(Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. I also don't own the Ghostbusters theme song, but hey, neither did they. Look it up.)
-CHAPTER FIVE-
It had been about three days since the Titans had been nearly defeated at the hands of a particularly powerful demon. Fortunately, Raven had been able to heal them, but things had still not exactly returned to normal. More demonic possessions had occurred, at a rate of one or two a day, but they were beginning to become more frequent. They also weren't just happening to people—pets, vehicles, and even totally inanimate objects had all been possessed as well. However, none of these more recent possessions had been anywhere near as powerful as the one that nearly defeated them, or even as powerful as the very first one the Titans had encountered. This fact, combined with the sutras Raven had acquired, had made these recent possessions much easier to deal with.
The Titans were just finishing exorcising a particularly recalcitrant mailbox when Robin finally asked the question that Raven had been dreading.
"So, Raven, where did you say you got these sutra things again?"
Raven had been trying to come up with some answer that he would accept ever since she had received the sutras from Drakon—she doubted that Robin would appreciate that they had been using something provided by someone they knew virtually nothing about. Raven had eventually settled on a lie that she thought she could get away with, but still she hesitated. Robin was an experienced detective, and virtually a human lie detector. He sometimes even put her empathy to shame. Still, Raven hardened her resolve and gave him her answer.
"I made them," she said, avoiding eye contact with Robin. "It was something I found in one of my books that I thought might work, but I hadn't tested them yet. That's why I didn't use them earlier."
Raven snuck a quick glance at Robin. He didn't look convinced—even her momentary hesitation, as well as her refusal to look him in the eyes, had already told him that she was lying. However, he did not press her further. He had worked with Raven for several years now, and trusted her. If she wanted to keep the source of the sutras a secret for now, then he left that to her judgment. Besides, Beast Boy piped up before Robin could ask her any more questions.
"Who cares where she got them?" Beast Boy said. "All I need to know is that these things kick demonically-possessed ass!" The day before, he had managed to bring down a possessed bicycle that had evaded all of the other Titans, and had been in unusually high spirits, even for Beast Boy, ever since.
"Right, so where to next?" asked Cyborg, already heading towards the T-Car. "Home? Or is there another demonic nasty we have to take care of?"
"Just one more reported possession today," said Robin. "It's nothing serious, just a telephone pole that makes weird noises whenever someone walks by, but I'd like to take care of it before we go home."
"Just as long as it is not another demonic talking kitten I shall be fine," said Starfire. She shuddered at the memory. It had been so cute, yet so very, very evil—she would be having nightmares for weeks.
"Awesome! Let's go kick some pole!" said Beast Boy as he jumped into his usual spot in the back seat of the T-Car. "Teen Titans to the rescue!"
The other Titans piled into the car, and at Robin's direction Cyborg headed towards Jump City's eastern suburbs. It wasn't a serious threat, so Cyborg drove within the speed limit, since kicking in the afterburner would just needlessly disrupt traffic, not to mention deplete the T-Car's precious (and expensive) supply of the "special" fuel that Cyborg had managed to acquire from Boeing. The upshot of all this was that the trip, which the T-Car could have made in less than a minute and a half at full speed, took nearly twenty minutes. This was plenty of time to get very, very bored, especially if you are hyperactive and named Beast Boy.
It started innocently enough. Beast Boy had just asked a simple question.
"Hey, guys, isn't this kind of like Ghostbusters?" he said. "You know, all the going around, beating up on ghosts and stuff, except it's demons, not ghosts. Still, supernatural, right?" The other Titans just ignored him. Starfire was going to say something, but Raven caught her eye and just shook her head, as if to say: 'Don't encourage him.' Unfortunately, Beast Boy seldom needed encouragement.
"Hey, Raven, have you ever seen Ghostbusters? Either of the movies?" he asked. Raven didn't move a muscle. Any response would be seen as tacit agreement to taking part in the conversation, and then it would never end.
"How about the cartoon? Man, that cartoon was cool. But then, hey, all cartoons are cool, right? Except maybe that Felix the Cat movie." Again, Raven did not respond, so Beast Boy decided to change targets.
