II. Friendly Advice
Harry didn't protest when Arabella stood up and announced that they should be getting to bed. Even though it wasn't very late, his emotional exhaustion from the day's events made him feel like he had been awake for days.
He crawled into bed where, to his surprise, a smile crossed his face. He was haunted by the memories of his parents being murdered; he was annoyed that, yet again, he had been kept in the dark about so many important things in his life.
However, he was immensely proud of his parents, and overjoyed that he now had a link to the magical community that was so easily accessible from his excuse for an existence at the Dursley's.
The grin remained intact as he slept. His happiness rewarded him with such a sound and dreamless sleep that the intense burning that radiated from the lightening shaped scar on his forehead came and went without notice...
~
As the sunlight streamed in the bedroom window and across Harry's face, he briefly wondered why he hadn't already been awakened by Petunia screaming at him to make breakfast. Then the events of the previous day came flooding back to him.
I think I'll stay in bed all morning, he thought to himself as he rolled over and sighed contentedly. But his stomach was inclined to disagree. He slipped his glasses on and meandered to the kitchen in his pyjamas.
"Morning," he greeted Arabella sleepily as she placed a plate of freshly toasted crumpets on the table.
"Morning, Harry, you're just in time to eat. Help yourself," she replied, indicating the spread on the table. There were all sorts of marmalades, Nutella, and honey (to spread on the crumpets), as well as a pile of bacon and a pitcher of pumpkin juice.
When there were only a few crumbs left on the table, Arabella told Harry that he needed to go wash up and get dressed.
"What's the rush?"
"Professor Dumbledore owled me very early; he wrote that he would be coming over later this morning to speak with us," she answered non-chalantly, in an attempt to hide how worried she truly was.
"Oh." Harry's mind was reeling with possibilities once again. Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwart's, was a very busy man, and Harry knew that he was more preoccupied than ever since the return of Voldemort. So what was so important that he was taking time to speak with Harry in person?
Harry emerged from his room wearing navy slacks and a short sleeved shirt. He found Arabella preparing tea & biscuits on a tray and helped her take them into the living room.
They sat making idle chatter for a few moments before a loud pop directed their attention to the entryway.
"Albus! It's been so long!" Arabella exclaimed as she rose to meet him.
"Yes, Madame Figg, it has," he returned, kissing the back of her hand. "Though time has treated you well. Since the last time we met you seem to have discovered how to reverse the aging process." He knew full well that she hadn't reversed anything; that she'd only taken a break from the fast-forwarding she'd been up to for years.
"Good morning, Professor," Harry interceded, standing to join the others.
"Ah! Harry, settling in alright, I hope?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good, good. Shall we sit?" he asked as he lowered himself into an overstuffed wingback chair.
Professor Dumbledore sat very still, collecting his thoughts, before divulging to Harry and Arabella what was in store for them all in the coming year...
"You may recall, Harry, that I said that those of us "in the know" would have to stick together if we are to have any chance of stopping Voldemort. I instructed Sirius to speak with Arabella, Remus Lupin, and Mundungus Fletcher. He did so, and I then instructed Arabella to reveal her true self to you. I hoped to preserve more of your childhood, Harry, but in these dark times we must utilize every asset that we have.
"Which is why your studies this year will be...enhanced. You will learn the details of your extra coursework after you have arrived at Hogwart's. What I can tell you now is that Miss Figg will be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, since she no longer needs to keep her identity a secret from you. We will have some other new faculty members, as well...but none that you need to be concerned about just yet.
"Despite the measures that have been taken for your safety at the Dursley's, I think it would be most wise to have you in the midst of other wizards and witches. So, when your family returns from holiday, I will send someone to escort you to the Weasley's house for the remainder of the summer. I know you must have a plethora of questions for me, harry, but I really must be going right now. Madame - or should I say Professor - Figg will do her best to answer them for you. I will be in touch." Albus Dumbledore stood and drew a thick parchment envelope from within his robes. He handed it to Arabella and left as abruptly as he had come.
~
Over the next two weeks, Arabella told Harry stories about when she went to school at Hogwart's with Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, et al. Harry hoped that Sirius would come to visit him at Figg's house, but reckoned that it was either too dangerous or that he was doing things for Dumbledore still. The day before the Dursley's were to return, Arabella took Harry's school things back (he had finished all of his homework, with her help) and made sure she had some aging potion left.
The following afternoon, she aged herself and walked Harry down the street. They rehearsed what they would say so that Petunia thought he had had a dreadful time, and after they both delivered their lines, Arabella gave Harry a wink when Petunia's back was turned and hobbled back to her house.
No sooner had Harry dropped his duffel of clothes on the bed than Hedwig flew through the window, landed on Harry's shoulder, and nipped him lovingly on the ear. The boy untied the letter attached to her leg and as he read it ran downstairs to tell the Dursley's that he would be leaving for the Weasley's house that night.
~
Meanwhile...
~
Miles away from where Harry was just learning the truth about Arabella Figg, the Weasley clan was trying to make the most out of their summer. Charlie and Bill were still in Romania and Egypt, respectively, while Mr. Weasley and Percy were working long hours at the ministry.
