. The incarnation of the Sith was the result of one rogue Jedi.

Two thousand years ago, this Jedi had come to the understanding that the true power of the Force lay not through passivity. It was believed that only by tapping its Dark Side could its true potential be gained. The Jedi Council at the time balked at this new direction. The Dark Jedi was outcast, but he eventually gained followers to his new order. Awakening beliefs from the dark past, the Sith cult continued to grow. Growing ultimately towards it own end.

With the promise of new powers by tapping into the hateful energies, suspicions rose amongst the Sith's own ranks. Greed spread like a disease between these agents of evil, eating away at their loyalty. It was only a matter of time before the order self-destructed. They were the worshippers of the Dark Side, the dark and perverted side of the Force. They were the exact opposites of the Jedi, and they strove for the exact opposite. Anger, fear and hate were the callings of the Dark Side and the Sith followed these emotions. They courted evil while struggling to destroy everything the Jedi stood for.

One Sith survived. Darth Bane rebuilt the cult, so that there could only be two; a master, and an apprentice. Bane adopted stealth as the fundament of the Sith order. A shadowy master like Darth Sidious was able to keep his presence a secret, even when sharing a world with the Jedi. With the death of Darth Maul at Naboo, the Jedi Council realized that the Sith menace was true. Years would pass before the Sith menace arose once more, a menace that would eventually come to engulf the entire Galaxy. This time in the shape of Darth Tyranus.

"Darth Sidious," Skar said the name with the greatest caution, afraid to awaken sleeping spirits. "Was he ever found?"

The hologram shifted once again, and maybe it was just him but he thought the hologram sounded almost mournful. "To this day no one knows who he actually was, but there is reason to believe he was masterminding the turn of the Republic through Chancellor Palpatine. After the Empire came to life, Sidious was never heard from again."

Skar found those words reassuring. "What happened to Selia?"

"She was taught and trained by another Sith called Darth Tyranus on a planet known as Geonosis. After her training was completed she returned with a vengeance to Coruscant where she confronted Master Sdah Kiil-Da claiming him and Skind were the cause of her turn to the Dark Side."

Skar was about to ask a question when the hologram began to playing a holovid. Through first-person he saw the view of a camera hovering over a rainy mountain top on Coruscant. Skar recognized Skind's Master Sdah Kiil-Da meditating at the edge of the mountain peak, he could also spot city-lights far below the mountain. He deducted that the camera must have been a surveillance-device, used to monitor people who walked in areas of Coruscant where citizens normally didn't tread.

The camera panned around to hover directly over Master Sdah Kiil-Da, zooming in on his closed eyes and peaceful face. Meditation had been passed through generations forever, but Skar couldn't help but feel that Master Sdah looked the spitting image of what Master Bo-Hi looked like when he was meditating.

Beginning to wonder why he was watching what was clearly a private moment for Master Sdah, Skar soon got his answer.

Behind the Master a woman in a dark cloak came running up artificial steps on the slope of the mountain. She reached the top and stood there a few seconds, breathing hard, while the rain washed down between and around the two warriors. Skar saw lightning strike down hard not far from the mountain peak, adding its own sense of danger to the scenario.

On cue Master Sdah Kiil-Da rose and slowly turned to Selia, his cloak soaked and his face dripping with rain. Skar hadn't seen it there before, but the Master's purple lightsaber had already come to life and was humming in his hand. Selia in turn drew her red lightsaber. The camera circled around them a couple of times, clearly distressed by the sight of two people getting ready to attack each other. Skar noticed data running down the left side of the holovid. No doubt the camera was, or had been, reporting this felony to the proper authorities.

The camera changed angle to zoom up on Selia's face. While it carried all the marks of hatred and disgust at the Jedi Master, Skar could still spot an inherent beauty in her. She was young and had dark red hair, and her face was smooth, skin like silk, with two piercing blue eyes. Her lips peeled back in a snarl and she held up her blade pointed at Sdah.

No sooner chaos ensued, and history was made. Skar watched as the Sith and the Jedi Master engaged in gruesome combat, each of them masters in their own field, and both strong in their separate powers.

She came forward in a leaping overhead chop, Sdah batted her blade aside with his, lightsabers cracking and casting sparks over both of them. She recovered from her attack and thrust her blade forth, attempting to skewer him with the tip of her blade. Sdah pivoted to his left, the blade stabbing through thin air behind his back and faced her again.

She danced around him, her blade always moving within her circles of attack and occasionally scoring a hit, but not one that Sdah couldn't counteract or parry.

