Disclaimer: My name is not J.K. Rowling, and never shall be – at least in part because I don't want to go by the name Joanne (no offence to any Joannes reading this, it's just not something I would change my name to. You'd probably feel the same about my name).
Notes: My sincerest thanks to those who have read and reviewed this story so far.
I'd apologise for the (literal) cliff-hanger at the end of the last chapter, but I'm evil enough to have enjoyed it.
I do apologise, however, for the long gap between this chapter and the last one… life got crazy-busy all of a sudden, and I haven't had the time or inclination to write (or indeed, do much online) for a while now. I have quite literally been writing this chapter for weeks, and although I'm not entirely happy with it, I just want the silly thing posted so I can get on with the story.
"Ron, he's just scared. Shut up an-" Sev trailed off, a horrified expression on his pale face as he gazed out the window. Outside the old, slightly scratched glass, he could see nothing but a dark expanse of water, gently lapping at the rocks some fifty feet below them. Lights flickered faintly in the distance, giving Sev some idea of their location.
Just off the Hogsmeade road. Right next to Hogwarts' lake. Apparently hanging at the edge of a cliff over said lake.
"Oh, fuck…."
"What?" Harry demanded anxiously, green eyes glazed with pain as he clutched his wrist against his chest. "What's wrong?"
"We, um, see to have a bit of a problem…"
"What kind of problem?" Ron lurched to his feet, swaying precariously over Harry's prone form.
"Stay still!" Severus ordered sharply, tearing his gaze away from the drop outside the window to glare at the red-head. Ron glared back at his long-haired friend, and Sev sighed. "Sorry. But you'll both have to keep still for now. We're a little too close to the lake, and, well…" his voice dropped to a mumble and he looked away, avoiding the worried eyes of his friends, "any quick movements could send us tumbling straight over the cliff…"
"The what?" This was Harry, who Sev had almost forgotten was present, sprawled on the floor. Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Severus tried instead for a reassuring smile; as the slightly glazed looks upon the faces of both his friends had not altered the slightest, it appeared that the smile was not as effective as Sev had hoped.
"Cliff, Harry. High or steep face of rock or soil. In particular, the one just off the Hogsmeade road."
"I know what a cliff is," Harry muttered in reply, sending a dark look in Severus' direction. "You're the Know-It-All… how do we get out of this?"
"Umm. Just a sec." Severus blinked, silently wondering why he was always the one who had to get them out of difficult situations. "Well, if we're still mostly on the ground, we can - carefully - move to the other end of the carriage and climb out through the door. We'll have to do it slowly, though, any quick movements or shifts in balance could… well, I'm sure you can guess."
"'If we're still mostly on the ground'?" Ron asked warily, the sense of danger honed by five older brothers warning him that there was something intrinsically wrong with the plan.
"Well… yes." Sev grimaced. He'd really been hoping that neither of his friends would pick up on that little qualifier. "It could be that we're too far off the cliff, and if we try to get to the door… we'll end up the giant squid's evening snack."
"Lovely," Ron muttered in reply, breaking the silent pause that had followed Sev's revelation. "Just lovely."
"Sorry." Sev shrugged, not looking at all repentant; he hated to be the bearer of bad tidings, but it was the truth. And Ron had asked.
"Right, then," Severus continued, looking between his two best friends and making another attempt at a reassuring smile. "Ron, you go stand by the door - slowly, mind - and I'll help Harry up." Ron, as the tallest and heaviest of the trio, should provide enough counter-balance that Harry's getting to his feet wouldn't tip them over the cliff.
In theory, at least.
But theory wasn't terribly reassuring in situations like this, and Severus held his breath as Ron began to move towards the far end of the carriage, careful not to make any sudden moves or trip over the various items littering his path.
Agonizing moments later the red-head reached the door. Harry and Severus let out identical sighs of relief; sighs which turned into strangled exclamations of horror as several pieces of paper under Ron's foot slid to the side, unsettling his balance and causing him to stagger back a few steps. Crookshanks leapt from Severus' arms, darting for the door and out the partially-open window. The carriage began to rock slowly backwards, all three boys freezing in horrified anxiety as they waited to see what would happen next.
The carriage rolled forward, poised on the very edge of the ground, and let out a rusty creak. And then… they were falling. Down, down, straight towards the murky depths of the lake. Severus closed his eyes, silently beseeching some greater power to somehow save them, because at this speed, with the rocks, and no wands, there was little chance they'd get out of this alive without some form of divine intervention.
As if in answer to his prayers, the carriage's occupants were sent roughly bouncing off walls and seats and into each other as their descent halted abruptly. The three lay in a tangled, rather bewildered sprawl of limbs in the space between the two seats as the vehicle slowly began to rise back up the cliff and away from the edge, coming to a less-than-gentle landing in the middle of the road. The boys scrambled to their feet, forgetting injuries and belongings as they tumbled inelegantly out of the door and onto solid ground.
"Thank God!" Ron gasped, hands clutching the muddy grass as a drowning man would a life-preserver. From his seat curled on the ground some feet away, Crookshanks raised his head briefly in Ron's direction, sending the boy a look that Ron would later swear was a smirk.
"Not quite." The smooth, silky voice came from somewhere in the shadows behind them. The trio froze, the expressions on their face far more worried than before, even when they had been certain they were about to tumble over the cliff. Severus watched Ron paled to a chalk-white and Harry turned green, feeling the colour drain from his own skin. Oh, bugger.
"Misters Potter, Weasley and Snape… the first day of school, and already you three are in trouble. Severe damage to school property, loss of a very rare and expensive magical creature… What will the Headmaster say?" A small spark of light appeared at the end of a wand, harshly illuminating the pale skin and characteristic sneer of the Hogwarts professor every student least wished to run into on a dark night.
Ron gulped, and Severus briefly wondered if plunging to their certain doom would have been the more desirable fate.
"Pro- Professor Granger."
TBC