Once Upon a Razorblade

Disclaimer: I own no part of Yu Yu Hakusho.

Part Two: Sweetest Lullaby

Chapter Two: Afraid You'll Jump?

-

I think she has forgiven me for attempting suicide. At least, that is what I believe. I'm not quite sure. I hope so, because if she is angry at me for that as well as for somehow contracting a lethal disease, I daresay her head will explode.

Which is a completely mean thing to say about my own mother, but I've been on medication for the past two and a half days, my attempt to commit suicide was foiled - twice, may I add - and it's getting extremely boring simply sitting in this room and doing nothing.

I have the gifts given to me by fangirls, but they have been warned off the hospital grounds.

Funny how they have completely changed their view of me. From perfect student to tragic, sensitive young man - they seem to still want me, though for what reason, I'm completely unsure.

I do have the feeling that they were simply hanging around because of the rather inconvenient dress code that hospitals always seem to institute for the poor individuals (such as myself) who are confined to bed for days on end. And it really is quite inconvenient. It gets rather breezy back there.

The medication has been going to my head. It really has.

Or at least, that is what I pleaded after they found me frantically pulling out the IVs and monitors that were so kindly pushed into the veins and arteries and capillaries of my arms.

On topic, however, Mother has finally allowed my friends to enter the room, though they've been told to go in one or two at a time.

So here Yuusuke is, frowning at me in the seat beside this ridiculous bed.

Can he do nothing but frown? Really, I'm in the hospital at the moment - in part because of him, I remember - and isn't he supposed to be cheering me up or something else of that nature?

Really.

"Yuusuke, I would appreciate it greatly if you would stop glaring at me," I say politely, and plaster a just as polite smile on my face.

"Huh" he half-laughs. "Glaring at you? You almost killed yourself, Kurama. I have every damn right to glare at you. What the hell were you thinking?"

I shrug non-committally.

"Don't give me that! We're part of the same team, remember! What happened to all that bullshit about being redeemed and not killing yourself and all that other crap you spout?"

"That is not why I did it, Yuusuke."

"Then what the hell?"

I don't answer, simply turn to look out the window and wait until he storms out, slamming the door behind him.

The door opens and shuts once more and I wait for the next person to begin lecturing me.

"Hey, there. You don't mind if I smoke in here, do you?" I turn to see Shizuru fingering that metallic lighter she always seems to have with her and sinking into the chair.

"Not particularly. Though I suspect the fire alarm would go off."

Shizuru looks up and sees the circular mechanism attached to the ceiling.

"The windows open, don't they? No? They afraid you'll jump?" she asks.

"Something like that."

She sighs.

"You're a little idiot, aren't you? For being a fox and all, I'd've thought you'd have a bigger brain. What? Don't look so pissed off. I'm just saying that having self-destructive habits and actually killing yourself are two different things. Similar, yes, but different, too." She shrugs. "Whatever."

We sit in silence for a while longer until she gets up to leave, wishing me farewell and get better.

"Shizuru," I call before she leaves.

"Yeah?"

"Did my mother tell you about..."

She closes the door once more.

"About your illness?"

I nod.

"Yeah. While Yuusuke was in here, so I think he's going to probably go think things over for a while after Kazuma tells him." She shrugs. "Just be sure to get better, got it?"

I nod and smile as she exits.

"I will."

And I know that Shizuru knows I won't.

-

Author's Space

Yeah, yeah.

Soundtrack: Only Hope, Switchfoot version, A Walk to Remember soundtrack.

Next Chapter: Chapter Three: Yes.

Review, whatever, whatever. C2 policy-you remember it. I know you do.

Love,

Drake (too tired to spell the other one out)

Editing on this site was screwy. Just so you know, most of Yuusuke's questions were supposed to end in exclamation points followed by question marks. It pissed me off that it wasn't working.

Thank You

samuraiduck27

Marysmary

ineXpressible - I liked what you said in your first review: "Almost cynically smart." I never thought of it that way, but that was the way I always wanted to characterize Kurama. Thanks.

Kuranga

Silverlieand sakurasango - If you hated the doctor, you're probably gonna hate the psychiatrist, too. But that's in the third part, so... Thanks so much for the reviews!

Niana Kuonji - Your review made me laugh because destiny really is screwing him over, isn't it?

Nakoudo - You're certainly welcome to archiving it - thanks so much.

Kurama's Angel