Moving on Chapter 3: A New Beginning, a gravitation fanfic

DISCLAIMER: I don't own gravitation or any of the characters, but I have all the episodes and OVA's. Phew now I can continue!

Chapter three: A New Beginning.

Yuki opened his eyes slowly. Pale light seeped in through his closed blinds. He looked around his room; he hadn't left it for a month now. He had just lain in bed and thought about Shuichi. The door opened and K came in looking dead tired. He was holding a tray with a bowl of cereal and some coffee. Yuki looked at him blankly and turned away.

"Yuki…I've got you some breakfast." K looked at the motionless figure on the bed and settled down to some more reasoning and arguing.

"No thank you." Yuki's deep voice sounded lost.

"You've got to eat something. Look I've even made your coffee the way you like it…come on just eat a little and you'll feel a little better. How bout you and I take a walk after that huh?" K tried a mildly cheerful voice which wasn't what he was feeling right now.

"I'd rather stay here. Leave me alone ok?" Yuki didn't bother to turn around and look at the hurt on K's face. He felt K place a hand on his shoulder.

"You've been in here for ages! And you haven't gotten out of that bed since the day of the funeral. You really should eat something and take a walk." K made Yuki face him and picked up the bowl of cereal and offered it to him.

"You know what? I said leave me alone! You don't have to care! It's my life. Let me live it the way I want to. Take your cereal and get out of my room and talk a walk if you like." The cereal bowl thudded against the wall and shattered when Yuki threw it. Something inside K snapped, as he caught hold of the other man and shook him.

"Get out of bed, you baka! You've been in here for a month! You'll just starve to death at the way you're going! You're thinking only about yourself! You don't care about anyone around you! You're not thinking of the people who care about you and want to help you. Is this the way you're keeping the promise you made to Shuichi? Look at you brother in law and sister…they're worried sick about you! And you know why I care?" K swallowed and took a breath. "I care because…well…I know if Shuichi was alive it would break his heart to see you like this. To see you, not keeping his promise. I'm going for a walk." K left the room and Yuki heard the sound of the front door shutting.

K walked down the street at a fast pace. He was loosing it…what kind of a guy was he to have lost his temper like that? Especially when Yuki was feeling so depressed. Not only that, but he'd almost given himself away! I know if Shuichi was alive it would break his heart to see you like this. No it was his heart which was breaking not Shuichi's. He picked up the phone and dialed Tohma's number.

"Ah…K-san. How is everything going?" Tohma sounded a little distant.

"I can't do this! He's not getting out of bed and he refuses to eat anything unless I argue endlessly with him. I give up." K said it slowly.

"I'm sorry K-san. I'll take over if you want me to. I might have better luck…when do you want me there?" Tohma sounded very concerned.

K thought about it. Did he really want Tohma to take over? Mika and Tohma were good people but they would fuss over him. "I'll call you back, Mr. Seguchi." K hung up and started walking back to the apartment.

Yuki slowly got out of bed and walked to the living room. Yeah K had left alright. Yuki couldn't forget the hurt in the man's eyes as he had yelled at him. He looked around the living room, which was spotlessly clean. K had cleaned he whole place up everyday. He walked back to his room and picked up the coffee K had left on the tray and sipped it. It was exactly the way he liked it. He looked at Shuichi's picture. K was right he was acting insane. But he was going insane…there he was again thinking only about himself. He really hadn't thought about how it was affecting Mika and Tohma. K was giving them regular updates of course. He wandered aimlessly around the apartment. K had been pretty patient with him, throughout the week. He decided to take a shower and heard the front door opening as got into the bathroom.

K came in and went straight to Yuki's room to apologize and panicked until he heard the shower. Then he went back to the living room and sat down. He tried his best to hold back his sobs, but they came anyway. He hadn't cried for so long. He put his head down into his arms and fought the losing battle of holding back his tears. It went against his morals of being a man. Men don't cry….he had driven the rule into his head until it had stuck there and driven him. He sat up and wiped his face, getting himself under control again. His phone started to ring and he picked it up and looked around. Yuki was no where to be seen. "Yeah, Mr. Seguchi."

Yuki dressed and walked up to his door and opened his mouth to apologize to K…something he rarely did when he saw the blonde talking with his back turned to him.

"No, Mr. Seguchi…you don't have to come. It's ok. I just lost it for a while…I'm a little tired. Um…yeah I haven't been sleeping too well for a while, but that'll be ok. No I'm not giving up. He's taking a shower so I guess everything will be fine. I'm sorry for all the trouble Mr. Seguchi….yeah I guess you and Mrs. Seguchi can come and visit. Ok then I'll call you and tell toy how things are going. Good bye." As K turned around Yuki silently ducked into his room. Obviously he wasn't supposed to hear that. Why was K staying even when he had treated him so badly? Yuki went out and looked at the long haired man lounging on the couch.

"If you're having so much trouble here K-san…why don't you leave?"

K looked up a little startled, but managed to keep his composure calm. "I wouldn't mind leaving if you'd rather have Mr. Seguchi and your sister staying with you. I just thought that well you wouldn't want people fussing about you all the time. I could call and tell Mr. Seguchi that you want them to stay with you if you want, shall I?" K-looked at him practically.

"No thank you. You're right they would fuss about me and worry. And Mika's pregnant so that wouldn't be too good for her." Yuki sat down in front of K.