Fred and George spent their time coming up with new tricks for their joke shop and practicing Quidditch with Ron. When the youngest Weasley brother wasn't practicing, he moped around the house, muttering about what a worthless git that Krum was, ever since he received an owl from Hermione telling him she would be in Bulgaria for a while.
Mrs. Weasley had been spending her time trying to figure out what was wrong with Ginny...
~
It was another warm summer's evening, and the Weasley's were sitting around the dinner table sharing snippets from their days. Ginny was listening only enough to make sure she laughed, nodded, or looked surprised at the right times.
Her mind was too troubled about the coming night to bother listening to the same type of anecdotes she had heard yesterday, and every other night since they had returned from Hogwart's. Percy would have some "important business" to allude to with her father, who was excited about figuring out some muggle device or another ("It's amazing, the things they come up with," he would invariably exclaim). George and Fred will have come up with another million-galleon idea, and Ron will recite his latest top-ten list of reasons why you should NEVER visit Bulgaria.
~
If it had been the previous summer, Ginny would have been happily focused on her family, but recent events had affected her to the point of consuming her every waking thought.
She supposed it had really begun three years go when she had become a pawn in Tom Riddle's dark agenda, but it had only become bothersome since the third task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament.
When everyone had realized that Harry and Cedric had disappeared, she fled to her dormitory to cry, praying that the boy-who-lived had not left this world before she had been able to tell him how much she cared about him. She wept so deeply that she exhausted herself and cried herself to sleep.
That was when the dreams had begun.
~
"Ginny!" A loud voice slashed into the teenage girl's recollections.
"Pardon, Mum, what did you say?" Ginny replied, slipping back to the present.
"I asked you how your day was, dear."
"Oh, alright, I guess. I worked on some essays for Professor Binns, watched the boys practicing Quidditch, and then took a nap." It was a somewhat truthful account. She had blankly stared at her History of Magic book, wandered out to the field to sit under a tree as Ron and the twins flew overhead, and then gone to lay on her bed in avoidance of her mother's troubled glances at her. But the entire time she had been lost in introspective thought, trying to figure out why she was having those dreams and - on a different but related matter - what her true feelings for Harry were.
"That's nice, dear," Mrs. Weasley responded, knowing that there was more to the story, but letting her only daughter wait until she was ready to discuss it. Molly may be the mother of six, five of them boys, but she hadn't forgotten what it was like to be fourteen.
~
After everyone's tummies were satisfied and the dishes had been cleaned and put away, Ginny retreated to her bedroom. She had decided to write down her feelings in an effort to understand them better.
Even thought the last time she journalled her thoughts it had nearly led to her death - and would have if it hadn't been for Harry (she sighed longingly at the memory of being fought for and rescued by her hero) - she knew that she needed to sort some things out.
Being that she was without a Pensieve, putting things down on paper was the best option available to her. So she found the untouched journal she had disregarded the previous Christmas and began to describe what had been happening to her the last few weeks.
~
Ginny's Journal Entry:
~
To start off with, I would like to say that I have never been this exhausted in my life. The dreams have been waking me up every night, and I can never get back to sleep. Even if I can get past the thoughts of the dreams themselves, I lie awake thinking about HP...I wonder what he's doing...if he ever thinks about me...
*deep sigh*
Anyway, I'm writing in this journal to try and figure out what the deal is with the dreams that I've been having. The first dream was so vivid and clear compared to the ones I've had recently.
I had fallen asleep crying over Harry's disappearance. As soon as I was unconscious the nightmare began.
I felt as if I was seeing and hearing things through someone else's eyes and ears; wherever I was it was dark, hot, and wet. I could hear someone saying what sounded like an incantation...a strange sensation came over me. Then all of a sudden I could see others nearby. Someone far away on the ground...other were appearing all around me. The person whose eyes I saw through moved to the figure on the ground - I screamed, but no one heard me. It was Harry.
Words were said, Harry was trying to get away, then he stood before me, looking braver than I could ever have imagined. I watched a hand raise a wand in front of me. The shout I heard next was unmistakably "Avada Kedavra!"
I screamed again as I sat up in bed. At that moment I had been sure that Harry was dead. When I heard that Harry had returned, battered but alive, I couldn't believe my ears, but I was relieved that what I had seen must have just been a dream. Oh, if only it had been! Later, when Professor Dumbledore told us what had happened to Harry that night, I knew I would never sleep peacefully again. I knew that I had seen through the Dark Lord's eyes...and that it was bound to happen again.
~
Tears splashed onto Ginny's journal. She closed her eyes and silently wept before regaining her composure and setting her quill back to work:
Since then the dreams have come every night. The visions are blurrier, the voices indistinguishable, but the atmosphere is always frightening. Wizards in dark, hooded robes, whispered instructions, and repeated use of all three of the unforgivable curses.
I know what I'm seeing is real, but who'd believe me? And what good would it do anybody? I don't see the future, I see the present. And I can't see anyone's face or understand what's being said.
Then there's the question of why. It has to have something to do with what happened my first year at Hogwart's. Tom Marvolo Riddle took over my mind and left a bit of himself etched into my being. Is it too far-fetched to think that I am now somehow connected to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? Does HE know that I watch him every night? Does he feel my presence? Worst of all - if he does know, what are his plans for me?
