Note: Thank you as usual for your pretty, lil' reviews and here's a slightly longer chapie for you!
Ps. To Hokai Amplifier: you'll find out the answer to your question in future chapter. Hehehehe…
The Hyuuga Cousins
Chapter Four The 360 Degree Attention
It would take only a few hours to reach Otafuku from Shikuba, so Neji nii-san decided to take it easy by walking at a slower pace, considering that my wounds hadn't completely healed either. I was no doubt glad about his decision. Last night hadn't been any better than the previous one spent in the forest. No matter how tired I had been, I just couldn't seem to fall asleep. My eyelids might have closed, but my mind had simply refused to fall into slumber.
Why, you ask me? Oh, how could I sleep like a log when he was right there with me in that small, cramped room?
He might have gallantly let me have the futon, and slept in the corner against the wall instead, but still. He was there. His head was bowed and his arms were folded loosely. The sound of his regular breathing told me that he was asleep, and that made the lump of fear in my throat to recede somehow.
He's asleep now. He won't do anything to me…
I mentally slapped myself at the thought. I mean, even though I—at the age of seventeen—had never been so overly friendly with a member of the opposite sex before, and couldn't help admitting that sleeping in the same room with one had totally freaked me out to no end, he was still Neji nii-san, my cousin. He was the Neji nii-san who had no interest in anything else beside his missions or trainings! But even so, I couldn't help wondering if the thought of girls had ever crossed his mind before…
I rolled over—as quietly as I could—so that I could see his sleeping face. As I expected, he looked so different from the Neji that everyone thought they knew when he was sleeping. He looked much younger now, much happier…like he hadn't had a care in the world. It never ceased to amaze me how hard he tried to hide his real feelings from the world. Sometimes, when I saw him wear that Anbu mask of his, I got the feeling that he was hiding more than just his identity.
"Hinata-sama…" his husky voice brought me out of my trance, and I found myself averting my eyes from his again.
Ugh, what was I doing? I thought I had passed the stare-back-at-Neji-nii-san-straight-in-the-eye test already…Maybe it was the memory of me gazing at him sleeping last night, or him buying me the toy ring, or him holding my hand that made me lose my confidence again.
"Y-yes?" I asked as I stepped over the puddle carefully. It must have rained a little later last night.
"About those ninja who attack you in the forest…" he started, and I couldn't help gasping at his words.
Oh my word…how can I actually forget about it?
"Well, my guess is that we will encounter more of them during the rest of our journey," he continued as he looked at my expression closely, "You shouldn't e surprised about it."
I stared at him as if he had just landed from Mars. Shouldn't be surprised? Did he know that it wasn't everyday some ninja would attack me for no reason at all.
He must have read what I was thinking because he said, "What I mean is, as a Hyuuga—and as the heir, moreover—you'll constantly be targeted for that eyes of yours., especially now that you're out of the safety of Konoha Village."
"My eyes…?" I asked, not understanding one bit, "But Neji nii-san also have the same eyes, so how come they didn't target you too?"
"It's not like I'm not targeted. I've been out of Konoha for missions many times before this, and sometimes along the way, I'll be ambushed for this reason too," he sighed, turning his head back to the front again, "That's why I protested strongly against Godaime's decision to send just one jounin to escort you."
I gaped at his back, speechless.
"The problem is, you're weaker than me," Neji nii-san was as straightforward as ever, "So, that makes you an easier target."
Funny, but his words made me feel so terribly ashamed of myself. And I thought that I had given up of being a shinobi when I decided to get married.
Because I was distracted by my own thoughts, I hadn't notice that Neji nii-san had stopped walking, so I bumped into his back. He didn't give any reaction though, but merely continued speaking as I rubbed my hurt nose, "Hinata-sama…I will put my life on the line in order to protect you…"
Surprised, I looked up at him, wishing badly that he would turn around instead, so that I could see his expression as he said those words. "But even so, I can't guarantee that I'll be able to watch over you all the time. There are possible occasions where you have to depend on yourself."
And with that, he continued to walk ahead in silence again.
