Disclaimer: Don't own holes charectors.

Please check out my other story "Squid's Secret," too.

Chapter 9

Squid's P.O.V

I had that nightmare again… I shouldn't be surprised really, I have it near enough every night. It's always the same thing, haunting memories, I wish they'd just go away. Sometimes I feel like ending it all, but something inside of me always seems to stop me. I always wake up crying when I have that nightmare. I'm not even aware that I am crying aloud. I always feel foolish afterwards, I mean it's only a nightmare. It' s not like she can hurt me anymore, not whilst I'm at Camp Green Lake anyway.

Baby caught me crying this time, that's what I feared the most. If she was like any other girl that would put her off me good and proper. But it didn't… that's because she's not like other girls, she's different. Different, in a good way.

I wasn't aware that she had caught me crying to begin with, probably because I was crying into my pillow. But after a while I felt someone sit down on my bed and I sort of panicked and tried to stop crying. I didn't even think it was Baby at first, I thought that it was perhaps one of the guys. But then I heard her voice. She asked me if I was alright. I was annoyed that she had caught me crying, frightened that she wouldn't like me at all anymore. I was going to tell her what was wrong but something held me back. I didn't want to tell her, just yet. I just said I was fine, which I guess was kind of stupid seeing as she had already heard me crying.

I could hear her saying that it was obvious I am not fine. I didn't know what to say to this so I just kept quiet. She told me to tell her what's wrong.

I got up from my pillow and looked her. She had such a sympathetic look on her face and she looked really pretty in her nightie and with her long hair falling down past her shoulders, like an angel. I gave in and said that I'd had a nightmare.

She wanted me to tell her what it was about.

I didn't want to talk about it, I had to look away from her, the more I looked at her, the more I had this urge to tell her everything, I didn't think I was ready. I mean, I barely know her, it FEELS as though I've known her all my life but in reality she is still a stranger.

She told me that I'd feel better if I told her what was wrong.

I wouldn't, telling her can't make it better.

But I chose to tell her anyway, I felt that I could trust her. She wouldn't make fun of me or laugh at me, she didn't seem like that type of person.

Once I started telling her I couldn't stop. I had kept all these feelings cooped up inside me all my life, and it felt good, in a twisted sort of way, to let them all out.

She looked so sorry for me, I didn't want her to feel sorry for me.

She said that I've made her life better and that I'm so special to her. If she really meant this then… she is the only person who has truly cared about me in that way. I never thought I could make anyone's life better, only worse… according to my mom. And I'm special to her! I'm not special! I'm a waste of space… according to my mom.

I feared she was just saying all this because she felt sorry for me. Not many people feel sorry for me, but I hate it when they do. It makes me feel like I am too weak to get on with life. But I can, and I do… She reassured me though, slightly, she said that she really does care about me. I don't know why a smart, pretty girl like her would care about me… I'm confused.

She wiped away my tears, I hadn't even realised I was still crying. After this I found myself talking about my dad, it hurt to talk about him, it hurts to even THINK about him. It still puzzles me, was it my fault he left? Sometimes I really think it was. I told Baby this and she told me not to blame myself about what I've been through, and that I don't deserve it and that I'm a wonderful person.

I didn't really believe her because I weren't used to somebody being so nice to me. It felt really odd. And anyway I can't help BUT blame myself over what I've been through. When you always get told your to blame, you begin to believe it. I've always thought that I've deserved it, My punishment for being such a horrible person. I can't help but be horrible sometimes though. It's like all the anger I'm feeling in my heart rules my head and I say things I don't mean to say. I always regret it afterwards though.

I said something about not wanting love to destroy me like it did my mum and dad (that's something I've always strongly believed in, I've always thought I'd never fall in love) then Baby said that I should let her love me and that she wouldn't let it destroy me.

My heart well and truly came to a halt at this, my belly felt like it was doing somersaults. I was thinking, does this mean what I think it means. I took a deep breath and asked the question that I've always wanted to ask her but just hadn't had the guts to ask.

Do you love me……………

Baby knew the answer, she just couldn't bring herself round to saying it. She wanted to, she REALLY wanted to. But her voice box just didn't seem to be working. She looked at him, his tear- filled brown eyes were watching her eagerly, waiting for a response. She suddenly felt guilty, what about Piglet? Friendship does count more, doesn't it. She made a decision.

"You can always count on my love for ever more," she said slowly.

She got up and walked quickly but quietly back to the girls section of the tent…

Squid's P.O.V

"You can always count on my love for ever more…."

Her voice keeps echoing in my head. Does that mean she loves me? I'm pretty sure it does, even though I'm still finding it hard to believe. I can't sleep now, which is a relief, I guess, I don't want any more nightmares. She told me she loves me… but why aren't I happy. There is just something odd about what just happened. Something not right, I just can't put my finger on it.

I guess I feel like this because she didn't wait for a reply. She didn't wait to see if I love her too. She just went. It's not how I pictured it in my head, I used to think about what I'd like to happen with Baby. I imagined she'd say she loves me and I'd say I love her too, Then we'd kiss. But we didn't kiss. I wish we did.

She just left….

That's what I don't understand.

She probably went because she didn't mean what she said, yeah, that's probably why. She was only saying what I wanted to hear…. Because she felt sorry for me.

How could I kid myself, even for one second, that she actually LOVES me. I feel so stupid, I'm such a fool…. My heart feels deflated…

Baby wrapped her covers tightly around her. It wasn't cold, it was actually a little too warm, it's just she found herself shivering.

She felt really light- headed. Unable to comprehend what had just happened with Squid. She wondered what he was thinking.
She wondered what he'd do in the morning… She hoped he wouldn't do anything. She needed to brake it softly to Piglet that she does have feelings for Squid too. She didn't want to have to tell Piglet though- Piglet has a pretty good left hook.

Was there anyway she could let Piglet know without hurting Piglets feelings. Was there an easy way out that didn't involve a black eye?

Yeah there is……….

CAVEMAN!

Baby sat upright in bed. If she could just somehow manage to set Caveman and Piglet up then Piglet wouldn't care if Baby likes Squid. She'd be too busy with Caveman.

But does she like Caveman?

Piglet hadn't really said.

At least she hadn't said anything bad about him.

If she didn't like him then she would of made it pretty clear.

Baby lay back down, a plan formulating in her mind…