She was good, but not the best. What made her exceptional was the way she had no difficulty in using her aggressive emotions to fight, very un-Jedi like. She thought with the ferocity of a Kjoil, matching not only in force but also speed. Selia slashed down hard on his left flank, forcing him to dive sideways, letting her fall with the cut, landing on her belly behind him.

Selia brushed herself off as she came back up, slowly, well aware that he hadn't finished her when he could. "Full of pride, aren't you?"

"Not enough to give to you."

Her red blade came alive like a serpent striking from out of nowhere, instantly forcing him to fall into his defensive pattern. Her moves were tight and close but none of them were good enough. Sdah felt it was all too easy, a training droid would have given him more of a challenge.

Selia snarled as she tore away from him. "Curse you!"

Sdah swirled his lightsaber. "Getting tired?"

Selia blew away a strand of sweaty hair from her face. "I'm just getting started."

Sdah nodded, waving her forward. "Let me know when the pain gets too much."

A second hadn't passed since he'd said those words until he regretted them. They were like a switch inside her that opened a floodgate to all the anger, all the pain, all the anguish she had been carrying inside. And in that moment Sdah felt the unmistakable presence of the Dark Side surrounding her, blazing inside her feeding off her hatred.

"Pain?" she growled.

Although she hadn't moved an inch Sdah brought his blade up in a guard, the best he knew. Something bad was about to happen.

"What do you know about pain!"

She came at him strong, fuelling all that rage into her attacks. Sdah started to walk backwards as she struck, trying his best to put as much distance between her and him as possible. But she wouldn't let up. Her blade struck at his feet, scorching the ground as he jumped above it, leaving a terrible scar on the mountain.

Sdah allowed the Force to flow through him, more than he had done before, calling on its every resource now that he needed it. Selia's moves were highly improved by her attachment to the Dark Side, her attacks and cuts precise and professional.

Through the Dark Side she had just skipped what a normal apprentice would spend years learning.

And as they fought at the top of the mountain, Selia's face was flaring with her anger, her eyes like lightning as their blades clashed again and again. Sdah doubted his own abilities to stop her, but not because she was invincible. Because instead of fearing her, he felt sympathy. He wanted to help her through this, wanted to be alive long enough for her to see the stupidity of her actions, wanted to be the catalyst for her redemption.

Selia's sword sparked against his, creating the illusion of lightning of striking down between them, the energy humming through their hands and arms as they battled each other. If anyone was going to take her down, it would have to be him. Sdah felt that if he kept himself alive long enough, if he stuck to blocking, sooner or later she would come to her senses and disengage.

He felt her strengthening with each second her anger was allowed free reign, feeling her quicken inside. Her blade swirling and dancing around them endlessly, clashing against his sometimes more than once per second. Her steps quicker and quicker with every moment, her strength increasing forever as her pain grew with each lunge and each attack.

Master Sdah's skills as a swordsman did not lay dormant as he struggled for his life in a harrowing duel with a former ally and trustee. Selia's whips and slashes began to change form, turning almost clumsy, but they proved chaotic enough that Master Sdah didn't know how to counteract. It was easy to spot a pattern in an opponent, but when even the opponent didn't know what they were gonna do, the chance of victory relied more heavily on staying on your toes.

Selia's brute nature came to an end as Master Sdah felt a surging gap inside her whirlpool. Lunging forward, ducking beneath her spin, Sdah planted a boot on her stomach and kicked her away.

Skar thought he heard a rip break before Selia screamed in agony, using the pain to center her thoughts and fuel her drive. Wiping rain from her face, she came back up, mumbling Dark Side chants as she rose. Skar couldn't hear she was saying, but realized that was probably a good thing.

"Come on, old man," she mocked as Master Sdah began to tremble, his feet unsure and his grip on the lightsaber faltering.

Before him, Skar saw a Jedi Master begin to wilt like a dying flower. Master Sdah looked very disorientated, and eventually his knees buckled and he fell to the ground. Skar had learned that the presence of the Dark Side could easily weaken a Jedi, making him vulnerable.

A look of clouded defeat was on Sdah's face as he looked up at the chanting Selia, but somehow he found the strength to overcome it, though he was still shaking by the time he was standing again.

He raised his purple lightsaber in a last feeble attempt to defend himself. Selia stopped chanting and lifted her lightsaber in a high guard. Then she charged forward like a war-horse and the lightsabers met in brilliance, sparkling against each other. Selia's mind worked quickly and she leaned her blade down taking his with it and then performed a roundhouse kick that sent her muddy boot into the back of his neck. Master Sdah found himself on the muddy ground once again, this time with Selia walking around him with her lightsaber glaring in hand.

