Space Station tea wasn't very good, Jess thought. It was all chemicals and no tea leaves. Jess disgustedly tipped the substance masquerading as tea into the café disposal unit, and turned around to face three pets. Three.
"Mum," the Baby Kougra, Tigger, exclaimed worriedly. "aussiejewel disappeared."
"See? She does have a magnetic attraction for trouble," said Jess calmly. "Where'd she go?"
"If we knew that," replied Blanche, "she wouldn't be missing."
"Good point." Jess sighed. "I knew this would happen. It always does. No excursion ever runs smoothly for us."
"I agree," a grouchy Saint growled. "Now we have to waste time looking for her."
Jess nodded. "So where were you when she disappeared?"
"The airlock," replied Blanche quickly. "Outside it, I mean. But aussiejewel wouldn't have gotten into the airlock."
"True," Jess sighed. This day was all wrong. "Could she have been captured?"
"By who?" Saint demanded in his usual rough tone. "If you're suggesting that Doctor Sloth had anything to do with it, I assure you that you're sorely mistaken."
Jess stared at the Mutant Techo. "Come now, Saint," she told him, "we can't live in ignorance forever. There is an awful lot of evidence against him."
"That's not what you said yesterday. Are you saying that you were wrong?"
"Not wrong!" Jess insisted. "Just... uh, misguided." She nodded triumphantly.
"He has nothing to do with it," Saint insisted. "He's as innocent as..."
"Lord Kass?" Jess suggested helpfully. Saint glared at her.
"No," Saint insisted. "I suppose next you'll be saying that Jhudora is involved, too."
Jess shook her head slowly. "She's not even here," she said.
"Neither's Sloth, yet," Saint replied grumpily. He always seemed grumpy.
Jess ignored her oldest – but second – pet. "Well," she said, "let's head for the top floor."
"But we're not allowed there," Tigger protested.
"Exactly," Jess replied brightly. "Come on."
Tigger and Blanche exchanged a look. Yes, Jess was definitely insane.
It was dark. Darkness was never a good thing. It was very rare to find a good guy who enjoyed dark, gloomy lairs, underground or on spaceships or otherwise. The centrepiece of the room was a large tasteless green dentists' chair.
It wasn't, of course. Not even dentists with the largest drills in the Universe could inflict the amount of pain the chair – or rather, the device near the chair – was capable of.
Only a metre away from the slab stood a metal control panel. The metal panel had several dozen buttons, levers and switches, all designed by what could only be considered Neopia's greatest sadist. Who that sadist was, no one had any idea.
Strapped to the large dentists' chair was a Brown Uni, barely recognisable as aussiejewel. Why she was there, she had no idea. In fact, she didn't have much of a clue who she was anymore, almost as though her memories were being extracted by the sheer pain the heavily cloaked... pet behind the panel was enjoying inflicting. In actual fact, she wasn't so far off.
"Please stop," she croaked in a brief respite. "Who are you?"
Unseen by the Uni, the cloaked pet smiled and flicked a switch. He waited until the pet screamed, and then screamed louder, before flicking it off.
"Please," aussiejewel sobbed. "I didn't mean any... I don't even remember..."
The cloaked, sadistic pet remembered. The machine had extracted her memories, her personality... everything required for the purpose.
And oh yes, there was a purpose. A brilliant purpose, devised by none other than the great Doctor Frank Sloth himself. The evil genius who had discovered the centuries-old machine deep beneath the surface of Mystery Island. He had a plan. He always had a plan. But this plan... this plan would not fail. It couldn't. Not after the years of work, not after the time travelling, not after the months of kidnappings...
