Is today a special occasion, you may ask, due to the fact I'm updating consecutively. Well, yes, it's my sister's 12th birthday, but I am not updating because of that. I am just bored. I don't have much of what one calls a 'life'. Seems slightly depressing… Heh, not really, I like doing these over and anticipating for the day when I have to rewrite half of the story.

Disclaimer: I own naught of the great and powerful POTC… So far, no plan that hasn't included a human canon device has been devised…

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Chapter 6: Sassy Hangover.

Blair opened her eyes only to be greeted by a powerful ray of sun that seemed to have blacklisted her. The waves thrashing the ship didn't help her situation. She winced as footsteps that seemed to be coming from a well-coordinated marching band made thundering noises above her. Blair winced as she remembered the night before.

Blair sat up fitfully, trying to ignore the hammer blow-like pounding that was taking place in her head. The last thing she could remember was talking to Jack and taking a few sips of rum… quite a few in fact…

'I'm never drinking rum again.' She thought to herself. Blair figured that kind of oath needed some sort of loophole, so she followed this thought with: '…Unless I am afraid for my life.'. She figured that she must have passed out in Captain Jack Sparrow's bed.

A loud knocking came from the door at the end of the room causing Blair to grimace.

"You up yet?" A familiar husky voice asked.

"Yeah!" Blair said a little sharper than she would have liked.

Jack sparrow swaggered in and immediately noticed that she was squinting in the dark room. "Hangover, luv?"

Blair became slightly pissed and felt another rather violent shove of a wave against the ship. She felt like throwing up. Then a dawning realization stole over Blair's face… "Sparrow!! Why are we moving?!?" Blair suddenly became a bit sharper in her instincts.

"Well ye see…. It's quite a story, so if ye wouldn't mind staying where you are th-."

Blair cut him off and stood close to Jack…. Really close…

!!!SMACK!!!

Blair slapped him so hard his head turned away with the impact.

"WHY THE HELL ARE WE MOVING, JACK?!?!?" She screamed as loud as her lungs would allow. "I HAVE TO GET BACK- HEY!!!" Blair shrieked in surprise as Jack rammed into her, sending Blair sprawling backwards.

He held her down and put his hand over her mouth.

"Shhh!!! Don' let the whole crew know I didn't tell you!!" He says in a voice not much louder that a whisper. He didn't move his hand fast enough, and he found it losing blood between Blair's teeth.

"Gahh!!!" He screamed taking his hand off her mouth but keeping her still pretty well pinned.

"Get off me Jack!!" Blair ordered in a harsh whisper.

"No! Hear me out first!!" He says exasperatedly. 'Damned if I let 'er at me again.'

"What exactly are you doing?!?!?" Blair screamed, trying to remain angry as she realized Jack friggin' Sparrow had her pinned to the bed.

"Wha' exactly do ye think I'm doing?" Jack asked Blair. He kept her pinned tightly so she couldn't move one bit.

"Let's ponder this a moment, shall we?" She replied mockingly. 'Might as well mess with his mind…' She thought. 'Kidnapping me, honestly….' " We are in you quarters…. On your bed… You've pinned me down…. And your breathing and heart rate have both accelerated." Jack still looked at Blair questioningly until she arched her brows.

"No!! That's not it at all!!" Jack says in a hurried and quite self-conscious tone.

"THEN WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO KIDNAP ME?!?!?" She yelled straight into his ear. He only winced slightly.

"I have an idea that can help you get out of marrying Norrington." Jack explains. "But you need to help me first."

"What makes you assume I will agree to this?" Blair asked through clenched teeth.

"Nothing… But we have already left Port Royal, so ye don't really have much of a choice."

Blair became annoyed. It was one of those times when she agreed with the opposing side, and she cursed herself for it. "Get off of me, Captain."

"Only under these here terms." He responded. "No kicking, punching, slapping, biting or hair pulling."

Blair paused for half a moment. "Dismemberment?" A gleam of hopefulness shined through her soul at an opening he had left unknowingly.

"NO!!" Jack says in an apprehensive tone.

"Fine!! Just get off!!" Blair yelled. 'For a handsome and overall charming man, he's a bit much like a pirate… Ha! That's right…'

Jack hesitated for a moment and reluctantly unpinned Blair. He stood back and held out his hand to help her up. When she took it and stood, he thought, 'She's not so bad… Mostly bark, not too much of a bite in 'er…' Blair quickly swung her leg at his knee and sent him flying across the room. Jack cursed when the floor broke his fall less than pleasantly. "Wha' did you do tha' for?" He asked in shock. "I thought we 'ad an agreement of sorts!"

"You mentioned nothing of tripping you Jack Sparrow." She retorted and walked out the door.

