Okay, you know what? I felt so bad about leaving you with nothing to read, that I wrote y'all another chapter. Don't you feel so very special? Well, many thanks to Sojuske, boogle, and Sunrise over the Tango Facotry for great reviews! Thnak boogle for persuading me to update in her review. Okay, here's the new chapter. (Seriously the last one for a while).

Lister Interviewed

"Now for a commercial break," said Leona Alwaysright, to the video camera and audience. If people had been watching their telly at home, they would have seen a stupid commercial for cat food and a commercial with a catchy jingle about diapers, and of course, the tampon commercial.

"And welcome back to Describing Life," said Leona smiling. "Our next interviewee is a man from planet earth. Earth? Well, where ever he's from, I'm sure he will be entertaining. Please give a big round of applause to Mr. Dave Lister!"

The crowd clapped and cheered as Lister came walking out followed closely by Bobo Neverwrong who was making sure that he wasn't going to run away. Several teenaged girls in the crowd had purchased large buttons that said 'I love Dave Lister!' on them and were screaming out his name. What weirdos.

"Now Dave," said Leona, as the crowd quieted. "Please have a seat." Lister sat. "Now, I'm going to interview you. That means I ask you questions and you answer them."

Lister stared at her. Sure, he was stupid, but not even Rimmer was that stupid.

"Okay," said Leona, "Now, tell me, no, tell us," she motioned around at the crowd, "what are your friends, or acquaintances like?"

"Okay," said Lister, getting himself into a more comfortable position. This consisted of taking off his shoes, (much to Leona's dismay), and propping his legs and feet up on the table in front of him. "Well, first there's Rimmer. You know how when you go to college and get a roommate, he's supposed to be your best friend? Well, that's what I thought about Rimmer for the first thirty seconds I knew him. But then he put on his Hammond Organ music and he became my worst nightmare. I have to share a room with him! He's so undeniably stupid. He's failed the exact same test thirteen times. He's a sad attempt at a man."

The crowd cheered for Lister and boo-hissed at Rimmer.

"What about your other mates?" asked Leona.

"Next there is Kryten. Now, he really gets on my nerves. He's always got to watch this undeniably stupid television show called' Androids,' and if he misses it, I have to record it for him. It's a nightmare. Then, he insists on cleaning my room sometimes. When I go in there after he's cleaned, I find it covered in lace, and all my collections of things are in the trash compactor. Like my mold collection, he's thrown that out before. And my playboy cut-outs. He just doesn't get it."

The crowd cheered again, egging him on.

"Finally," said Lister, relaxing into his plush chair, "there's Cat. Cat's a really fun person. Sometimes. I mean, I have these really great conversations with him, but then we both go away feeling undeniably stupid. It's terrible to feel that way when you're with a mate. And sometimes, he's just disgusting. I mean, I can eat a lot of things, but I can't eat a raw fish!"

That set the crowd roaring again, making Lister's ego get quite a bit larger.

"What do you do?" asked Leona.

"Hmm?" asked Lister.

"I mean, your job. What do you do?" she asked.

"I don't do anything," said Lister, getting great applause from the crowd. "I live the free life."

Bobo Neverwrong came back out onto the stage to usher Lister from it. Lister was given a cup of water and locked back in his conference room.

As he was leaving the stage, Leona called for a great round of applause of Lister, her first willing contestant in quite a while.

Back in the conference rooms of the other dwarfers, the big screens had switched on again. First, all of them had to endure to commercials for cat food, diapers, and tampons. Then Lister's face appeared on the screen. Needless to say the guys were not to happy to hear what he was saying.

My God, he's had to go and embarrass me again. I didn't fail thirteen times. I just did no so good, thought Rimmer.

I get lots of things, thought Kryten. Like Androids. I get Androids. Those playboy things he keeps are awful anyways. It's just naked girls. What's so great about that? I much prefer a vacuum catalogue.

Can't eat raw fish? How outrageous. Why didn't monkey face say anything about my beautiful ass? thought Cat.

Please, please review. I hope you like it. Oh, I deserve reviews 'cause I updated now instead of in two weeks. Ha!