"The truth hurts, doesn't it?" her voice felt like razors to his ears. "I've seen the future. Skind's future. What he will do." A dark smile spread across Selia's face. "What he will become."

Master Sdah's face corroded in anguish. "No!"

Selia laughed. "You don't believe me?"

Master Sdah rolled to a stand and his blade thrust against hers and he served strike after strike as he pushed her closer to the edge of the cliff, hoping to kick her off the mountain for good. But Selia seemed to predict this, when her foot suddenly met no purchase.

Skar could clearly hear the pain in Master Sdah's voice.

"I…can't kill you - "

Living up to her legacy as a cunning Sith, Selia used the momentum to her advantage as she bent down in her knees, spun 360 degrees, knocking Master Sdah's feet away beneath him with a boot. Before he'd even fallen on his back, she came up and out of the spin with her lightsaber slicing straight up through his midsection as he was falling. The blade moved through his body, like a warm knife through butter. The Jedi Master began to fade, his body dissolving quicker than the eye could follow. He vanished, becoming one with the Force before his body even touched the ground.

All that remained was his soaked cloak and his lightsaber lying in a rain puddle. Skar watched as Selia picked up the purple lightsaber and fled the scene.

Shaking off the horrific images of what he had just seen, Skar found new questions bubbling inside him. What was the reason that Master Sdah couldn't kill Selia? It was the way of the Force to defeat evil and the Sith were the enemies of the Republic. And what was Selia talking about Skind becoming something else?

Skar shook it off and the Holocron awaited command. "What happened after this? Tell me about what happened after Master Sdah's death."

The hologram accessed the data. "Skind went to face Selia on a planet called Kryuu, with Koll alongside as his apprentice. They defeated the evil in Selia but Koll lost his hand saving Skind's life. Selia saw the wrong of her way and returned to the light but died when she tried to overcome her Master, Darth Tyranus."

Skar nodded. Happy ending after all. "So everything turned out great? But why couldn't Master Sdah kill Selia? What was he talking about when he said - ?"

The hologram interrupted him. "'Great is not an accurate description of the situation. Skind was suffering for a long time afterwards and the Jedi Council disavowed him."

Skar sat forward, his heart suddenly pounding. "Why?"

The hologram shifted to find the data and even those two seconds it took felt like hours to him. "Because when he saved Selia from the Dark Side, he had to use the Dark Side himself."

Skar's heart was about to leap out of his throat. What? That didn't sound like him. "But why would he do that ?"

The hologram shifted. "Selia Iver was Skind Kjoil's lover."

Skar found himself pulled back in the captain's seat. His fingernails had dug themselves into the leathery armrest, his hands lost their circulation and gone pale, shaking in their clutch. Cold sweat was running down his brows, his eyes closed tightly. He felt like he'd just jumped from a cliff and all the way down he'd seen faces and images of people and things that hadn't belonged in his memory. He knew things that he hadn't experienced. And he feared things that could never hurt him. He wanted to talk, he wanted to ask a million questions in one sentence. But nothing came out. His mouth stood open, but breath was all that went past his lips.

Behind him he heard faint footsteps, which quickly turned into running, and then he heard the boots as they skidded to a halt next to him. The gray blur of a person hunched down next to him, and slapped him hard in the face.

It was all it took to pull Skar out of his coma and returned him to his own world, slowly though. His head came up and around to the person who'd slapped him. "Kayupa."

There was a look of genuine worry on the proud Jedi's face. "You okay?

Skar shook his head, trying to rid himself of that uncomfortable feeling, but it didn't work. "Far from it. Just been for a walk down memory lane."

Kayupa helped Skar regain his strength, both physically and mentally. Using the technique that Skar had learned for himself, but was now too weak to administer. He surged the Force through Skar's mind and helped construct the pieces of information in order so Skar could think clearly again.

With a surgeon's precision Kayupa collected the puzzle, and Skar felt himself coming back together. Before thoughts had just been stuck in his head, and he'd been unable to analyze them, like a bad dream they just pounded and kept coming back to haunt him. It felt like a banging headache, and Kayupa had hurried to put Skar on the floor and then worked his magic on him.

Skar felt the healing powers of the Force flowing through him with the gentle flow of water. Forcing himself to do so, Skar quieted his breathing, calming himself down. "Thanks, Kayupa."

Kayupa nodded in reply. "I'm just glad I was nearby."

"So am I, believe me. I've understood why Master Bo-Hi kept it from me," Skar admitted, "I wasn't ready to learn this."