I'm so scared. Scared of what I'll see tonight when my body gives in to the exhaustion. Scared that this wretched ability of mine could allow me to help fight against the Dark Lord, but that I'm too young and too weak to make a difference. Just like I was too naïve and inexperienced to resist Tom Riddle.
I want to tell Harry...mid-sentence, Ginny's quill fell from her fingers as she collapsed into a fitful sleep.
~
Miles away Harry drifted off to sleep as well, but he had a smile fixed upon his face.
~
Ginny sat up suddenly. Her heart was racing, her head pounding. It took her a few moments to realize that she was safe in her room. Picking up her journal, she realized she had fallen asleep and been having another dream. This one had been almost as real as the first, and nearly as disturbing...
Outside her window, the moon was sailing high; everyone else was surely fast asleep. She decided to go downstairs for a while, writing one last word in her journal before tucking it under her pillow: everything.
~
The next week and a half was uneventful. Ginny's dreams continued, but had resumed their foggy nature. Last night had been no different. Ginny had again awoken in the middle of the night and laid in bed, staring out at the stars until the sun's light made them fade away into the morning sky.
Ginny changed out of her nightgown and made her way to the kitchen for some breakfast. She was the first one up (again), so she was the first to see the post owl that was waiting on the ledge. As she untied the parchment from around brown bird's leg, she realized it was from Hogwart's.
"What's that, Ginny?"
The youngest Weasley jumped; she hadn't heard her mum enter the room.
"It's a letter from Hogwart's."
"Well, let's see it then." Ginny handed the letter over and waited anxiously to learn what it said.
"Oh!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed happily. "Harry's coming to stay with us earlier than usual this summer. Dumbledore says that someone will be escorting him here in a few days. That's interesting...I wonder who it'll be?"
Ginny mumbled in agreement as her cheeks grew rosy. She hurriedly excused herself and ran back to her bedroom. Once there, she headed straight for her journal and began scratching out her emotions with her quill...
~
Ginny's journal:
~
Holy Cricket!
Harry will be HERE in a matter of days! I don't know what I'll do. I still don't know exactly how I feel about him, so I don't know how to act or what to say when he gets here. What am I going to do?
I've loved him for four long years...but is it just a childhood crush or something more? It feels like more. He is such a wonderful person - a great friend, a brave and loyal wizard, and always a gentleman. Not to mention the fact that he's drop-dead gorgeous...
I can't imagine myself ever loving anyone as much as I love him. But I don't see why he would ever want plain, simple, ordinary me, when he could have any witch he wanted...
I suppose I could manage to be happy if I was just his friend. But the possibility of our relationship being so much more makes my heart ache to tell him I love him! I wish I knew how he felt about me.
Perhaps I should have paid more attention in Divination, instead of following Ron's advice and making everything up...
~
Harry checked his belongings for the third time, trying to assure himself that he hadn't forgotten anything, and piled his things at the bottom of the stairs. Not knowing how his traveling companion would be arriving, he kept his eyes on the fireplace and his hears straining for the telltale pop of someone apparating. So when a firm knock sounded at the door, he jumped in surprise. When he opened the door and saw who was there, he stared in disbelief. Of all the possible people he had thought might come for him, this wizard had never entered his mind.
~
"Charlie? Aren't you supposed to be in Romania?"
"I just left there, actually. Dumbledore has asked me to take on a special assignment, the first part of which was to deliver you to the Burrow safely."
"What's the next part?" Harry asked curiously. He couldn't think of many things that would tear Charlie away from his beloved dragon-training career.
"Well, I'm going to stay with you, Ron, and everyone else for awhile. A long while, if truth be told. The ministry finally agreed to stationing dragons at Hogwart's, and I'm one of the select few who'll be on hand to help keep them under control."
"Wicked! Hagrid must be so excited! Ron, too, he'll love having you around."
"I hope so. Hagrid is still...um, out of the country, so I may also be substituting for him during Care of Magical Creatures. I had to keep it a secret from Mum and Dad because Dumbledore's worried that the information could leak out if too many people know; they don't even know I've left Romania. And if it reached the wrong ears that I was coming to get you tonight, well, it just wouldn't have been safe for either of us."
"Oh," Harry said quietly, dwelling on the fact that he was being hunted by Voldemort.
Charlie noticed Harry's discomfort and decided to get his mind off the subject, "So, ready to get away from these muggles?"
"Definitely. How are we travelling, anyway?"
"On my bike, of course."
"Your bike?"
"Yeah, my motorcycle. It's the closest the muggles have come to finding as good a way to travel as by broomstick. I couldn't exactly fly here, though, could I?"
"You're probably right. But how are we going to take my things?"
"Well, we'll let Hedwig fly, and then shrink everything else to fit in the storage compartment under the seat."
"Cool."
Harry yelled upstairs that he was leaving, and went outside where Charlie had just finished tucking everything away.
He handed Harry a helmet and they climbed onto the motorcycle. It roared to life and they were soon racing down the motorway.
