Once Upon a Razorblade

Disclaimer: I own no part of Yu Yu Hakusho. But steal my plot and you will suffer.

Part Three: Waltzing Through Eternity

Chapter Two: Between Stars

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I am in the counselor's — Dr. Hanako Ishikawa's, I learned not too long ago — office. Or, rather, I am outside of it, just ready to go in and retrieve the backpack that I left in there in a momentary slip of memory.

I don't usually eavesdrop. I don't.

Oh, there isn't any merit to lying.

I believe I quite excel at eavesdropping. It came with the job description of thief, considering that at times, the risks were simply too high to rush in and steal the treasure outright. Eavesdropping was quite useful for gathering information about the whereabouts of the prize as well as what guarded it.

This, I suppose, is not for a particularly useful cause, but I am eavesdropping all the same because it is a rather hard habit to break.

And because the subject is me.

"The Minamino boy was just in here," is the opening line. My hand drops from the place where it was about to knock on her door.

"Shuuichi, right?" the other person — another woman, one of the teachers from the lower grades — replies. "I've overheard a lot about him lately. The girls seem to love him, but there's a rumor that he's… that he isn't well. Do you know…?"

"Oh, it's true," the counselor states. "It's something incurable but non-transmittable except through blood donation. They've given him a year or two to live if there are no complications in the treatment."

The other teacher gives a sympathetic cluck of the tongue.

"Poor boy. He looks like such a sweetheart, too."

Dr. Ishikawa gives a short laugh.

"Yes. He does."

"But?"

Through the door I can almost hear the counselor sigh.

"But after spending two weeks of talking to him and three sessions, there has been limited progress."

"Shouldn't that be normal for someone his age?"

"If you're referring to those rebellious teenage years when they won't talk to anyone, then yes, it would be normal. I've dealt with those types before.

"But… No. Minamino is different. He talks, all right, but he gives me answers that contradict or that he knows I want or don't want. He just won't give me the cut-and-dry truth, I can tell in his eyes. He takes it as a game. Even talking about his illness, he plays with the truth or twists the question and then switches gears so that before I know it, he's got me in a trap and he knows it."

"Sounds frustrating."

"You have no idea," Ishikawa mutters.

The other teacher laughs.

"It sounds to me like the shrink needs a shrink."

I smile to myself before knocking firmly on the door.­­­­­­

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"You're out of that hospital."

It isn't a question but a statement.

How typical.

Hiei sits on my windowsill, perfectly balanced half in and half out of the room with one leg pulled up to his chest, katana resting against the opposite shoulder.

I lay on my side, head resting on arm resting on pillow. The sheets, at one point hiked up past my chin, are pooled now at the waist. I watch him a moment longer before untangling fingers from strands of hair and sitting up in bed.

"Yes," I reply, even though the comment warranted no response, as I well know.

"Hn."

That, too, warrants no response.

"Where have you been for the past few weeks?" I ask instead.

"Elsewhere," is the blunt reply.

Silence descends.

I glance at the clock. Two hours since I fell asleep last. I turn my eyes back to Hiei and then up towards the ceiling.

"Don't do anything stupid again."

How utterly shocking.

"Pardon?"

"Don't get me wrong," he rushes on, glaring at me straight in the eyes that darted to him the moment he said that. "I don't give a damn about your health. Yuusuke and Kuwabara were just being pains in the ass while you weren't there to shut them up."

"Ah."

"Hn." He turns away to stare at the moon, clouded over and obscured by billowing gray clouds. I know then that the conversation is over and that if I continue, it will be one-sided and empty. So I simply lay back and watch the night progress.

After a while, I fall back asleep. And in the morning, he is gone.

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It's a stupid urge. Yes. It's an extremely stupid urge.

But, I figure, I have nothing to lose. If I try and succeed, well, then, congratulations. If I try and fail, then I lose energy. So what? I could build it up again with some work.

And so, beneath the quarter moon and among the thick trees I stand, concentrating my energy and concentrating on the task before me.

I am trying, to shape-shift the way that I used to be able to and become — at least physically — Youko Kurama.

It isn't working as it should. I can feel it even as the flashing of gold signals my transformation.