Kayupa looked puzzled, then his face dimmed as he wizened up. With a sour look on his face he hung his head down at the floor. "You studied about Skind Kjoil?"

Skar could only nod.

Kayupa kept his eyes on the metal flooring. "You know, he's still your family no matter what he did. Everyone gets tempted by the Dark Side every once in a while. But Skind was already a shattered man when that happened. He'd suffered even before Selia died."

Skar shrugged. "Guess he did. He lost his Master."

Kayupa nodded. "Right. It was a hard time for him."

Skar didn't care, he didn't think it qualified as an excuse for what he'd done, for how he'd let Skar down. The anger brought out of his disappointment made him snap. "He did more than be tempted by the Dark Side, didn't he? They wouldn't have disavowed him if he'd just felt tempted. He went to the Dark Side, didn't he?"

Kayupa chose to look away.

"Was this before or after he built the Jentarana?"

"After," Kayupa muttered.

Skar looked down at the small Holocron on the controls, such a small device that was supposed to be a source of help, but instead it had only provided confusion and anger. Anger that was still coursing through his veins and shattered everything he had come to take for granted. Everything he thought was true.

Skind Kjoil was supposed to be the greatest Jedi ever, and Skar had hoped to step into those footprints and continue his family's path. But now that path seemed to be filled with warnings for him to turn back, his legacy slowly feeling more like a sham. Skar pounded his fist into the armrest and cursed aloud. His illusion about his uncle had been broken. Skind had not been all he'd thought he'd been. He'd been weak. Not the perfect image of a Kjoil that Skar had envisioned.

Kayupa looked back at him, a question-mark in his eyes. "Did you study it all? Did you hear about…?" Kayupa stopped talking, regretting his words instantly.

Skar's eyes shot to look at Kayupa. "There's more?"

Kayupa nodded.

"What more? He became a Dark Jedi trying to save the woman he loved and they disavowed him? What more could he do?"

Kayupa bit his lip and his head bowed down to the floor. "Skar … Dark Jedi doesn't exactly cover it."

Skar lifted his eyebrows, feeling another impending shock on its way. "What?"

Instead of answering Kayupa turned to the Holocron and said, "access the holovid of Skind Kjoil making a transmission to the Jedi Council."

The Holocron complied. "Skind Kjoil."

At first sight Skar didn't recognize him. His uncle looked like a shadow of the great warrior and servant of the Force that Skar had seen in the first holos, the way he saw him in his mind. Skind had grown a full beard and although it made him seem older and wiser, the unruly state of it showed a Skind who clearly didn't care much about appearances anymore.

His long hair was tussled and unmade. Skar gathered that Skind had neglected personal hygiene completely, when he noticed the yellow teeth that dominated his smile and the sooty texture of his skin. His cloak was different, black as night. Skar tried to read his uncle's eyes but saw only fatigue and evil where he had before seen familiarity and kindness.

A hollow shell of the man that was once seen as the greatest Jedi of all time. The Jedi Council looked as worried as Skar to see the holo-reflection of one of their former loyal agents, as Skar allowed the holo to play.

The dominant Skind raised his chin and smiled demonically to his former Council. "By now you must all know what I have done, and where I'm going. I'll even bet I have some of you quite worried. It's alright. You should be worried. But not by me. I am not doing this to destroy any of you. I'm doing it to rebuild something I lost a long time ago. I did not choose the ways of the Sith to destroy the Republic. I have no hate for the Republic."

Skar felt his heart bleeding. I did not choose the way of the Sith. His entire image of the past was finally and sadly torn apart, scattered at the wind, leaving only a feeling of shame in his chest. He became a Sith Lord. That's what Kayupa meant.

Mace Windu folded his fingers in front of him and looked at Skind with a wary expression. "The Sith are and always will be an enemy to the Republic, Skind. That makes you our enemy."

Skind shook his head lightly. He almost seemed amused. "Hardly. I promise you I will never set foot on Coruscant again. I will not hunt or kill Jedi. I will not hate you. But I will hate," he said, his voice full of detest towards everything, "the life that took Selia from me."

Mace Windu's tone was full of control, seeing through Skind's weaknesses and finding a perch where he could deliver the words Skind needed to hear. "The past cannot be changed."

Skind looked at the dark man with contempt. "It can't? What if I told you I found a way?"

Again Mace Windu objected, desperately trying to break through to some reason in the corrupted Kjoil Knight. "Skind, not even the Force, nor the Dark Side, can turn back time. You have to accept what happened and move on."

Skind looked sad, yet determined. "I'm not trying to bring her back. I'm going to join her."

