Little did Sirius and Alice know, Peter had been watching the whole time. Although he had been excited at the prospect of seeing Alice naked, his enthusiasm had quickly turned to jealousy as he watched Sirius enjoy all the secret parts of her body that he, Peter, would probably never even glimpse again. His jealousy of Sirius at this moment was actually what later drove him to become a Death Eater and betray his friends.
Since they had gotten away with their "escapades" in History of Magic, Sirius and Alice decided to "do it" again in Transfigurations the next day. They were busy snogging under the desk, and Lily and James were engaged in "similar activity" nearby. Suddenly, and for no apparent reason, Lily glanced from her seat across the room to where Sirius and Alice were "at it." Also inexplicable was the reason why Professor McGonagall chose that moment to call on Lily.
"Miss Evans, what is the spell to transfigure a lemon shark into a key chain?"
Relieved that McGonagall had not glanced her way a moment earlier, Lily smirked, "Go ask Alice when she's ten feet tall." She was referring to an unfortunate incident involving a Stretching Potion (it was the user that stretched, not the potion itself), and she accompanied this comment with a pointed glance in Alice and Sirius' direction.
"Goodness!" cried McGonagall when she saw what was going on underneath the desk. "Black! Made-up-maiden-name-for-Alice! DETENTION!" she practically roared.
Sirius and Alice glanced at each other, startled, but glad that they were not to be expelled. But then, McGonagall dropped her next bombshell.
"AND, we shall be seeing the headmaster about this, immediately after class, should you two be willing to get dressed for the opportunity." The class laughed as Alice and Sirius blushed, but, after what seemed like an eternity, the lesson continued. The whole time, Alice and Sirius were nervous wrecks waiting to learn of their punishment.
When the lesson was over, she snapped, "This way," and they obediently followed. When they reached the stone griffin leading to Dumbledore's office, McGonagall said, "Cauldron cakes," and the griffin-door jumped aside. They rode the stone spiral escalator in silence, and McGonagall knocked when they reached the door at the top.
Sirius and Alice made another attempt at snogging while waiting for Dumbledore to answer the door, but unfortunately, McGonagall looked behind her and caught them at it. She had just opened her mouth to issue a fresh reprimand when a voice called pleasantly, "Come in." McGonagall closed her mouth quickly, glaring at them before turning to open the door.
"Minerva, I am already aware of the situation," said Dumbledore as McGonagall approached his desk. "the punishment for this case will be the same as it was for Benjamin Lewis and Amanda Leal, who also attempted to, er, 'do it' in class six years ago."
"What is the punishment then?" asked McGonagall impatiently.
"Tungsten," Dumbledore said simply.
"Tungsten?" queried Sirius, Alice, and McGonagall together.
"Tungsten," repeated Dumbledore. "You are to work in Professor Flitwick's tungsten mines every Saturday for the next month."
"Professor Flitwick has tungsten mines?" asked Alice dubiously.
"Yes. You will report to the professor this Saturday promptly at nine."
"Nine at night?" asked Sirius stupidly. Dumbledore merely gave him a stern look over the top of his glasses. (Dumbledore's glasses; not Sirius'. Sirius doesn't wear glasses anyway.)
Then, Dumbledore dismissed them. McGonagall turned to leave as well, but Dumbledore stopped her, saying, "Minerva, please stay."
But since this story follows Alice and Sirius, I don't have to tell you what Dumbledore said to McGonagall. HA-HA!
Sirius and Alice met James and Lily in the Gryffindor common room. Or rather, they caught them snogging in the common room. When Alice saw Lily, her eyes narrowed. "You…you stinker!" insulted Alice lamely.
"Is that the best you can do?" taunted Lily, rising to the occasion. "So what's your punishment?"
"Tungsten," said Sirius glumly.
"Tungsten?" asked James, allowing himself to be drawn in.
"Tungsten," said Alice equally glumly. "And it's all YOUR fault," she said, pointing at Lily.
"MY fault!" exclaimed Lily. "YOU two were the ones trying to have xes - I mean sex, under the desk! I merely pointed it out to McGonagall, who would have seen it sooner or later anyway!"
All of a sudden, James burst into song, almost as if this were a musical.
James
COME WHAT MAY,
COME WHAT MAY,
I WILL LOVE YOU UNTIL MY DYING DAY.
"What the hell was that about?" asked Sirius.
"Oh, he's been doing that periodically ever since he got hit by a hex from Snivellus," Alice informed Sirius.
"What hex is that?" Sirius queried.
"Cantablilis," said Lily simply.
"Perhaps we should take him to Madame Pomfrey," suggested Alice, grievances against Lily forgotten.
"No, it's bound to wear off any moment now," Lily reassured her, "and besides -"
James
SUDDENLY SEYMOUR
IS STANDING BESIDE ME,
DON'T NEED NO MAKEUP,
DON'T HAVE TO PRETE-E-END!
"How did you even know that song, James? It's from an AMERICAN musical, after all," pointed out Sirius.
"I don't know it," explained James, "that's part of the hex - I sing songs I don't know."
"…A visit to Madame Pomfrey is looking better and better…" thought Lily aloud. And she and James departed, leaving the already-snogging-again Alice and Sirius in peace.
They were rapidly approaching the hospital wing, when all of a sudden, Lily pulled James into the nearest lavatory and began furiously kissing him with all the pent-up passion of the last ten minutes. When she temporarily freed James, his hair even more rumpled than usual, he said, "Can we go elsewhere? I hate snogging in the bog."
Lily quickly agreed, and they searched for a convenient corner. Before long, they were snogging in the hospital wing, when suddenly, James did something sure to draw attention to them.
James
BILLY, DON'T BE A HERO,
DON'T BE A FOOL WITH YOUR LIFE,
BILLY, DON'T BE HERO,
COME BACK AND MAKE ME YOUR WIFE
"…If you get any gayer-sounding, I'm going to dump you," warned Lily