Neji nii-san's eyes are exactly the same as mine in feature, though in potential, his were definitely way better. I knew that fact very well. And as well as the fact that he had that famous three hundred and sixty degree vision. But even with that ability, he still won't be able to watch over me? No, I should say that he didn't want to watch over me all the time. Well, why should he? I was nothing to him. I meant nothing to him. He had many other more important things to do.
But if only…if only I could get that entire three hundred and sixty degree attention of his. Even if it was only for once, I would be more than happy…
I stopped dead in my track at that thought.
What in the world was I thinking? No way…I would never think that way. Not me. I mean, yes, I do care about Neji nii-san's and my relationship, but I didn't wish our relationship to be more than just as cousins. No, I had never! Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, NEVER! NOT EVER!
"Hinata-sama," I jumped about a foot and a half, and my face mirrored that of a baboon's backside when he called me, "We're reaching Otafuku."
Oh, Hinata, I thought as ran to catch up to him, you're such a bad liar. Even for just a second, you want his full attention on you. Yes, even just for a mere second…his 360 degree attention…
It really was a perfect fall day in Otafuku; crisp but not bitter cold. Glittering slate-green ocean in every direction as far as the eye could see. A dramatic patchwork of slivery gray clouds and brilliant blue sky could be seen overhead, and I could smell the bracing freshness of the salt air.
We reached the port four hours too early, so to fill up the time, Neji nii-san and I went to eat our lunch first, and shop for more food (instant cup noodles, and some snacks) to eat onboard the ship. But in the middle of the shopping, I bumped into someone who claimed to be one of the crew of our ship, and he was surprised that I didn't know our ship's departure time was rescheduled to one hour earlier. I thanked him thoroughly, and he pointed to me the ship going to the Snow Country.
"Thank you so much!" I bowed to him gratefully.
He returned me a crooked grin. "No sweat. Well, hurry up and get on board the ship now before we leave you."
I went to look for Neji nii-san (who I found in a ningu store, stocking up on his weapon) to tell him the news. He appeared to be very surprised, and…suspicious, but he followed me all the same. The ship was surprisingly quite crowded. I had never expected that many people to visit the Snow Country since as far I knew, that distant and isolated (ah, and it snowed all the time there no matter what was the season) country wasn't exactly a desirable place to go to for holidays or any other business, for that matter.
Neji nii-san and I went to look for our rooms, which were luckily first class so they were kind of fancy (it was Fuji-san's way of apologizing for not being able to fetch me from Konoha). There was a small living room (with a television and a couch), a bedroom (with a closet, and a bed, or course), a bathroom (with Jacuzzi!), and a verandah outside the sliding glass doors.
I dumped my bag onto the couch and stepped out into the verandah to sea the sea below me. Wow, I was beginning to think that the journey on board this ship was going to be fun. I hadn't even married yet, but it felt as if I was already going for honeymoon. I had to thank Fuji-san the instant I reached Snow Country for giving me this opportunity.
See, I convinced myself, marrying Fuji-san and coming all the way to the Snow Country is the right thing to do.
I heard the sound of the glass door sliding open and turned to see Neji nii-san coming out of his own room, which is exactly beside me. The sea breeze blew on his long, raven hair, and the sunlight glinted on his Konoha head protector. Just like me, he gazed over the shimmering sea water below us, his expression softening slightly at the nature's beauty.
He glanced over to me when he realized me staring at him, making me feel strangely warm despite the wind blowing on me.
"Ah, I…" I desperately tried to find excuses that would distract his attention, "I'll go look outside!" And I rushed out, almost kicking myself for being so nervous over nothing and coming out with the lamest excuse possible.
I managed to calm myself down once I reached the deck, but the calmness disappeared as soon as it came when I heard the conversation of a family who were gazing at the sea near me.
"Mom," said a little boy with Hidden Sand head protector, "When are we going to reach the Hidden Sand Village?"
"It takes two weeks to reach the Sand Country from here," she tugged on his hand, "Come! Let's go and find some food to eat."
Their words left me feeling as if I had head-butted a brick wall. Sand Country? What were they talking about? Wasn't this ship heading to the Snow Country only?
"Ah, hang on!" I called out to the mother and son, who looked at me with bewilderment clearly shown in their identical eyes, "I'm sorry, but can I ask you where this ship is heading?"
