-The Middle of Nowhere-

A/N: Well, I'm rewriting every chapter of every story all over again, starting with this one first since I have big plans for it and since I have so many amazing reviewers! So, reading it over again really made me disgusted seeing how…oh so noobish my writing used to be XD. So, I'm revamping everything with more details and even a small change in the characters and plot! I realize I made Tifa a bit weak but believe me…that's all going to change! I'm not saying though…wouldn't want to spoil it! Anyways, I hope you guys like it even more now! By the way, in the flashback, the italics represent Tifa's thoughts! I thought it added a hint of realism to it...she IS the one telling it after all...

Memories

"Auntie Tifa, auntie Tifa!" A young and enthusiastic girl had come sprinting cheerfully towards a quiet and empty bar.

In front of the doorway to the bar stood a beautiful young woman who greeted the ecstatic child with a warm smile. The little girl had nearly knocked over the older woman as she rushed into her, quickly snuggling her and wrapping her short little arms around her tightly. They stood that way for quite some time, with the older woman gently patting the little girl's head. It wasn't until they had heard heavy footsteps approaching that the older woman decided to break the comforting silence.

"Marlene…I hope you've been a good girl to your father…" The older woman pushed back slightly to get a good look at the youth's beaming face.

"My, have you grown into such a pretty young girl. It's been…a whole year since we've seen each other hasn't it?" Marlene had simply continued smiling up at her, obviously too overwhelmed to say anything at all.

"Tifa…" A heavy voice had interrupted the two girls, causing them both to turn their heads in the same direction.

It took a while for Tifa to make out the tall and heavily built figure standing in front of her since his face had been hidden in the darkness of the night. Once a portion of his face had come into clear vision of the soft moonlight, Tifa's agape mouth had quickly curved into a gentle smile.

"Barret…It's so nice to see your face again…"

The tall, dark skinned man's hard face had lost it's ferocity for a second as a small soft smile had spread across his lips. As the little girl stepped aside, Tifa moved in and wrapped her slender arms around his thick neck, taking in his scent and embracing all the memories that came flooding back to her. Barret, taken aback by her actions, had stood still for a moment and then soon began to pat her back slowly with his one good hand, his face warming up. After another moment's silence, the two old comrades let go and continued to smile at one another.

"So, would you like to come inside?" Tifa offered, taking a step towards the small bar door, Marlene right behind her.

"Sure…I could use something to drink anyways…" Barret's voice boomed as he began to make his way through the door after Tifa and Marlene.

Tifa walked inside the small and cozy bar and made her way behind the counter where she quickly had pulled out a small shot glass, knowing this was going to be a long night. Barret had entered slowly, his footsteps making creaking noises against the wooden floorboard as he walked. He took a seat on one of the small stools placed in front of the counter and glanced down upon the tiny shot glass that awaited him. His eyes then averted towards the excited little girl who was having trouble getting up on the stool.

"Marlene…why don't you go upstairs or somethin'? Tifa and me have some…things to discuss, alright?"

At this, Marlene looked up at him and pouted in anger. With a small 'hmph', she began making her way towards the stairs, knowing she could never win, and was soon out of eye sight. Meanwhile, Tifa had her back turned and was currently busy fiddling around with bottles of alcohol, though she had heard exactly what he had said and knew what would be coming…

"So…how's business, Teef?" He asked, his eyes still not leaving the shot glass.

"Oh, um…it's great…never been better, really!" Tifa confirmed shallowly, turning around and smiling at him while pouring some alcohol into the glass.

"Oh, well…that's great to hear…As long as you're doing alright…" Barret murmured, his large good hand grasping the tiny shot glass and gulping down all of its contents.

"So…what brings you here exactly? I mean…no one else has come by…no one has even called…Is something wrong?" Tifa asked, her face knotted with worry.

"Nah, nothing's wrong…everyone's just really busy these days ya know? It's hard to find time to…keep in touch…" Barret sighed deeply as Tifa poured some more alcohol into his glass, her ruby orbs avoiding any possible contact with Barret's amber ones.