Skar felt and saw the reaction on the faces of everyone on the Jedi Council. Utter confusion as well as dread and fear washed like a tidal wave of every Jedi present. Even his own.

A fiendish grin spread across Skind's face, his eyes alive with sick hope. "By becoming a Sith, I will have access to its afterlife, where Selia awaits me, when I die."

Mace Windu seemed to understand, yet in his eyes still lingered some confusion. "You're turning to the Dark Side so that you can be with Selia when you die?"

Skind nodded. "I know. It sounds ludicrous. It still is hard for me to comprehend, but nevertheless I know it can be done. The Sith have shown me that it can."

Mace Windu frowned. "Skind, this…is madness."

Skind shook his head again, as if it all made perfect sense to him. "No. Its my choice. Its the way I want things to be."

Mace Windu sat forward on his chair, a brow raised. "Then you will follow your father's path and bring the same smear to your name that he did."

Skar's heart missed a beat. His father's path?

But his thoughts were interrupted when he saw Skind's face contort in anger, his eyes positively alive with hatred. "Silence!" Skind shouted, his voice amplified, a wave of fear moving through each of the Jedi Masters, even the stronger ones. "My father is no more! And my mother is dead as well, killed by a disease she had been hiding for long." Skind frowned to himself. "My father said it was her heart, but I know it was disgrace that killed her. The disgust of knowing what her husband, my father, really was. A Sith."

Skar couldn't believe what he was hearing. Not only his uncle had been a Sith, but his uncle's father as well.

Mace Windu showed some empathy. "How did your father die, Skind?"

Skind's cackle slowly filled the room. "Let's just say I did what you would have wanted me to do, had I still been a Jedi. I defeated the darkness within him."

Along the whole discussion Skar had noticed how the Jedi Master Yoda had watched the event without saying anything. He listened and understood. He didn't speak his mind until the time came where no one would say the words he felt must be said. That time had come.

"With the darkness inside you?"

Skind bowed his head to his Master, it seemed Skind still held some respect for the Jedi Master Yoda, though Skar didn't know anything about what bond they held. "Master, what matters is that he no longer breathes."

Mace Windu leaned forward, elbows on kneecaps, palms on his brows, his eyes closed and stretched out to the Force for aid in helping Skind back to the light. "Skind, your name, the Kjoil, holds so much respect and weight among the Jedi. Your name is the pinnacle of strength and discipline. The Kjoil are perhaps the most powerful Jedi there ever were. The Kjoil race wields the Force with an ability we will never have. You are our strongest ally;" he looked up with a plea in his eyes, "don't become our worst enemy."

Skind shun the remark away with a frown. "As I have already stated, I am not an enemy. You need not fear me. And my name was tainted ever since my father neglected it. The Kjoil are in shame. And we cannot be redeemed."

"You're becoming your father," Mace Windu pleaded.

Skind smiled again, though it was a smile of sympathy at how poorly the Jedi tried to manipulate his thoughts. How amateur-like they tried to play with his mind. "Don't test me and don't insult me. My father and I were two very different people."

The Jedi Council looked to each other for comfort, but it seemed they were all at a loss. Nothing they had said had helped Skind see sense. Skar felt an glowing intimate pride in seeing his uncle defy the Jedi. He had tried to choose his own path and work on his own to obtain his goal.

Like a bitter aftertaste Skar felt embarrasment in that pride. What his uncle was doing was in fact ludicrous and was not of the Jedi. It was…wrong.

Skind looked to Yoda and Skar saw the love in his uncle's eyes. And he heard the hate had disappeared from his voice when he addressed Yoda. "You still have one Kjoil among you whose honor is intact. Tell my sister that I will meet her on Kryuu. There will I reach my final destiny."

Mace Windu's eyes snapped open. "You must understand that we will try to stop you."

Skind nodded. "As I said I am no enemy. But I will not bow down, and I will not give up. Nothing will stand in my way of being with the one I love. You will not get in my way, and if you do - " The hologram inside the Jedi Council began to fade, shimmering and fluttering, before fading into a final burst of Skind's red tattooed finger pointing at the Jedi Council. " - then I hope the Republic can do with out the Jedi Council."

The cockpit remained silent as that last hologram flickered out and Skar sat next to Kayupa, disgust crawling under his skin.

Kayupa was the first to sigh. "Well, now you know. How does it feel?"

Skar drew in a breath, ready to snarl and curse the world to hell. "Well, where do I begin? I find out that the famous and glorious family of Jedi that I came from, were actually Sith and they probably helped bring down what I'm trying to save. My uncle created a weapon of destruction -"

"Defense, Skar."