~
A/N: Songfic to Avril Lavigne's "Things I'll never Say"
~
I'm tugging at my hair
I'm pulling at my clothes
I'm trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
It was Saturday, the day that Harry would arrive, and Ginny had been changing her clothes and messing with her hair all day. After supper, she finally settled on what she thought Harry would find most appealing, and went downstairs to wait for him.
As she twirled a lock of hair round and round her finger, a very familiar rumble grew louder outside. She knew it had to be Charlie on his motorcycle, but didn't stop to think about who might have been with him. When she saw Harry she froze.
I'm staring at my feet
My checks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head
Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
"Hi," was all that managed to escape her lips.
"Hi? That's all I get from the sister I haven't seen for months?" Charlie exclaimed as he picked Ginny up in a big, brotherly hug.
"Hey, Gin, how's your summer been?" Harry asked casually.
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
"Oh, all right," she blushed, then changed the subject, "Have you two eaten?"
"No, and we're famished. Fancy heating something up for us, sis?"
"Sure. No problem." Ginny retreated to the kitchen, scolding herself for acting like such an idiot.
It don't do me any good
It's just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What's on my mind
If ain't coming out
We're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care
"Why can't I?" Ginny mused to herself.
"Why can't you what?" Harry asked as he entered, followed by Charlie.
"Oh! Uh...well...um, never mind, I just remembered."
Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
As Harry and Charlie ate their belated supper, the rest of the Weasley's trickled in and greeted them with surprised smiles.
Later that night, Ginny crept back downstairs because she hadn't been able to fall asleep.
She flopped down on the couch and realized she wasn't alone.
~
Ginny had nearly sat on top of Harry. She was grateful for the lack of proper lighting, because she knew her face must be scarlet.
"Can't sleep either, ay?" Harry said, taken aback by the littlest Weasley's entrance.
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
"No, I couldn't. I was thinking about someone and wasn't able to get them off my mind." Ginny admitted, wondering what the heck had possessed her and if her lips would betray her again.
What's wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I've got nothing to say
Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
Yes I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you...away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
These things I'll never say
"Really?" Harry questioned. "So was I. There's this girl - at school - and I think I really like her, but I don't know if we'll ever be more than friends," he finished, as surprised at his openness as Ginny had been about hers.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Ginny said while thinking 'Oh, God, what am I doing?'
"Well, I guess so. You're a girl, so you're probably better at relationship advice than Ron."
Time stood still for Ginny. She was at a crossroads. No matter whom Harry was thinking about, she had two choices: (1) help him and become closer friends with him, or (2) give him bad advice that would increase her chances of him considering her.
As tempting as the latter was, she knew that path would risk losing his trust forever, as well as intentionally making him unhappy. And Virginia Weasley could not bear the guilt she knew she would feel for making Harry Potter be anywhere else than in high spirits.
And so Ginny made the decision that would ultimately change her life forever.
~
Harry talked to Ginny for hours about how he liked Cho, what he thought about Cho and Cedric, and how he should approach Cho. Ginny listened attentively, giving Harry the same kind of advice she would have given any of her friends. After hours of conversing, the two felt like they had been friends forever. They headed up the stairs and at Ginny's door Harry wrapped his arms around her.
"You're a great friend, Ginny. Thanks for listening to me tonight." He whispered in her ear before coming out of the embrace.
"You're welcome," Ginny's voice managed to produce with out shaking. She was holding back tears of anger, regret, and a broken heart. As her hand turned the knob to her bedroom and Harry had just reached the next set of steps when he turned and spoke again.
"Hey, Gin, would it be alright if...I mean, if I need your advice, could we do this again?"
A smile on her face, but not willing to trust her voice a second time, Ginny nodded in agreement. Harry grinned at his newfound confidant and resumed climbing the stairs up to Ron's room.
~
No sooner had Ginny shut her door than the tears began to cascade down her freckled cheeks. She lowered herself to the floor at the foot of her bed and hugged her knees to her chest. She was happy that Harry trusted her and considered her a friend, but couldn't stand loving him so much and not being able to tell him.
So she made the decision to end the romance that existed only in her mind. She had read in TeenWitch magazine that one way to achieve "closure" was to write a letter to the person you had issues with, and never send it; with this in mind she took out a sheet of lightweight parchment, and let her quill roam free over its surface.
Dear Harry,
I've been searching deep down in my soul, and of all the things I've believed in, I just want to get this over with. I've decided that the last three years were just pretend...you were the one I loved, the one thing I've held onto. Now I must say goodbye to you and everything I thought I knew about love.
I'll still get lost in your eyes, and it will seem like I can't live a day without you. Because I want you. But I'm not giving into myself anymore. I'll close my eyes and chase away the thoughts of you as anything other than my friend. It feels like I'm starting all over again.
But when the stars fall I will lie awake...
You are my shooting star...my heart will always make a wish for you, but my mind knows that I'll never be able to reach you.
Always and Forever.
~Ginny
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: That last bit was adapted from Avril Lavigne's Things I'll Never Say.
Also, I'd really appreciate it if you would respond. I've been writing this for a while and posting it elsewhere, but I was hoping to get some constructive feedback from all the readers here.
