Once Upon a Razorblade

A Yu Yu Hakusho Fanfiction

By: fluorescentpinkfairies

Disclaimer: I own no part of Yu Yu Hakusho.

Chapter Rated: PG-13

Part One: Eternally Asking Why

Chapter Two: Relief

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Faint wisps of blood red hair brush my cheeks as I tilt my head down. A single finger traces the frighteningly pale underside of my arm. I am unscarred and unscathed, even though this body of mine has seen so, so many battles and wounds and life-threatening injuries.

Or rather, I should say that I am physically unscarred.

I wonder sometimes, how I manage to keep sane—or if I am even sane, for that matter. I wonder if all of this has just been some sort of strange delusion.

I wonder what reality is.

The blade sweeps swiftly across my previously unscarred skin. It takes a moment before the thin line of blood rises to the surface.

Drop by drop, the red substance called blood falls into the sink. You really must wonder why something so vivid, so beautiful, has such a bad connotation.

With each plink, it seems that a tiny ounce of my internal pain goes with it.

How did I sink into this? How is it that I only gain relief from this?

I don't know.

The razor between my fingers is like a lifeline now. I find myself fingering it in my pocket at odd moments. I find myself in the school bathroom, taking a quick swipe with it before I leave. And I find myself worried that someone will find it and throw it away.

It is like a dirty addiction that I can't seem to get rid of.

The satisfaction of that one tiny cut is starting to wear off and I realize that I want more.

I am a sick, sick person. I don't dare deny it.

So this time, instead of swiping it quickly, I drag it across, unhurried, and let the blood flow down my arm. It flows between my fingers, steady and soothing me. The color is so inviting, so much like the hair that brushes across my field of view.

The flow does not seem to be letting up, I realize. And yet, I can't seem to dredge up the will to stop it myself. I just want to watch the red blood seep out of me. I just want to watch all of that pain seep out of me.

It stops after a while, just when I began to wonder if I would die of blood loss. In fact, my arm is cold and shakes slightly.

Sighing, I run a piece of tissue under cold water and dab around the wound, cleaning up the mess that I made before running the blade under cold water. I place it in the case and pocket it before checking to see that my sleeves are in place.

No one will know about this, or about those thoughts that torment me.

I step out of the bathroom.

"Finally! Jeez, Kurama, you take longer than the girls to get ready!"

I smile sweetly.

"Sorry about that."

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Author's Space

Short, yes, I know.

•Page Avenue (the CD) by Story of the Year. Specifically, the guitar intro for the title track, as well as Razorblades—the song that finally motivated me to write this entire fic. Because, well, I believe this was the third one-shot that I wrote for the "series".

•Next Chapter: Chapter Three: Nicotine

Thanks for reading. Please review/ rant/ critique/ flame. Feel free to ask questions—about the fic, about me, about anything in the world. I don't know if I'll have an answer, but it's good to ask, right?

And Merry Christmas, if you happen to celebrate it. If not, then Happy Holidays, even if yours has already past (as I know Hanukkah is).

Love,

fluorescentpinkfairies

Thank You:

sakurasango

KaraKurama

Kyoka

samuraiduck27