DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters of 'Stargate: Atlantis'. They're not my property.
Flipping a page, he leaned back on his pillow and took a brief glimpse of the little girl. He was quite pleased at how quiet she was during those few hours that she was left in his care. She would hum a soft melody and do little impressions of birds with her arms. Syla seemed happy that way, and John wasn't complaining. It appeared that his presence was enough for her.
There was a knock on the door. "Come in!" he said. When Elizabeth came inside, she smiled at what she saw. "The room is still in one piece, I see."
John set the book down. "Actually, she was fairly quiet the entire time."
Elizabeth welcomed this. "So, she isn't difficult to take care of."
"If she's always like this…" He shrugged.
She chuckled. "I spoke with Jodian. He agreed to consult the others of whether they would take Syla."
This brought optimism to John's face. "Great. When will they reach a conclusion?"
"Five days," she said.
"Five?"
"Yes."
He groaned and fell back on the pillow. "What are we supposed to do until then?"
"Did you play with her?"
"No…" He tried to keep the little girl in his view from where he lay. "She was just sitting there, singing to herself and making weird bird movements with her hands. She looked happy like that."
"That's it?" Elizabeth seemed surprised.
"That's it." He lifted his hands.
"So she's not hungry?"
As if on cue, Syla started moving her little arms towards Elizabeth and making funny noises. She bent down to have a closer look of the child. "Hey, are you hungry?"
Syla clapped her hands as a response.
Elizabeth took her in her arms. "Let's get you some food," she told Syla. "I'll take her for now," she said to the colonel.
"Thank you!" John responded loudly to Elizabeth who walked out of his room, not paying much attention to whatever he might have said.
When Elizabeth heard of the news the next day, she was sure he was joking. "On the Jumper? Are you serious?"
"Well, she loves birds, likes to 'fly', so I figured she can have at least one wish fulfilled there."
"And the fact that she's a baby doesn't-"
"Didn't you tell me I should play with her?"
"Well, yes, like on the balcony earlier – that was fine but this..."
"Trust me, Elizabeth. She is safe with me."
Crossing her arms, Elizabeth sat back in her chair, taking no longer than ten seconds to think his proposal over. "Alright, Colonel. Please bring her back in one piece."
"Yes, ma'am," she heard him say.
Bringing her fingers beneath her chin, thinking of John's idea, Elizabeth wondered whether she made the right choice. "Leave it to John Sheppard to take a baby on a Jumper ride," she told herself and chuckled quietly. She trusted the colonel.
"Ready for another try?" He looked at the little girl. When she giggled, he took that as a ready sign. Going with an incredible high speed, it seemed they would crash into the water but, the moment they were close enough, John lifted the vessel, letting it spin a few times before heading up again.
"Wuuu! Weeee!" Syla clapped in reaction to this with excitement.
"Now watch this," John said with the same enthusiasm as a father showing his child the new car and what it could do. The Jumper circled the city a few times before zooming in between the various buildings. When it passed every available space, it rushed to the middle of the city and then zoomed up with such speed that they were just outside the planet's atmosphere in less than a few seconds. In the dark space, the Jumper settled for a while.
"Weee!" Syla giggled again and moved her hands in the same way of the Jumper's flight.
"Great, huh?"
Syla clapped to this, which caused a smile on John's face. "I thought this might scare you before, but you're pretty brave."
Syla again imitated the Jumper with her hands, giggling.
"I know, flying is a great feeling," he said.
"Colonel, having fun out there?" Elizabeth's voice was heard through the radio.
"You bet. I should've invited you, you missed on a lot. Turns out Syla really likes flying."
"Well, fortunately for you," Elizabeth replied. "Maybe she'll be a pilot when she grows up," she teased.
"If she does, I'll be proud," he responded with a smirk and winked at Syla.
"Okay, now could you please return her to solid ground?"
"Aw, that soon?" he wined jokingly.
"It's her first time flying; let's not tire her too much, okay?"
"Fine," he pouted. "Let's get you back now, kiddo. Or old mother bear will be pissed," he whispered the last sentence.
"I heard that!"
Expecting that response, John chuckled and turned the Jumper around.
When night came, Elizabeth was again in her room, going over reports. From time to time, she would look over at the bed where Syla was. John had been right – she was a fairly quiet child. Some blank pages were left on the pillow, and Syla immediately grabbed them. She put them in front of her and having nothing else to do, started staring at them.
