I Tried- Chapter 21
Bonds, Bonding, and Good-Byes
Reno woke up feeling woozy, as if he had been drinking for days straight and finally passed out. At least his head did. His body still felt foreign, as though he'd never really used it before. His head was un-clouding, only slightly… he had to be somewhere… Suzanna.
Reno jumped up off the couch, pushing a pillow and a blanket to the floor. Unfortunately, he appeared to have left his stomach on the couch, it caught up to him a moment later, and it wasn't happy. The urge to vomit overwhelmed him. A shadow moved just to the side. Reno snapped his head over, earning a stronger sense of vertigo, even though his feet were planted firmly on the ground. Everything else was moving so slowly, or was he that much faster?
His stomach persisted to rebel, putting a hand over his mouth, Reno stared at the big Turk on the balcony. Rude pointed seeming to understand Reno wanted to know where the bathroom is. Reno turned and slammed into the wall before making it to the toilet. He retched twice before finally getting sick. Though his stomach felt better, he wished that he hadn't. What came out of his mouth was green; it almost looked like a new glowstick, the way it threw light around the bathroom. Aside from that, it burned like acid in his throat.
From behind him, the light flicked on. Two large hands helped him steady so he wouldn't fall forward. "Relax, it's normal." Rude's voice was harsh and grating, it was little wonder why he didn't use it much. His voice was as intimidating to hear as he was to look at. The bald man must have been injured somehow to make him sound like that.
Reno found the other Turk's voice to be strangely comforting, imperfection making it perfect for the true harshness of this place. He wasn't left to his thoughts long, he got sick again.
Rude helped Reno to stand, guiding the younger man to the balcony.
The fresh air felt really good, it did wonders to take the cloudy feeling from his head. Now, finally with a clear head, Reno turned about on his own. He looked up at Rude. "Thank you, you don't even know me, man. I owe you."
Rude almost smiled and held up a cigarette in-between the two of them.
Reno laughed. "So, you read minds er somethin'?" He took the cigarette eagerly, lighting it and enjoying a deep long drag off the paper.
The bald man shook his head. "Jus' people."
While they smoked in silence, Reno looked in the apartment. It was nice inside, truth be told, the place was cream colored with black furniture. He almost laughed wondering how long it would take him and Suzanna to turn the place into an unholy mess. When he got her. Reno opened his mouth to mention the matter to Rude when his door opened.
Reeve and Scarlet walked in, followed closely by Tseng. All three were carrying bags and made their way into the kitchen. Reno watched their heads bob up and down a bit behind the bar before smashing his cigarette out in the ashtray. He stood thankfully steady and walked back into the apartment. He listened as Rude slid the door shut behind them. "What are you guys doin'?"
"They come furnished Reno, that doesn't mean with food." Scarlet responded, putting a container of baby formula away.
Reno's eyes widened, "all this is food?"
Tseng hefted a bag at Reno who once again shocked himself at his own reflexes by catching it. The Wutain noticed Reno's wide eyes and laughed. "Not all of it. Those are clothes, if you hate them blame Scarlet."
"You can take a shower in a second." Reeve commented from the sink where he was filling a coffee pot. "Gotta make sure you're alright."
Reno blinked and plopped back down on the couch. He curled his lip when he noticed how messy he had made it. It didn't even look cleanable, all covered in a thick, mako slime.
Reeve pulled one of the two chairs over to sit in front of Reno. He held one hand up. "Follow my finger Reno." While Reno watched Reeve's finger move from left to right and back Reeve frowned. "That's a bit odd."
"Wha- what?" Reno's mouth felt dry again. "What do you mean?"
Reeve poignantly ignored the question. "Did you have any strange nightmares or visions while you were down in the lab?"
Reno fell silent, he looked down at his feet, suddenly engrossed in his shoes.
"Reno," Scarlet sat next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Reno, it's alright. We just need to know."
Reno fought the urge to lean into Scarlet like the scared child he actually was. "I- I just had a dream that I haven't had in a long time. And…" He looked up, the others were staring at him, quite interested in whatever he was about to say. "I saw Jenova." He blurted out.
The word was like he had set off a firework in front of the Turks. For the first time, Reno watched them all express emotion at once. Though an outsider may have not noticed it, every eyebrow raised slightly at the word.
"How did you know about that?" Tseng asked, his tone suspicious. "You don't even have a Jenova glow to your eyes so how do you know?"
Reno blinked, backing up at the harsh question. He shook his head. "I- I…" He pulled his feet up to the couch, pressing his knees into his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "Wha- what did he do to me" Reno asked. For the first time since he met the Turks he looked his age.
