I Tried - Chapter 7

BURDENS OF A SOUL

Mariah yelled the whole way home. Reno had to almost carry her, muttering random apologies to her as he did so. None of his placations did any good, he knew that they wouldn't. When they reached the church Reno had to bang on the door until Padre opened it. The bald man then began a tirade on Reno as well.

"Reno? What in the name of Holy is that on your arm?" Padre took Mariah from Reno, his slightly taller frame having less problems holding her up then the still shorter boy's.

Reno was half afraid to go into the church, he looked up at the worn, wooden door frame, waiting for Padre to sit Mariah down on a bench. Then Padre stood, looking eye to eye with Reno, still outside his door. The boy shivered in the sudden chill.

He knew that Padre didn't want him to exactly join the priest-hood, however, he had always stressed an honest life. Even offered to help him find jobs with weapons dealers in the slums. Reno never accepted; to make what he made with Fallen in a few hours would take weeks of "honest" work. In Reno's mind one should work smarter, not harder, he was honest when one asked him what he did, wasn't that enough?

"Well, boy? Are you going to come in with that on your arm?" Padre looked down at Mariah, but she was busy breathing. Worry for her faded to anger at Reno. "In a holy place with that mark on your arm?"

Reno growled. From the doorway he countered. "You think I just do this to piss you off? I don't, I do it to stay alive. I do it so this-" he motioned around the church- "stays where it is. I don't see you bringing in much more money then I do."

Padre balked. "Reno! I have had it with your disrespect, your attitude and the way you insist on treating us like we have no say in your life!"

"You don't have a say in my life. You never had, all I own is my life and it is mine to do with as I damn well please." The boy spat. "I don't need to take this from you."

The bald priest almost took a step back from the venom in Reno's voice. The child was getting close to a growth spurt, his voice suddenly snapped to a deep, threatening tone. It seemed out of place on the thin boy at his doorway. Padre lost his temper. "Then why do you?! You want to leave so bad, go right on ahead, I have never stopped you."

"Enough! Stop this both of you!" Mariah yelled hoarsely. She didn't bother to turn and look at Reno, or even try to stand up. "Reno, don't yell at us like we are strangers to you. If you want to leave-" her voice cracked, "just do it."

The boy blinked at Mariah's back, the last thing that he wanted to do was leave her and Padre. The very last thing he wanted was to be away from them, but he was pushing them. Reno knew that much very well. He closed his eyes, failing to even notice his voice had changed in the middle of an argument. He knew he owed them, hells, if it weren't for them, he would be dead. Reno knew that they were right, but it was hard to say that he was wrong. Even when he was. "I- I didn't mean that..." Reno started, unsure of how to apologize.

"What did you mean then boy?" Padre was kneeling beside Mariah, checking her pulse.

"I- fuck-" Reno pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry. I did this because I felt I didn't have a choice, Okay?"

The priest stood again. "No, it is not okay, I will deal with it if you still want to live in my home. But there are three things I want to get straight right now."

"And they are?" Reno still didn't move from the doorway.

"No drugs, none of your foul language in my church." Padre waved a hand at Reno's arm. "And take that thing off when you are under my roof."

Removing the bandanna, Reno stepped into the doorway. "I can handle that." He pushed it into his pocket and edged further into the church.

Padre said nothing more to Reno, just picked Mariah up and helped her limp to the back of the church, to the stairs that led up to her room. Leaving the boy to stand alone, staring up at that cross.

Hours later, Padre knocked on Reno's door. There was a loud shuffle of things being slid under his bed, before the boy told Padre to come in. He stood gape jawed yet again at Reno. "What the HELL is on your back?"

Reno, who was in the middle of putting on a new shirt and fresh from the shower froze in mid action. "Oh, yeah... uhm, wings?"

"Uhm yeah." Padre snapped. "What, were you playing 'how many commandments can I break?'" He made a noise of frustration.

Reno slid the shirt back on, hiding the huge tattoo that literally covered his back and part of his arms, just under the shoulders. Black and white, the broken angel's wings were well drawn, white feathers falling from the broken, black wing bones, down to his pants line. His pale skin seemed darker in the patches where one could still see the natural color. "I honestly, didn't, ah- notice..." His voice drifted off.

"I see." Padre got up and left Reno's room.

Reno slammed his fist into the wall. "Damnit. Why can't I just fucking say 'thank you' to them. Man... Now what?" He flopped on his bed, looking up at the cracked ceiling. He hadn't really wanted to join the gang, but he felt safer now.