Elizabeth noticed this. "Do want to draw?" she asked the little girl. Syla looked up at her without any answer. Elizabeth smiled and then took out some soft pencils. "Here you go." She gave the pencils to Syla. Holding them in her little hands, Syla looked at the strange objects for a while. Maybe they were new to her. She then put one of them next to her and touched the other one with its tip to the blank page. Soon enough, lines started appearing on the surface.
Elizabeth was satisfied that the child had found something to do and that she was returned in "one piece" as promised. During the first two days, she and John had managed to find enough time for Syla, although in her opinion it should have been more. Only hours earlier the three of them stood on the balcony, watching the ocean. Syla had snuggled into John's arms, watching the ocean with them. She gave a small yawn and then started singing quietly again. They noticed that she would only do this when it had been just the two of them. When a stranger would join them, she would be quiet, occasionally giggling at John. Elizabeth also noticed how the colonel was beginning to warm up to Syla, even if he did not want to admit it. He'd lift her high in the air as she would spread her arms, pretending to be a bird or spin around while holding her to which Syla would laugh hysterically. He enjoyed playing with her. Elizabeth couldn't remember how often he smiled like that.
"Hey, uh, can we just not mention this to anyone?" he had asked her as they were watching the ocean.
Elizabeth looked strangely at him. "Why?"
"Just, let's not. Okay?"
"Okay, if that's what you want," she agreed.
Watching the little girl draw, Elizabeth still wondered why John had asked her to keep quiet of his parenting skills. Did he not want the others to know this gentler side of him? Whatever the reason at least he trusted Elizabeth enough to show it in front of her.
Elizabeth massaged her temples, the work load giving her body and mind a few more extra lumps of tiredness. In the background, her ears picked up on Syla's soft singing. Although she usually preferred silence in these late hours, the child's melody made it easier for her to concentrate. It softened her senses, and her muscles – even if only slightly – loosened from the tension. Elizabeth looked at the little girl who was busy with her drawings and smiled.
When the last strings of her concentration were cut an hour later, Elizabeth gave in. She approached her bed to have it ready, when the drawing on it caught her attention. Slowly, she sat down next to Syla. It was a portrait of Kia – a perfect likeness. Taken aback by the master touch of the lines and the soft but bold expression of the eyes, Elizabeth then felt a touch of sadness. Syla had the perfect memory of her mother. She looked at the child's tired eyes. "You must miss her…" Elizabeth whispered with a grain of regret. Syla only looked back at her drawing and that was a good enough answer for Elizabeth.
When the need for sleep had become greater, Elizabeth placed her head on the pillow with Syla sleeping next to her. With the moon draping its soft light over them, Elizabeth caressed Syla's head. "Good night, Syla," she whispered and kissed her head. She was indeed a quiet child.
By the third day John was sitting in the mess hall. As he ate his sandwich, Syla was quietly munching on some carrots and peas. She already had a healthy pair of teeth for her age, years earlier than a human child. John was grateful he didn't have to spoon-feed her at least, and even more so that the usual throwing up hadn't happened with her, not even once.
Now, he hoped this moment of solitarily would resume a while longer. Having Syla with him had attracted the majority of the female staff more often than once and although he would usually welcome that, this gave them the undesired image of John as a good father prospect. He cringed at the idea.
A few drops of ketchup had fallen on his shirt, and when he started removing them, he sensed that someone had approached his table. Crap. If I hear that you-make-such-a-cute-daddy comment one more time… he thought to himself and then looked up. To his relief it was Teyla that smiled at him.
"Am I intruding?" she asked.
"Oh, no. Please," he gestured towards the chair. "Better you than Bethany Curtis. Swear to God, that woman is like a leech."
"A leech? You mean she is…"
John chuckled. "No, I mean she just gets stuck on you and it's difficult to get rid of her… especially now," he mumbled at the end.
Teyla nodded, understanding his meaning. Seeing Syla eating on top of the table, the Athosian smiled at the little girl. "She is well-behaved for her age," she noted.
"I told myself the same thing."
"She is not trouble for you?"
John wondered for a moment. "You know, not as much as I feared."
"Why then do you not wish to care for her longer?"
"With my position? Out of the question."
"She seems very fond of you… and Dr. Weir."
"And for the life of me I can't understand why." He shrugged and took a bite of the sandwich.
"I would consider that a gift, Colonel. I do not believe there has been something like this with Atonian children. They are very selective amongst their own kind, while with other species it is unheard of."
He considered Teyla's words. "We thought it might have something to do with the Ancient gene but that didn't hold up."
"Perhaps she simply… likes you," Teyla suggested.