Scarlet put her arm around the scared 16 year old's shoulders. "Shhh. It's alright. We just didn't think Suzi would have told you about that. She never really talked about things like that with us. It's alright, don't worry about it. Most of us have a blue green glow to our eyes, that's what Tseng was talking about. But your eyes are so light colored, of course the green stands out more." She glared at Tseng, patting Reno's shoulder. "Why don't you go take a shower? Rude will stay here to keep an eye on you."
"I can't." Reno pulled away from her slightly, angry at being so afraid. "I have to get my daughter, is Trigg okay?"
Reeve grimaced. "She's with Padre, perfectly fine. I went to get her myself, but ah, Padre isn't very fond of me."
Reno's eyes narrowed, everything he was looking at gained a sharper green edge to it. Maybe the mako reacted to his mood. "What did you do?"
Reeve took a deep breath in and let it out in a tired sigh. "I hurt Mariah pretty badly when we were kids. Stole some things. It was stupid for me to do, but I was inducted into the Turks shortly after and never really got a chance to apologize."
Padre hated ShinRa so badly, it was little wonder he still spoke of Reeve with such malice. Reno's mouth drew a tight line. "Fine. Good enough. I suppose he's not going to be thrilled with me either is he?"
"To be honest, I doubt it." Reeve responded.
Reno shrugged, standing. "Well, too bad, I'm getting my daughter."
"You can't, Reno. Not yet at least. We have to watch you for twenty-four hours." Reeve said, earning a glare. "She's safe, alright, another twelve hours isn't going to kill you. Just, take a shower, get dressed, you have to get chipped before you go anywhere anyway."
Reno took a sharp breath in, so much for never going to the labs again. Though he wanted to fight about leaving Suzanna a minute more, he knew he'd lost. Reno got up to take a shower.
Reno dried his hair off. He wiped the steam off the bathroom mirror and looked at his eyes. What greeted him wasn't exactly what he had expected. The light was green. His eyes actually glowed. Reno flipped the lights off, and stared at his reflection in shock. He felt a bit like a jack-o-lantern. His eyes glowed brightly in the dark. They cast a glow that tapered off at his nose, though he could still make out every detail of his own face. The room was clear, even with the lights off, everything was outlined mako green.
Reno flipped the light back on and rummaged through the clothing bag. The clothes he had peeled off before getting in the shower were no longer glowing, it appeared as if a thick green film was forming on them. Scarlet, at least, had good taste in street clothing. Plain dark jeans and a grey tee-shirt. After getting dressed, Reno remembered that he had been shot in the arm less then twenty four hours ago.
He moved his hand to where Reeve had shot him, there was no mark, no soreness, nothing to indicate that he had ever been wounded. He rotated the arm for a moment, laughing slightly. Reno's back and neck felt fine as well. Though he was mentally worn out, Reno's body didn't agree. Physically, it was as if he could have run forever.
It was time to leave the bathroom, Reno decided. He was a Turk now, like it or not and he would get used to it. His life and his daughter's life depended on that. Rude was overlooking Midgar from the balcony, a cigarette burning in his hand. The big man had to have heard him, but he didn't turn around. Reno smiled for the first time, Rude wasn't at all what he had expected. The man was calm, quiet, collected, good thing too cause he looked as though he could bench all of three hundred pounds or more.
Standing next to Rude, Reno lit a cigarette from the pack Rude had on the table. He looked out at Midgar, struck with the beauty of it for the first time. "Wow, who would have thought that this could be connected to the slums?" He didn't need mako vision to appreciate the full glory of Midgar. It was lit up, complementing the starry sky with still, bursting colors. The lights of the towers touched the sky above, giving the illusion of an endless ball of stars.
"Yeah. That's what I thought." Rude opened a beer and drank. "I figured you wouldn't want me to smoke in the apartment with your kid and all."
"When will I get to go back to get her?" Reno leaned over the balcony thinking how muchSuzanna would love the view.
"After you get micro-chipped, you'll see her before noon." The bald man said. They sat in comfortable silence for a long time.
"This means we're kinda like partners?" Reno asked after a while.
"Yup." Rude agreed.
Reno swallowed. He wasn't used to someone who was so silent, and he was nervous, feeling the need to talk. "So what's your real name?"
Rude gave the younger man a very slight smirk. "You first, newbie."
Reno's name wasn't exactly something that inspired terror in a person. "Renald Vickaler." He said lowly. The big man laughed.
"Almost as nice as Rudolph Michael." Came the offhanded comment in a puff of white smoke.