Thanks in advance!
Harry didn't protest when Arabella stood up and announced that they should be getting to bed. Even though it wasn't very late, his emotional exhaustion from the day's events made him feel like he had been awake for days.
He crawled into bed where, to his surprise, a smile crossed his face. He was haunted by the memories of his parents being murdered; he was annoyed that, yet again, he had been kept in the dark about so many important things in his life.
However, he was immensely proud of his parents, and overjoyed that he now had a link to the magical community that was so easily accessible from his excuse for an existence at the Dursley's.
The grin remained intact as he slept. His happiness rewarded him with such a sound and dreamless sleep that the intense burning that radiated from the lightening shaped scar on his forehead came and went without notice...
~
As the sunlight streamed in the bedroom window and across Harry's face, he briefly wondered why he hadn't already been awakened by Petunia screaming at him to make breakfast. Then the events of the previous day came flooding back to him.
I think I'll stay in bed all morning, he thought to himself as he rolled over and sighed contentedly. But his stomach was inclined to disagree. He slipped his glasses on and meandered to the kitchen in his pyjamas.
"Morning," he greeted Arabella sleepily as she placed a plate of freshly toasted crumpets on the table.
"Morning, Harry, you're just in time to eat. Help yourself," she replied, indicating the spread on the table. There were all sorts of marmalades, Nutella, and honey (to spread on the crumpets), as well as a pile of bacon and a pitcher of pumpkin juice.
When there were only a few crumbs left on the table, Arabella told Harry that he needed to go wash up and get dressed.
"What's the rush?"
"Professor Dumbledore owled me very early; he wrote that he would be coming over later this morning to speak with us," she answered non-chalantly, in an attempt to hide how worried she truly was.
"Oh." Harry's mind was reeling with possibilities once again. Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwart's, was a very busy man, and Harry knew that he was more preoccupied than ever since the return of Voldemort. So what was so important that he was taking time to speak with Harry in person?
Harry emerged from his room wearing navy slacks and a short sleeved shirt. He found Arabella preparing tea & biscuits on a tray and helped her take them into the living room.
They sat making idle chatter for a few moments before a loud pop directed their attention to the entryway.
"Albus! It's been so long!" Arabella exclaimed as she rose to meet him.
"Yes, Madame Figg, it has," he returned, kissing the back of her hand. "Though time has treated you well. Since the last time we met you seem to have discovered how to reverse the aging process." He knew full well that she hadn't reversed anything; that she'd only taken a break from the fast-forwarding she'd been up to for years.
"Good morning, Professor," Harry interceded, standing to join the others.
"Ah! Harry, settling in alright, I hope?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good, good. Shall we sit?" he asked as he lowered himself into an overstuffed wingback chair.
Professor Dumbledore sat very still, collecting his thoughts, before divulging to Harry and Arabella what was in store for them all in the coming year...
"You may recall, Harry, that I said that those of us "in the know" would have to stick together if we are to have any chance of stopping Voldemort. I instructed Sirius to speak with Arabella, Remus Lupin, and Mundungus Fletcher. He did so, and I then instructed Arabella to reveal her true self to you. I hoped to preserve more of your childhood, Harry, but in these dark times we must utilize every asset that we have.
"Which is why your studies this year will be...enhanced. You will learn the details of your extra coursework after you have arrived at Hogwart's. What I can tell you now is that Miss Figg will be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, since she no longer needs to keep her identity a secret from you. We will have some other new faculty members, as well...but none that you need to be concerned about just yet.
"Despite the measures that have been taken for your safety at the Dursley's, I think it would be most wise to have you in the midst of other wizards and witches. So, when your family returns from holiday, I will send someone to escort you to the Weasley's house for the remainder of the summer. I know you must have a plethora of questions for me, harry, but I really must be going right now. Madame - or should I say Professor - Figg will do her best to answer them for you. I will be in touch." Albus Dumbledore stood and drew a thick parchment envelope from within his robes. He handed it to Arabella and left as abruptly as he had come.
~
Over the next two weeks, Arabella told Harry stories about when she went to school at Hogwart's with Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, et al. Harry hoped that Sirius would come to visit him at Figg's house, but reckoned that it was either too dangerous or that he was doing things for Dumbledore still. The day before the Dursley's were to return, Arabella took Harry's school things back (he had finished all of his homework, with her help) and made sure she had some aging potion left.
The following afternoon, she aged herself and walked Harry down the street. They rehearsed what they would say so that Petunia thought he had had a dreadful time, and after they both delivered their lines, Arabella gave Harry a wink when Petunia's back was turned and hobbled back to her house.
No sooner had Harry dropped his duffel of clothes on the bed than Hedwig flew through the window, landed on Harry's shoulder, and nipped him lovingly on the ear. The boy untied the letter attached to her leg and as he read it ran downstairs to tell the Dursley's that he would be leaving for the Weasley's house that night.
~
Meanwhile...
~
Miles away from where Harry was just learning the truth about Arabella Figg, the Weasley clan was trying to make the most out of their summer. Charlie and Bill were still in Romania and Egypt, respectively, while Mr. Weasley and Percy were working long hours at the ministry.
