Sorry this took forever. R/R! And then I'll hurry next time, I promise.

It took them two hours of searching to find their first pizza-monster. It was alone and they surprised it, but the results were still disappointing: Before they could do any real damage to the monster, it slashed Leonardo across the face, took a bite out of Shredder's cape, and thundered away.

And things only got worse from there.

All three of the monsters began to chase them and they had no choice but to run – Shredder said he refused to fight without a good choice of location. "If they corner us we're dead," he explained as they zigzagged through the sewers in a vain effort to lose the aliens. "We've got to make it so we can surround them, but they can't surround us."

Michelangelo looked upwards. "Right on! And God, while you're at it," he called, "We'd also like invincibility, more weapons, and five large pepperoni pizzas."

"Not funny, Mikey," Raphael said grimly.

They stopped at a fork in the pipes. "Let's split up," Leonardo suggested. "They can't all follow all of us. Maybe they'll get confused and go away."

As plans went, it was a pretty bad one, but they were desperate. Leonardo and Michelangelo took one side. Raphael, Donatello, and Shredder took the other. Oddly enough, when the monsters reached the fork, they all headed after Leo and Mike without hesitating for a second.

The turtles (and Shredder) continued to run. They were really at a loss until Donatello found the waterlogged controller that had once been used to tell the aliens what to do. "Guys, let's abort this hunt and go home," he suggested. "It would be a lot easier just to see if I could fix this, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I'm all for that," Raphael agreed. "Let's find the others."

They found the others pretty easily, but Shredder fought the idea of returning to the lair. "There has to be something we can do," he insisted. "They aren't invincible. Raphael already killed one, remember?"

"Lucky shot, Shred-head. Don't bet on me repeating it."

"If you give me time, I know I can fix this controller," Donatello argued. "Let me try. It would be really interesting."

Leonardo spoke up thoughtfully. "I'm more interested in howthe monsters keep following me," he said slowly. "I don't mean us, I mean me. When we split up they followed me and Mikey. And when me and Mikey split up, they followed me. All of them. Why?"

It was Shredder who made the leap first. "Blood. You've been cut. It smells you."

Michelangelo pointed to the trail of little droplets that Leonardo was leaving behind. "Yeah, dude, you're leaking."

Shredder's eyes narrowed. "This gives me an idea." He tried not to sound dire. "Who's up for a little experiment? I need one volunteer. Not him," he added, pointing to Leonardo. "He's lost enough blood already."

"Uh…" Michelangelo said doubtfully. The others just stared.

"Raphael, come here," Shredder barked when it looked like nobody was going to volunteer. "It will only hurt for a minute."

"Why do I get the feeling I'm going to regret this?" Raphael murmured, but he held still when Shredder took him by the shoulder.

Leonardo sputtered, "What do you think you're-"

"Shh." Donatello pulled him back. "I think I know what Shredder is up to. Let him try it."

"I need a container," Shredder said.

Michelangelo suggested, "Uh, lemme go check my Tupperware collection."

"Michelangelo! Be serious, will you?" Donatello looked around and shook his head. "Nothing doing, Shred-head. You'll have to use your helmet. And hurry up."

Shredder removed his helmet immediately, trying to forget all the good reasons for which he had refused to go monster-hunting without it. "Ready?" he asked Raphael.

"Yeah, go for it."

Shredder went for it. He made a single clean cut on Raphael's arm and held his helmet underneath to catch the little trickle of blood that snaked down to Raph's elbow. It soon slowed, though, and Shredder muttered, "You mutants heal too quickly."

Shredder saw Raphael nod, and took it as permission to draw his blade carefully over the same cut. Raphael smiled, knowing he was toughing it out beautifully. He didn't mind when the flow tapered off again, but this time Shredder didn't make any more cuts. Instead, he took Raphael's hand and laid it on the unbladed side of his own forearm.

"Squeeze."

Raphael did as he was told. As he tensed his muscles, blood oozed out a little faster. "You do know how much is safe?"

"You're fine, Raph," Donatello cut in. "It looks worse than it is. Shredder?"

"Almost done." When it seemed like he had enough, Shredder tore a piece off his ragged cape and gestured for Donatello to come tie a bandage with it. He tore off another piece to wipe his hands on, and ordered Leonardo to clean himself up as well.