"Hey, Robin, can we get some of those wicked cool Ghostbusters backpacks, and those ray gun thingies?" Beast Boy asked. "I mean, I know we have these suplex things, but you have to admit we'd look pretty boss with the backpacks on."
"It's 'sutras'," said Raven, and she immediately regretted it. Correcting Beast Boy had become an involuntary reaction for her, and she could have sworn that Beast Boy had just purposefully used it against her.
"Hey, thanks for joining the conversation, Raven!" he said, grinning from ear to pointed ear. "Hey, what do you think about this idea: in the spirit of all this ghost hunting stuff, or demon, or whatever, let's change our theme song!"
"We have a theme song?" asked Raven. She couldn't pull out now, she knew, so she just decided to play along until Beast Boy got bored.
"Yeah, some Japanese chicks sang it, I think. But never mind that now, how do you like this?" Beast Boy said, and took a deep breath.
Oh, no, thought everyone in the car, aside from Starfire, who thought Ooh, singing!
"If there's something strange…in your neighbourhood…who ya gonna call? Teen Titans!" Beast Boy sang. Raven gave him a thump on the back of the head with her powers, causing Beast Boy's head to snap forward and bounce off the back of Cyborg's seat.
"Ow! That hurt!" Beast Boy said, and sulked. Raven smiled, satisfied that she had stopped that thoroughly irritating conversation. Playing along a bit was one thing, but enduring Beast Boy's singing? That just wasn't going to happen.
The Titans drove in silence for a few minutes. Then the three boys looked at each other, grinned idiotically, and burst into full song, with Cyborg taking the bass part, Robin handling the rhythm, and Beast Boy once again coming in on the vocals.
"If there's something weird…and it don't look good…who ya gonna call? Teen Titans! Naaa na naaa na naaaaaa na na na na na nanana, I ain't afraid of no ghost! Err…Demon!"
Raven hid her face in her hands and groaned. They would be doing this for a while.
"Is this some kind of demon hunting tradition on Earth?" asked Starfire. "May I join?" Raven groaned again.
"Please, if there is a God, please let it stop," she muttered, knowing full well that it wouldn't. In fact, it continued all the way to their destination, and then all the way back to Titans Tower.
"Nana nana nana! Nanananana na! Nana nana nana! Nananana nana na!"
OOO
Later that night, the Titans were all sitting in the living room. Robin had been unable to make any progress in determining any reason for the possessions; normally he would have just cloistered himself away in his room to work obsessively on the case night and day, but he had begun to realize that this was a bad thing, and had started to try to stop. So, he had finally relented and asked his teammates if they had any theories. He brought several dozen images and pieces of text about all the possessions so far up on the main screen, and they all sat for a minute or two staring at it in silence. Eventually, Robin got up and stood in front of the screen to address the other Titans.
"So, any thoughts?" he said.
"I hate to bring this up, but could it be Slade?" asked Cyborg.
"I thought about that," Robin responded. "Slade has shown some kind of supernatural abilities before, when he created that fire monster, but this kind of random, unfocused chaos just isn't his style."
"Yeah, the dude's pretty goal-oriented," said Beast Boy with a nervous chuckle. Nobody else laughed. Cyborg looked thoughtful for a moment, then spoke again.
"Is all this really supernatural?" he said. "I mean, is that the only explanation? Couldn't it be some kind of scientific phenomenon? For instance, short-wave electromagnetic radiation might…"
"No," Raven said simply. "These are demons. If it was something else causing this, I would be able to tell." Cyborg looked crestfallen, and bent his head in thought once again.
"On my planet, such occurrences would be called talagran glumfnar, and only a fully ordained Glumfnik would be able to cause them," said Starfire. The others just stared at her, and she grinned nervously. "Then again, I doubt that anyone on Earth has been ordained as a Glumfnik."
"Oookay," said Cyborg. Suddenly, Beast Boy leapt up off the couch, a look of triumph on his face.
"Guys! I've got it!" he said.
"Oh, boy, this should be good," said Raven. Beast Boy ignored her.
