Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed

A/N: I'm officially back and my writers block is totally gone. There may be a lot of chapters written for this tonight! But they won't all be posted; I like to separate chapters between a few days. This chapter may be a little confusing because it jumps from different perspectives all at the same kinda time, you'll understand it more when you read it.

Vulnerable Child – Chapter 11

All she had wanted was to be held, for someone to tell her everything was going to be alright but instead she had been left out in the cold - emotionally. Her eyes began to well with tears as she watched her grandmothers body disappearing slowly inside the kitchen, leaving her alone and afraid in the hallway. She pulled her knees in towards her ever swelling stomach – even though she was barely pregnant she already felt as though she had an enormous bump – as if trying to lock the rest of the world away. Slowly a single tear dropped from her eyes; quickly her hand wiped it away. Mothers don't cry, mothers are strong, and bold… they look after everyone around them… until this abortion I'm someone's mother… I have to be strong… She pushed herself off the ground and stood, calmly trying to stop tears.

As the door swung slowly shut behind her, she felt the cold begin to creep in. It was a warm day outside, tress remained motionless in the light breeze, fighting to retain their upright position, children outside giggled as the played in sprinklers set up in their front yards, even the birds had begun to sing… with every happy laugh, or joyful tune a knife twisted deeper into her heart. The kitchen seemed bitter and unforgiving of her harsh actions. Why did I just leave her there, upset, crying... pregnant? I should have hugged her, held her, and reassured her that she was still loved… but I couldn't even look at her. All the problems in the past are nothing… just meaningless now. She had always been a wayward child, why didn't I see something like this coming, how could I have been so blind? Gently gathering cups and other dishes located at varied points around the room she wandered to the sink, and then she heard it. Soft sobs from the hallway, she wanted to run to her, throw her arms around her and never let her go, never let her get hurt again. But she didn't. She turned to face the doorway, everything in her mind was screaming at her to go, but her feet wouldn't move. She heard the tears begin, and as quickly as they had they subsided, to a low murmur. How can I be so heartless?

The stairs seemed to go on forever, like every step she took placed three more in front of her. It seemed to take too long for her to reach the top, the effort involved seemed far to great, and her legs seemed to weaken with every breath. A few steps later she allowed her body to fall, landing uncomfortably on a hard step. Her head in her hands she tried to calm down, but inside her anger raged a war. She heard her grandmother in the kitchen, lifting dishes, running the water to clean up. And then, she heard her sister, crying. Lifting her head she listened to the tears, but couldn't understand them. How could she have been so heartless? Taking a decision like this into her own hands, its not her decision. She doesn't have all the answers, she never will, she couldn't even see what was going on. But I did. I knew. I always know what's happening in this family, I always keep the secrets and fix things, and watch out for every one. What do I get, nothing… shit… but still I'm watching everyone and I didn't know until it was too late. I couldn't stop this, I couldn't tell her to beware something I've never experienced myself… I can't protect her…

They're watching me… I can tell. Watching to see what I'm doing, how I'm acting… I can't let them intimidate me…

How can she sit there, red eyes, clutching her stomach… how can she expect to sit and eat without knowing I'm watching her… Grams could care less; I mean… she's not even looking…

Piper's so angry with me… and Phoebe as well. How can I have failed them so badly, how can I have failed Patty?

Dinner that evening was awkward, all that could be hear was the clinking of forks to china, and meaningless drone from the television in the other room, for once even Prue sat silently. Phoebe's eyes darted from her grandmother to Piper and back again. Piper's eyes remained focused on her plate, she knew Phoebe was watching her, as she had been secretly watching Phoebe all night, but she refused to look her sister directly in the eye. Grams looked towards a portrait of Patty as a child, probably reminiscing about the past, about the perfect life before now, Piper thought.

"Pass the salt?" asked Prue, nudging Piper out of her vicious thoughts. The salt shaker was scraped along the table, causing an awful noise. Normally this sound would have gone unnoticed, but it cut through the silence sharply. Prue lifted the salt shaker and glanced at her family, looking at each member in a different way.

"May I be excused," Phoebe muttered her plate was still full; she had merely rearranged the food. Grams looked down at her granddaughter's plate.

"You haven't eaten anything," she replied, trying to keep the annoyance in her voice to a minimum.

"I'm not hungry," Phoebe pushed her hair from her face, and attempted to move the plate from her.

"You have to eat, to keep some strength… for… erm… later…" Grams stuttered, phrasing her sentence very carefully.

"I don't want it," Phoebe glared at her grandmother, and then moved her fierce look to Piper, who continued to look at her food. The less she said the better, for now she hadn't said a word, she wanted to keep it that way.

"You can go to you room," said Grams sternly, I'm the adult; I have to show her that she's not going to beat me… I'm in charge; I know what's best for her… she has to know this… she has to see this…

"Where else am I going to go? California…" she paused as she got up from the table and began to lift her plate, "I certainly won't be going there in this state," She muttered as she left the room.

"This state? What state is she in?" questioned Prue. Grams and Piper exchanged looks for the first time that night,

"Its nothing, just Phoebe trying to gain sympathy… you know what she's like." Said Grams, and she felt guilty as soon as she had uttered the words.

"But…"

"Drop it Prue," said Piper as she got up from her seat and left the room.

"Its nothing, just Phoebe trying to gain sympathy… you know what she's like." Phoebe heard her grandmother talking to Prue in the other room; her eyes began to well up again as she left out a soft, pain filled sigh. She thinks I'm just an attention seeker, that's all I am… how can she think that of me? If only she knew, if only she understood what it's like being a teenager, and a girl, and pregnant at fifteen, after… after… well everything. I can't believe she thinks that I'm just an attention seeker…

I can't believe she just said that… Phoebe's not an attention seeking, sympathy wanting little kid… she's in real trouble. I just, yeah she was just covering for Phoebe's situation but she could have said something else, why did she say that? Piper's eyes glared into her grandmother, she glanced to Prue who was still asking questions,

"Drop it Prue," she said before getting up from the table and walking out of the room. She wandered into the kitchen where she found Phoebe; she was standing so quietly it was almost as if she wasn't there. Piper walked up behind her, even though she could feel the hostility coming from Phoebe she still wanted to comfort her. Wanted her to feel safe and loved, to know that no matter what they were sisters and that nothing would ever come between them, not even this. She wanted to reach out to Phoebe, but dared not to. All this issues of that day were still to much in the air, everything and everyone was tense.