-NOTE- : If I ever talk about Kurama's stepbrother, I'll spell it 'Shuichi', with one "u" as opposed to two.

Once Upon a Razorblade

Disclaimer: I own no part of Yu Yu Hakusho.

Part Two: Sweetest Lullaby

Chapter Four: Childhood

Today is the final day of my "captivity" in the hospital. I am going home, to the place where I suppose it all began, once upon a time, once upon a razorblade.

There is a part of me that wants to leave; to free myself from that stifling gloom that is the most obvious component of the hospital. There is a part of me that still believes that if I return home, normalcy will be forthcoming - that wants normalcy to be forthcoming.

And yet there is that part - buried not so deeply beneath a thin layer of easily disturbed thoughts - that wishes I could go anywhere but home. Because I know that the trust between myself and my mother has been breached. Because I know that the home - the quiet, comfortable atmosphere of home that I once enjoyed - that I knew has been destroyed by none other than me.

And still, I realize that by doing this, by going back, I am causing my mother relief, at the very least. And even if I cannot make her truly happy, that peace of mind is something.

Even though I am a terrible son; even though I have this youko within me, telling me to hate her and all humans; even though I have this internal instinct to just leave her, I love Shiori more than I ever thought I could.

So I sit in the car, watching the scenery that rushes by me and I await my quickly approaching homecoming.

"Shuuichi, are you all right?"

My head snaps to the woman in the driver's seat.

"Yes, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

My mother gives a small smile and a shrug.

"You've just been so quiet lately. I was wondering if something was wrong."

Aside from the most obvious something, Mother?

"No. I was just thinking of how wonderful it will be to get back home."

I was rather expecting Yuusuke and the others to be here when I stepped out of the car. I have no idea where I got that idea from, but I'm not disappointed that they are nowhere in sight. I haven't seen anyone since that last visit.

It's fine. I'm sitting in my room, watching the night as it comes upon the world so swiftly. One moment, I am watching the sunset, and the next, I am watching the stars glint in the sky. The moonlight is foggy, as clouds sit before the moon.

The house is quiet. My stepbrother is in his room, warned against entering mine by my mother and stepfather.

Speaking of Hatanaka, I suppose he doesn't feel confident enough of our stepfather-stepson relationship yet to approach me with much more than a "Welcome home, Shuuichi," and a pat on the shoulder.

It isn't too late, but one of the side effects of the medication I've been put on is drowsiness. The instant that my head hits the pillow, I feel sleep struggle to overtake me. Time, as I struggle not to succumb to the allure of drug-induced slumber, ceases to be at all rational or understandable, as it usually is before one plunges into The Void That is Not Death.

"Shuuichi," I hear my mother murmur as she creeps into my room. Her gentle fingers pull the blankets over me and brush hair out of my face. Her arms encircle me and hold me tight, as she did so many years ago in my childhood. I feel the press of her lips against my cheek and temple and I hear her whisper.

"I love you, Shuuichi."

And like the sweetest of a child's lullabies, it is those words that finally send me to sleep.

End Part Two: Sweetest Lullaby

Author's Space

Yes, yes. I probably should've warned you that this chapter would be spun sugar in comparison with most of the rest of the story. Part Three coming up soon...

Soundtrack: Sign Off, Sugarcult, Palm Trees and Powerlines

Next Chapter: Chapter Zero: Interlude: Summons

You know what to do. Once again, I'm eternally grateful for long reviews.

Love,

fluorescent

Thank You / Responses

samuraiduck27

ineXpressible -You know what they say: Misery loves company. I think that most suicidal people would want a little bit of sympathy, at least, just so they can snap back with a, "You don't understand - you don't know how it feels to be me." However, it's probably better to be exposed to someone like Hiei, rather than the sympathetic type. And a fun fact: The Genkaithing was one of thelast additions to the chapter.

Aseret Kitsune

Kuranga108 - It's a real paradox, isn't it? Hiei's the only one who could possibly make Kurama listen to reason, but he's doesn't really know it and doesn't want to try it...

Niana Kuonji - Oh, yeah, Saiyukiis awesome. It's one of my favorite Sanzo quotes, too. I like Koumyou Sanzo's birds quote a lot, too. And it's really funny - I have a tendency to kill off the characters that I really love. But that doesn't make re-reading the chapters any less sad for me.

GreenEyedFloozy - Um... Your last review was one of the most emotional that I've ever gotten. I'm not writing this out of true experience, no, only through some very real depression.

Kyoka

sakurasango - Thank you! You're a pretty great authoress, yourself. Though Kurama's fate was predestined, I drew a lot of inspiration from Live Like You Were Dying.

HarmonyHanyou - YEAH! Switchfoot is beyond awesome. Heheh.