"- Alright, defense," Skar said with great sarcasm, his anger building with each second. "That weapon is now somehow in the hands of mercenaries, and I'm somehow the key to making it work. And my uncle also decided to take a huge career change when he became a Sith Lord because of a woman!"

Skar's rage fed through him subconsciously, building up a wall of defense around him. Kayupa was pushed back by it, hitting his head on the wall in the small cockpit and releasing a yelp of pain followed by some serious cursing.

Skar reached for Kayupa to help him.

Kayupa pushed him back. "Don't touch me!"

"I'm sorry!"

Kayupa raised himself off the floor, holding a hand caked with blood to the back of his head. "Shut up! Damn it, this is just what I needed." Kayupa started walking out of the cockpit.

Skar got up and followed Kayupa wanting to help, but Kayupa wouldn't have it. He held out his palm to prevent Skar from reaching him.

"I don't understand…what happened?"

Kayupa looked at him and his lips peeled back. "Its called the Dark Side, Skar!"

"But I didn't…?"

"Maybe now you'll learn not to judge so quickly. Your uncle did what he did for something he believed in, and you despised him. Look at yourself, you just threw me across the room. Because you couldn't control yourself!" Kayupa ached in pain and supported himself against the wall. "Maybe now you'll see how easy it is to turn to the darkness."

Skar held out his hands but the effort was useless. "It was a mistake - "

"Shut up! At least Skind could stand by his actions." Kayupa regarded him coldly and raised a finger and stabbed it into Skar's chest, his voice filled with an anger Skar had never thought to hear aimed at him. "And just to let you know, from the very first time I heard the story of the great Skind Kjoil, who turned to the Dark Side because he was in love, I admired him. I agreed with him! There are things that matter more than the Force, even for a Jedi! Even this useless crusade you've joined."

Skar began to feel less pity for Kayupa. "You - "

But Kayupa was already going and Skar was alone.

Behind him the Holocron was still humming. "Do you wish to see the final recording of Skind Kjoil?"

Skar sighed in defeat. "Will there by any more shocking news?"

"No."

Somehow Skar didn't trust the Holocron to be determine what accounted as shocking. "Right, then play," he said, his hands in the air.

This time there was no image, just an audio recording of a transmission from Skind Kjoil. When Skind first spoke, addressing himself, his voice was sad, sobbing. There was a great background of static, crackles and bursts of electricity.

Skar sat down against the wall, hands covering his eyes, and listened to the transmission his uncle had made mere hours before his death.

"My home…was the subject of war. The Jedi fought against the evil as soldiers and tried effortlessly to preserve the peace of our world, with their own blood. I, on the other hand, was attached to a special unit. The project was for me to build a new kind of defense for my home planet. A weapon that would signify peace rather than death. I was involved with the design and helped build it. I felt that the only way I could keep the weapon from falling into and being employed by enemy hands was to give it emotions, so that it would separate wrong from right. If the enemy should take possession of it, the weapon would not be used against the Republic forces. And it would never attack in evil."

Skar began crying, his uncle's soft sad voice poked at feelings inside him Skar didn't know he had. This was his uncle and he was saying goodbye to the world. Off to be with the woman he loved in the ultimate death wish.

"I was to select someone from which the weapon's mind, programmed into a Holocron, would be molded after. In a moment of pure self-confidence I chose myself as the subject. I didn't know if I could trust anyone else, but I knew I could trust myself. I made a Holocron and taught it everything I knew and in the end I allowed part of my mind, personality and emotion to be the structure of the weapon's mind. The goal was an honest one; prevent evil and bring peace back to the homes of my race and family. I never saw then how it could come back to haunt me but it did. I've only just now, at the moment of my destiny, realized that the weapon does have one weakness, or more correctly put, I have a weakness."

Skar thought of Kayupa too and began crying heavier. What was he doing? What heritage had the gods bestowed upon him? It wasn't glorious, it was a curse.

I'm wrong for this.

"At the time I designed and constructed the Jentarana, I was in love and that will no doubt lead to my demise soon." Skind's voice buckled under the emotional duress. Skind Kjoil, the Galaxy's greatest warrior, an inspiration to many, was crying. "But that's not important now, I send this for those who will live on, my sister, Koll and the rest of the Galaxy. If the weapon is convinced in some way that the woman I loved was nearby, it would do anything to reach her. It doesn't know, like I do, that she is dead. I never thought to update the memory of the weapon." Silence built over the surrounding static for a few seconds. "Well, night is almost upon me. I can see the moon from here. Death smiles at me. Soon my sister will come to visit me. I wish you well, sister. My spirit will always live on in you and Koll," Skind let out his breath, the relief in his voice clearly audible," "and in your son."

