Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed

Vulnerable Child – Chapter 12

"I'm not you know," muttered Phoebe. She felt Piper behind her, could smell her weak perfume minutes ago. Piper stood shell shocked, her arm which just a moment ago had been reaching out for Phoebe had now fallen like a limp, useless, motionless lump at her side. She swallowed and prepared to speak, although she still wasn't sure how to respond.

"I'm not really… I mean yeah, I used to be but this… this wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to screw up so badly, to fall pregnant at fifteen. I mean its kinda ridiculous when you think about it, it's the kind of thing you read about in magazines, or see on lifetime TV. It doesn't actually happen." She paused, and turned to face Piper, a small smile spreading across her face, "Well, actually that's not entirely true. I guess all those lifetime stories have to be based on something right, I mean people can't just think these things up outta no where, right…" She looked to Piper for approval of what she was saying, but found only a silent stony look. It wasn't that Piper was being hostile, she really wasn't. She just didn't know how to respond, how can you respond when you're younger sister is trying to understand something this huge? She remained silent.

"Or maybe they did, and then someone saw the movie and thought you know that would be kinda cool. To have a baby that young, you could be a cool mom, a day care gym slip mom. A mom who wears cool clothes and knows about stuff, maybe some people want that." She shrugged her shoulders, knowing that it was a very small percentage of people that wanted that, "I sure didn't. I wanted to go to all the cool parties, kiss the boys, fall in love, but not have kids. Not yet. I want a career, I don't know what kinda career I want, but I want one. Not many people know that, they just see the outside me. The girl who does go to all the cool parties, the girl who kisses all the boys – all the wrong boys – the girl who seems like she having the time of her life." She paused again, before Piper's silence had been worrying but now it was comforting, now she could just talk. "But…" she paused again, as if trying to get up the courage, "You know something, they never peel away the layers. If they did they would see me, for me… you know. I mean, like see the girl who doesn't really enjoy the parties, often enjoying watching TV more than partying. They would see the girl without the perfect family, or the perfect boyfriend… they would see the girl who hates her boyfriends. The girl, who uses them, uses them in order to try and dull something out. To feel something more."

She stopped once more and looked towards the kitchen table; Piper took her hint and walked towards it. Then they sat. Phoebe didn't say anything else for several minutes. Her eyes just darted from each different corner of the room.

"I'm not saying I'm unhappy all the time, sometimes I'm happy. Mostly when I'm at home, in my room, or at the mall with you and Prue… places where the pressures off. But people don't see this Phoebe, they just see the Phoebe with mysterious bruises on her arms, at least recently they do." This caused Piper to become worried, her eyebrows raised and she listened more intently,

"I tell them that Rick and I just were trying new things… they giggle and call me sexy nicknames. Build this false persona even more, but that leaves me wondering… If I' helping to build this brick wall of a reputation around myself how long before it all comes crashing down? Just now, I want to tear it down, brick by brick."

"Go on," said Piper quietly, she hadn't wanted to say anything but felt that if she didn't Phoebe would shoot off in a tangent and she wouldn't find out about the bruises she was suddenly so curious about.

"The bruises, yeah… well they were the most obvious sign. I should have looked at them and saw Rick for what he was… but I didn't. I stayed with him, I told myself I loved him. I wasn't true of course, I didn't. I don't love him. How can you love someone who hurts you?" The question made Piper stop breathing, and Phoebe stop talking. It seemed as though she needed an answer before she could continue, but it was an answer that Piper couldn't give her. So they waited.

Within a few seconds Piper began to breathe again, and with every shallow breath that she took Phoebe began working up the courage to continue. A tear began to slowly run down her cheek,

"How can you love someone who calls you names, like slut, and whore, and bitch… how can you stay with someone who yells and you and tells you you're nothing without them… how can you stay with someone who raped you?"

Piper's eyes widened, and she looked directly at her sister. She hadn't known this, she just assumed that the baby was a result of Phoebe being stupid and irresponsible. Now she knew it was something much graver, she now understood more why Phoebe wanted this abortion, why she needed this abortion. Although she still didn't condone it, she understood it. This is what Phoebe had needed all along.

"I'm not you know…"

"Not what?"

"I'm not all those things Grams said, but I am… I'm…" Piper stared at Phoebe inquisitively, Phoebe bit gently on her bottom lip before she spoke again,

"I'm in trouble,"