"Tifa…" Barret's masculine voice seemed to have vanished; being replaced by a sympathetic and calm tone, thus surprising Tifa.

She saw it coming…he had found out about…that day. The day she had tried so hard to forget. Oh, how she wished she could just erase that grotesque day from existence. She looked up at him, trying her best to keep a straight face. However, she found it rather difficult as soon as her exhausted ruby eyes met his saddened and worn out amber eyes. Was it her fault that he was so…depressed?

"What's wrong Barret? What's bugging you…?" Tifa had hesitated; did she really want him to answer that question?

"Well…Tifa, I'm worried about you…I mean, you're alone in Kalm, running a bar all by yourself. It just seems…difficult to be alone." It was Barret's turn to avoid eye contact.

"Oh, Barret! I appreciate your concern and all, but honestly, I'm perfectly happy here! Being alone isn't too bad! You are…talking to the same girl who has been alone from the age of 15…" So he DOES know…

Tifa mumbled the last bit of her sentence. To this day, it had always pained her to think about the past. Especially when she had been 15…She could recall that memory so well that at times she'd feel like it had been happening all over again. She remembered her father's limp bloody body lying on the cold metal reactor floor…That was the very first day in which she was…left all alone. It was the first day in which she had started relying on herself for everything.

"I know that Tifa, but I just can't help but worry about you. I'd feel much more comfortable if you just came down to Corel with me and Marlene…" Barret spoke, hope returning to his aging face.

"It's been a year…why worry about me now…?" Tifa muttered while she examined her run down shoes.

"Tifa, it's not like that! I've always worried about you but…forgive me if news travels slow to Corel…I only just found out a month ago that Cloud left!" Barret was getting more frustrated and impatient by the second, especially when he wasn't getting any good, clear answers from Tifa.

Tifa, on the other hand, had continued to stare down at her feet like a child ashamed of a bad thing they had done. Barret didn't avert his eyes and had kept staring at her, knowing very well he had broken the ice. However, both remained quiet again for at least another minute.

"As a friend…I wanna hear what that spiky assed punk did to you…Tell me, Tifa…what did he do that's made you change so much…?" Barret pleaded.

Tifa finally looked up at him but her usual smile was not gracing her lips. Instead, a frown had played itself among them.

"You…really want to know?" Tifa's voice had grown quieter and held much less emotion now than ever.

Barret merely nodded his head, urging her to go on. Tifa took in a deep breath, the feelings of the past consuming her all over again. With a heavy heart and sorrowful eyes, she began her story…

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It was getting late. He was usually home by now and she couldn't help but worry. Trying to take her mind off it, she began pacing her bar and examining each table for stains, wash cloth at the ready. When she had finished cleaning the invisible stains that she had convinced herself existed, she let out a deep sigh and seated herself down on one of the stools, ruby glazed eyes drifting towards the clock on the wall.

12:39 AM…

She was tired and her body was begging for rest, but she didn't dare sleep. She'd wait for him all night if she had to…she just wanted him...to come back…to know he was there and wasn't leaving. She wouldn't be able to rest until she knew he was there; safe and sound. She just didn't know what she would do if he didn't come back. She knew very well how weak he made her…but she couldn't help it. She just didn't want to be…alone. For once in her life she had the comforting hand of a friend by her side and she didn't want to lose it; not now, not ever.

12: 43 AM…

She hadn't experienced this feeling for a while now and she was just so grateful to be blessed with it again that she couldn't help but depend on it. The last time she had felt this way was when her mother had still been alive. She felt comfortable, secure, safe…special. This was the way he was making her feel by just living with her. Though he wasn't home most of the time, the thought that he would always come back comforted her nonetheless. She was just grateful for anything she could get, really.