It took Reno a moment before he realized that Rude had told him his name and said name was the last thing he would have placed with that man. "You shit'n me?"
"I shit you not my friend."
Friend. Reno and Rude eased into a pattern of conversation that Reno had barely shared with anyone. The big man was open; his dry sense of humor was always just at the surface, though sometimes hard to notice. Reno felt very comfortable, sitting like this and talking. It was as if he had known Rude his whole life. "Thought you never talked?" He asked, breaking another long silent spell. Reno remembered the others worrying if Reno and Rude would get along.
The big man shrugged. "I only talk to people worth talking to."
The next morning the alarm caused Reno to jolt out of bed. It was a high pitched sound, one that hurt his ears. He couldn't tell if it was due to his mako enhancement or if some sadistic human had actually created something so annoying.
He hadn't had much of an appetite that morning, remembering that he was going to go see Hojo yet again. The others assured him that this would be fast and relatively painless. It was the "relatively" part that really bothered Reno the most. Hojo hated him for unknown reasons and seemed to be very eager to cause Reno more pain. He could feel his hairs stand on end at the back of his neck as he made his way down to the basement. He doubted he would have made it without Rude gliding along next to him.
I…see you.
Reno stopped near a door. Had he been imagining things? Reno glared at a solid steel door; he could swear he heard a steady hissing coming from it. A dry, scratching, feminine voice, Reno knew he heard it.
"Leave that room alone." Rude muttered, he hadn't quit walking and the space between them grew.
The hiss continued, but Reno turned and shuffled quickly up to Rude. "You-ah- you didn't hear anything did you?"
Rude shook his head, doing very little to raise Reno's spirits.
The process had been quick. Twenty minutes after walking into the lab Reno woke up and rubbed an itching place on the back of his neck. There he could feel something small and square, though it was too deep near his spine for him to really get a grip on it.
Hojo was muttering behind him, looking at a small monitor. "47956 move to the other end of the room."
It took Reno a few minutes to understand that Hojo was referring to him. More the a little disturbed at the fact that Hojo could remember such a long number Reno walked to the other end of the room. He could see, from over the doctor's shoulder, a little white dot moving slightly. A tracking chip had been implanted in Reno's neck.
Then Reno saw a smile he would rather forget and Hojo pushed a button.
He screamed, pain blinded him, shooting all up and down his spine, immediately, Reno was on his knees, struggling to breathe. The pain was over before Reno hit the ground, but the effects lingered; his heart fluttered angrily in his chest, his breathing was ragged. Without getting up off the floor, Reno turned his head and glared at Hojo.
"Behave and it won't happen again." Hojo then turned, picking up the phone and dialing Rufus. With a glare he flicked his hand at Reno, signaling that the young man could leave.
Shaken, Reno made haste out of the room, one hand at the back of his neck.
Reno sighed and looked out the car window. The bandanna in his pocket was wet with the sweat from his palm. Viper and Tex had agreed to meet him outside of the church and he didn't know how much he wanted to see any of them when he was like this.
He glanced over at Rude and picked at the new blue suit. It fit him alright, though the tie was something he couldn't get used to. It remained loose around his neck; the first few buttons of the white dress shirt were also undone. He lit a cigarette and noticed he was still shaking from Hojo's earlier.
Reno got the message perfectly clear. Like anyone would do with important possessions, or perhaps a show animal, he had been microchipped. If he didn't do as he was told, he was going to pay for the transgression painfully. It was a line even he wouldn't be toeing anytime in the near future.
It was too soon when Rude pulled up a block away from the church. He pulled out a magazine. "Make it quick, man."
Reno didn't get very far before Viper and Tex melted out into the alley. Reno pushed dark glasses up to his hairline. He couldn't muster a smile for them as they approached, they didn't garnish one for him either.
Reno extended his hand to Viper, who accepted it with a look of doubt on his face. "What the fuck happened, Wolf?"
"They got me. I have to go." When Reno looked over his shoulder to check on Rudeboth Viper and Tex jumped. Reno took the bandanna out and pushed the item up at Tex.
"Wolf, what's-"
Reno cut him off. "It's Reno now. Listen carefully," he handed Viper a card, leaving Tex to stare and the dark red bandanna in his hand. "This is my PHS, you need me, call."
"Wol- Reno, Why are you telling me this?" Viper scratched his head. Tex nodded in agreement, still unsure why Reno had pushed his bandanna into his hand.
"All those stories about mad scientists?" He asked not expecting the other men to answer. "You had better believe them. I just want to keep an eye out for you guys."