"It must be some kind of unholy alliance between Marilyn Manson, Rob Zombie, and Billy Graham!" he said.
"Pure genius," said Raven, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Okay, fine, how about this: it's evil, yet tragic and sexy, vampires!" Beast Boy continued. "No? What about microscopic devil monkeys?"
"Okay, that's just insane," said Cyborg.
"Well, then perhaps it could be…Plan 9!" said Beast Boy.
"From outer space?" asked Robin.
"The same!" Beast Boy responded. The others looked at each other incredulously. Cyborg twirled one finger around his ear, and pointed the other one at Beast Boy.
"Okay, okay, how about this?" said Beast Boy, now determined to prove himself. "A planetary alignment that comes only once every six thousand years has weakened the very fabric of reality, leading to an increase in alien abductions and shadow government activity as both try to capitalize on the situation. Then, the Masons used voodoo on the rulers of Atlantis, thus resulting in the release of the dreaded Atlantean robot pirates and zombie ninjas. Or maybe it was zombie pirates and robot ninjas…"
The Titans stared, wide-eyed, at Beast Boy. His theories had always been crazy, but this one topped them all by a long shot.
"Or, uhhh…maybe it's Jason Todd," Beast Boy said.
"Okay, Beast Boy, you're officially cut off," said Robin.
"Oh, come on! Those were some good theories!" Beast Boy complained.
"I think I might have something," Raven said quietly.
"I mean, zombie ninjas? Voodoo? That's gold, man!" Beast Boy said.
"No, Beast Boy, that's bullsh…wait, what did you just say, Raven?" Robin said. Raven winced. She had hoped he hadn't heard her, so she wouldn't have to tell him about Drakon.
"Well, um, there's this guy that seems to be watching me," Raven said. "I think he's a sorcerer of some sort, but I'm not sure. He says his name is Drakon. Anyway, I don't know why he's interested in me, or why he's helped us, but…"
"Wait, helped us? How?" asked Robin. Raven sagged. Once again, Robin had managed to pick up on precisely what she had hoped that he wouldn't.
"He was the one who gave me the sutras," Raven said, avoiding Robin's gaze. "I saw him use one, so it wasn't like they were untested, and I checked them to make sure they were real, and…"
"Raven! It's okay," Robin interrupted. "It all worked out fine, so don't worry about it."
Wait, Robin's consoling me? Why am I panicking like this? I hate panicking! thought Raven. Is all this really affecting me this much? She sighed and took a deep breath before continuing.
"So, like I said, I don't know who he is, or why he's so interested in me, but he seems to know a lot about me," she said. "Stuff I haven't told anyone aside from you guys."
"Okay, so what do you think this has to do with the possessions?" said Robin.
"Well, I first saw him just after the first possession, and he seemed to know exactly how to beat the demons…" Raven began, but was interrupted again, this time by Starfire.
"Oh, Drakon…is that the scary snake man?" she asked.
"Whoa, whoa! Back up there! Snake man?" said Cyborg. Raven sighed.
"He just has a snake. It's his familiar," she said. "And yes, Starfire, that's him."
"Starfire, you know who Raven is talking about?" said Robin.
"Oh, yes. Raven and I saw him when we went to shop for magical things," said Starfire. "We also saw Harry Potter!"
"No, we didn't," Raven said, then turned back to Robin. "Anyway, if he's so interested in me, this sorcerer might be sending the demons as a way of testing me."
"What for?" asked Robin. Again, Raven sighed.
"I don't know," she said. "I don't even know for sure if it really is him sending the demons. I just figured you guys should know about this." Robin nodded.
In other words, keeping it secret was beginning to bother her, he thought.
"Thank you, Raven. I'll keep it in mind," he said out loud. "Anyone else have anything to add?" The other Titans all shook their heads.
"Right, then. Let's sleep on it, and see if anything presents itself in the morning," Robin said. The others agreed, and they all went to their rooms and dreamed of demons.
Except for Beast Boy. He dreamed about hordes of girls flocking around him, just like every other night.
