Author's Note: A good chunk of the dialogue was taken straight from the episode. I'm just filling in the blanks, folks.
Thanks to mrstater for her unending support, encouragment, and time. And for suggesting I take a look at In Translation, even though it was for a purpose much less honorable than writing a fanfic. lol.
Disclaimer: All people, places, and things Lost are copyright JJ Abrams, David Lindelof, and the ABC Network. This fanfiction is for entertainment only, and I seek neither credit for nor profit from the characters and plot of the television series.
A New Life
"Let me tell you about my sister…"
Sayid stared at the fire in front of him and reflected on Boone's words from their talk earlier that evening.
"…she likes older men, guys who can take care of her. My guess is, in this place, you fit the bill."
Sayid's conversation with Boone had not gone according to plan. He had expected possible resistance, anger even, although he had hoped that by making his intentions clear, Boone would come to accept the possibility of his relationship with Shannon.
Assuming they did, indeed, take the next step.
Sayid had approached Boone because he had wanted to make things easier for Shannon. He had thought that by doing so he could overcome any possible objections, quell any doubts the younger man might have had. Days earlier when Boone had made it clear that he didn't want Sayid near his sister, he had reminded the Iraqi of a puppy nipping at his heels. He had initially found Boone's feeble attempt at a warning amusing. Now that his relationship with Shannon was progressing, however, it had seemed prudent to address Boone's concerns. The last thing he wanted was to cause a rift between the two. Sayid wasn't sure what Boone's concerns were exactly; was he worried that Sayid was too old, too different? By addressing him directly, he had hoped to find out, to silence any doubts once and for all.
Instead, things had gone horribly wrong; he was the one left with doubt, he was the one haunted by suspicion. Uncertainties settled into his stomach like a leaden weight.
"…She'll make you feel like the greatest guy ever while you get her food, or whatever it is that she needs. And when she gets whatever it is that she wants, she'll move on…"
Only that morning Sayid had been surprised by an entirely different conversation, when Shannon made it clear that she was interested in taking their flirtations further.
"Maybe we should get some rope, spend a Saturday night alone together, and see what happens."
Rope. Alone. Together. Sayid flushed as he remembered her suggestion. After she spoke, he had gaped at her like a schoolboy, like an idiot. Her eyes had laughed at him as he stared at her. Had she intended to fluster him? How could Shannon know that for him, a man raised in a distinctly different world than her own, that she was so wholly unexpected? She was unlike any woman he had ever known and when he was near her he felt almost like he had gotten too close to the sun…she was all golden beauty and white heat. And very, very long legs.
He knew the attraction was not only physical, although that did play a part, of course. It would be foolish not to acknowledge that physical attraction played a role in his interest. But other things about her attracted him, too. Shannon made him feel like he was young again. Like there was still light, laughter, life to be had, even on this hellhole of an island. She made it possible for him to feel happy again, something that had not seemed possible in years. So much of his life had been taken over by duty: duty to his family, to the Guard, to his honor. Even duty to his guilt, as odd as that sounded. It had been years since he had felt as free as she made him feel.
But was she doing as Boone said? Had this all been a farce? Had he misread things entirely?
Sayid usually trusted his own judgment implicitly. Years of training in the Republican Guard left him with the ability to see through lies, to siphon facts away from fiction. With Shannon, though, was he so off-balance that he didn't see things clearly? Boone's final warning had stopped him cold.
"… When she does, don't take it personally, man."
Closing his eyes, Sayid lay back on the sand and tried to free his mind from her. This whole thing was a complication he just didn't need right now. He should be concentrating more on the maps, on figuring out a way off this island once and for all, not flirting with a girl fifteen years his junior. He was making an ass out of himself. He had been used enough lately, and he was tired of it. Thoughts of Essam and the part he played in his friend's death still haunted him, and probably always would. Like everything else in his life, though, he learned from it.
Sayid made his decision. There was only one thing to do; back away.
A log settled, shooting sparks into the dark night air.
As the mid-morning sun rose higher in the sky, Sayid made his way over to Shannon. He had risen early after a fitful night's rest but had avoided her until now. Time for avoidance was over, though. Best just end things now and move on. He didn't relish what he was about to do, but he also didn't want her to know that he had been taken in by her. No longer would he be made a fool of.
Sayid watched her for a second as she struggled with some plastic sheeting, trying hard to assemble some sort of shelter out of it. His resolve faltered a bit when she called to him.
"Hey, there you are. Come help me with this, I'm completely destroying it."
Sayid joined her and grabbed some of the sheeting, grateful for something to occupy his hands while he spoke. She looked so genuine, so pleased to see him. Drawing a breath he braced himself, remembered she was just using him, and shut all doubts out of his mind.
"You seem to be doing just fine."
"Yeah, outside of making it collapse."
Her smile disarmed him for a moment, but he steeled himself again.
As he spoke, Sayid stared at her, a small smile playing on his lips. He was finished playing games; he was not a man to be used and she was mistaken if she thought he was.
"You're very capable, Shannon. I'm sure you'll be alright building it on your own."
