Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has a copyright. All I own is the cardboard box I'm sitting in as I write this, and the computer I write this on.
"Look out!" cried Leon.
At that moment, Lisa's pencil was thrown very violently back at her. You may be wondering how they ended up in this predicament. What? What's that? You don't care? Well, pretend you care! Now, let's take it back...to the very beginning.
Two Weeks Earlier
Anne, Lisa, Jordan, and Leon, were very bored. They were sitting in Anne's house watching TV. That's when the doorbell rang. It was Jonathon from Korn.
"Jonathon! Oh my God! I love you!" Lisa, the Korn fanatic, screamed.
"Korn? What about carrots?" Anne asked.
Leon just looked vacant and confused, like always.
"I'm here bearing gifts," Jonathon said.
"Daddy, what else did you leave for me?" Lisa asked.
"He's your dad?" Anne asked.
"Is he infected?" Leon asked. Leon knew the important questions to ask.
"No, and no," Lisa said. "Haven't you guys ever listened to Another Brick In The Wall?"
Jordan, Leon, and Anne looked at each other.
"Um...no?" Jordan asked. "Were we supposed to?"
"Ok, I'll listen a brick in the wall!" exclaimed Leon. With that, Leon ran to the nearest brick wall, and put his ear to the brick. "It's not saying anything!"
Jonathon sighed. "That's not what it's about. It's about students not needing teachers."
"You get used to it. We just tune him out sometimes," Anne said.
"Hey, teacher! Leave those kids alone!" Lisa screamed.
"Her too," Jordan said.
"So," Anne said. "These gifts. Are they cookies? Are they poisoned? Are you evil? Trying not to sound like my boyfriend, are you infected?"
"No, no, no, and no," Jonathon said.
"But...no cookies?" Lisa pouted.
Jonathon stared. Leon kept his cute, but empty head next to the wall; waiting for it to speak.
"Anyways, I am here...because I have gifts," Jonathon said. "Tickets to a Korn concert in two weeks, with backstage passes."
"YAYYYY!" cried Lisa, overjoyed.
"Let me ask you this, out of all the houses, all the fans, all the people; why us?" asked the always paranoid Anne.
"Um...contest! Lisa here entered a contest!" he said, hastily.
"Did you now?" asked Anne, directing her attention to Lisa.
Lisa was too busy hoping up and down with her backstage passes to answer.
"Why do I need a backstage pass?" asked Leon, "I'm a Secret Service Agent! I ALWAYS GET IN FREE!"
"Uh...No. That's only free coffee refills at the diner," said Anne, impatiently.
"Jordan" she said, addressing the only other person without brain damage, "Sounds suspicious, eh?"
Before he could respond, Jonathan threw an orange cat and a cow at her.
"KITTY! And MOO-MOO!" she cried, stroking the ginger feline.
It hissed and said, "Hands off!"
"...The hell?" Anne asked.
There was a puff of smoke. The cat turned into...a person. But not just any person. A naked person. A red haired, naked person. A red haired, naked person named Kyo, who seemed very pissed off.
"Ahh!" Jordan, Leon, and Jonathon shielded their eyes. Anne stared.
The cow also turned into a naked person. A black and white haired, naked person. A black and white haired naked person named Haru. He looked bored.
Suddenly, Anne screamed, "Boyfriend swap!" and Lisa latched onto a very confused looking Leon.
"Infected!" Leon screamed. "Oh wait, it's just Lisa."
"Just Lisa? Thanks," Lisa said.
"What is going on?" Jordan asked.
"He he," Jonathon said. "Consider that a part of your gift, too." He winked, and left.
Two weeks later
"Oh my God! We're going to see Korn!" Lisa screamed for the hundredth time as Jordan drove them to the concert.
"Say that one more time," Jordan said angrily, "And I'm pulling this car over and you can walk the rest of the twenty six miles there."
"I have a question," said Kyo, "What the hell am I still doing here? Especially with the stupid cow and the dumb ass psychos?"
"Free Korn passes," said Haru, simply.
"Your a Korn fan!" asked Lisa. smiling, "I love you!"
Anne hissed at him. "He's mine. You have Leon."
"Infected!" Leon screamed and shot at the brick that still wouldn't talk. "Why did I have to take the infected one?"
"Shut...up..." Jordan said. He crushed a Pepsi can. Now, this may not seem odd to you, but Jordan loved Pepsi, and would never hurt a Pepsi can.
"Jeez, what's your problem?" Lisa asked. "I mean, Kyo says the same thing too, but that's because he's easily annoyed and a jerk."