Skar made a silent smile to himself. His uncle had indeed been powerful. At the moment he'd sent this Sasa probably didn't even know herself that she was carrying a child.

"I love you..."

When he was done collecting his thoughts around this new information, Skar took quiet steps as he went down to the living quarters. Kayupa had gone to bed and had a bandage around his head. Skar felt sorry for him and ashamed by himself. He'd lost control so easily and over what? Over something that happened many years ago. Something unchangeable. He realized he still had a lot to learn about controlling his emotions. He just wished he could have found out another way. It wasn't Kayupa's fault, he wasn't to blame and shouldn't have suffered for it.

Much to his surprise he found Shinran was still awake, sitting at their table, staring at a small datapad. She looked busy and very consumed by what she was doing, so Skar didn't want to disturb her. Nevertheless he didn't want to be alone now. He had felt Shinran's presence now and it pulled him to her.

He decided to see what she was up to. But the moment he started walking towards her, he wished he hadn't. He felt like he was violating her space, that he was intruding in what was clearly a getaway for her. But as he was about to turn away, leaving her to herself, he saw her smile.

"Stay."

Skar turned back to her. "You don't want to be alone? I don't want to disturb you."

She pulled a strand of blond hair away from her face, smiling invitingly. "You're not disturbing me."

Skar held out his hands. "So you don't want to be alone?"

Leaning back with her arms crossed over her chest, Shinran smiled at what was clearly a private joke to her. "I've been alone all my life, Skar. Grace my existence with a few minutes of your time and company."

Skar smiled, which came off as hard. "Might as well, I won't be sleeping for some time."

"More bad news?"

Skar sat down across from her and nodded.

She put away her datapad. "Starting to have second thoughts?"

His head came up to look at her but then looked towards Kayupa in his bunk. He shook his head slowly. "No. I've come too far."

She leaned forward. "Maybe too far."

"This isn't a race," he replied seriously.

"You sure?" she asked kindly. "Seems to me you're running as fast as you can to get to the finish line, you just forgot that others were running behind you."

Skar wanted to object to her point of view, but found he couldn't. "Its only in the last couple of days that I even knew they were there," he scratched his chin, feeling the hairs there scratch against his nails. "Sometimes I'm not sure I'm running in the right direction. I can't even see the finish line." He realized that maybe a part of him was having second thoughts about his future. He had doubts that he would be able to make up for the tragedies in his family, or that he wouldn't someday fall for the same traps. The same weakness. "Maybe its time for a timeout."

She chuckled suddenly and held her hand to cover her mouth so she wouldn't laugh anymore. He looked over at her, finding it strange but also endearing she was able to laugh in the middle of his distress.

"What? What did I say?"

She hugged herself and smiled at him warmly. "I just realized that if you ever decide to quit the Jedi business, you could write a book on analogies. You have a knack for it."

He softened inside and then chuckled. "Hey, you got me started."

She pointed a finger at him. "Verbal contract right there. That means royalties go to me, buster."

"So that's your game?" he grinned. "Set a guy up and then clean him out?"

She shrugged lightly. "I picked a lot of pockets while living on the streets. Its in my instincts to go for the quick credit."

"Well, don't worry," he said, continuing the joke, "if I ever write a book I'll be sure to include you in the credit."

"If you don't, I'll have to sue."

He raised an eyebrow. "Got a lawyer already, do you?"

"You bet."

Skar sighed. "I think I'll stick to the Jedi business."

They both laughed and Skar's heart warmed to see her so relaxed for a change. It did wonders for her. Although he had promised himself not to invade her emotions, her joy could not be missed.

"Thanks," she said and smiled. "Its been a long time since I've laughed so honestly."

Skar cocked a smile. "Well if my purpose here in life is to make people laugh, so be it."

She caught the double sense in that and frowned. "Somehow I don't see your purpose in life being a comedian."

He scoffed. My purpose in life? Can't we choose an easier subject? Skar pretended to be insulted. "What? I'm not funny?"

The conversation took a more serious turn as Shinran combed her hair back from her face with her fingers. "I've never heard of a Jedi comedian."

Skar snorted. "Well, I'm not a Jedi yet."

"No, not yet. But you will be."

Skar looked around the room, and then looked at the pad she had been busy staring at. He could see an image on the screen. "What's that?"

She looked up at him, a keen interest in her eye. "A picture. A painting. Bo-Hi told me I might like it."

"What does it mean?"

"Mean?"

"Yeah," he said, "isn't art supposed to mean things?"