Fred and George spent their time coming up with new tricks for their joke shop and practicing Quidditch with Ron. When the youngest Weasley brother wasn't practicing, he moped around the house, muttering about what a worthless git that Krum was, ever since he received an owl from Hermione telling him she would be in Bulgaria for a while.
Mrs. Weasley had been spending her time trying to figure out what was wrong with Ginny...
~
It was another warm summer's evening, and the Weasley's were sitting around the dinner table sharing snippets from their days. Ginny was listening only enough to make sure she laughed, nodded, or looked surprised at the right times.
Her mind was too troubled about the coming night to bother listening to the same type of anecdotes she had heard yesterday, and every other night since they had returned from Hogwart's. Percy would have some "important business" to allude to with her father, who was excited about figuring out some muggle device or another ("It's amazing, the things they come up with," he would invariably exclaim). George and Fred will have come up with another million-galleon idea, and Ron will recite his latest top-ten list of reasons why you should NEVER visit Bulgaria.
~
If it had been the previous summer, Ginny would have been happily focused on her family, but recent events had affected her to the point of consuming her every waking thought.
She supposed it had really begun three years go when she had become a pawn in Tom Riddle's dark agenda, but it had only become bothersome since the third task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament.
When everyone had realized that Harry and Cedric had disappeared, she fled to her dormitory to cry, praying that the boy-who-lived had not left this world before she had been able to tell him how much she cared about him. She wept so deeply that she exhausted herself and cried herself to sleep.
That was when the dreams had begun.
~
"Ginny!" A loud voice slashed into the teenage girl's recollections.
"Pardon, Mum, what did you say?" Ginny replied, slipping back to the present.
"I asked you how your day was, dear."
"Oh, alright, I guess. I worked on some essays for Professor Binns, watched the boys practicing Quidditch, and then took a nap." It was a somewhat truthful account. She had blankly stared at her History of Magic book, wandered out to the field to sit under a tree as Ron and the twins flew overhead, and then gone to lay on her bed in avoidance of her mother's troubled glances at her. But the entire time she had been lost in introspective thought, trying to figure out why she was having those dreams and - on a different but related matter - what her true feelings for Harry were.
"That's nice, dear," Mrs. Weasley responded, knowing that there was more to the story, but letting her only daughter wait until she was ready to discuss it. Molly may be the mother of six, five of them boys, but she hadn't forgotten what it was like to be fourteen.
~
After everyone's tummies were satisfied and the dishes had been cleaned and put away, Ginny retreated to her bedroom. She had decided to write down her feelings in an effort to understand them better.
Even thought the last time she journalled her thoughts it had nearly led to her death - and would have if it hadn't been for Harry (she sighed longingly at the memory of being fought for and rescued by her hero) - she knew that she needed to sort some things out.
Being that she was without a Pensieve, putting things down on paper was the best option available to her. So she found the untouched journal she had disregarded the previous Christmas and began to describe what had been happening to her the last few weeks.
~
Ginny's Journal Entry:
~
To start off with, I would like to say that I have never been this exhausted in my life. The dreams have been waking me up every night, and I can never get back to sleep. Even if I can get past the thoughts of the dreams themselves, I lie awake thinking about HP...I wonder what he's doing...if he ever thinks about me...
*deep sigh*
Anyway, I'm writing in this journal to try and figure out what the deal is with the dreams that I've been having. The first dream was so vivid and clear compared to the ones I've had recently.
I had fallen asleep crying over Harry's disappearance. As soon as I was unconscious the nightmare began.
I felt as if I was seeing and hearing things through someone else's eyes and ears; wherever I was it was dark, hot, and wet. I could hear someone saying what sounded like an incantation...a strange sensation came over me. Then all of a sudden I could see others nearby. Someone far away on the ground...other were appearing all around me. The person whose eyes I saw through moved to the figure on the ground - I screamed, but no one heard me. It was Harry.
Words were said, Harry was trying to get away, then he stood before me, looking braver than I could ever have imagined. I watched a hand raise a wand in front of me. The shout I heard next was unmistakably "Avada Kedavra!"
I screamed again as I sat up in bed. At that moment I had been sure that Harry was dead. When I heard that Harry had returned, battered but alive, I couldn't believe my ears, but I was relieved that what I had seen must have just been a dream. Oh, if only it had been! Later, when Professor Dumbledore told us what had happened to Harry that night, I knew I would never sleep peacefully again. I knew that I had seen through the Dark Lord's eyes...and that it was bound to happen again.
~
Tears splashed onto Ginny's journal. She closed her eyes and silently wept before regaining her composure and setting her quill back to work:
Since then the dreams have come every night. The visions are blurrier, the voices indistinguishable, but the atmosphere is always frightening. Wizards in dark, hooded robes, whispered instructions, and repeated use of all three of the unforgivable curses.
I know what I'm seeing is real, but who'd believe me? And what good would it do anybody? I don't see the future, I see the present. And I can't see anyone's face or understand what's being said.
Then there's the question of why. It has to have something to do with what happened my first year at Hogwart's. Tom Marvolo Riddle took over my mind and left a bit of himself etched into my being. Is it too far-fetched to think that I am now somehow connected to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? Does HE know that I watch him every night? Does he feel my presence? Worst of all - if he does know, what are his plans for me?
