A/N: I found it a good idea to delve deeper into the main character's personal lives a little. This chapter surrounds Paige and her life.

Paige sank deeply into her bed, pulling the covers close to her petite body.

I don't know what to think anymore. Ellie and I kissed. I can't tell anyone, it'll ruin my reputation. Then again, that's what I was trying to do, right? Be me? Well maybe this IS me. Gay all the way! Spinner and I didn't break up that long ago. I was so afraid; I didn't want things to get too serious. I guess in some way I'm still terrified after what Dean did to me. Maybe it's that. It's Dean's fault I'm afraid of guys.

She squeezed her eyes shut, grabbing her remote and turning on the stereo. She turned it up quite loudly, burrowing down under the sheets of her bed. She was very warm, yet cold all at the same time. Paige had always felt so alone in this world, and no one had ever taken the time to notice. Though Paige didn't know her well, she was starting to feel a connecting with Ellie. It might have been silly but it was something. Ellie made her want to be the best she could be.

Reluctantly, Paige got up out of bed, walking groggily into her older brother's room. Hockey memorabilia lined the walls. Along with posters of half naked guys. She smiled, coming up behind Dylan and giving him a huge hug.

"Hey Dyl...I need to talk to you about something." When he saw her serious face, he got worried. Sitting her down beside him, Dylan smiled.
"Go ahead, I'm listening." He looked at her, eyes flickering encouragingly.

"This is going to sound really weird. All these years, I haven't been who I want to. I don't want to be beautiful and popular. Popular doesn't mean well liked, Dylan. I'm sick of being mean to people and I'm sick of dating guys," She paused, her voice breaking a little. "A huge piece of me died that night with Dean. A piece I'll never get back. A new piece came in its place, and this piece likes Ellie Nash." She confessed, taking her brother's hand and squeezing it as hard as she could.

He planted a kiss on her forehead. "Paige, all I can say is..I knew you weren't happy. You're my sister and I'm not blind. Your eyes, they tell all," He looked into her eyes for a moment before continuing. "You like Ellie. Chances are if you like her, there is reasonable chances of her liking you too."

Paige nodded, putting her arms around her brother. "She does. But Dylan it's so confusing. I mean mom and dad. What will they say when they find out both of their kids are gay?" She asked, laughing a little.

Dylan shrugged. "It's genetic. It's not your fault."

Paige smiled, tears in her eyes. "Thanks Dylan, I needed that." She sniffled, walking out of his room with greater confidence.

On the outside, Ellie and I are two absolutely different people. I wear the big labels, the new fashions. Ellie wears whatever she feels like wearing that day. My makeup is precise and colorful; Ellie's is dark and meaningful. We are so different, yet so the same. She is what I wish to be. She is so strong, so unbelievably strong. I mean here I am, it's been over a year since my rape, and I'm still dwelling on it. Ellie on the other hand, her cutting, she's completely stopped. Or at least that I know of. I don't know much of anything about Ellie's home life, but it's definitely harder than mine is. Heck, I'm rich and my parents are wonderful. Being rich isn't everything. Ellie is rich with love, and I want to be a part of her world. I HAVE to. It doesn't make any sense. That doesn't matter to me. What I feel is what I am. This is what I have to do.

Sighing nervously, Paige picked up the telephone and dialed Ellie's number.
"Hello?" the girl's small voice answered.

Paige's face softened, as she became less nervous. But she forgot to say anything.
"Hello?" the girl offered again.
"Oh! Hello! Ellie, this is Paige. We need to talk. ASAP."

She heard a pause on the other end of the phone, a loud crashing noise, and some gross retching noises.

"Um. I can't today. Tomorrow, okay? I'll meet you at your house at 2 o'clock," Ellie paused, and there were more mysterious noises. "I have to go now. Thanks for calling."

There was dead silence on the other end, just a dial tone.
Paige hung up, shaking her head sadly. She returned to her place in the bed, trying to get in exactly the right spot again.

She was starting to put some of the puzzle together. Someone was throwing up and breaking things. That probably meant drunkenness. Who would have been drunk at Ellie's house? Sean maybe? Paige shook that thought off eagerly, mind racing. Ellie's mom. That was it. That was the reason why Ellie had started cutting in the first place. Her mom was some sort of alcoholic? Apparently the girl felt the need to take care of her mother. Paige's heart yearned to hold Ellie in her arms, and whisper in her ear that it was all going to be okay.
She closed her eyes, the moment she lost her virginity flashing through her mind. Shuddering, she clutched the covers to her as if they could protect her from unwanted memories. She jumped out of her skin when she heard the phone ring.

"Michalchuk residence. Paige speaking."

"Miss Michalchuk, this is the Degrassi courthouse. We are calling to inform you of a hearing you need to attend on Friday July 15th. Be there by 6 o'clock sharp."

"Thank you." Paige said, shaking. She hung up the phone and sprawled out on her bed hopelessly. She needed Ellie, and she needed Ellie NOW.