It's Gonna Be Ok

The ride back to my dormitories is silent and I can practically see how Tristan is shutting down more and more the closer we get to Yale. Any attempt to conversation is futile because some mainstream music is blasting from the radio, so I spend the ride trying to think of anything else than what just has happened but fail at it miserably. To my relief Paris isn't home when we come back, I'm saying to my relief because neither one of us have the energy left for yet another confrontation, not that it would be as bad as the previous one but still there would be questions asked that I don't have the answer to quite yet. Without a word Tristan walks straight into my room, after entering the main room in my suit, and since I don't want him to pull away from me anymore than he already has I quickly follow.

Upon entering my room I see him standing staring out through the window lost in thoughts.

"Tristan, please talk to me."

"There is nothing to say."

"The hell it isn't."

"Your mom hasn't spoken to you in months, why is this different from that other than you give a shit!"

"Because I still have the hope she will come around once the baby is born. It isn't like she has disowned or anything else of that nature and no matter what you say, they are still your parents, and you do give a shit."

"The hearing problem must run in the family because in case you didn't notice I have no longer any parents. Anyway I don't see how any of this is your business."

"It's my business because I love you, you're hurting and I want to be there for you."

"Oh really? How come you didn't care enough to tell me I was going to be a father!"

"I know what you're trying to do and it isn't working. I'm not leaving you so just drop it."

"Maybe you should. What the hell do you see in me anyway? Not even my parents think I'm worth the time of day. Why should you? After all it's my fault you're fighting with your family and not being able to finish Yale. Let's face it since the day I walked into your life I've caused you nothing but pain."

"Just cut the crap Tristan. If it weren't for you I wouldn't be standing here feeling as I do."

"My point exactly. You would be off somewhere having a blast with a bright future and not one as a teenage mom"

"No I wouldn't, what you don't seem to understand is that you saved me from myself in high school and for the record I don't regret a moment I spent with you."

"Now you're the one bullshitting. You and I were just benefiting back then and I don't see how that could have helped you one bit, sure there where great fucks but other than that I fail to see any connection"

"The connection is that it allowed me to be happy and free for the first time in a long time. Thanks to you dragging me out partying and showing me a good time I got the energy I needed to manage Chilton."

"Like that had something to do with me."

"It had. And get this into your thick head; your parents are idiots if they can't see how great you're. I mean you stood up for me today without even thinking, not many people would do that."

Tristan sneers at me like he doesn't believe a word I'm saying and that is when it really hit me, for the first time, what a number his parents have done on him. Not just tonight but during his entire upbringing always pawning him off to the nanny of the day and making him feel unwanted.

Ever since I stopped talking he has gone back to his staring. Not knowing what to do I snake my arms around him from behind and lean my head against his back. We stand like that me holding him for about half an hour before I even get some kind of reaction from him showing me he notices me being there. He turns around and hugs me looking like a lost boy as he clings onto our embrace like his life depended on it. Soon I feel something wet on my neck and realize Tristan is silently crying but for each minute that pass his body is shaking more and more from suppressed sobs. I pull out of our embrace, leading him to the bed where I sit him down while I go and change into something more comfortable in this case a pair of sweatpants and a big t-shirt.

After I've changed I proceed to rummage through his suitcase settling on a pair of pyjama pants. When I re-enter my room I discover that Tristan hasn't moved an inch since I left and has given up his fight against his sobs and are now crying uncontrollably. Seeing he is in a daze all too familiar to me I know he won't be able to change clothes himself so I undress him, revealing the body which I love, only to put on his pyjama bottoms. I leave his clothes in a pile on the floor before guiding him in underneath the covers and positioning myself opposite to him wrapping my arms around his frame trying to offer comfort. It's not just a little scary seeing my rock break down completely but at the same time I know he has kept all of this inside way too long and tonight was just the last straw.

"Why don't they want me?" he asks in a childlike voice.

"Shush, shush", I sooth him rubbing his back the best way I can considering the speed bump, also known as my stomach, separating us.

After a while Tristan falls asleep from pure exhaustion and not long after I follow suit since the day has taken its tow on me too.

The next morning I'm woken up from my slumber by the damn cell phone of mine. I try to get up as quiet as possible but being pregnant it's not the easiest task, nevertheless I succeed in my aim not to wake him up. Grabbing my cell from my desk I make my way out to the living room before answering, not even bothering to check the caller-id.

"Hello."

"Rory, it's me."

"Mom to what do I owe this honour?" I ask sarcastic.

"Ok I deserved that."

"Oh you do and so much more but I don't have all day so let's just cut to the chase, what do you want?"

"To talk."

"Go ahead."

"In person."

"Hate to break it to you but I've other things to do, like go flat hunting and taking care of my husband after that lovely display yesterday."

"Rory, please," she begs.

"Fine" I sign. "Can you meet me at the café four blocks from here in an hour?" I hate the fact that I can't resist mom's begging.

"Sure I'll be there. See ya then."

"Yeah see ya."

After we hang up I jump into the shower getting ready for our meeting. I figure Tristan needs all the sleep he can get so I decide against waking him up and just leave a note on the desk saying where I'm off to.

