I take a breath. The sickness is still there. I take another, deeper, trying to calm my rapidly fraying nerves.
A Jedi is always calm.
Right, well, I'm no regular Jedi. I sit on the edge of the bed, and lean my head in my palms. To my horror, I have to stifle a sob. There's homesickness, which I had combated years ago. But then there was what I feeling now. An intense pain from being ripped from not just my world, but my time. My home, wherever in the galaxy that was.
I don't feel the tears, but rather, smell them. The salty warmth invading my nose.
And I had met him. Him. My father. He was younger than I was, a mere 21 years old. And so innocent looking, joking and laughing with the other Jedi's and padawans.
It had made me sick to see it. So depressing in that I knew the outcome and in some twisted way knew why I was here. Why the force had sent me here. To change the fate of my father. But how could I? Knowing all I did, expecting to change him when I didn't know him, didn't know why he had changed in the first place.
I look up, and walk across to the fresher. I wash my face, staring for a long time into the mirror. I understand now why the elders back home had been slow to trust. Slow to rely on me. It could be Anakin Skywalker looking back at me from that mirror, not myself. To have witnessed the original downfall of the man who would become the bane of the universe, and have his son come traipsing in, looking exactly like him, with the temper and patience to match (that being, none) and with stories of being on an outer rim planet all his life (which, by coincidence, was also his father's home planet) which explains the delay in joining the cause… I could suddenly understand their reluctance. What if I had been a spy? A pawn in Vadar's, and therefore the Emperor's, plans.
I shake my head, and go into the kitchen. Back at home, it would be messy with parts from Han's ship, where Chewbacca kept dismantling various bits. Leia would sometimes leave a cloak or transmitter when she left in a hurry to deal with some diplomatic cause. Here, it was empty and pristine. The kitchen of a Jedi.
A Jedi will not own any personal possessions.
It made me uncomfortable, and I set about getting plates and cups out of the cupboards and placing them around the room. Standing back, I survey the result. No where near as homey, but better. For now anyway, who knew how long I'll be here.
I sit at the counter, and fiddle with a glass. I think back to earlier, when I left the company of some members of the Jedi council in such a hurry. Seeing Anakin had thrown me off balance, and I had needed space. So I feigned sickness and returned here, my designated quarters until such a time we could figure out why I was here.
But seeing my father had answered any questions as to where I was, or when rather, and why. And I had wanted to be alone.
I sigh again, and swipe my hair out my eyes. It was getting long and floppy, and to my slight annoyance, looked exactly liked Anakin's. 'Like father, like son' I think mildly, but then frown as I wonder what else could be 'like father, like son'.
Brushing that thought away, I check the time. Another hour before I have to meet the council again. A Jedi was picking me up to take me to the meeting hall.
I cross my fingers in vain hope that it wouldn't be Anakin…my father.
……………………
It wasn't Anakin. It was Obi-wan. A lot younger, but still very recognisable. His eyes were different though. Happier, content…not haunted by hurts he has received over the years. It must be nice knowing your padawan is a great Jedi, someone to be proud of. 'Too bad he turns evil in a few years'. The snide thought came from no where, and I see a slight frown cross Obi-wan's features for a second, as if he senses my dark thoughts about my father, his student. A corner of my mouth turns up, in what I assume he'll take as a smile.
He does, and introduces himself.
"Good afternoon, master Jedi. I am Obi-Wan Kenobi. I'll be escorting you to the council."
He looks at me in expectance, and I realise he wants to know who I am. Damn, I hadn't thought about the fact that the Jedi council will want my name.
"Luke Solo." The lie slips out of my mouth like slime. I hate lying, but for now I feel I must protect my father. If they know too much now, it may be a catalyst towards Vadar's birth.
Obi-Wan looks at me a little longer and I know without a doubt he knows I'm lying to him. I hate it, my former mentor, although I knew him a very short time, was close to me. He was a link to my father. He was a substitute father for a time. But I still feel it is necessary.
He blinks, then nods, and motions for me to follow. We walk briskly down the corridors, nodding at Jedi masters, receiving nods from padawans and younglings.
"I was going to introduce my padawan to you, Anakin Skywalker-"
I freeze slightly, and stumble in my next step, cursing my ineptitude. I'll need to toughen up in the next five minutes so that when anyone mentions my father's name, I won't spell out my emotions towards the rash young Jedi.
Obi-Wan frowns slightly but continues, "However he seems to have disappeared. Maybe another time, perhaps."
"Yes, perhaps," I reply, and look at him out the corner of my eyes.
He looks at me, not with suspicion, but with extreme curiosity. After all, I am a Jedi, anyone can sense that who is force sensitive. However, no one here knows me, and here is where all the Jedi are trained. Where am I from? Who am I? And why do I seem familiar to them? And powerful…
I grin slightly, suddenly wanting to tell him who I am. But I know that is not a wise choice, and keep silent.
We arrive at a set of huge, beautifully carved doors. I glance at them, before following Obi-Wan through into the room. The chairs are arranged in a circle around an open space in the center. Obi-Wan walks to what is obviously his chair, where a young man stands behind it.
"Anakin, what are doing here? Why are there padawans here?" Obi-Wan looks at his Jedi student suspiciously.
"We're all allowed to be here Master. Ask Master Yoda. Besides, no one wants to miss this." Anakin grins, and looks at me.