Recently, the Don had gone on a hiring spree. Whenever that happened, the new thugs got big heads and there was a rash of rapes and killings. These three guys in particular hung out at the bar near the church. Reno could roll his shoulders to cat calls. Lord knows he got them enough. If he had a gil for every time he heard the term "Fire Crotch" he would be richer then President ShinRa. But these three chased him for a while last week. There was no way they would catch him, but it wasn't something that Reno wanted to relive.

So what if respect seemed shallow? Reno wanted it, he wanted to be seen as a man, maybe even one to fear. Not a little red headed punk who turned tail and ran. He could hear Mariah and Padre talking below him. A strange feeling came over him, the one someone would get knowing that they were being talked about, but not hearing the words. Reno pushed up off the bed, he couldn't face them at the moment, but he could call Tifa.

Under the telephone in his room he kept a calling card. Tifa mailed him one every year on his birthday. He used it once a week, keeping up with her was some odd grip to normalcy. Viper teased him relentlessly about his soft spot for her, much to Reno's discomfort. Reno said it before and he would say it again, anyone like him that got too close to her would end up in a body bag, he would see to it personally.

Tifa's voice came on the line. "Hello, Lockheart residence."

He was thrilled it wasn't her father. The man was like talking to a police officer in his interrogations, he couldn't blame the guy though. "Teef?"

There was a beat of silence. "Yes? Is this- Re? Holy, did your voice get deep in a week."

He laughed on the other end. "Well there goes my audition for the boys choir... uhm-" he sat up, rubbing the back of his neck. "Ya got time to talk?"

"A little, before Daddy gets home." After her confusion worry laced her voice. Reno didn't have to say a word. "What's wrong Reno?"

"That obvious?" He asked, feeling defeated, here he was, trying to convince himself that he didn't give a damn what Padre thought of him.

"To me. What happened? Is Mar okay?"

He fell back to the bed. "No, and this time It's my fault. I ah- got initiated into Fallen a few days ago. I just got home-"

The female "tsk" noise hit his ears, but she said nothing else. "A few days? Why did you do that to them Re? I bet they were worried sick."

Reno covered his eyes with his arm. Whenever he got upset like this pressure built up behind his eyes. It felt like he wanted to cry, but he never could. His body seemed to remember how much crying hurt back when his mother was killed. Only putting outside pressure on his eyes seemed to make it better. That or drinking it away. "I didn't know I was gone so long. They had a party, I lost track of time. They let me back in the house, but, I feel like shit Teef. I think Mar had a nervous breakdown or something, she looks horrible. I thought Padre was going to kill me right there."

Silence. Reno knew Tifa was thinking, and that is what bothered him. Now he was making three people worry about him. "Why don't you start from the beginning? You can't make it better, at least ya can like-uhm, I dunno... make up for it?"

He laughed at her, then started from the beginning, feeling better for doing so.

Reno- taking advice from Tifa- went downstairs to see if there was anyway he could help out Mariah and Padre further. He pushed open the door to the kitchen, it had gone silent about twenty minutes after he started talking to Tifa. Padre sat alone in the kitchen. He looked up at Reno, but said nothing.

"Where's Mar?" Reno asked, worried. He pivoted his head from side to side.

Padre slumped forward, head in his hands. "She is in her room, asleep. We are going to a doctor tomorrow."

Reno sat down, measuring a distance between himself and Padre. "A slums doctor?" Padre nodded and Reno hissed. Going to a slum doctor was almost less effective then calling a person at random and asking, "hey whatcha think is wrong with me?" but there was nothing else to do; Reno wasn't going to pretend that there was. "Do you guys have the money?"

Padre nodded, then looked at Reno. The boy was close to what would be one of his last growth spurts. The blue hoodie he always wore was still slightly big on him; it was a comfortable big, unlike the comic big the hoodie had been when he was a small child. Padre himself was five foot eleven inches, Reno was already pushing that in height. He took out an envelope. "Reno, can you do something for us?"

Reno blinked. "You trust me?"

"Reno, I will always trust you on your word. I won't like it most of the time, but I do trust you."

The boy didn't respond, he took the envelope and peered at it. "The deposit?"

"Mariah can't take it, and I look like a target walking out there at this time of night." The priest explained.

Reno nodded and slid the envelope in his pocket. "No problem. I will be back late." He stood.

"Reno, remember I am trusting in you."

With a nod, Reno was out the door.

