Title: Tala's Newfound Burdens

Rated: PG-13

Warning: Language, Freaky Incidents

Summary:

The cast of Beyblade resides in the Abbey for the summer. After going insane due to the Russian team's loss at the World Championships, Boris goes to Hawaii for emotional support. Ian and Spencer underwent plastic surgery to 'beautify' their looks. Kai finds new interest in American television programs, as well as a stack of Playboy books that somehow mysteriously appeared in his old bedroom/dungeon. Enrique comes onto Tala. Bryan enjoys some KFC fried chicken. Other stuff that should not be mentioned ensues.

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade.

- Prologue -

The normally undistinguishable sun slowly rose over Moscow's scattered vegetation, finally shedding its golden enigma through the open, uncurtained window of the Abbey, reaching the still closed eyes of a certain slumbering red head lying still under the top bunk of his poor excuse for a bed. Yawning quietly, the figure slowly sat up and played with a flaming lock of red hair dangling just between his half closed eyes.

Ambling through his near empty room, the boy continued to absentmindedly toy with his strand of hair just as he turned the rusted doorknob and pulled open the heavy metal concealment, revealing a cheery face which he unfortunately knew only too well.

"Hiya, Tala!" The light green haired boy locked the very surprised Russian into a suffocating bear hug before attempting to plant a big French smooch on Tala's left cheek. "I LOOOVVEEEE YOOOOUUUUUU!!"

"What th-!" Oliver's victim of over-smelling paint thinner flung him off impulsively after overcoming his evident shock of being held in that loving way by a boy. He then turned to the left and ran directly out of the room and down the hall, a million questions racing through his mind.

"HUG ME TALA!! HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

The horror of having to listen to the Frenchman's plea of very inappropriate camaraderie gave him the incentive to move faster, just to the point of losing his concentration on which he was headed to and thus led him into an inevitable collision with a tall, muscular being. Unable to absorb the force of bumping into someone whose chest hair was as dry and dandruff filled as Boris' back, Tala stumbled to the corresponding wall, nearly knocked unconscious while his other, bigger resident simply stood there, staring down at him completely unscratched.

"Oh that was just so uncouth!"

Tala watched with growing befuddlement as a pink robe-wearing Robert proceeded calmly down the hall without sparing him a second glance. Speechless, the red head stood up gingerly, eyeing the incredulous presence of the German with widening eyes. He then shook his head after using every fiber in his body to block out the unpleasant image of seeing Robert nearly naked and turned his focus down the hallway once more.

"I am not going crazy...I am not going crazy..." Tala repeated repulsively under his breath. "It's just the after effects of accidentally eating Ian's home-cooked Kenny burgers...nothing else..."

His convincing was cut short when a shrill, high-pitched girl-scream greeted his ultra-sensitive ears. Compelled, Tala picked up the signal and started running towards the sound, descending the nearby crooked stairs and tripping over his own feet.

'Dammit! This is not how –'

Rebuking himself didn't prevent a robust hand from clasping onto his wrist, pulling him up like clean laundry. At first he thought the firm grip could only belong to that chest hair guy whom he bumped into during his escape, but fell agape when he came face-to-face with a sneering girl rather than the he-man he had previously encountered.

"Why hello, Tala."

His captor said benignly, not letting go. She stood a few inches shorter than him, wearing a white t-shirt where the words 'Bush is an idiot' were embroidered. Immediately Tala recognized the ginger-haired nerd girl.

"You're that American bitch-" Tala pointed with his free hand at the darkening face.

"Just who are you calling a bitch you transvestite!" Emily balled her free hand into a stone hard weapon of mass destruction, directing it towards the head of her hostage.

"Now, now...let's not be pulling at each other's ##$#$."

Both of them turned in unison towards the voice, whereupon they both shared a hard knock on the head. Emily cursed loudly while the interjector, Robert, looked down at them, grinning. Tala managed to retrieve his hand from the savage animal and run away before tension returns, his head already hardened by all the times Boris sucker punched him.

'How did they get here? Why did that bitch call me a transvestite? How dare she mock me! What if she's telling the truth?! Is there really something wrong with the way I look? Maybe it's my up turned nose, my hair – or maybe...oh shit! I knew I should've told Voltaire to lay off his drag queen tactics – especially on me!'

