The letters :

The next morning the pain seemed to have lessened and his mind had cleared a little bit. A little voice in the back of his mind keeps whispering that Sirius death wasn't his fault or at least not entirely.
But Harry wasn't ready to trust this voice, he needed some kind of confirmation ,which came after 3 hours laying in his bad (if you could call this rags a bad) and being ignored bye the Dursleys, in form of a letter from Hermione.
Hedwig flew through the window and let the letter drop so that it fall on top of Harry, who woke up from the slumber state in which he had been in.
After rubbing his eyes with his hands and hissing in pain after he tried to sit up as his broken ribs protested he opened the letter and began to read.






Dear Harry,
you know that I am not Stupid right?
So, why did you even try to convince me in all your letters (which weren't much)that you send me this summer, that you where doing well?
Honestly no one expected you to do well , after all Sirius did just die!

(this line has been crossed our and had been re written some times like Hermione wasn´t sure if she should write it)

And Harry I can tell that you are blaming yourself for his death, like you did with Cedric. Harry I never saw someone dieing and although I liked Sirius a lot I surely can't understand how bad it must hurt to loose someone that close, or to watch someone dieing.
So you witnessed 4 times what I gratefully never have and hopefully never will have to witness!
So like I said before I can´t understand what you feel bit if I try to imagine then I think that in such a horrible situation can´t think straight or logical.
Because Harry if you look rational at this whole miserable situation , than you have to realise that there is NO ONE to blame.
So now I hope I have talked some sense into you!!!!!
But Harry because you tried so desperately to convince me that you where doing fine , I am afraid that something else is bothering you.
It is not like you have to tell me, but Harry I hope you know that I am interested in what happens with your live, because I DO CARE about you!
So IF anything is bothering you I am willing to listen and I wont judge you ,I promise!!!!! I hope you will answer this letter soon and that the Dursleys are treating you well.

Love Hermione




After reading the letter 3 times Harry put it down. Like always Hermione had seen trough the lies and had found exactly what Harry had tried to hide. After all now he knew that someone did care.

And by just knowing that he felt a immense relief like someone had lifted a heavy stone from his chest and he could breathe more freely.
But then again you couldn't compare the feeling he experienced with breathing more freely, for with his broken ribs he couldn't breath free and because of the dizziness he felt because of his conciseness he seriously considers to not write back this instant but to wait till he was feeling better.

But then again he wouldn't feel better any time soon , unless the Dursleys would stop treating him like shit!

So with a sight he sat down on the floor and got the paper and ink out from the loosened floorboard and began to write as good as he could, for his hand was shaking and he had trouble to control it.




Dear Hermione,

thank you for you letter , I appreciate that you are concerned about me , for some time I thought no one was interested in my life. And I was running in some kind of depression . Well you are right I was and partly still am blaming myself for Sirius death.
At some times everything seems so clear and I can't understand how I could ever blame myself for his death
But on other days, when the grief I feel is to much I can't stand it anymore.
Well you are also right that there is something or should I say someone who is bothering me but I am afraid if I tell you, you'll tell other persons like Ron or Dumbledore and I really don't want them to know.
I guess I feel kind of shamed.............
But anyway I can't tell you.
Hope you are doing well, and please don't tell anybody how much Sirius death did affect me. Even if the guess it, I don't want them to know my weakens besides it could even get dangerous if one of Voldemords folks hears about it.
Tschaaa..... on weakness more he could use against me !!!!!!!!!!

Harry Potter.










Totally excused after writing this letter he bound the letter to Hedwig and stumbled to his bad where his had hit the pillow and he fell into a restless sleep, with disturbing nightmares in it.







A/N: And again he falls asleep at the end of the story....!
So I have been informed that there are many spelling mistakes (well I knew that my spelling is horrible kind of hoped no one would notice * lol *) and I would like to find a betareader, so anyone interested ??????
Hmm,...I have some ideas how to continue this story but am still unsure if he and hermione should come together or just stay friends.

Well and since there weren't any betareaders in this chapter there are many spelling mistakes. SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!

TBC