Finally he was satisfied that the only enticing smell coming from their party was the bloody helmet. "We're ready. Now, who wants to be the one to run up and douse one of them?"

"Me, dude! I totally got this!" Michelangelo jumped up, grabbed the helmet, and ran off screaming "Cowabunga!"

The others followed. They rounded a corner to find him surrounded by three pizza-monsters. "Hey, ugly!" Donatello yelled. The nearest monster – and Michelangelo – turned to look. "Not you, Mikey," he groaned. "I'm talking to…you!" he threw his bo and it bounced off the alien's head.

The alien roared and came after him. "Now, Mikey!" Leonardo shouted. Michelangelo threw blood all over the creature's back, then somersaulted out of the way so the other aliens wouldn't stampede him to death as they took off after their bloody compadre.

"I'll be right back – lemme lose them!" Donatello shouted over his shoulder as he ran.

A few moments later he returned, strolling along calmly and dusting off his hands. "There," he said with satisfaction.

The turtles heard screeching and thumping and tearing from far down one of the tunnels. "Well, that should take care of one, at least," Leonardo said. "Let's wait til it sounds like they're done, and then go see about the others. If we strike right away while they're still weakened from fighting…"

"Hey," Raphael interrupted. "Where's Shredder?"

Donatello suddenly had a bad feeling. He patted his belt and gasped. "He's taken the controller! Oh, no!"

A cold laugh drew their attention up to the manhole far above them. "Up here, turtles!"

"Just where do you think you're going?" Raphael shouted. Shredder was struggling with the manhole cover at the top of the ladder. He finally got it open, scrambled up to the street above, and leaned over the edge to laugh down at them.

"Goodbye, mutants! I hope you enjoy your new neighbors. Especially once Baxter and I fix this controller, breed more aliens, and send them after you for real!"

He shook his fist at them and vanished with a swirl of cape.

"He's getting away!" Leonardo cried.

"Oh, no, he's not." Raphael leaped on the ladder and started climbing.

Donatello followed. "He isn't in the best physical condition right now. This shouldn't be hard. If only we knew where he was going…" He followed Raphael out of the sewer and onto the street.

Leonardo emerged next. "That way is a crowded intersection," he suggested. "I'd bet Shredder went that way, to terrorize some people on the way out."

"No way, dude, check out the, like, dark alley – that is so Shredder! He went that way," Michelangelo declared, pointing in a different direction. "And I can't believe he put his hat back on, that's so gross."

"Um, let me see which way is the quickest out of our line of vision." Donatello scanned the area briefly. "There – he probably went straight over there because he could turn down the side street fastest and we wouldn't see which way he went."

Raphael pointed to a building directly in front of them. "Who wants to bet Shredder's hiding out right there waiting for us to go on a wild goose chase?"

"Door's locked, Raph," Donatello pointed out.

"He didn't use the door – I'll bet he climbed the fire escape." Raphael seemed certain. "It's showy. It's clever. And it's something we wouldn't do because it would trap us on top of the roof. If we follow him up there…"

"He's toast." Leonardo drew his weapons.

Raphael thought that it would probably be difficult to scale a building with an arm injury, but it was certainly possible and it was just the sort of theatrical escape Shredder would like. He stuck a sai between his teeth for easy access and started to climb.

Sure enough, they caught him there on the roof, crouched in the shadows behind a huge TV satellite. "All right, Shredder, the game is up," Raphael called. He felt his brothers form up around him and his confidence soared still higher. "Now hand over that controller, or foot soldiers will spend the next two months trying to put you back together like humpty dumpty."

"That's clever compared to what you usually say to me," Shredder allowed. "But still not good enough!"

"We might say the same about your escape, tin-grin," Donatello shot back. "Now, hand over the remote or you're going to get hurt."

Shredder stepped out into the light. "I quake with fear," he grated, and they didn't need to see his face this time to know that he was smiling. He laid the remote on the ground carefully and stood up again. As he slowly stretched both arms out as wide as they would go, the wind picked up his cape and made it billow out behind him.

Michelangelo swallowed.

"Remember, guys," Leonardo said quietly, "That's all show – he can't do anything at all with his left. Just stay cool and-"

"Can it, Leo." Raphael was watching Shredder with narrowed eyes. "We don't need a pep talk. There's four of us, and half of him. If we can't take him now…"

"You can't," called Shredder. "But I suppose you're going to try anyway…"

TBC! Talk to me!