Wow! Okay, thanks a bunch to Sunrise over the Tango factory for being the first, and so far only, person to review my previous chapter. So thanks a bunch to Sunrise and whoever else might review after I write this chapter. Here it is . .

All Together

Each of the four dwarfers sat in their private cubicles watching stupid commercials on the big screen. None of them had gotten over what the others had said about them. It seemed as if somebody was trying to send their already sketchy relationships down the drains. Pun intended.

The snack that smiles back goldfish, sang the large screen.

Simultaneously, the door to each cubicle opened and a person stepped in. Rimmer was greeted by Leona Alwaysright. Lister by Bobo Neverwrong. Cat by Ira Notanidiot. And Kryten by Sarah Verysmart.

Each member of Red Dwarf was ushered out of the cubicle and into another larger conference room. What they didn't know was that there were hidden cameras all over the room that would soon be filming and broadcasting their every move and word.

"You all should stay in here for a while to work out your differences," smiled Leona at the four shipmates. The other three producers smiled and waved before leaving the room after Leona. Nobody heard the lock click.

The room was very white with padded walls and floor, but at the time, nobody paid the least bit of attention to the strangeness of the room. The first thing Lister did was throw a mighty punch at Kryten, hitting him in the eye.

Rimmer, being the coward that he was, backed away into a corner and covered his head with his arms. Though he was hard to hurt in his hard light form, Rimmer had an acute fear of pain. Unfortunately, Cat went for Rimmer, instead of joining the fight between Lister and Kryten.

"You said I wasn't beautiful." Cat kicked Rimmer hard. Rimmer whimpered. "That alone deserves death."

Rimmer stood up. "Well, you can't hurt me," he jeered. "I'm a hologram." Rimmer tried reaching inside himself to remove his light bee, but decided that it was not a good idea to do so. Then Cat could just step on it and Rimmer would be truly, clinically, dead.

Cat kicked Rimmer a few more times before losing interest and joining the fight between Lister and Kryten. Well, he didn't join it exactly, he placed a bet. Against Kryten. While Rimmer bet against Lister.

Kryten pulled Lister's hair while Lister tried to maneuver to a position where he could remove Kryten's head.

"You insolent little–" Kryten's speech was cut off as Lister succeeded in removing Kryten's head. He then preceded to kick it repeatedly into the wall.

Cat and Rimmer had finally had enough. Rimmer ran to Kryten, dragging his body towards Lister, while Cat pushed Lister into the wall, restraining him.

"You can't kill him buddy," said Cat.

"I can, I can . . ." Lister panted.

Rimmer meanwhile was trying to reattach Kryten's head. He finally succeeded.

"I didn't need your help you smmmeeeeee. You smeeeeeee. You smeeeeee heeeeee! Oh forget it." Kryten gave Rimmer the middle finger instead.

"And you," he said to Lister, "are a complete and total git. Never again will I wash your underwear. Never again will I make you dinner. Oh no. Never again will I do anything for you," he said, pointing a Lister.

Cat let Lister go. "Oh yeah?" Lister asked, "Never again will I help defend you from Rimmer, never again will I go dancing with you."

"Oh, so now we're stating our 'never again's," asked Cat happily. He looked at Kryten. "Never again will I let you drive Starbug," he said.

Rimmer stared at them all. Then it dawned on him. "Hey guys?" Nobody paid him any attention. "Hello?" Noone answered. "Hey, ass-holes!" That got their attention. "We're on a television show right?" he asked. They nodded. "They are watching us for entertainment. They like to see us fight."

Everybody looked up into corners of the room. Sure enough, there were four black cameras staring down at them. Lister called a group huddle. "We'll give them what they want," he whispered. "Fake it."

For once, everybody agreed. Each person already had enough bruises to prove that they had been fighting, but that didn't mean they had to get anymore. Lister threw a fake punch at Rimmer who ducked and kicked Cat, who howled in pain and toppled over onto Kryten.

They heard a click and started shouting curses and throwing more punches and kicks some of which hit people accidentally. The door swung open and the Dwarfers stopped dead. Leona Alwaysright entered the room. "You will stay here until you solve all your problems," she said then turned and left the room.

They started to throw more fake punches but moved closer together at a gesture from Lister. "Solving our problems means death," said Lister. "They want us to kill each other."

Rimmer whispered back. "Fake this too." He pretended to knock Lister to the ground and pretended to stomp on his heart and face and place-where-it-hurts. "Are you dead yet?" he whispered out of the corner of his mouth.

"Yes," Lister whispered back, and closed his eyes, feigning death.

Rimmer then went on to 'kill' both Cat and Kryten. Then, doing the first really great acting he had ever done in his life, he pretended remorse, and took his light bee out of himself, thereby 'killing' himself. Seriously, the people from planet Letslivehappylives wouldn't know the difference.

Leona and the three assistants entered the room soon after to drag out the 'dead' bodies. The bodies weren't quite dead. The three got up and Lister grabbed Rimmer's light bee. They ran out the door.

"Buh bye suckers," shouted Lister over his shoulder.

The producers of Describing Life were never quite the same after that.

Okay, I finished my story. Please, please review for the last time. I'll be eternally grateful! XoXoX