"What's going on?"
Her smile faded as she spoke. She looked so confused, so sad and dejected. Sayid's heart froze; he hated this, hated everything about it. He hesitated for a moment. He had known she would look troubled, had expected it, it was part of the game, after all. Still, part of him ached when he saw the expression on her face. Unable to hide the hurt in his own eyes, he glanced at her and softly said,
"Perhaps you should find another friend to help you with your shelter."
While he expected her disappointment, he had not expected the mixture of sorrow, hurt, and anger he saw in her eyes as she bit out, "You've been talking to my brother, haven't you."
Sayid watched as she stormed off into the jungle. Her pain seemed so real. Could he have made a mistake?
Shannon tore into the jungle looking for Boone. What in hell had he done? Why did he always have to interfere with her life? Did he think he was punishing her for Sydney? Where the fuck was he?
As she ripped past vines and trees, Shannon fumed. She should have known things were going too well. Here she was stuck on craphole island, why should anything good ever happen?
"Oh, gross." Shannon had run into Locke, who was busy gutting what looked like a frog. Her stomach lurched and she turned her eyes away. Yeah, that certainly makes thing better. First Sayid dumps her because of her jerk of a brother, now she had the oh-so-charming vision of a disemboweled frog in her head. Lovely. Just lovely.
"Gross to you, dinner to me."
Shannon chose to ignore that disgusting idea. Her anger boiled to the surface, "Boone, where is he?"
"Don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know? You two are like jungle pals." Shannon fumed at him.
"Sorry, I haven't seen him."
"Well, if you do see him, tell him to keep his stupid mouth shut. And if he does have something to say, he can leave Sayid out of it, and come say it to my face."
"Should I be writing this down?" Locke almost sounded amused.
Shannon stared at him, taken aback for a moment. Ass.
"Just tell him to stay out of my business." She muttered and turned to leave. Obviously talking to Locke was completely useless. She should have known better, the man was a freak.
"Do you like him?"
Shannon stared at him for a minute, thrown off by the question. Did she like Boone? What exactly did he mean by that? And what in hell had Boone been blabbing about now? Did he have to tell the whole world their business? Her eyes narrowed as she spoke. "What?"
"Sayid?"
"Are you serious?" Oh, Shannon thought, Sayid. That was different. Sort of. Not that her relationship with Sayid was any more his business than her relationship with Boone.
"Because if you do, like him, what's it got to do with you brother? You're a grown woman. Sure, you can yell at Boone 'til you're blue in the face, but all you're doing is giving him what he wants."
"Yeah, what's that?"
"Your attention. Everyone gets a new life on this island, Shannon. Maybe it's time you start yours."
Shannon stared at him for a minute, then left for the caves. Maybe Boone was there and she could have it out with him once and for all. What did Locke know, anyway? He was worse than an old lady. What did he know about anything?
But as Shannon reached the caves, her pace slowed. She was still angry, but somehow Locke's words kept playing in her mind. She stopped short; what if he was right? Slowly she sank down to the bank near the stream and stared into the cool, clear water. She thought back to her relationship with Boone: what had made them become who they were to each other? Was it really all about attention?
She and Boone had had similar upbringings to most of their friends. Parents so busy with their own careers they only saw them on occasion. Sabrina had her empire, her father had his firm. Its just the way life was. Both left early, came home late, and traveled constantly. When he was still alive, the only time she really saw her father was on Sundays. He would play eighteen holes early on Sunday and they would all meet him at the club for lunch. After lunch, Sabrina would join him and they would shoot another eighteen holes while Shannon and Boone would just hang out. Boone would usually play tennis; Shannon would usually head to the pool. Shannon didn't know how odd it was that this was their only family time; it was normal to her. She just knew she would have liked to have spent more time with her dad.
Instead, they had a succession of nannies when they were younger, housekeepers when they were older. Shannon supposed they both fought for attention in their own way. She found it from boys, eventually men. Boone found it by joining every club, every cause he could latch onto. But really, when it came down to it, they both only had each other.
Things got worse after her father died. Sabrina tried to keep up the Sunday lunches, but more often than not she would get caught up with friends or business associates there and Shannon and Boone would lunch on their own. Eventually Shannon started to skip the lunches altogether and head straight to the pool. Boone would track her down, yell at her, make a scene until she stormed off. It became some kind of twisted ritual. Eventually he would find her and apologize. Sometimes she would forgive him, sometimes she wouldn't, at least not right away. He became possessive of her, and in a way she liked it.
Attention. It all came down to attention, Shannon realized now. The further she pushed the envelope, the more attention she received. Boone was the same. He pushed at her, messed things up for her, until she felt cornered enough to fight back. Just as she had planned to do now, until Locke's words stopped her cold.
So what was she supposed to do now? Let it go? Walk away? Just let him mess up her life here on the island and act like it didn't matter?