After replacing the bandanna around his arm, Reno zipped his hoodie up the rest of the way, and tucked his hands in the sleeves. The freezing cold sent through the slums was due to an over use of heaters in the winter. It was funny, how the plate did nothing to make them warm, until the summer where temperatures way above 90 degrees were common. The red head navigated around a puddle of indefinable origin on his way to the night deposit.

"Well, well if it isn't that little fire crotch again!" Came the drunken voice of his latest abuser. It was then joined by his ever present drinking buddies.

Reno glared at them, halting to judge if there would be another chase.

"Hey there Red, you wanna show a man a good time? Ya look like ya like that sorta shit."

Reno growled. He couldn't do this, not anymore. The boy spun. "Whereas you just look like shit?" He yelled across the alley.

The men stood shocked, then one moved smoothly forward. Reno's own eyes went wide. At least one of the big men were sober. He backed up, but he couldn't bypass what had been said. This was going to be a fight. Choosing what seemed to be the word of the hour, Reno muttered, "shit" and took off down the alley. With the three men at his heels.

They weren't the Don's thugs for nothing. Reno risked a glance over his shoulder, they were gaining on him. He looked back ahead, vaulting off the brick wall of the alley and sprinting. He wasn't getting away, so he halted. If they wanted him, they would have to kill him, and he wasn't about to go out easy.

The men chasing Reno were taken aback by his stance. The sober one slid in front. "Now, I think you owe my buddy an apology brat."

"Not my fault he's ugly." Reno countered, rocking from one leg to the other slowly.

Once again, the sober man was surprised. He reached forward to grab the boy up by his collar.

Inside Reno shut down. Everything he did was a reaction. He swung his left hand out, hitting the other man's arm and wrapping around it, snapping his arm strait, the boy yanked his opponent upright with a snap of bone. Before the thug realized that Reno broke his arm, he got three kicks sent to him; in the knee, the side, and at last his head. With his knee sprained and his arm broken, the thug fell to the ground.

Reno backed up, sliding back to a fighting stance. The drunk thugs stared from Reno to their cussing companion. "You little scarred up shit!" One finally growled, pulling a gun from his own coat. "You wanna play hard ball?"

Reno moved before the inebriated man could fire the weapon. He threw another kick, aiming for the man's hand, knocking the weapon loose. The gun clanged to the alley floor, all four people stared at it. The thug and Reno dove for the weapon, Reno proving faster. With one hand on the gun, he threw his elbow back, into the man's face. He stood, pants scraping on the alley, spinning with the weapon ready and held in his right hand.

Before the men could make any placations to him, Reno fired all six shots in the chamber. The drunks gaped at him, then fell to the ground bleeding. Reno suddenly realized what happened, he fell back against the wall, staring at the weapon in his hand. At last he noticed, the sweat from his brow was stinging his eyes, he was shaking.

This wasn't like the thug he had killed by accident when he was five, or was it? He didn't really grasp then what the gun did back then, but he had wanted to kill them. Just like the three bodies in the alley. He wanted to see them dead. Killing people wasn't right, but he didn't feel badly about it. Not about the man he killed in the past or about the men that were bleeding in that alley. Reno didn't want to think he was a killer. He didn't want to have it be this easy. He looked up, red hair falling into his eyes, glaring at the dead men in front of him.

He barely heard the sounds at the other end of the alley. Three more men were looking for their companions. Reno didn't have time to run, even if he thought his legs would work. They halted, all far more sober then the previous thugs. "What the fuck?"

With nothing else to do, Reno remained against the wall. His newly deep voice snarled, "fuck off."

Before the men had time to react, down the other end of the alley came three more familiar figures to Reno. "I would listen to the kid If I was you." Bronx's voice came clear before his features did. Viper and Tex stood on either side of him, arms crossed and smiles on their faces.

"He killed three a our guys." One thug hissed without conviction.

"They shouldn't have dicked with 'em then. Now scram before I get sicka yer face." Bronx led Viper and Tex over beside Reno.

The thug recognized the bandannas at last. "Fallen's starting to act too big for their dicks." He leveled a look at Reno. "We won't forget this."

"Makes two a us then. Beat it." Bronx himself was as big as the thugs, Tex and Viper, still teenagers, didn't look like a fight would bother them. After a few tense moments, the thugs slid away in anger. Bronx turned to Reno, giving a low appreciative whistle. "You got some on switch there, Wolf." He nodded to the bodies. "Lets see what we get out of this huh?" He slapped the red head on the back. "I knew ya had it in ya."

Reno's response was low, almost mumbled. "Yeah..."