"Yes, well, as great as that is, I hope the Atonians reach a verdict sooner." John took another bite of his sandwich.
Teyla was slightly confused. "You do not enjoy caring for her?"
"It's not that, Teyla. It's more the fact that I have other responsibilities here. And plus…" he sighed. "I don't think it's fair to her."
"You wish you could offer her more of your time?"
He was quiet for a few seconds. "Something like that," he then said. "What's the point in having kids when you don't have time for them, you know?"
"Yes, I understand your meaning. But sometimes it is not to our choosing how much time we could have."
"You always need to have time for your kids," he told her seriously.
This made her look at him more carefully. "What does… Dr. Weir think of all this?"
"Uh, we're on the same page on that one."
"I meant about Syla."
"Oh! Yes, I-I know you did," he quickly corrected himself but not before Teyla responded with a brief and inquisitive smile. "She would like to see this resolved quickly, too. She understands what the situation is."
"You both have been given a great responsibility with this child. Kia must have had some trust in you to have asked for your care of her daughter."
"I'm aware of that," he replied and took a sip of his coffee. A small piece of a carrot had fallen from Syla's hands. John took it and gave it back to her with a soft smile. Syla let out a happy sound and took the carrot.
Continuing to observe him carefully, Teyla asked, "Would you have taken her as your daughter if you did not have the responsibilities you have now?"
John was quiet for a while. "Maybe…" he responded quietly enough only for his friend to hear him.
Waiting in the corner, the tall woman with black eyes waited patiently, almost hiding from the others. When she noticed Elizabeth passing by, she called for her. "Elizabeth Weir?"
Elizabeth turned around to find the Atonian woman walking up to her with apparent shyness. "Yes?"
Gathering her long hair and then throwing it behind her shoulders, the woman revealed her face; its similarity to Kia was striking. "I am Vera. Kia was my sister."
Elizabeth stood there for a moment, wondering how she never noticed this woman before. She was about to speak when Vera interrupted her.
"Jodian told us of your request."
"Oh."
"Her acceptance of you and John Sheppard surprised us all," she said.
"So I've heard," Elizabeth smiled.
"She might not wish to separate herself from you. She is still young. I do not know why Jodian agreed to your proposal, as I am certain he also knows the risks of what this separation could do to her. Her response to you and John Sheppard while Kia was alive spoke greatly." Vera gathered a few strands of hair close to her chest as if covering herself. "She witnessed her father's murder by the Wraith and her mother's defeat by the illness and lived. Other children who had witness their parents' death died because no one cared for them after that. You must understand the concern this has caused among us."
"Concern? I thought after an Atonian child is orphaned it is no longer a concern of yours."
"Your request to Jodian changed opinions," Vera confessed.
"Really." Elizabeth sounded less sympathetic.
"With only twenty of our people remaining… I believe it has forced us to change rules. In the past we were many, too many. It is one of the reasons why no one took children whose parents had died. We always kept our population in a way for it to be equal with the amount of food we had. Sometimes that required sacrifices," Vera explained. "I do not know if Syla has any memory of their deaths. I pray to the gods that she does not. But here she smiles, she laughs… she is happy. Here with you and John Sheppard."
Elizabeth sighed. "Vera…"
"I do not think the others could care much of how her soul would grow, but I do. My sister was very dear to me. I did not approach Syla because of our rules… Now, after the slaughter… many of those rules could change, which is why I am speaking to you."
"So, you would take her in?"
"Even if we could accept her... I fear she could carry those memories as a heavy burden in her heart. She will always be reminded of the horrors with us. We are only a few now; the scars of the past will always haunt us. Syla will be raised with that. I fear she will not be the joyful person her mother had wished her to be. Here, she has a chance to be that person."
"Vera, Atlantis is not a proper place for Syla. At least not with the Wraith out there."
"I do not question where she will be raised, Elizabeth Weir. I wish for her to not only survive but to be a blissful child. With the right guidance and love… she could be," Vera said optimistically.
Elizabeth understood Vera's request, but it did nothing to ease her thoughts. "I can not devote enough of my time to her. But you and your people can. We have to deal daily with enemies here and that will take me and Colonel Sheppard away from her more often than she deserves."
Vera shook her head. "She can not be separated, Elizabeth Weir. She must have felt deep security with you and John Sheppard. I do not wish to take that security away from her."
"Vera!" a young Atonian called her. "It is time for the morning prayer."
Vera nodded and then looked back at Elizabeth. "I must go," she said and hurried after the young man.
More dilemmas were not what Elizabeth needed right now.