The mother stared at me incredulously. "Why? The Sand Country, of course."
I tried not to panic. "Um, do you know if this ship stops at any other places before reaching the Sand Country?"
The mother rubbed her chin. "I'm not so sure about that, but I don't think so. Where are you heading?"
"The Snow Country…" I mumbled, feeling like the world had come to an end.
"The Snow Country?" the mother gasped, "The final destination of this ship is the Sand Country, and the Snow Country is much further away!"
I didn't say anything—couldn't say anything.
"Well, if you've really gotten to the wrong ship, the only solution to your problem is to change ship once you reach the Sand Country," said the woman sympathetically before she left with her son tailing behind her.
Change ship? But, ships heading to Snow Country were very rare to find! How long would it take before I finally reach there? And would I even still be alive by then?
I dragged myself up to Neji nii-san's room to tell him what I had heard, and his reaction was something that I had expected.
"Oh well, I knew that this will happen," he said matter-of-factly as he shrugged, "That rescheduling of departure time sounds fishy in the first place, but it just shows that those ninja targeting you are pretty stubborn…and that they actually come from the Sand Hidden Village. "
"Why didn't you say anything then?" I mumbled, feeling more awful than ever, "If you've said that I had actually been tricked, we might be able to take the right ship."
Neji nii-san looked so surprised that if he had been a parrot, he would have slipped off his perch. "You mean, you'll actually believe me if I said that you've been tricked?"
His comment left me feeling as if I had been thunderstruck. Why was he saying this now? Hadn't I tell him before that I trusted him? Was that not good enough to convince him? What else was I supposed to say then?
He must have realized what I had been thinking (again!) because he whispered, "Hinata-sama, even until now, I see no reason why you should trust me. Doesn't the memory of that Chuunin Exam ever come to your mind whenever you see me?"
I lowered my eyes as I swallowed back the ever-present guilt.
He was right…the memory did come to my mind when I saw him. But…but that hadn't happened recently! I wasn't so scared of him now. I was beginning to trust him! Oh, why couldn't he understand that?
"Hinata-sama," his voice was so stern that it made cringe, "You do remember that I've almost killed you before, don't you? For all you know, I may kill you now."
I raised my eyes at him, feeling shocked, but mostly, hurt. What was he trying to say? Wasn't it just a while ago when he told me that he would put his life on the line to protect me? So, why was he saying that he would kill me now?
No, no! Don't think about it, Hinata! Think about last night instead. Think about the festival! Think about the toy ring!
"No, Neji nii-san…" I murmured as I fingered the cold surface of the fake diamond on the toy ring, "You would never kill me."
I saw him frowning at me, but I tried hard to continue. "At least, not on this mission. I know you'll never come back home with a failed mission."
He smiled coldly. "But that doesn't mean that I won't kill you. As soon as this mission is over…"
"But why would you want to kill me?" I shouted in frustration, "What's the point of killing me now? I'm not the successor of the Hyuuga clan anymore! I don't care about the Hyuugas anymore! Do you really hate me so much? Why are—" I gasped and clapped my mouth shut before I could finish the sentence—before I really got killed by him for shouting in his face.
Oh God, what had happened to me? It wasn't like me at all for shouting like this. And to Neji nii-san, of all people!
"I don't understand you…"I could feel it…I could feel his three hundred and sixty degree of attention on me, "No matter how naïve you are, how can you possibly trust someone who almost killed you? Don't tell me that it's because I'm your cousin! Because I know that you've never thought of me as one before—and you never will."
Neji nii-san really was a scary person. He was piercing through my most painful spot.
Like I was in the middle of sleepwalking, I went over to sit on the couch beside him, and rest my head on his shoulder, feeling them tensed slightly before relaxing after he finally realized that I wouldn't go anytime soon.
He might think that I was crazy, but I didn't care. I was too tired now to care. Maybe I would start worrying about my problems again only after I had taken a nap. Yeah, that would be nice…
"I don't understand it myself, Neji nii-san," I whispered, closing my eyes "I don't understand it myself."
His three hundred and sixty degree of attention that I wanted so badly was all mine now. But I had never expected it to feel this painful.