The cloaked figure flicked a switch and pulled a lever to reprimand aussiejewel for her sobbing. He checked a reading on the console. Her mind was nearly absorbed. Then physical duplication could begin.
aussiejewel had no idea of this. She assumed – as any sane person not yet been driven insane by excruciating pain would – that she was going to die. She would eventually, no doubt, but she would be kept alive now. If the great and noble Doctor's plan went a little awry, she – and the other kidnappees selected randomly from various places across the planet – would assist in plan B.
aussiejewel's head slumped backwards. The pain was exhausting her. Very soon, she would lapse into unconsciousness, in which case the cloaked pet would have to wait to complete the other tiny bit of absorption. That was the problem with impossibly advanced but ancient technology – it relied on the victim's consciousness. The cloaked figure would have to hold off on the buttons and levers. The Doctor would not be happy with any delays. Not so close to Armageddon...
"So, all-knowing mum," Tigger declared, "what do you think Sloth's plan is?"
"How am I meant to know?" asked Jess frustratedly. "It's not like Sloth's dumb enough to put up a bulletin board with his evil plan on it."
However, just at that moment... no one saw a bulletin board with Sloth's evil plan on it. Bother.
"Where could aussiejewel be?" Jess mainly asked herself.
"Maybe that's the wrong question," Blanche interrupted. "Let's assume for a moment that Sloth didn't capture aussiejewel."
"Assumed," Jess nodded. "Cups of tea for everyone!"
"Wait," Blanche interrupted her owner. "If aussiejewel had free rein in the space station, where would she go?"
The others – who apart from Jess and Tigger included a sullen and untalking Saint – thought about this question.
"Splat-A-Sloth," Tigger decided suddenly.
"Brilliant!" Jess exclaimed excitedly. "aussiejewel detests Sloth!"
Tigger nodded. "That's why I suggested it."
Jess nodded as well. "Come on!" she instructed, and led everyone back to the lift.
In another underground chamber, there was a large glass box. Attached to another machine, this box was apparently empty, until a pair of eyes appeared.
The eyes were soon followed by a head – a silver, mechanical head. Following the head came a neck, a body and some legs – all silver and mechanical, all bolts and nuts and steel. Then, just as out of nowhere as the robot, came a synthetic skin appeared around the robot, followed soon by brown fur, lighter on the head, a dark mane and a pale tail.
In fact, it was the exact duplicate of the Uni that was being tortured.
The glass box flipped back and the robot, which had been completely still moments before, stepped away, taking in the scene. She didn't speak. Her robotic eyes expressed confusion at the scene around her.
She utterly confused robot Uni trotted to a nearby communications device, identical to the one in the duplication chamber. Just as she began to lift a hoof to poke the machine, Doctor Sloth's ugly green face appeared.
"Congratulations," he beamed. "You are aussiejewel Smith."
"Yes," the Uni agreed blandly.
"You are one of Doctor Sloth's fighting force."
"Yes," the Uni agreed.
"You are aware of your purpose."
"Yes," the Uni answered. Not very creative, was she? Sloth hoped it wasn't a fault with the vocal circuitry.
"Then," he intoned, "you will head to your house and let it be done."
The Uni nodded quickly. She was not just a Uni – albeit a robotic Uni. She was aussiejewel Smith.
Jess and her three pets found the Splat-A-Sloth game aussiejewel-less.
"Well then," Jess sighed, "she was captured."
"Who was?" enquired an innocent voice. The four family members turned around to see aussiejewel, as unruffled as she had been earlier.
"Where have you been?" Jess demanded angrily – after all, it was the Uni's fault she was wasting her lovely day!
"Around," aussiejewel shrugged. "I went to the Café, watched some Gormball, brushed up on my spelling..."
Jess turned her reproachful glare to her other pets. "You worrywarts," she chided. "Fancy thinking that Sloth was up to no good! Impossible!"
"Oh, now you realise," Saint muttered.
"Anyway," Jess continued, ignoring Saint, "I think we should all go back home. What do you say?"
"But we didn't learn anything about Diana!" Blanche fumed. "aussiejewel..."
"I'm quite tired," aussiejewel explained apologetically. "I'd rather like to return home, too."
Jess beamed. "Good girl. Come along, everyone... I have your return tickets."