Tex shook his head, starting to talk but Reno waved his hand up.
"Get going, if you see me and haven't called for me..." He swallowed. "Run, just, don't even think about it." He turned to walk the rest of the way up to the church. "Oh Viper? Keep Tex's head on straight for me all right" He didn't turn around to see their faces. Reno didn't know if he could have handled that. "Good bye."
Reno pushed the church door open. It was heavy and made of cherry wood. It'd been the same since he was a child. Not much had changed except one factor. This time he was far from innocent. He didn't want to face Padre. He knew what the priest would say, and part of him didn't want to hear it. It was the truth, but it was not his choice. He walked up past the pews and stared up at the cross, doing so had never made him feel so empty before.
"Feel a burn yet, Turk?" Padre's voice startled Reno. Once again, he found himself unable to turn around.
"Don't call me that, please." Reno pleaded. He was ashamed to have Padre see him like this. With nowhere else to go, he continued to stare up at the cross.
"What are you then?" The priest snapped. His voice echoed throughout the church, bouncing off of the walls. He stalked forward to Reno, even without looking one could tell he felt angry and betrayed. "I thought that you at least had some decency left in you."
Reno turned to face Padre, his face blank. There was nothing else to do. Padre was right, and nothing Reno said could change anything.
They stared at each other a very long time. Padre looked so much older now. His eyes were red and hallow. "How much did it take to buy you, Reno?"
Reno shuddered at his tone, then he became angry as well. He thought that Padre had known him, had trusted him. Had he been that bad? "You can't think that I wanted this!" He gestured around the church, trying to get his point across. He didn't mean to sound as accusing has he did. "I did this for you! For Mar!"
Time stood still, Reno's arms dropped to his sides as Padre's eyes bore into him. "She's dead, Turk." Padre looked down for a moment in reverence. He had been blunt, and it caught Reno off guard, he just stood there was his jaw hanging open. "You were too little too late."
Reno recoiled as if he had been slapped. "Wh- Wh" Reno couldn't make his mouth work. "Dead?" The word had no meaning. It couldn't connect with Mar. She couldn't just die. She wasn't supposed to die, not after all he had been through. "But- She can't just be dead. Not after all of this. Not after I- All those things I did!" The thought was like a ball of ice in his chest. It was all for nothing.
"Yes, dead! Just like you should have been if it weren't for her" Reno had backed up to the alter, Padre advanced. He could not contain himself. It was as if he thought that yelling could help her, help him, or maybe help Reno. "She cared so much for you! She couldn't have loved you more if she had given birth to you herself! All you ever did was give her a nervous breakdown"
"You can't-" Reno stopped. Yes, Padre could blame it on Reno. Hell, he blamed himself. He hung his head. Mariah's word's echoed in his head: Why can't you just be good Reno?
"You were right, you are the Red Plague. You kill everything you touch! No wait, you only kill people stupid enough to care about you! Ashamed?" Padre asked with his eyes full of anger. Reno saw him make up his mind right there. He could no longer have pity for Reno. The more he spoke, the more he didn't want to change him. It was as if Reno had become a virus to him. Just like the Shinra.
"Yes! There are you happy?" Reno felt his eyes burn. He looked from side to side, wanting a way out.
"Have you nothing else to say? Are you just going to run away and get wasted as usual? Fine example you set for you child." Reno couldn't take the verbal attack any longer, he turned on heel from Padre. He then went up the stairs to get his daughter.
His head throbbed in pain. Reno couldn't help but wonder if Padre was right. His mother, Bethany, now Mariah, he hadn't been able to save any of them. He'd finally succeeded in pushing Padre away and the man was the closest thing to a father that Reno had ever had. Padre was a good man, he never lied, cheated or stole. Why hadn't Reno listened to him when he had the chance?
He pushed the door to his old room and looked at his daughter. She was his last chance to do right by someone. The last person in the world that really needed him. He'd be damned if he let her down. He picked up Trigger and hugged her tightly.
"Da da." She stated, giggling. She didn't care what Reno was. She only wanted him to be there. He would be this time. This time he had ShinRa money and power to use to protect her. Now no one could hurt her, not as long as he did what he was told. She was all that was left. All that mattered was getting her out of the slums; he sold his soul to do it. She wouldn't grow up like he had.
Padre was waiting where Reno had left him when he came back down the stairs. The priest's back was turned to him, his voice was unsteady. "Never come here again. You have done far more damage then you will ever be worth." Padre spat as Reno opened the door.
"I won't." Was all he could say, walking quickly out the door.