On my way to the cafe I walk pass an apartment complex with a vacancy sign, and I go in to have a look. The flat in question is a fairly spacious newly renovated 2 room flat, with fake wooden floors in all the rooms except the bathroom, which has a waterproof light blue floor. The wallpapers all go in a light tone of blue, yellow or green. The bathroom has tiled walls and a bathtub. Although the kitchen isn't all that modern it has a working stove and fridge, which is enough for me. I stand there admiring it probably with a wide smile on my lips when I'm approached by a man in his mid sixties.

"Hello miss my name is Scott Hansen and I'm the owner of this complex and by the look on your face I take it that you like what you are seeing."

"I'm Rory and yes I'm in love with it. What's the rent?"

"500 a month."

The instant I hear the number I know it's too expensive for us and disappointment must be painted all over my face.

"Rory, are you alright?"

"Yeah, thank you for your time Mr Hansen but this is too expensive for us."

"Us?"

"My husband, me and our future little one. I know this is rude asking but you don't happen to know anywhere cheaper where there are vacancies?"

"Now wait here a minute, maybe we can work something out. The old janitor of this place is retiring in a couple of week's time and I need someone to fill that position. Now I should warn you that it doesn't pay anything but you will be able to live to a reduced rent instead and if I have to guess on top of my head I would say maybe for 250 a month since the job isn't all that time consuming I don't think I can knock anything more off the rent. But as I said it's just little things that need to be done and they can mostly be done in the evenings, so you can have an ordinary paying day job too. Are you interested?"

"Are you kidding me! Yes. Why would you do that?"

"I need to find someone fast and if your husband is anything like you I think it will be fine."

"Thank you so much for the offer Mr Hansen."

"Please call me Scott."

"Scott, I hate to ask you for this but can I've a couple of days to talk it over with my husband and maybe show him the place?"

"Of course. How about we set up an appointment for you to see the flat together say the day after tomorrow?"

"That would be great. Is 10 am good for you?"

"10 am will be fine."

"Good, I'll see you then Scott. And thanks again you're being very kind."

"You're welcome and bye."

The rest of the way to the meeting with mom I'm walking on clouds, if just Tristan agrees with me we have somewhere to live is screaming in my head.

The sight of mom sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in front of her brings me back to earth though. I buy myself a Danish and an own cup of java before joining her at the table.

"Hi, so what's this meeting about?" I ask straight to the point.

"You're drinking decaf?" mom asks surprised

"No you know I hate decaf, its plain coffee."

"But Rory the baby..."

"Is fine as long as I don't overdo it, but we are getting a bit off track here, why did you want to see me?"

"To apologize".

"That I wasn't expecting. Why now? You have had plenty of time getting over the shock and just pick up the phone, like you obviously still know how to do, just to ask how life was treating me."

"I know, please Rory just hear me out."

"I'm listening."

"It wasn't just the fact that you wound up pregnant that made me blow a fuse when you told me about said pregnancy. I think it started the day you graduated Chilton and got caught with Tristan in the gazebo. You see all of the sudden you weren't my innocent little Rory anymore, I could actually see some of my rebellious streak in you and it scared me. Then you ran away over the summer and came back all changed both inside out and the picture got clearer. The last straw was the day you came to Stars Hollow saying you were pregnant because then I didn't see just some rebellious streaks in you no I saw the whole damn thing and I didn't know how to handle it so I pushed you away. Rory, I was scared shitless.

"And you don't think I was? I had just done the hardest thing I ever had to do in my entire life and you just shut me out."

"And for that I'm sorrier than you will ever know. You see you were right about all you said yesterday. I didn't want to see the real you just the perfect daughter I wanted to have in every way and that's not humanly possibly."

"This is all fine and dandy but you've had months to figure this out, so why did you decide that today was the day?"

"Because yesterday was a wake up call for me when I saw the way my parents were treating you realization that I had done the exact same thing hit me. I had turned into my parents the moment you didn't follow the plan I had made up for you and I don't want that. I would like nothing more than you to forgive me? Do you think you have it in you to do that?"

"I don't know mom. If you had asked me 3 months ago yeah, but now it's gone so much time and I just can't forget the way you turned your back on me when I needed you the most, just because I messed up."

"Yet again I'm so sorry. I've missed you lots and I want to be a part of your life and with whoever that may include, please believe me Rory."

"I've missed you too, but it's too little too late just to pick up where we left off, not that was a great place to be at for a start. Mom, I've changed a lot from the Rory you knew, I don't know if I ever was entirely that way, so if you are serious about wanting to be a part of my life again you need to get to know me, the real one this time around. Do you think you can do that?"

"Yes, I can."

"Then I'm willing to give it a try."

"I'm so happy you said that."

Mom gets up and gives me a big hug.

"I've missed you so much kiddo", she whispers in my ear.

"I'm sorry to do this to you but I have to go back home."

"Oh yeah how is Tristan holding up after yesterday?"

"I don't know. He was still asleep when I left."

"Send my regards."

"Will do. Bye."

"Bye"

Leaving mom behind me I have a feeling everything is going to be ok.

TBC