"Hey! I'm not a jerk!" screamed Kyo.
They drove the rest of the twenty six miles in silence, except for the occasional interrogation from Leon to the brick. Sure, two weeks had passed, but Leon wasn't the type to give up or have any common sense whatsoever.
"I wanna see carrots," Anne said.
"Well too bad, we're seeing Korn, in case you hadn't heard from this one." Jordan pointed angrily at Lisa.
"Wow," Said Haru. "He certainly is a jack ass, isn't he?"
"You wanna start something, cowboy?" Jordan asked.
"Okay then jackass," said Haru, turning into his alter ego, "Pull over so I can kick your ass from here to Timbuktu."
Jordan pulled the car into a conveniently placed parking place. Jordan and Haru started fighting, right there in the parking lot. After a few minutes of fighting, the security guards came and broke them up.
"We're not done," Jordan said, as they all went into the concert hall.
"Well that was anti-climatic," said Lisa.
"If you lay another hand on him, I will telekinetically throw you against a conveniently placed brick wall," Anne threatened.
"Stay out of this," Said Haru, still "black".
"Brick wall? Maybe this one will talk?" Leon asked.
"Can't this wait for after the concert? Come on! It's gonna start soon!" Lisa said.
They pushed their way through the mosh pit.
The concert was going without incident, and everyone was having fun, until they played "Ya'll Want A Single".
"Boom, boom, boom, boom..."
"He's evil! He's an evil cyborg!" Jordan yelled.
"What are you talking about?" Lisa asked.
"He went boom!" Jordan yelled. "He's evil, since I'm the good one!"
"It's part of the song, Jordan," Lisa said.
"I don't care. He's evil, and he has to die!"
After the concert, they went backstage. Jordan started asked them about "Ya'll Want A Single" and he asked about the "boom boom boom boom" part.
"It has nothing to do with anything," Jonathon said. "It just, sounded cool."
Jordan pulled a handgun out.
"Security!" Jonathon yelled.
"Hold up!" Leon said, putting down the brick. "I'm a secret service agent. Put the gun down." He pulled out his rocket launcher.
Jordan ignored Leon. "Jonathon is evil." And with that, he fired a warning shot. Into Jonathon's head.
Lisa screamed, and threw herself over Jonathon's now lifeless body. "Kill me too! Just kill me now!" She started sobbing.
Anne telekinetically took the gun out of Jordan's hand, before he could fulfill Lisa's wish.
"I have a confession to make," Jordan said. "I'm not really Jordan. I'm really Kyle. Jordan's evil twin. I was sent on a mission from Jack Harper and uh...Mr. Davies, to kill um...hold on." Jordan pulled out a piece of paper, and checked the names. "Jonathon Davis, Lisa Depp, Anne King, and Leon S. Kennedy. And...the other two...They were just there."
Without a word, Haru and Kyo tackled him to the ground. Kyle, being the cyborg that he was, exploded, taking the others with him.
As the smoke cleared, the only one standing was the cyborg himself. He laughed evilly, as he stepped over the dead bodies of his brother's former friends.
Kyle left the building and soon found himself in Mr. Davies' office with Jack.
"Did everything go according to plan?" Mr. Davies asked.
"Yup, couldn't have gone better," Kyle said.
"And your brother," Jack said. "That...Jordan freak. Is he dead, too?"
"Yes," Kyle said. "and I couldn't be happier."
Later that day, at the city morgue, a worker brought in seven bodies.
"Whoa, what happened here, Davis?" Tru Davies asked her boss.
"Appears there was an apparent assassination," said Davis.
Tru stared at him blankly. "I hate it when you use big words, Davis. What's an assasinimation? Isn't that when important people are killed?"
"Well, yes. But this one here, Jonathon Davis, was in Korn," Davis explained. "It's a pity, really. I was planning on going to the concert."
Tru's eyes widened at the thought of Davis "rocking out". She walked up to one of the body bags, and saw Leon's pretty corpse.
"Hmn, not bad for a dead guy," Tru said.
"What was that?" Davis asked.
"Um...Nothing. Now leave me here with the pretty body so I can make out with him. I mean...wait for him to ask for help. Yeah! That's it! You should be going now..."
Davis was rather freaked out and quickly left the room.
Tru walked past all seven bodies, waiting for one of them, especially the pretty one, to ask for help. Suddenly, all seven heads turned towards her. "Tru...help us."
"Infected." said Leon's body.
To be continued...