ALiCE
-4-
Looking back, I wonder why no one can tell me her name. The girl was raped, and went
to trial against her criminal. I understand that her identity was not revealed to the public,
being that she was a minor, but certainly someone, somewhere should be able to tell me
the truth. Unfortunately, I am unable to come into contact with these people. If I were to
call anyone and question the whereabouts or details of a girl who led such an accursed
existence, the Mob would certainly pick up the scent and pick off myself and my young
daughter.
I say young, despite the eighteen years of age, because she is young. In my mind, she is
barely more than a week old, and the illness that has overtaken her mind and body cannot
be more than a year or two in duration. She is new at this, being a recluse, and like any
novice, is known to make mistakes every so often. (All this, of course, adds to my theory
that her entire sickness may in fact be just a well-rehearsed act.)
The notes of the previous doctor mention such an incident. ALiCE, alone in her room
except for the nurse attempting to bathe her, was silently staring out the window when a
small gasp escaped her previously impenetrable lips. Rushing over to her side, the aide
searched for a sign of what could have possibly caused this minor fiasco, but saw nothing
outside the window but a small white rabbit. ALiCE has never owned a rabbit. My
parents were both horribly allergic to animals of any kind (my sister and myself
excluded), and my sister can recall no experience so significant that would cause ALiCE
to react in such a manner. The only rabbits ALiCE has ever seen lived in a pet store, and
when passing them by she would never give them more than a second look.
I again guess that something about this rabbit held great meaning to ALiCE.
Unfortunately, I have yet to discover what exactly that significance is. I hold to the belief
that this is a sign of a fraud because well-kept experimentation records have shown that
the young patient had never before uttered a single sound, even under (for reasons I may
never be fully aware of) intense pain and torture. With the strong determination of a
woman on a mission, one may certainly be able to withstand any amount of pain, but in a
moment of shock or despair, instinct takes over, and ALiCE let her guard down a moment
too long.
It seems odd for me to chastise a man for interpreting my daughter's dream in one breath
and then overanalyze her minuscule actions the next, but if one where to see ALiCE as
she dreams, one would see my point. One dark evening I did just that, sneaking my frame
into her small room, and observing her at a time when her most primitive instincts are at
the forefront of her being. In her dreams I saw no sign of suffering that could be linked to
the nightmares the previous doctor so believed she had. In a moment of spontaneity I
leaned in close and whispered into her ear "Follow the white rabbit" and another small
gasp escaped her trembling lips. The rabbit means something, but what I still do not
know. I am, however, nearly positive that this is all a game she plays, for reasons that she
alone must know of and comprehend.
It will come down to a battle of discipline between patient and doctor as to when she will
emerge from her daydream and rejoin the rest of civilized society.
***
-4-
Looking back, I wonder why no one can tell me her name. The girl was raped, and went
to trial against her criminal. I understand that her identity was not revealed to the public,
being that she was a minor, but certainly someone, somewhere should be able to tell me
the truth. Unfortunately, I am unable to come into contact with these people. If I were to
call anyone and question the whereabouts or details of a girl who led such an accursed
existence, the Mob would certainly pick up the scent and pick off myself and my young
daughter.
I say young, despite the eighteen years of age, because she is young. In my mind, she is
barely more than a week old, and the illness that has overtaken her mind and body cannot
be more than a year or two in duration. She is new at this, being a recluse, and like any
novice, is known to make mistakes every so often. (All this, of course, adds to my theory
that her entire sickness may in fact be just a well-rehearsed act.)
The notes of the previous doctor mention such an incident. ALiCE, alone in her room
except for the nurse attempting to bathe her, was silently staring out the window when a
small gasp escaped her previously impenetrable lips. Rushing over to her side, the aide
searched for a sign of what could have possibly caused this minor fiasco, but saw nothing
outside the window but a small white rabbit. ALiCE has never owned a rabbit. My
parents were both horribly allergic to animals of any kind (my sister and myself
excluded), and my sister can recall no experience so significant that would cause ALiCE
to react in such a manner. The only rabbits ALiCE has ever seen lived in a pet store, and
when passing them by she would never give them more than a second look.
I again guess that something about this rabbit held great meaning to ALiCE.
Unfortunately, I have yet to discover what exactly that significance is. I hold to the belief
that this is a sign of a fraud because well-kept experimentation records have shown that
the young patient had never before uttered a single sound, even under (for reasons I may
never be fully aware of) intense pain and torture. With the strong determination of a
woman on a mission, one may certainly be able to withstand any amount of pain, but in a
moment of shock or despair, instinct takes over, and ALiCE let her guard down a moment
too long.
It seems odd for me to chastise a man for interpreting my daughter's dream in one breath
and then overanalyze her minuscule actions the next, but if one where to see ALiCE as
she dreams, one would see my point. One dark evening I did just that, sneaking my frame
into her small room, and observing her at a time when her most primitive instincts are at
the forefront of her being. In her dreams I saw no sign of suffering that could be linked to
the nightmares the previous doctor so believed she had. In a moment of spontaneity I
leaned in close and whispered into her ear "Follow the white rabbit" and another small
gasp escaped her trembling lips. The rabbit means something, but what I still do not
know. I am, however, nearly positive that this is all a game she plays, for reasons that she
alone must know of and comprehend.
It will come down to a battle of discipline between patient and doctor as to when she will
emerge from her daydream and rejoin the rest of civilized society.
***