"Lass has too much sass for her own good." Jack mumbled to himself. He crawled to the bed and used it to help him up. 'Don' think I'll be teachin' her how to use a sword anytime soon.' He thought to himself, rubbing his knees. He didn't incorporate telling her the rest of his plan… yet.

Outside…

Blair stood at the back of the ship, watching Cotton have a heart-to-heart with his parrot. She fumed over Jack and his stupid kidnapping trick. 'I hate him…' She thought. 'But he saved me from Norrington…' She replied… To herself.... 'Yeah, and he kidnapped me.' She retorted angrily. 'Maybe he'll help you in the long run…' She offered herself. 'Maybe he doesn't care at all how I feel…'

After a few schizophrenic moments, Blair was snatched form behind and twirled around to find Jack Sparrow looking back at her. "Look, I'm sorry I kidnapped you, alrigh'?"

"Go away." She said, turning back to the water.

"I want to help you, luv." Jack said. Blair rolled her eyes. "Really I do… But I need you to cooperate. I'll fill you in later, because haven't got the whole plan tweaked out. Right now we're off to collect more stock for the ship."

Blair sighed. 'Stocks in, let's see, rum by chance?' She joked to herself. "Fine… Wait. Where exactly are we going?" She asked, hoping it wasn't the one place she would not be comfortable by any means…

"Tortuga!!" Jack said enthusiastically.

'Ah yes… I knew it.'

"Jack, I really need to borrow some clothing from someone."

"Why? You look just fine."

"I would feel moer comfortable in pants and a shirt if you can spare one."

Jack eyed her questioningly. "You're a strange lass… But I will acquire them for ye."

Blair looked again into her kidnapper's deep brown eyes and found the sight missing something. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something was out of place on the infuriatingly handsome pirate. Blair thought long and hard and when she finally understood, she snapped her fingers. "Captain… Where's your hat?"

He looked puzzled a moment. He obviously hadn't realized it was gone. Then a sudden look of apprehension took over his features. "Crap."

.x.X.x. ELIZABETH'S POV .x.X.x.

She awoke in the darkness, sitting up straight in her bed. Memories of a dream that had brought her out of her sleep made her shake violently. Elizabeth could only remember faint outlines of the dream, and even those were slipping out of reach of her mind like wisps of smoke curling through the air, getting lost in a sudden breeze. 'That was an awful nightmare….' She thought to herself. 'I must go and make sure Blair is all right, even though it was just a dream.'

Elizabeth stood up and walked to the door. She stopped herself as she heard the voices ringing from downstairs.

"...Right over by the bushes!!" A servant told whomever was listening.

"Look, Commodore!" Came her father's voice. "Inside, on the label! There's a name!! It's too small script for me to read…"

"By God…." Came Norrington's voice.

There was a shuffling downstairs and Norrington's voice filled the house. "To the ships!! You are to have no mercy on Jack Sparrow!! Go!"

Elizabeth gasped. When she heard the front door slam, she ran downstairs only to find her father pacing around worriedly. "What is going on?" She demanded. "Why is Commodore Norrington after Sparrow in such a rush?"

"Apparently, last night he was hiding in the gardens. He and his new fiancée Blair-."

"WHAT?!?" She yelled not believing.

"Allow me to continue… He and Blair had gone into the gardens to talk about the wedding plans, or so he says, and he left her there. Blair has gone missing."

"Oh my god… But how did they know it was Jack?" Elizabeth asked in confusion.

"They found this." He said, revealing an all too familiar three-cornered hat.

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I knew I'd get it up in time! I thought I might not finish converting it until tomorrow, but hey, this is great too! Yippee! Okay, enough celebrating.

Terradaina – Yes, I'm am glad you agree with me on that aspect. I never really liked the Norrington character, and I take every chance I can to make an ass out of him.

Princess of Pirates – I hope that works. It jus isn't fair, and now I've lost reviews and reviewers due to it. I'm with you though. We should pick a day out of the week and recruit people to storm them with letters on that day. It might work.

Rachel Sparrow – Yep, and now I must recreate much of the story. Life is just one huge pain in the ass and I hate the Chaos theory with a burning passion.

Moulin-Rouge-Pirate – That was an awesome movie! And no, that's not my inspiration though I wouldn't be ashamed if it were. Actually, my old homeroom teacher used to be in the CIA and whenever we asked about it he'd say "If I told you I'd have to kill you.". I think he would actually have had to also, so we never picked at it too hard.

MereAngel – I'm with you there. Conversations are totally not my bag when I'm writing the review, but when I answer them like this after having finished a chapter, I'm all energetic and I don't know when to shut up. All reviews are great, and thanks for being one of the few to do so!