12: 47 AM…

Creak…

Her heart skipped a beat. Her breath seemed to be caught in her throat. He's finally here…Excitement sprouted deep within her and she quickly got off her stool and rushed towards the bar door. As soon as her eyes fell across a mess of spiky golden hair, she grinned happily and made her way forwards. He was a bit dirty and his baggy pants and blue tanktop where ripped in certain areas. His hair seemed more out of place that day than ever and, as quickly as it had come, Tifa's smile disappeared. She was now extremely worried, as she made her way towards him.

"Cloud…are you okay?" She asked, her face full of concern.

"I'm fine…" He replied emptily, his head never turning in her direction.

In one swift movement, he walked on right by her, pretending as if she hadn't even been there. Tifa, stunned for a moment, chased after him. By the looks of it, he had been fighting and Tifa couldn't help her curiosity.

"Cloud…did you get into a fight or something? You don't look…all too well…" Tifa continued to question, but to no avail.

Cloud had simply walked into the bar, grabbed a bottle of strong beer and walked past her yet again, ignoring her completely. He opened the bar door and exited, Tifa staring dumbfounded in his direction. Being a caring and helpful woman, she decided she'd grab her sweater and follow him to see what was wrong. As soon as she had opened the bar door, a surge of strong wind had hit her face, chilling her to the bone. She shivered and tugged her black sweater tighter around herself.

She then hastily made her way down the stairs, her eyes scanning for any sign of a bright blonde head. When she did not see it, she decided she'd go hunt around outside of the small town. She wasn't all to surprised when she had spotted him sitting down on one of the many large rocks that surrounded the shore. She had seen him hang out there many times before; the usual rock with the usual bottle of alcohol.

Slowly and cautiously, she made her way towards him, the wind growing stronger amongst her face. Her eyes began to water from the force and the fact that she was now squinting. When she had finally reached him, she smiled lightly to herself and reached out a hand to pat his back. However, her smile seemed to fade and her hand seemed to stop halfway in midair as soon as she had realized...

Those sky blue eyes...that never look my way...were turned towards the midnight sky, where a bright full moon shone and few stars had ignited around it. Those sky lit eyes...kept looking away from me...again. What a fool I have been. This whole time, I've been a delusional idiot, following him blindly, hoping he'd turn to look at me just once. It was as if he knew she had been there, right behind him, staring with a blank expression, suppressing ill fated thoughts as quickly as they had come. Yet, he had continued to remain oblivious to her...like usual. It was like, he purposely wanted me erased; out of the picture...out of the way...out of his life.

I guess I should have seen it coming this whole time. That's why it's partly my fault. Never taking his eyes off the distant sky, he swiftly moved his arm holding the bottle towards his mouth and took a long gulp, dropping it by his side lifelessly when he was done.

"I...need to find her...I need her..." He NEEDS her, he says...as if I've been nothing but a minor bump along the road.

"I can't stay here with you anymore...Not until I find...what I'm looking for. Tifa, you just aren't...what I need..." Of all the hurtful things ever said or done to me, I have to admit, that was the deepest. For some reason, it hurt...A LOT...

She said nothing.

Was it that she had nothing to say or was it that she could not muster up the strength to fight back tears and yell insults at him at the same time? All she knew was that she had a lump in her throat and the last thing she needed was to discuss it any further.

"Forgive me, Tifa. I've hurt you so much in the past...You've done so much for me and this time, I'd like to ask you of one last favor..." He had continued to speak, not having enough heart to look her in those pained, glossy eyes.

She remained silent, her arms both hanging limply by her side now, not having enough strength to yell, to run, to fight, to do...anything at all really. Part of her wanted to attack him, to hurt him so he could feel how much she hurt because of him while the other wanted to hold him forever and make sure he'd never leave...never. Tifa was caught in between both emotions and thus, resulted in remaining still and just trying to keep a straight face to hide her weakness.

"Promise me Tifa that when I leave...never to come searching for me. Promise me you'll just forget I ever existed...erase me from your memories because...I don't want to hurt you anymore. I don't want you to want me anymore...Forget me Tifa, I'm not meant to be with...anyone. It'll be best for both of us if we went on without remembering the burdens we share...the last thing I need are your problems right now. I need to be alone...that's why I want you to keep away from me at all costs." If he was a fiend, he'd definitely be the first who could actually take me out, you know...and to think it's with simple conversation, too.

