The quote, "There's a fine line between love and hate," has once again hit me. The truth of it startles me more than I thought possible. I've always acted the big, bad Gryffindor; best friend and partner-in-crime of James Potter; professional ladies man of Hogwarts. But now... I've fallen head over heals for Severus Snape.
I had really hoped at first that it was just some stupid phase or crush, but since last speaking to him... I've decided it's because I really do... lo... er... like him. Strongly.
I still can't say the word though.
I don't know if he feels the same way though. If this were a situation with a girl, I'd just make some suave, charming gesture and say, "Love you," and she'd giggle and blush and say it back. I honestly can't picture that kind of scene with Severus.
I willingly called him Severus. I'm definitely mad for him.
Back on topic. If I were to say it to him, he'd probably get sick, or curse me, or worst of all laugh in my face. He is a Slytherin after-all.
Oh. He's a Slytherin.
I kind of stopped thinking of him that way for a while. It was nice, thinking of him as just Severus and not Snivellus the Scary Slytherin. He's taken on two personalities for me.
On the one hand, you've got Severus. Severus is actually sort of kind. Severus grins at my corny jokes, even if it's only a small one or one that only shows up in his eyes. Severus kisses me and I forget where I am... hell, I forget who I am.
On the other hand, there's Snivellus. Snivellus is the mean little greasy kid that annoyed my friends and I all through school. Snivellus is an evil Slytherin who'd curse you as soon as look at you. Snivellus doesn't care about anyone or anything.
This is kind of scary. I've just had an epiphany.
If I want any kind of relationship to work with Severus, I have to also have a relationship with Snivellus.
Yeah, it sounds obvious to you. To me... it's a challenge.
Luckily, I'm always up for a good challenge.
Sorry so long since I updated. School's almost over and then I'll try to write more.