To be more precise, it works, but only half-way. Youko's strands of silver intermingle with those red ones of Shuuichi's, and green eyes become flecked with gold, I note as I watch my reflection in the compact mirror in my palm. My fingers reach up to touch the fox ears that have sprouted atop my head, but the fingers are merely that — neither clawed nor sharp but humanoid and very nearly useless.

I sigh, wondering if Genkai's power cap is still in place. I could probably break it by now, if I really wanted to.

Or maybe I'm just becoming weak.

I look up at the sky and wonder if I should start counting the stars or not. I decide against it.

It is strange. Why does it seem that I'm always stuck between two places? I am stuck, for instance, between human and demon, or stuck, as I am now, between Shuuichi and Youko… between repentance and sin, between love and hate, between now and then.

Between life and death.

I change my mind. Tonight, I will count the stars.

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Author's Space

Soundtrack: Smashing Blue (Kinya Kotani), Ready Steady Go (L'Arc-en-Ciel on Smile), and Say Anything (Good Charlotte on The Young and the Hopeless).

This chapter is really late for several reasons — schoolwork (twotaxing math classes in particular), my school club (I'm secretary), involvement in other animé series (Peacemaker Kurogane, among others), and the creation of a chapter backlogso that there won't be such a long wait. And furthermore, I wanted this to be a reverse birthday gift from me to you guys because I turned 15 on May 14 and because I wanted to thank you all for your support and reviews.

This chapter was mainly filler, not much substance pertaining to the plot. The next one's the banger and I really like it, so I'll post it as soon as I can. And you can take the exchange at the window any which way you want. I'm not saying anything.

Next Chapter: Chapter Three: Frostbitten.

Review, please...

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Thank you:

Bluespark – D'you know, I actually didn't even think of giving her a name until you pointed it out? Thanks!

Niana Kuonji – Yeah… I haven't met my high school guidance counselors, really… I probably should… Thanks so much for reviewing.

Ryukotsusei, samuraiduck27, lunareclipse, The Amazing Tsu-chan, A lilmatchgirl, KyoHanna, Kuranga108, GreenEyedFloozy, Pure white cat, sakurasango, Insane Chipmunk – I'm really sorry for the wait, everyone. Thanks for your responses on the guidance counselor!

ineXpressible – Glad you liked it! I've never really met my new counselors, even though as a freshman, I was supposed to… I skipped out on it because it was after school and I have 10th period off, so I just… conveniently forgot. And I also didn't have time to get over my phobia of the last counselor I had, so… Thanks for always reviewing!

DemonUntilDeath – Congratulations! You've hit upon one of the reasons why I thought this up. I mean, after watching the Spirit Detective Saga and most of the Dark Tournament on one Saturday afternoon, it really drove that concept into my brain. Like, 'He's almost-dying all over the damn place!' (sweatdrop) Er. Well, be consoled that you're not the only one who thinks about that in your spare time.

blackrose kitsune – Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Your review brightened an otherwise bleak day, let me tell you. You're right – I do try to put a lot of thought into each chapter because, really, I don't want to leave any loose ends. Plus, details like blood type trouble are what make a story more real and enable others to connect. About word consistency: I don't like it when other authors switch their word usage in the middle of the story because it feels so disconnected with the other chapters (unless it's a change in POV, in which case it's okay). Erm… so, thanks for your review!

SunStar Kitsune – About whether Koenma will bring him back when the book is done: Mm… You'll just have to find out! Thanks for your reviews!

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Bonus: Setting

Looking back, I guess I forgot to mention it at the beginning of the fic: This is AU. Well, sort of. It's more PU. Meaning, as opposed to 'alternate universe', this is 'parallel universe', which, really, is a misnomer. It means that for this fic, the YYH canon-verse branched off into two directions: (don't read if you hate spoilers beyond the end of the Chapter Black Saga) one is canon, where Yusuke went to visit Kuroka and got the message from Raizen and so on and so forth… The second is this storyline. So in this world, they finished off Sensui and went on with life as usual. This is about a year after Chapter Black. Therefore, Hiei's ever met Mukuro, Kurama wasn't re-united (snicker) with Yomi, and Yusuke hasn't met ancestral-daddy-dearest, but they're perfectly acquainted with, say, Kaitou.

Hint, hint.