I'm so scared. Scared of what I'll see tonight when my body gives in to the exhaustion. Scared that this wretched ability of mine could allow me to help fight against the Dark Lord, but that I'm too young and too weak to make a difference. Just like I was too naïve and inexperienced to resist Tom Riddle.
I want to tell Harry...mid-sentence, Ginny's quill fell from her fingers as she collapsed into a fitful sleep.
~
Miles away Harry drifted off to sleep as well, but he had a smile fixed upon his face.
~
Ginny sat up suddenly. Her heart was racing, her head pounding. It took her a few moments to realize that she was safe in her room. Picking up her journal, she realized she had fallen asleep and been having another dream. This one had been almost as real as the first, and nearly as disturbing...
Outside her window, the moon was sailing high; everyone else was surely fast asleep. She decided to go downstairs for a while, writing one last word in her journal before tucking it under her pillow: everything.
~
The next week and a half was uneventful. Ginny's dreams continued, but had resumed their foggy nature. Last night had been no different. Ginny had again awoken in the middle of the night and laid in bed, staring out at the stars until the sun's light made them fade away into the morning sky.
Ginny changed out of her nightgown and made her way to the kitchen for some breakfast. She was the first one up (again), so she was the first to see the post owl that was waiting on the ledge. As she untied the parchment from around brown bird's leg, she realized it was from Hogwart's.
"What's that, Ginny?"
The youngest Weasley jumped; she hadn't heard her mum enter the room.
"It's a letter from Hogwart's."
"Well, let's see it then." Ginny handed the letter over and waited anxiously to learn what it said.
"Oh!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed happily. "Harry's coming to stay with us earlier than usual this summer. Dumbledore says that someone will be escorting him here in a few days. That's interesting...I wonder who it'll be?"
Ginny mumbled in agreement as her cheeks grew rosy. She hurriedly excused herself and ran back to her bedroom. Once there, she headed straight for her journal and began scratching out her emotions with her quill...
~
Ginny's journal:
~
Holy Cricket!
Harry will be HERE in a matter of days! I don't know what I'll do. I still don't know exactly how I feel about him, so I don't know how to act or what to say when he gets here. What am I going to do?
I've loved him for four long years...but is it just a childhood crush or something more? It feels like more. He is such a wonderful person - a great friend, a brave and loyal wizard, and always a gentleman. Not to mention the fact that he's drop-dead gorgeous...
I can't imagine myself ever loving anyone as much as I love him. But I don't see why he would ever want plain, simple, ordinary me, when he could have any witch he wanted...
I suppose I could manage to be happy if I was just his friend. But the possibility of our relationship being so much more makes my heart ache to tell him I love him! I wish I knew how he felt about me.
Perhaps I should have paid more attention in Divination, instead of following Ron's advice and making everything up...
~
Harry checked his belongings for the third time, trying to assure himself that he hadn't forgotten anything, and piled his things at the bottom of the stairs. Not knowing how his traveling companion would be arriving, he kept his eyes on the fireplace and his hears straining for the telltale pop of someone apparating. So when a firm knock sounded at the door, he jumped in surprise. When he opened the door and saw who was there, he stared in disbelief. Of all the possible people he had thought might come for him, this wizard had never entered his mind.
~
"Charlie? Aren't you supposed to be in Romania?"
"I just left there, actually. Dumbledore has asked me to take on a special assignment, the first part of which was to deliver you to the Burrow safely."
"What's the next part?" Harry asked curiously. He couldn't think of many things that would tear Charlie away from his beloved dragon-training career.
"Well, I'm going to stay with you, Ron, and everyone else for awhile. A long while, if truth be told. The ministry finally agreed to stationing dragons at Hogwart's, and I'm one of the select few who'll be on hand to help keep them under control."
"Wicked! Hagrid must be so excited! Ron, too, he'll love having you around."
"I hope so. Hagrid is still...um, out of the country, so I may also be substituting for him during Care of Magical Creatures. I had to keep it a secret from Mum and Dad because Dumbledore's worried that the information could leak out if too many people know; they don't even know I've left Romania. And if it reached the wrong ears that I was coming to get you tonight, well, it just wouldn't have been safe for either of us."
"Oh," Harry said quietly, dwelling on the fact that he was being hunted by Voldemort.
Charlie noticed Harry's discomfort and decided to get his mind off the subject, "So, ready to get away from these muggles?"
"Definitely. How are we travelling, anyway?"
"On my bike, of course."
"Your bike?"
"Yeah, my motorcycle. It's the closest the muggles have come to finding as good a way to travel as by broomstick. I couldn't exactly fly here, though, could I?"
"You're probably right. But how are we going to take my things?"
"Well, we'll let Hedwig fly, and then shrink everything else to fit in the storage compartment under the seat."
"Cool."
Harry yelled upstairs that he was leaving, and went outside where Charlie had just finished tucking everything away.
He handed Harry a helmet and they climbed onto the motorcycle. It roared to life and they were soon racing down the motorway.