"Alright then. They're coming to visit you anyway. So we can work that out then. What would you like for lunch?" K asked him.

"We'll order lunch today. You look like you could use some rest. You can use my bedroom; I've tidied it up a little. I'm going to…to pack away Shuichi's belongings and decide what to do with them. No I don't need any help. Just go get some sleep." Yuki moved towards the room where Shuichi usually slept when they'd had disagreements.

K looked at the retreating figure and then went to get some sleep. The way things were going he'd end up staying here for longer than another month.

Yuki walked into his lover's room and looked around. Everything lay as it was in a big mess. He decided to start with Shuichi's clothes first. The closet was crammed with all the sleeveless or tank tops Shuichi wore. He found a box that could fit everything and started filling it one by one. First he found the yellow and green shirt with the whitish pink shirt Shu had worn they had first met. Then came the black tank top and shorts with the orange and yellow jacket Shuichi wore for his performances, the big orange shirt he had worn when they'd first slept together and the orange sweatshirt he'd worn when he'd first moved in and for their date together.

Each piece of clothing brought back memories from long ago. He carefully folded each item of clothing and put it into the box. Somehow he didn't feel like crying anymore, at least not yet. He hugged the blue vest Shuichi wore when he slept close before putting it into the box as well. In an hour's time the clothing was put away. Then Yuki started looking through the drawers and tried to decide what would have to go and what would have to stay. He found the tear off part of the pass to the Odaiba amusement park, where they'd gone for their first date. And the lyrics for shining collection the song he'd written about Shuichi for Nittle grasper to get him out of his slump. Then he found Shuichi's diary. The first entry he'd written was on the day Yuki had got back from New York.

Today Yuki got back from New York. I have resolved to keep a journal from now on so as to record every waking moment of my life with the person i love best. I tried my hand at making pasta, but it was a disaster. The moment Yuki kissed me I forgot all about it! It was only when the water boiled over and evaporated that I realized I'd forgotten to check on the macaroni I was trying to boil. We had to order food again…then the night went on to be one of the best in my life. Yuki actually said he loved me! I can still hear it ringing in my ears the way his deep voice said it all. I wonder how anybody can love a person as much as I love Yuki. I prayed real hard to Buddha today that I might always be with Yuki whatever happens. Oh my god! I'm late for work I have to go!

Yuki stopped reading and put it down on the table. He wondered if this pain would ever go. He continued checking the odds and ends and decided to keep the whole drawer full of stuff. He put all Shuichi's tapes into a smaller box and tucked it away into his locker in the basement of the apartment. He came back and looked at the room…it was spotlessly clean…as well as depressingly empty. He sat down and continued reading through diary, some entries making him laugh though it was painful. He heard footsteps and turned around, as K entered. The other man looked at him oddly for a moment as Yuki realized that his cheeks were wet…he hadn't realized when he'd started crying. He glanced at K when suddenly the man hugged him.

K hugged him impulsively, before he realized what he was doing. To his surprise Yuki didn't pull back, but stayed as still as a statue. Only his irregular breathing showed that he was crying quietly. As K pulled away a little he saw the silent tears coursing down Yuki's cheeks. He held the man closer waiting for him to stop crying when the doorbell rang rather loudly. They sprang apart and Yuki disappeared into the bathroom.

K opened the door, it was Tohma and Mika. He invited them in and saw Tohma looking at the wet spot on his shirt curiously. "Just dropped some water" he grinned a little apologetically.

"We brought you some lunch." Mika smiled a little, though it was a sad smile, which disappeared completely the moment Yuki appeared. His eyes were a little red and he looked thinner. He gave a tiny half smile when he saw them and didn't resist when Mika stood up and hugged him.

They got out the lunch and started eating, K watching the amount Yuki ate like a hawk making sure Yuki knew it. After the visit…they didn't stay very long, as it was really difficult to make conversation and Yuki kept indicating he'd rather be alone…K helped call the right people and gave away Shuichi's clothes. Then he and Yuki watched some news and a few other channels as well. The publisher's called Yuki asking him when he would be completing the book he was working on, as they need it in two months. Yuki decided to start work on it again and shut himself up in his room.

When K came in later in the evening he found Yuki frowning at the screen angrily. "How's it going?" he asked coming up behind him and staring at the screen.

"How does it look like its going?" Yuki glanced at him full of sarcasm. "I have writers black that's how it's going! I can't write anything…it was supposed to be a happy ending but I can't seem to get into the mood! I wonder why?"

K read a few lines and shook his head. "You know what Yuki? Forget the happy ending! The story seems good, but I guess you should just write what you're feeling now. When Shu…" his voice caught, but he continued. "Back then it would have been easier for you to write a happy story, so I guess you should just write what you're feeling now and the block won't be there. Dinner is waiting."

K started to walk away when he heard a very soft 'thank you K-san.' he turned around. Yuki was still gazing at the screen, his eyes a little bright, but he turned to look at K with a slight smile. K smiled back and went out. At least things were looking up somewhat.

A/N: the fight seen was a little hard to do…but I did the best I could during the circumstances. Maybe in the next few chapters I'll make things work out a little more between K and Yuki. Maybe I'll make the next chapter short and continue the chapter after that with K and Yuki actually falling for each other somewhat. Anyway how was this chapter? I wrote most of this story listening to gravitation tunes to capture the emotion…sniff, I'm getting a little too sensitive which isn't good for a slightly Yuki like person like me.

Arashi.