In My Life

• This is a fic that a friend of mine actually wrote, but she doesn't have an account so she asked me to post it for her.
• This is an L/L songfic based on the song 'In My Life' by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
• Based on their talk at the end of "Run Away, Little Boy," but it also involves some things that happen later on in the show (a.k.a. Alex).

There are places I remember all my life,
Though some have changed,
Some forever, not for better,
Some have gone and some remain.

Lorelai had said it, herself; the men in her life may come and go, but there were those few people who would always be there for her. He was one of them, and he had promised her that he would be a steady part of her life, but he knew that it would never be enough; he would always want more.

He loved her, he had for years now, but would she ever feel the same way? Was it really even worth dreaming? "Come on, be serious, Luke," he would remind himself. She could never love him. He was her coffee supplier, her Mr. Fix It, her go to guy, but her love interest? Right... Keep dreaming buddy.

He knew that his plaid shirts and coffee pots could never measure up to motorcycles, or 1,000 yellow daisies, or expensive foreign cars, or fishing (okay, bad example, but you get the point). He was nothing like the guys that Lorelai dated. He saw what she liked: guys who were exciting; or educated men who used big words, and had read Proust, and could quote Shakespeare to her; or big-shot rich business men; or the outdoorsy type (okay, another bad example). He never stood a chance, so why even dream?

All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall.
Some are dead and some are living.
In my life I've loved them all.

That was just the problem: he always dreamt. He had for eight years now. He knew her inside out. He could set his clock by her. She'd find another perfect dream guy, and she would go out with him, and, even in the winter, she would never dress weather-appropriate. Well, sure, Luke enjoyed what she wore during these times (although you could never get him to admit it), but it killed him to know that none of it was for him, and never would be. About two months into every single one of her relationships, she'd begin the little 'get away' dance. She'd go running, and he'd come to know this all too well. I mean, yeah, there's such a thing as a biological clock, but it seemed Lorelai's alarm actually went off, every time (and it was the one with the farm animals, too - the perky piggies). He told himself that she left because none of these guys were right for her, but, come on, would it really be any different with him?

But of all these friends and lovers,
There is no one compares with you,
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new.

He would always be there for her, just as promised, and he's Luke Danes, Mr. Reliable, so she can count on him…at least for now that is. He'd always wondered how great it would be to just get up and leave one day, or stop pining for her and move on; to stop being her back up plan. Maybe she wouldn't admit it, but that's what he was to her. He saw it. But was it really fair to expect him to wait forever? It would certainly serve her right if he left... Oh, who was he kidding? He would always be there for her, whether as a friend or something more. For now, he was just glad to be a part of her life. He was thankful to be her friend.

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think about them,
In my life I'll love you more.

Lorelai sat there, thinking about him. Was it true what everybody said? Could Luke really have feelings for her? No, of course not, she would dismiss the idea. He was her rock, one of the few stable parts in her life, and she had told him this, herself. He would always be there for her. He knew her so well that it scared her sometimes. She was scared that he would someday discover the truth; he would figure out just why she always went running around the two month mark in a relationship. Two months, as anyone who reads the magazines she does should know, is when a relationship is considered serious. The guy gives you a key, or brings you to meet his parents (that guy's not much of a keeper, is he?), or even proposes. Two months meant commitment, and, well, Lorelai Gilmore isn't the greatest at committing to people, but fear of commitment altogether isn't the problem. The problem is that she's already committed to someone else, her heart has been taken. The worst part is that he may never know. Perhaps it's better this way. He really IS one of the few stable parts of her life, and she doesn't know what she'd do without him in her life. So she is left to wonder; and she may always wonder.

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think about them,
In my life I'll love you more.
In my life I'll love you more.