~
A/N: Songfic to Avril Lavigne's "Things I'll never Say"
~
I'm tugging at my hair
I'm pulling at my clothes
I'm trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
It was Saturday, the day that Harry would arrive, and Ginny had been changing her clothes and messing with her hair all day. After supper, she finally settled on what she thought Harry would find most appealing, and went downstairs to wait for him.
As she twirled a lock of hair round and round her finger, a very familiar rumble grew louder outside. She knew it had to be Charlie on his motorcycle, but didn't stop to think about who might have been with him. When she saw Harry she froze.
I'm staring at my feet
My checks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head
Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
"Hi," was all that managed to escape her lips.
"Hi? That's all I get from the sister I haven't seen for months?" Charlie exclaimed as he picked Ginny up in a big, brotherly hug.
"Hey, Gin, how's your summer been?" Harry asked casually.
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
"Oh, all right," she blushed, then changed the subject, "Have you two eaten?"
"No, and we're famished. Fancy heating something up for us, sis?"
"Sure. No problem." Ginny retreated to the kitchen, scolding herself for acting like such an idiot.
It don't do me any good
It's just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What's on my mind
If ain't coming out
We're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care
"Why can't I?" Ginny mused to herself.
"Why can't you what?" Harry asked as he entered, followed by Charlie.
"Oh! Uh...well...um, never mind, I just remembered."
Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
As Harry and Charlie ate their belated supper, the rest of the Weasley's trickled in and greeted them with surprised smiles.
Later that night, Ginny crept back downstairs because she hadn't been able to fall asleep.
She flopped down on the couch and realized she wasn't alone.
~
Ginny had nearly sat on top of Harry. She was grateful for the lack of proper lighting, because she knew her face must be scarlet.
"Can't sleep either, ay?" Harry said, taken aback by the littlest Weasley's entrance.
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
"No, I couldn't. I was thinking about someone and wasn't able to get them off my mind." Ginny admitted, wondering what the heck had possessed her and if her lips would betray her again.
What's wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I've got nothing to say
Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
Yes I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you...away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
These things I'll never say
"Really?" Harry questioned. "So was I. There's this girl - at school - and I think I really like her, but I don't know if we'll ever be more than friends," he finished, as surprised at his openness as Ginny had been about hers.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Ginny said while thinking 'Oh, God, what am I doing?'
"Well, I guess so. You're a girl, so you're probably better at relationship advice than Ron."
Time stood still for Ginny. She was at a crossroads. No matter whom Harry was thinking about, she had two choices: (1) help him and become closer friends with him, or (2) give him bad advice that would increase her chances of him considering her.
As tempting as the latter was, she knew that path would risk losing his trust forever, as well as intentionally making him unhappy. And Virginia Weasley could not bear the guilt she knew she would feel for making Harry Potter be anywhere else than in high spirits.
And so Ginny made the decision that would ultimately change her life forever.
~
Harry talked to Ginny for hours about how he liked Cho, what he thought about Cho and Cedric, and how he should approach Cho. Ginny listened attentively, giving Harry the same kind of advice she would have given any of her friends. After hours of conversing, the two felt like they had been friends forever. They headed up the stairs and at Ginny's door Harry wrapped his arms around her.
"You're a great friend, Ginny. Thanks for listening to me tonight." He whispered in her ear before coming out of the embrace.
"You're welcome," Ginny's voice managed to produce with out shaking. She was holding back tears of anger, regret, and a broken heart. As her hand turned the knob to her bedroom and Harry had just reached the next set of steps when he turned and spoke again.
"Hey, Gin, would it be alright if...I mean, if I need your advice, could we do this again?"
A smile on her face, but not willing to trust her voice a second time, Ginny nodded in agreement. Harry grinned at his newfound confidant and resumed climbing the stairs up to Ron's room.
~
No sooner had Ginny shut her door than the tears began to cascade down her freckled cheeks. She lowered herself to the floor at the foot of her bed and hugged her knees to her chest. She was happy that Harry trusted her and considered her a friend, but couldn't stand loving him so much and not being able to tell him.
So she made the decision to end the romance that existed only in her mind. She had read in TeenWitch magazine that one way to achieve "closure" was to write a letter to the person you had issues with, and never send it; with this in mind she took out a sheet of lightweight parchment, and let her quill roam free over its surface.
Dear Harry,
I've been searching deep down in my soul, and of all the things I've believed in, I just want to get this over with. I've decided that the last three years were just pretend...you were the one I loved, the one thing I've held onto. Now I must say goodbye to you and everything I thought I knew about love.
I'll still get lost in your eyes, and it will seem like I can't live a day without you. Because I want you. But I'm not giving into myself anymore. I'll close my eyes and chase away the thoughts of you as anything other than my friend. It feels like I'm starting all over again.
But when the stars fall I will lie awake...
You are my shooting star...my heart will always make a wish for you, but my mind knows that I'll never be able to reach you.
Always and Forever.
~Ginny
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: That last bit was adapted from Avril Lavigne's Things I'll Never Say.
Also, I'd really appreciate it if you would respond. I've been writing this for a while and posting it elsewhere, but I was hoping to get some constructive feedback from all the readers here.
Thanks in advance!