-END CHAPTER FIVE-
Author's Note: Hmmm…so, yeah, I get a weird feeling from this chapter. It just doesn't sit too well with me for some reason. I like the stuff in the car, and all that, and Beast Boy's bizarre theories, but the ending dialogue is just awful. The problem is, I can't think of how to fix it while still keeping everything I want in there. Then again, it's 2:00 AM as I'm writing this, so that might contribute to that just a wee bit. I would have much rather done the first part of this scene as a video montage of the Titans exorcizing various demonically possessed people, animals, and things to the Ghostbusters theme song, or possibly a rendition of it sung slightly flat by Puffy AmiYumi (the "Japanese chicks" that Beast Boy mentioned), but I can't very well do that in text. That still wouldn't have saved the final dialogue, though. Getting some really, really good-looking actresses to play Raven and Starfire wouldn't even save that dialogue. Nudity might help, but only a bit. (Edit: Okay, I've gone over the ending dialogue again at the bright and early hour of 7:30 PM. I've changed a few things, and I think it holds together much better now. I still don't like the sudden ending, but it's just a chapter ending, right?)
While I remember, apologies to Brian Clevinger—I kind of stole the Plan 9 line from 8-bit Theatre. Well, maybe not stole. Borrowed indefinitely. There we go. Thief would be proud.
I realize that this was another chapter that didn't really do much for the story. It seems like every chapter is like this. Maybe I've been watching too much anime (read: "filler") lately. I'm trying to fix it, honest. Is it at least a bit suspenseful? No? Crap. There's humour, at least.
Just so you all know, I collapsed another two chapters into this one. I had planned to have the car scene separate from the theorizing scene, but they were both so short that I decided to just stick them together.
To My Reviewers:
CloudsHalo: I'm glad you liked the fight scene. Either I got lucky, or I'm finally starting to get some idea of how to get the right flow out of fight scenes in text. As I've said before, I tend to think cinematically, and while that can help with some aspects of writing, it can be over-applied, leading to clunky narration, especially in action-oriented scenes. Also, my background as a fencer and martial artist means I think about fights in a very technical way, and I'm also not really interested in fights as they appear in most fiction, since they have to be relatively simple if the narration is to have any semblance of natural flow to it. There's just so much going on underneath every motion in a fight, and once you have even a bit of that deep understanding it becomes difficult to simplify things enough to make it good reading. Accidentally using technical terms can make things even worse (like saying "chin na", or some other Anglicized Chinese terms, instead of just saying "joint lock"—not sure about the spelling of chin na, for anyone who knows what I'm talking about). Also, there are some techniques and concepts that don't really have any nice, easy-to-use, non-technical names that I know of, like "fa jing" (again, spelling is an issue—I'm just going by how I've heard it pronounced), which is a whole body energy release, or "pris-de-ferre" (spelling again), a technique from fencing where you attack while still maintaining full contact with your opponent's blade. Also concepts like counter-time, broken time, and some of the other basics of timing and distance can be tricky to put in while still keeping it readable…okay, so this is a bit of an unnecessary digression. Blah, blah, I'm a fencing geek, blah, blah. Oh, and the lack of description for the demonically possessed woman was just an accident, but I'm glad it worked out okay.
nevermoretheraven: I'm glad I haven't disappointed you so far. I still have time, though, even if this chapter didn't do it. Then again, you might be like me, and be one of those people who stick with something when it gets crappy and stupid just because you hope it'll get better again (mumble mumble…stupid Naruto flashbacks…mumble).
GS Dragono: I hope I'll be able to keep updating regularly, as I like to do. I've hit a slump over the last few days; I don't know why this is, but hopefully I'll get it fixed soon. Oddly enough, it was during this slump that I figured out where I'm going in later chapters. I had a bit of an idea, but it seemed to end things up way to quickly. My new plan draws things out a little better, I think. I'll see how it goes. And hopefully, you will, too.
staticsponge123: Wow. Best you've ever read, huh? Awesome. I'll try to keep it up. I like the name, by the way. Sponges are cool. I want to sit at the bottom of the ocean and filter my food out of the water, too. Maybe not live in a pineapple, though. God, why did I have to bring that up?