-10-
That guy was talking to me again. Everyday since I've awakened here he's come to see me, to talk to me, to let me know what the other patients are doing, or what's going on in the world outside. He seems to be excited about some new food place or something. I'm not really sure. I never really thought about food until I came here.
Regardless, I like listening to him. He's nice. He doesn't make demands, the way the doctor does. Whenever he comes to speak to me, the doctor that is, he always expects me to do something for him. He wants me to talk back. He doesn't get that I'm angry at him. I don't care if he does think he's my father. I don't care. I don't want to talk to anyone.
My memories of the place I was before faded very quickly once I awoke. I miss that place, I know, but it's just a fuzzy series of images and feelings now. I wish I could go back, but I don't ever get a chance to really sleep. They're watching me, trying to make sure they don't lose me again. I wouldn't mind being lost. I don't like what I've seen of this place so far.
The doctor tried to interrupt my chat with "K." It didn't go well.
"Excuse me," the doctor began. "Can I have a moment?"
K. looked a little disappointed. I'm sure I did, too. Or pissed off. One of the two. I shook my head angrily, hoping K. and the doctor would notice and take the hint.
"Um, sir?" K. began, a little embarrassed. "I don't think she wants to talk to you."
"Well, we'll never know unless we try, right?" the doctor asked, trying to remain cheerful. "If you please..."
"No."
They both turned and stared at me. "What?" the doctor asked.
"She spoke," K. noticed.
"Yes, I can see that," the doctor snapped, pretentiously.
K. made a face behind his back.
"No," I repeated.
"No what?" the doctor asked me, as if he were speaking to a five-year-old. Wasn't I making myself clear?
"No!" I struggled to sit up, surprising both K. and the doctor. They hadn't seen much movement out of me since I awoke.
"Please, Alice..." the doctor began.
"Stop!" I cried out, pushing him away. "Go!"
K. stood by, unsure of what to do. I looked toward him with sad eyes.
The doctor looked horribly rejected. "Please leave," he told him.
"No." My voice was finally sounding human. "Don't. I don't... want him to go."
The doctor stared at me. "Why not?"
"Because I don't like you," I explained. Best to be honest with the guy.
He was aghast. "You don't?"
"No. I don't like the way you talk to me, the way you treat me." I had to stop to clear my throat and catch my breath. "I don't like being around you," I rasped.
K. stared.
"K.'s nice to me. He doesn't come here looking for something. He's here to just be with me."
"Alice, really..." the doctor began, obviously turning his nose up at the thought of such sentimentality.
I shook my head. "There's more."
"There is?" the doctor asked.
"Do you have any idea where I was before you brought me here?"
K.'s eyes widened. I wonder if he knew.
The doctor nodded. "Project DINAH. We saw what you saw. You were in, as you called, 'Wonderland.'"
"And did I look happy there?"
The doctor didn't know what to say. The thought must've never occurred to him. "Happy?"
K. found his voice again. "Yes."
I was close to tears. Maybe I was just moved by the fact that K. had come to my defense. Or maybe I really missed Wonderland. Or both. "If I was happy there, why did you have to bring me here?"
My words hung in the silence that followed.
"But..." the doctor began. "You were sick. We had to bring you back here, to reality."
"That was my reality!" I shouted. "That was my home!" My voice threatened to die out on me, but I was determined to give the doctor a piece of my mind.
"But... Alice. I'm your father. I've been waiting years to see you."
"And what about what I want?"
K. watched from the side.
"Alice," the doctor began. "Please. Give it a chance. You'll grow to like it here. This is the real world. You have to like it here."
I glared at him.
"If you have nothing else to say, I think it would be best for us to leave you for awhile, so you can sort out your thoughts."
"My thoughts are sorted out, doc," I replied as he went for the door. "I hate this place. And if you're responsible for bringing me here... then I hate you too."
The doctor stared in amazement, then proceeded to exit from the room, slamming the door behind him in anger.
K. was still standing to the side, watching. Neither of us spoke for awhile.
"Alice," he said at last.
"I don't hate you," I whispered.
He nodded. "That's good."
"So," I began, motioning to the seat beside me. "You saw my tapes?"
He sat down with a smile. "Yeah, they were amazing. The doc's been watching them out of order, I've been screening them all first and transcribing them, and then passing the best ones onto him, but yeah, I mean... they're amazing."
I nodded.
He decided to get up then. He probably had work to do. "You know," he said as he went for the door, "I can kinda see why you'd want to stay there, in Wonderland. You had a real nice group of friends."
I didn't remember any friends too well, so I took his word for it.
"If I had had a choice, I wouldn't have wanted to come back here, either."
And with that, he walked out.
As he did so, something in his last sentence struck me as more than a hypothetical. Was he one of my friends from Wonderland? Was that even possible? I racked my brain, trying to remember a face, but nothing. If only I could see those tapes!
Right then and there I decided I had to find a way to see what Project DINAH had extracted from my dreams. If K. was one of my Wonderland friends, maybe together we could find a way out of here...
... and back to Wonderland.
TO BE CONTINUED...