She still didn't budge, and yet lifeless words seemed to come out of her mouth nonetheless.

"Okay...If that's what you want, Cloud." Her face was blank and her eyes seemed to linger on him, as if unable to process his latest words.

Cloud remained silent for a moment and continued to stare up at the sky while Tifa simply stared down at the sand her feet were resting on. She could no longer feel the chill of the wind...either that or that she just didn't care if she was freezing. Cloud then got up, grabbed his sword and brushed past her without even so much as a glance. Tifa continued to stand still with an expressionless face, her hair being whipped around messily by the wind.

It wasn't until I was sure he was gone that I dared to move. It wasn't until he had disappeared did I manage to recollect myself and return home. I guess...I was rather pathetic at the time because I relied on him. So, I never truly managed to convince myself that he was never going to come back. I'd be waiting for hours on end until it would hit me that he was gone for good. I'd then silently crawl into bed and just stare blankly at the ceiling, ears keen and ready...like I was expecting him to just waltz right back in through that door to tell me it was all just a joke and that he'd never really leave me...

Unfortunately, whenever that did happen...it turned out I had just been dreaming...

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"Tifa...I don't know what to tell ya..." Barret spoke softly, his eyes finally meeting with hers.

Tifa remained silent and averted her eyes towards the ground, emotions of the past overwhelming her. As she repeated his words, she could hear him saying them all over again to her...so fresh...so crisp...and oh so painful.

"I can't believe that...that...THAT ASSHOLE! Tifa, take his advice...forget him. He's definitely not worth ya time. You deserve better anyways. There's plenty of good men out there who would be more than willing to take care of you so who the hell needs that screwed up blonde!" Barret's voice was slowly rising and regaining its hardness with each word.

Had she become so weak that her friends now thought she needed a man to take care of her? Had she stooped down to such a low level? What had become of that strong, independent girl whom she had once used to be?

"Honestly, Tifa...how can you let such a shit face take advantage of ya like that! I should hunt him down and make him come here and personally apologize to you! Hell, he'd be lucky if I didn't just kill him on the spot! Tifa, it woulda helped if you threw in at least one good punch when you had the chance!" Barret spoke roughly, slamming his fist into the bar counter.

"Barret...don't say such things...It is partly my fault, after all...I shouldn't have been so hopeful. It's natural for me to lose everyone from my past...losing him just added to the pile." Tifa had managed to find her voice, since Barret's last words made her feel a tiny bit of pity for the blonde man whom had stolen more than just her heart.

"WHAT!" Barret seemed to explode at that moment, his amber eyes widening in shock and anger.

His face seemed to be twitching, as if he had heard the most atrocious insult ever thrown at him in his life. Tifa's face however, shot up, and a tiny bit of fear had sprouted among her ruby tinted eyes.

"Tifa, after all this garbage, you can't possibly say you're still in love with that fool!" Barret's voice seemed to be ignited with pure hatred and disgust as his eyes continued to glare into Tifa's own.

Tifa paused, her eyes averting slowly back to the ground that they were accustomed to looking at by now. She had thought about it...a lot. Heck, it was the one question she herself couldn't find the answer too. She just never openly stated it, like Barret had, and so had pushed it in the back of her mind, convincing herself it was inconvenient. After everything he said, everything he had done...after making it clear he was in love with another woman and so coldly rejected her, did she TRULY love him like she had done once in the past?

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A/N: Okay, what did you guys think? I'd say it's much better than the older chapter, not to mention longer and more detailed! Anyways, I'm really happy with how it turned out (for ONCE) and it took me a while to write...But at least it's not rushed or crammed! I hope you guys liked it and stay tuned for the next chapter that is going to be revised as soon as this one is posted! Thanks for all your support!