I feel like a piece of meat thrown into a cage of carnivores.
"Miss what, exactly?" I know Obi-Wan knows 'what exactly', but obviously disagrees with Anakin's blatant rudeness.
"The Jedi from no where, Master. It's intriguing, even you must admit." He turns to face me, and bows slightly. "I'm Anakin Skywalker."
Was he really this rude to older Jedi? Even I knew to be respectful to an older Jedi, never mind his Master. But Obi-Wan shakes his head and smiles slightly, looking for all the world, bemused.
"I know who you-, I'm uh…" I forget my name for a second, and look closely at him.
I narrow my eyes at his appearance. He looks like Han after a 'secret meeting with the princess'. Ruffled hair, clothes in mild disarray, the corners of his mouth, turned upwards in a slight smirk. He looks at me, and I gaze back for a moment, before raising an eyebrow and motioning to the corner of my mouth.
He frowns, wiping his hand over the small blotch of pink where a set of female lips had left their mark. I look away, noticing him staring at me intently. All signs of smugness now forgotten.
I hear Obi-Wan introducing me as Luke Solo, but I look away, edging towards the center where people motion me to be.
'He is so unlike Vadar, they could be two different people.' The thought enters my head unbidden, and it saddens me. I feel the loneliness swell up again and for once would love to hear even R2D2 babble on at me in his electronic code.
"Sad you are. Miss home you do."
The voice silences the room, and I look up into the smiling eyes of Yoda. He also looks younger, but not by much.
"Be careful, sadness can lead to fear. Most awkward that would be, hmm?"
I smile despite myself. The riddled way in which he spoke was comforting. Nights by the fire, him telling me Jedi history tales sprang to my mind from memory.
"Yes. I miss my home. I'm not sure of my place here, although I'm starting to figure out just why I am here, in this world."
I hear a murmur of voices, and look around me. Some of the elders look at me in concern, padawans in curiosity.
I look back at them. I do not share their concerns for I do not know what they are. I come from a time when none of them exist, and their concerns will get them no where.
"Please, state your name." Yoda leans forward slightly, as if he is excepting a certain answer.
I feel uncertain as I answer, I do not like to lie to this green creature in front of me. I know without a doubt he already knows who I am.
"Luke" I reply simply.
"Hmm, Luke what?"
"Luke S-Solo" I hear myself stumble on my fake name, and curse inwardly.
"Hmm, indeed." He leans back now, gazing at me evenly. The murmurs start again, and I can hear the wariness in their voices.
I glance at Obi-Wan and Anakin. They are looking at me closely, trying to figure me out. As I return my eyes to Yoda, he turns his head back to me. He was also looking at them, watching my gaze carefully.
He chuckles slightly, and the room is quiet again.
"Hmm, know who you are, I do. Your name eludes me not. But you say nothing to protect someone. Someone from this world. But a time will come when you must protect the people, and not the secret."
The room is deathly silent, and I can hear myself breathing. I blink at him, not sure what to say.
"The force is strong with you. Goodness shrouds you. Lie well, you do not."
I feel myself relax somewhat. At least he knew I wasn't an enemy. Discretely, I look out the corners of eyes; every stare is riveted on me. Apart from one. Obi-Wan looks steadily at Yoda.
………………………..
Somehow, the boys' coming through had brought memories. Triggered something in him, which should not yet be there. Memories of a swamp, a desolate planet. Dagobah. The name sounded strange and foreign on his tongue.
He remembered a meeting. A meeting with the young Skywalker…Luke. Training him. Watching him grow in his frustration and sadness. An uneasy resemblance to his father troubling the old Jedi. The familiarity disconcerting.
All these and more, swirled around his head, as he tried to order them, analyse each figment of thought, of memory.
He frowned suddenly. Telling the young Skywalker to get rid of the enemy. Make a choice, or the dark side would win.
Make the choice against his father.
Anakin Skywalker.
He sighed, standing from his sitting space, and made his way towards the door.
'Think this over at my quarters, I will. Find a solution we must' he thought, quietly strolling away, a frown marring his features.
………………………….
He sat still, the morning sun warming his back. For all the world he looked like the picture perfect Jedi. Legs crossed, hands resting lightly on his knees, back straight.
But his eyebrows were creased, deep in thought. His mouth pouting slightly, troubled by the notions swirling around his head. His eyes were straight ahead, revealing nothing of the confusion within.
'He knew something. I could tell' he thought, blinking, and turning his gaze to a building in the far distance. The Senatorial Complexes and apartments.
Anakin Skywalker sat in deep contemplation, his thoughts on two people; Padme ('for obvious reasons' he smiled), and the new Jedi, Luke Solo. He frowned again.
'Well, that's not even his name. Even Yoda knew that'.
Luke was strange. Yet familiar.
Comfortingly familiar.
When Luke had raised an eyebrow and touched the corner of his mouth meaningfully, it had made him want to lead him away and spill his miserable guts out. Marriage, anger and all.
'I'm in love, against the rules, the Jedi Order, with my wife…Padme. I love her, oh gods, I love her'.
It troubled him. There was something about Luke he couldn't quite put his finger on…
Then the power. This was a powerful Jedi, anyone could feel that.
A Jedi who had been taught, trialled and tested to a high degree. But who was he?
Yoda was right though. Luke exuded a certain air of 'goodness' which caught all of the Jedi in their suspicious curiosity.
But who was he?