Chapter Three
The boy looked like he was struck by blue lightning. He couldn't believe that there were two oversized sea creatures and a tiger on one part of a sidewalk. In fact, he was so stunned that all he could mutter was, "Hi," before opening the gates and walking into the enormous house. Calvin of course, was shocked by how rude he thought the boy was.
"WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM!" Calvin called after the boy, "DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY CONSIDERATION FOR THE PEOPLE WHO PASS YOU OR THE PEOPLE YOU PASS! HAVE YOU SAID HI TO ANYONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD!"
"I'm sorry," the boy said, "I'm just so surprised to see a tiger and two oversized sea creatures."
"Well, WHO ARE YOU?" Calvin grumbled.
"I'm Mac," the boy answered.
"And what is this place?" Calvin asked.
"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends," Mac replied.
"WHAT KIND OF DUMB NAME IS THAT!" Calvin yelled.
Mac was now annoyed. "Well, I'm sorry if I gave you information that didn't please you, but if you want me to lie, SAY SO!"
"WELL FINE," Calvin replied, "I WON'T- hey, what's that in your backpack?" Calvin had spotted a familiar book.
"Oh, this?" Mac said, and he took off his backpack and took out his book, and sure enough, a Series of Unfortunate Events was entitled on it.
"This is such a great series," Mac said, "I've read them all, but I'm rereading them.
"Where are the other books?" Calvin asked.
"In the house, Mac answered, "Come on; follow me," so Calvin, Hobbes, SpongeBob and Patrick followed Mac through the gates and into Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
And what a house it was! Zillions of weird creatures were walking and slithering this way and that, and the only human in sight was a teenager walking towards them.
"Hey, Mac," said the teenager, "Who are these guys, abandoned friends?"
"No, Frankie," Mac replied. "In fact, I don't know who they are, or where they came from.
"Well, Bloo's up in his room," Frankie said, and she walked away.
"Come on," Mac said, "I'll tell you about this place on the way up to my imaginary friend's room," and with that, the five creatures walked across the main hall, and up the stairs.
"So Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends is an orphanage for imaginary friends who have been abandoned, or for any other reason can't live with their creators anymore," explained Mac, "So they go here, and live here until someone wants to adopt one."
"This is lame," Calvin muttered to SpongeBob.
"What are your names?" Mac asked.
"I am Dictator-for-Life Calvin of the G.R.O.S.S club!" Calvin announced "This is Vice President Hobbes, and these are two morons.
"And what are their names?" Mac said, growing impatient of Calvin's attitude.
"SpongeDoop and Patrick," Calvin said.
"That's SpongeBob," SpongeBob said impatiently too. "And we don't have the slightest idea of what's going on. First me and Patrick trip over a rock, and we come crashing all the way into the Chum Bucket, and we accidentally fall into Plankton's new invention along with these two, and now were here wondering how to get back, what on earth Calvin and Hobbes are doing here, and what a book called a Series of Unfortunate Events has to do with anything."
"Well, buddy," Calvin growled, "For your information, we were on a diving field trip when this plankton dude zaps us into that town of yours, and he sent us through his transporter thingy, so we have to get somewhere to, and we think that a Series of Unfortunate Events might mean something, because I was given the assignment of reading them for school.
"Don't you feel bad for the Quagmires?" Mac asked. At this, Hobbes broke into tears. "What did I do?" Mac asked.
"Oh, he's just overreacting over the book because he feels bad for the Quagmires." Calvin said.
"When we can go back in time so it's real!" Hobbes cried.
Calvin snapped his fingers. "That's it!" he exclaimed, "I can build another time machine so we can go back in time so none of this ever happened! But I'll need a box."
"We've got some boxes in Bloo's room," said Mac, "And perfect timing because we're here."
"Finally!" Calvin said, and Mac opened the door to reveal four imaginary friends. One was a combonation of a plane, a plant, and a bird that was in a nest, and it said, "Coco," in a funny voice. There was a big, tall red friend with a jagged eye, and a doll-like arm, and he said, "Hi, Mac!" There was a big, purple monster that looked scary, but looked pleased when he said, "Senior, Mac!" and Hobbes realized that he was Spanish. And fourthly there was a small, blue blob that was shaped like a grave, and he scarcely noticed anyone at the door because he was trying to do paddle ball on his own, although it looked like he stunk at it.
"Hi everybody," Mac said, and introduced his company. "Guys, meet Calvin, Hobbes, SpongeBob, and Patrick. Their here to find a box so they can get back somewhere, although I'm not sure a box can do much good-"
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Calvin yelled, "NEVER, AND I MEAN NEVER, UNDERESTIMATE MY INVENTIONS! I AM THE GREATEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!"
"So am I!" the blue blob suddenly said.
HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA…
"Listen dude," Calvin said, "I need a box to make a time machine-"
"YOU'RE MAKING A TIME MACHINE WITH A BOX!" the blob exploded, "I WAS ONCE, UNTIL IT WAS INTERUPPTED BY A LITTLE DOG INCIDENT! BUT THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME TO DO IT!" and the blob slithered off to a closet, and took out a box, perfect for another time machine. Immediately, Calvin and the blob got to work.
"Forgive me," Mac said to Hobbes, "He's Bloo, that's Coco, that's Wilt, the tall one, and that's Eduardo."
"Hey, Mac," said someone at the door. It was Frankie, and she was holding what looked like a newspaper, "Your newspaper came in, so I'd thought you want it," and she handed it to Mac. Hobbes looked in astonishment to see that it was a copy of The Daily Punctilio. The headline read, "LEMONY SNICKET CAPTURED!" And shaking slightly, Hobbes said quietly, "Calvin?"
"Finished!" Calvin and Bloo said. Mac handed the paper to Bloo, who's reaction was, "Oh, Mac, you know I don't like this junk, it's bad for my rep," and he handed the paper to Calvin, who looked at the headline after saying, "What's your reputation stand behind?"
"Authority," Bloo answered.
HAAAAAAAA…
"Hey," Calvin said as he studied the headline, "Snemony Licket was captured! This can't be! How is he going to write more books? Come on Hobbes, Mac, and Boo, we've got to go back in time before this happened! Ed, Will, and Kuku, stay here and give the morons two water helmets."
"I'm sorry," Wilt said, "But that is not nice to say-"
"WHATEVER, I'M BUSY!" And with that, the four got into the time machine, Mac put the series of books into the slot, and were now heading for the undeterminable time of, 'A Series of Unfortunate Events.'