After what seemed like hours of tireless running, Tala finally reached Boris' secret living room, the place where he could have sworn the scream came from. He yanked open the transparent door- and was perplexed to find the wooden chairs inside arrayed in 2 perfect rows, upon which seated the behinds of some very familiar yet scary people. He watched as Boris sat perched on a leather armchair, his less than pretty face being viewed openly by his unlucky audience.

"Why Tala! So nice of you to join us." His mentor's voice was strangely high-pitched, too high, almost Mariah-like, as he gestured to an empty seat beside a blond boy called Enrique. Too confused to disobey, the newcomer walked obediently to the chair, all eyes in the room following his every step. Robert entered soon after, still clad in the revealing robe, much to everyone's dismay.

"As I was saying –"

Boris continued his speech and for the first time since he got here, Tala noticed what his teacher of ten years was wearing. A pair of green, spandex tights under an oversized neon-coloured Hawaiian shirt, accessorized with two gold hoop earrings protruding from each earlobe. Just to make sure his vision wasn't severely screwed, Tala rubbed his eyes, but was still presented with Boris' bad fashion sense.

"Am I in the twilight zone?" Tala asked ambivalently. The person sitting next to him grinned feverishly.

"I don't know...do you want to?"

Enrique then winked at the terrified boy, growling coyly. Shuddering, Tala turned away abruptly and tried to get engrossed in whatever shit Boris had to say. Bored, he started to study the man's Tyson-inspired outfit, tracing the neon shirt, hoping that the badly girlfriend-deprived Italian would leave him alone. After a second of intricate observing, Tala started pitying himself.

There he was, forced to give a damn about Boris' clothes, no knowledge of what the hell was going on, nearly wetting his pants, seen a German immodestly stripped, all the while sitting next to a male who's probably hitting on him. He had never felt so alone all his life.

"– Therefore, when the BBA comes to pick you up at the end of the summer, you will all be well-rested, well-informed, and mildly drunk." The director- turned-she-male's voice raised several unadjusted octaves as enthusiastic applause spread throughout the vast room.

"W-what?! They are going to stay here?!" Tala stood up upon reflex, knocking his chair down with a startling crash. All heads turned his way as Robert repeated his famous catchphrase.

"Y-you h-h-have hurt-ed my feelings you bastard!" A tear streaked Gary burst into tears, his back being pat by an embarrassed Lee.

"Well, like, isn't that what you'd do if you were facing child molestation charges?" Boris scoffed, running his fingers through his salon-washed purple hair with newfound ease. Silence fell across the room, muting the cheers. Boris stood up looking at them in all his possible glory, desperately thinking of a witty and non-gay comeback.

"Erm...I'm on weed."

Agreeing chatter replaced the speechlessness of the audience, as several 'I knew it's were heard. Boris grinned his scary grin, got out his llama- covered suitcase, and opened the door. Tala's mouth dropped open, from which poured out the words he had once thought not even God could force him to say.

"No! You can't! Don't abandon me!" He shouted. His cries were not heard as Boris skipped towards the hallway. Knowing that he could never stoop so low as to actually touch him, Tala thought desperately for a way to get his mentor back.

"Bryan!" He flung a finger towards Bryan, who had a surprised expression on his face, along with a KFC fried chicken stuck in his mouth. "I command you to stop Boris!"

Bryan looked taken back by that remark, his teeth ripping off the chicken flesh dangerously.

"Just because I'm emotionless doesn't mean I don't have dignity too!" The pale boy screamed, taking his Canadian-delivered bucket of KFC away from public view. He then sat on the floor, crossed his legs, folded his arms, and refused to move.

"Tala you idiot! Now you've shattered the spirits of two already mentally impaired people!" Mariah exclaimed and threw an encyclopedia at the red head, missing his arm by an inch. Tala was too lost to bitch slap her. The time has come, he thought. I must surrender my status and seek help from...Dr. Phil.

Sitting back on his chair, Tala buried his face in his arms sadly as Emily's belly dancing de-graced the air.

Once again Boris had succeeded in making his life worse than Hell.

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