"Art's subjective," she handed the pad over to him, "so I guess it would be better to ask what does it mean to you?"

Skar looked it over, it was a crude painting, with not much in explanation. At first Skar felt nothing when seeing the painting, possible a work of art in some parts of the Galaxy but to him it was just an image on a screen.

Skar felt he owed it a second look. "Don't you think the artist that drew it, had some purpose in making it?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Maybe the artist made a work that had no meaning, only so people could stare at it, pondering at its purpose, and find their own personal sense of its purpose," she hugged herself and had a cute smile on her lips, "just like life."

Skar's head came up and felt utterly blank.

Shinran snickered at his expression. "We don't know the meaning of life, or why it was created, but that only makes us work harder at trying to grasp its point. We study, we read, we learn, and we suffer, analyzing everything, desperately clinging to our wish to find what we are supposed to do with our lives and our time. This image that Bo-Hi gave me to look at, seems to have the same purpose. Only the artist who made it knew its meaning, and he never revealed it."

Skar tilted his head, giving the image another look. "In comparison, then only the creator of life would know its purpose."

Shinran nodded. "And the purpose was never revealed and we will never know."

"You said that the ones who stared at the work for a long time, would find their own personal idea of its purpose. Maybe life is that way too. That's what Kayupa told me once. We find its purpose, but it doesn't have to be the same of everybody else's." Skar slid the pad across the table to her.

Shinran ran her fingers over the image, her eyes crossed him in a shy but interested gaze. "So you don't think either that life has one all-empowering purpose? One for us all."

Skar watched her fingers move, finding small enjoyment in looking the twitches and knowing he was making her nervous, but not in a bad sense. Like him she was experiencing the kind of subtle edginess that came with talking to someone you fancied, the small flutter of the heart. Skar shook his head. He hadn't been aware he felt that way until now, he had felt tremors inside in the past when she was near, but he hadn't actually acknowledged it as infatuation.

"I don't have the answer. But I know that my path in life is gonna be much different from others."

She blinked. "I don't think that two people can have the exact same purpose in life, either."

Skar felt like she was baiting him. "That doesn't mean two people can't work together to find their separate goals. Maybe one person's destiny cannot be reached if he or she doesn't cooperate with the right person?"

Shinran looked at the image again, purposely avoiding meeting his eyes. "So one person's purpose in life could be dependant on another?"

Skar nodded again, secure in his belief.

"So two people can be each other's destiny?" Shinran's eyes glanced at him but only briefly. He noticed the slight blush of her cheek. "Are we talking about love now?"

Skar was taken back by her words, stunned by her cut to the core. His own cheeks started to feel warm and he stuttered when he remembered how to talk. "N-no, I'm saying…I guess…that some people are meant to work together as a team to function. Like the Jedi. Maybe one person's faults are weighed by the other's qualities. People working together, imperfect as one, but great as a team."

Skar could see by Shinran's impressed look that he had surprised her.

Skar went on. "Like the Jedi, we need to stand together as one unit guided by the Force. We can't survive on our own, we need teachers and guides. The Force could be that other person that makes us, despite our flaws, perfect."

Shinran's joy diminished and she found some of her sadness again. And he realized he'd been a fool. Those weren't the words she had been hoping for. He wished he could take it back and say something to move on the feeling that caused the tension between them. Although the tension was delightful in its own, the thrill of chasing, parts of him really wanted to move forward and find out where this thing between them was going.

Skar smiled inwardly as he found he hadn't thought about Skind or Kayupa since he'd started talking to her and he loved that about her. She could always take his mind off whatever was bothering him and make him see a better world.

She was that better world.

Shinran stared at the image. "I don't think…I'll ever become happy. I have too much doubt concerning the outside world to ever find peace. I think too much, analyze too much, can't seem to just stand still and observe. I never relax and take pleasure in what is close. I don't know what could ever make me searched for several heartbeats for words that would spring hope to her heart. "I think you will someday."

Her green eyes flashed that certain unexplainable look that always made his heart flutter. "Thank you, Skar. I enjoyed our talk. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Shinran left him sitting at the table.

The pad still laid at his fingers. He slowly shook his head, not knowing if he had helped. He only hoped he didn't make things worse for her. He palmed the pad again; the work of art without meaning, but still made sense through personal comparison.

It has only the sense that you give it from your own point of view. Shinran doesn't even have a point of view. She has so many things that need to be dealt with but she can't make the first step to figure out how to work through them.

He couldn't help but scowl at the image in simple irritation. "Why is no one on my side?" he asked no one, before heading off to bed himself.