Buffy
After I regain my memory I just can't stand to be around anyone, even Spike. He'll just bring up that stupid kiss again. I start heading home but instead find myself at the Bronze. I walk past the line and the bouncer lets me right in. I've saved this place enough times that I'm always let right inside. I walk to the bar and take a seat, staring off into space.
Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
Tears from behind my eyes
But I do not crying
Counting the days that past me by
The club is unusually quiet. The couples that would normally dance are just standing still, watching Michelle Branch play. It's a nice intimate performance. I let my thoughts wander aimlessly as I listen to her sing. My eyes grow wide for a moment as I remember bumping into someone earlier. Someone who looked strangely like Faith.
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and I say
Could it really have been Faith? She's supposed to be in jail, not that I've bothered to check since I got back. I hadn't even thought about her. But now that I am I feel that warm pulsing along my spine that I used to feel when she was near.
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I look over at the crowd on the dance floor and I see her stiffen. She turns slowly and our eyes meet. I think I caught her off guard for the second time tonight. She just stands there staring at me.
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light, but it's not right
I used to look at her with nothing but anger and hate. The anger is still there, a little less maybe but there. The hate is gone, but in its place is curiosity. Why is she here? Why didn't she tell anyone? Maybe she's behind those attacks on me. I don't know what to think. But then again, what else is new these days.
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I open my eyes, which I hadn't realized I'd closed, and she's gone. I turn to see where she went when Spike is suddenly standing beside me. He's looking at me with that pouty face he gets when he's a wounded lil puppy. I can't stand that look right now and turn away from him. I feel him stand there a moment before walking further into the club.
Ohhh yeah
It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want whats yours and I want whats mine
I want you but I'm not giving in this time
I turn back and see his duster fly around the staircase. My gaze falls on the door and she's watching me again. I catch her eye and she smiles sadly, turning and walking out the door.
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
Just like that she's gone. She practically sneaked out. I get up off my stool and go to find Spike. I reach the stairs and stop. If I go after him I'll only be causing more trouble. I know enough to know whatever we do will end badly. I've turned to him because he made me feel. Might have just been sexual but it was feeling. But tonight, I got curious. That's a start.
I feel him watching me as I turn and walk towards the door. I slip quietly outside and am grateful that he's letting me go. I take a step to head home but I stop. For reasons even I don't understand, I went back inside.