-39-
I don't know how much time passed as I sat there, pondering the meaning of my existence, trying to remember everything I could about myself and my Villikins. The guys certainly waited patiently as I thought, but I suppose that since their only other choice was going into that underground castle, of course they were going to wait it out with me.
Thoughts had floated in and out of my mind as I sat there, but nothing stayed long enough for me to really analyze. Nothing new showed up. Everything I had seen before had already been thought over again and again with absolutely no result whatsoever. It all felt like a colossal waste of time.
"I changed my mind," I announced, to the surprise of the others.
"What?" Zione asked.
"I don't want to talk about it."
They stared.
"I know you'd like me to, to tell you everything, but I can't. Now is not the time. I keep going over everything in my head, trying to find something I can use to form a coherent narrative, but there's nothing. All I can think about is you guys, and Miyka'el, and Caol and Fiore and Angelos and Adèle, and I just..." I shook my head. "How about a compromise? We go in there, we give it our best shot, we beat this lady, save the day, go back to nice little house to recuperate, and then I'll tell you guys everything you need to know. But right now I can't."
I got to my feet and stared down at the guys, trying not to let the images of the vision in my mind get resurrected as I did so.
"I have to do this now, before I lose my nerve."
"Or before we talk you out of it," Zale added quietly.
"What?"
The guys sat in silence. They were hiding something from me, just as I was hiding something from them.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Miyka'el... stayed behind to talk to Adèle," Nam began.
"Why? She's practically a fraud."
"That's what he's hoping, actually," Aurick replied.
"What do you mean?" I couldn't believe how many questions I had to ask to get it out of them.
Aurick continued. "He wants to know exactly when she lost her visions."
I waited for him to finish.
"Because... the last vision she had... was about you."
"But it's probably not true," Zione pointed out. "Especially since she's so jealous of your visions, it's probably just... something she made up."
"And what exactly happens in this final vision of hers?"
Zale slowly looked from Nam to me and back to Nam again, before finally focusing on me. Nam looked terrible, all of a sudden.
"Well," Zale began, glancing once more at Nam. "You... and Nam..."
Nam couldn't take it anymore. "We die."