God only knew what he had told Sayid. She knew she didn't exactly have a commendable history, but how much had Boone told him? She prayed he hadn't said anything about Sydney. She doubted it because then it would have made him look bad, too. God's friggin' gift to humanity would never let on he had done something so wrong. No, it must have been something else. Something bad, of course. She had seen the hurt in Sayid's eyes, had seen the distrust. Her head pounded as she enumerated all the things Boone could use against her. More likely than not, it had to be something to do with the money and the men.
Shannon sighed. She never would have even been in that situation if Sabrina had allowed her to have access to her trust fund early. She had fought her on it, tried to get her to see that there was no reason to make her wait until she was twenty-five. Sabrina, true to form, had not relented. Even Christophe had been unsuccessful when he tried to charm her into allowing Shannon to have access to it early. Shannon grimaced as she remembered her realization that maybe she should have been tipped off as to Christophe's real intentions when he had been so vehement about her getting it early.
While flirting came naturally for Shannon, letting her guard down didn't, not since Christophe had hurt her so severely. I mean, what kind of man seduces an 18 year old girl, makes her believe so many lovely things, only to find out what he was really after was her trust fund? She remembered her humiliation, her anger when she realized the truth of the situation. Christophe never did understand why it had hurt her, mercenary that he was, but Shannon had moved out that night and never looked back. She had felt like such a fool.
Going back home to California had not been one of her better moments, not after defying her family by marrying him in the first place. Sabrina had warned her, advised her to wait a bit, cautioned her that a 20 year age difference was a bit much, but Shannon had been stubborn. And while Sabrina didn't gloat about the situation, still, Shannon could tell she was happy at the outcome, happy that she had been proven right and life could go back to normal. Sabrina's lawyers quickly worked out the annulment. Like it never even happened, her step-mother had said. But it had. Of course it had.
Shannon thought about the last few days with Sayid. For the first time in a long while Shannon had finally started opening up to someone. Sayid was so unlike other men she had known. Yes, she could see that familiar lust in his eyes…especially when he looked at her legs. Men always looked at her that way. But he had seemed so different. He made her feel like she was smart, capable…useful.
Shannon stared vacantly at the stream in front of her. And now it was over. Finished before it even got started.
Shannon ran her hand through the stream, lazily running her fingers through the cold water, feeling its minor resistance to her movement. Locke's words echoed in her mind.
"You're a grown woman...everyone gets a new life on this island, Shannon. Maybe it's time you start yours."
As she reflected, she realized that he was the first person to call her a grown woman. Most people seemed to treat her as, if not quite a child, definitely not quite a woman. She was someone who needed to be taken care of, to be looked out for. But Locke was right, she was a woman.
She thought of Sayid. He never treated her like a child, never talked down to her. Never expected less of her. If anything, he pushed her to become better than she was, to become more than she had been.
Shannon stood and made her way back to the beach. She never had found Boone, and now she was just as happy that she hadn't. It wasn't Boone she was looking for anymore. She braced herself as she made her decision. She knew what she wanted, and while she was unsure as to what his reaction would be, she had to go to him, to Sayid. She needed to face things like a woman, not run away like a little girl.
Sayid stood on the beach staring into the blazing fire. Sparks flew against the dark night sky as he reflected on all that had occurred in the last twenty-four hours. He was not a man to doubt his perception of people. He was used to seeing a situation clearly, knowing when people lied to him or tried to deceive him. Last night Boone made him doubt himself.
And now he doubted that doubt. Had he made a mistake with Shannon? Had he jumped to the wrong conclusion because of Boone?
The fight on the beach earlier between Jin and Michael had jarred him. He had been sure not long after the crash that Sun spoke, or at least understood, English. He had said as much, sure that he had read the truth in her eyes. She could pretend otherwise, but he knew he wasn't wrong. Today she confirmed his suspicions.
So if he had not been wrong about Sun, maybe he did still see people clearly. Maybe Shannon was sincere with him. He would like a chance to talk to her again, to look into her hazel eyes and try to determine the truth. Which was it…was his first instinct correct, or had he been blinded by her looks, distracted by long legs and blonde hair?
Sayid stared blankly at the fire. It didn't matter now, anyway. Surely, she would never speak to him again.
Sayid did not hear her approach until she was next to him. Turning to look at her, he could see she was nervous, unsure of her standing with him. He stared into her eyes, trying to find the truth there that he was sure he had seen before, trying to find his answers. Did she truly care for him, or was he some kind of pawn? As he watched her, she reached out and lifted his chin and gently pressed her lips to his. Sayid's heart skipped a beat as she touched him. Her kiss was so soft, so sweet, it was almost like a dream. Still unsure, he responded tentatively, losing himself momentarily in her embrace. All too soon she pulled away and looked down.
"What was that for?" He asked softly, his eyes pleading with her; this had to be real, please let this be real, please care for me…
Shannon swallowed hard and looked up at him, eyes open, baring her soul to him. Quietly she replied, "Everyone gets a new life on this Island. I'd like to start now."
Sayid saw her. It wasn't that he was distracted from the truth, although his heart certainly was beating faster. He just knew. All doubts left his mind as he lost himself in her eyes. He trusted in her, in himself. He trusted in them. If she was starting a new life, he wanted very much to be a part of it.