Title: The True Meaning of TARDIS

Fandom: Doctor Who

Rating: It's probably still a 16+

Summary: 5 Scenes/chapters with the same scenario, same time: Jack is drooling over the TARDIS. The only difference each time is … who is drooling over Jack?

Author's Note: This is a very flippant fic I wrote whilst taking a break from some angsty fics I've been writing recently.

Disclaimer: I'm a student. I own a tatty book and a mouldy piece of cheese. I don't own Doctor Who.

Terrifically. Absolutely. Ravishingly. Definitely. Incredibly. Slutty

4) Rose/ 9th Doctor/ Jack/ TARDIS

Jack had been tweaking the TARDIS but by now he was just caressing it. The Doctor and Rose were watching him, green-eyed with emotion.

"It's sickening." Rose declared.

"Yep." The Doctor agreed.

"He should be flirting with us, not her."

"Totally." The Doctor agreed.

Jack remained oblivious to the jealousy he was arousing in his two companions. He was only aware of the TARDIS: of her quantobetadilithiumphaserbanks, or her pandimentionalhyperisolineardrive or… growl… her fiberopticelectrodimentionalalphatempusarray.

"I know she's a good ship but…" Rose cut herself off. "We should be happy for them. He's happy."

"She's happy. Ridiculously so."

"But that's my man."

"That's my ship!" Protested the Doctor.

"She is your ship." Agreed Rose.

"And that's my… your man." The Doctor tried to cover up his Freudian slip but Rose had caught him out.

"That's our man." Rose corrected. The Doctor looked guilty for a second but when he caught sight of Rose' sly smile he burst into a grin. He turned and watched Jack.

Rose couldn't tell what Jack was exactly doing to the TARDIS but she could tell the TARDIS was enjoying it. The temperature in the TARDIS was well above average and the ship was filled to the brim with unresolved sexual tension. Yet Jack was surprisingly naïve to it.

Rose could see how aroused the Doctor was. His face was still in poker-mode but his huge erection was a dead giveaway. The Doctor couldn't tear his eyes away from Jack and when Jack lovingly stroked the panels of the TARDIS the Doctor could barely suppress a groan.

Rose decided that the Doctor needed release. She would be the one to give it to him, hoping that perhaps it may gain Jack's attention.

Rose kissed him with all her might. They kissed until they collapsed on the floor, and then they continued kissing. Rose straddled the Doctor as the Doctor was bucking up against her. She rid him of his leather coat and then started to work on his trousers. Although they were focussing on each other, Jack featured heavily in both their minds.

The Doctor tried to concentrate on getting a message to the TARDIS. Telling her to make Jack look their way. Let Jack know.

Eventually, whether it was through the TARDIS or through the gasps and sounds the Doctor and Rose were making, Jack did finally notice and look. Then he blushed, turned and made as if to leave.

"Nyuuu!" was the only sound the Doctor could make in protest. Rose got off him and stood up so she could talk to Jack better.

"I think what he means is…" Rose was flushed but doing a good job of keeping her breath steady. Better than the Doctor anyway, and he didn't even need as much oxygen. "… He wants you to join us."

The TARDIS flashed in joy at the idea. Jack was still unsure of himself.

"Are you sure, Rose?" He asked. Rose nodded, biting her lip in anticipation. "Are you sure, Doctor?" The Doctor gathered up his strength, walked over to Jack and gave Jack the most hungry, eager, passionate kiss he had ever given or received.

"I think you can take that as a yes." Rose breathed. Jack and the Doctor were still kissing but Jack broke off the kiss and invited Rose to join them. She didn't hesitate.

The atmosphere in the TARDIS that night was of sexual tension and sexual pleasure. The TARDIS and everyone inside were very happy bunnies that night.