So, yeah this is the pathetic ending to my pathetic fic. Thank you to all those who took the time to read it and a bigger thanks to those who bothered to review. I hope my ending doesn't totally suck. I hope it doesn't get confusing; I didn't have this proofread as many times as I normally do. Please complain if anything is off or you don't like how a part was written. This is my last appeal for constructive criticism before I start my next fic.
Watari hated the dead silence of the room as he explained the seriousness of Tsuzuki's condition. He wondered if anyone had so much as breathed since he had uttered the words 'cursed'. Hisoka in particular had gone pale – but that was to be expected.
"This curse is currently eating away at his soul." Watari watched as Hisoka clenched his fist so hard; Watari knew it had to be drawing blood. "That demon you were fighting, in order to preserve itself, sacrificed its physical body for the energy to place a curse on Tsuzuki. The demon is using the curse to absorb Tsuzuki's soul." Watari hated being the bearer of bad news, he hated the oppressing silence, and he hated the look in Hisoka's eyes that he couldn't even begin to comprehend.
"Where is it?" the way Tatsumi had spoken the words made it seem like it wasn't a question. He expected the answer as much as he expected air when he took a breath.
Unfortunately the answer wasn't there. "I don't know. The GuShoShin are working on that, but at the moment we have more pressing matters." Because Tatsumi's careless strategy of kill first ask questions later that he implemented whenever the amethyst eyed man was in danger just wasn't going to cut it. "We have to find a way to get Tsuzuki's soul back to him. Confronting the demon in battle will not only cause the demon to use the part of the soul that it's absorbed to attack us with, thus losing that part of the soul, but it will also speed the curse up and cause Tsuzuki's soul to be taken from him at a much faster rate, which the demon would most definitely use to attack us with, and then 'Tsuzuki' would, essentially, cease to exist, he would be nothing but a soulless body."
"It sounds as if you're saying that there is a way to retrieve his soul." Konoe asked cautiously, hoping that the answer didn't just make everyone's distress worse.
"Theoretically, yes." Watari took a deep breath and wondered if this could be counted as good news or not. "The demon probably wants to make the most out of the energy that he is absorbing from Tsuzuki's soul to form the most suitable body for itself. To do that it can't use the energy it absorbs on anything. It won't even change the energy until it knows what it wants it to become."
Well, whether it was good news or bad it served to make Hisoka a little less pale, and whether it was the hope or the feeling that they had a very limited time until Tsuzuki's soul was lost completely, Hisoka looked more determined then he ever had.
Tatsumi, for once in his existence, did not know what to do with himself. He had always been secure on the knowledge that, even if he wasn't Tsuzuki's partner he could burst in and destroy whatever must be destroyed in order to protect him. This time, however, protecting Tsuzuki seemed to be completely out of his hands.
He also was of no use to Watari. Since the meeting six hours ago the blond shinigami (who was operating completely on caffeine) was trying to use the curse it self to find the demon. It involved a computer program, a blood sample, and a lot of big words that Tatsumi didn't think he could hope to comprehend in the necessary period of time.
The research of how to properly return Tsuzuki's soul to his body was held exclusively by Kurosaki and Konoe. It must be noted that Tatsumi is a shadow master, thus he had his powers since birth, and unlike Kurosaki, had never had the need, or truly the ability, to expand them. This lack of knowledge in the spell casting area made him ill suited to aide Kurosaki and Konoe in their search. In layman's terms, he would have to ask so many questions as to the meaning of things, he would slow the process rather then speed it up.
So he had basically been left to tend to Tsuzuki, who hadn't woken up yet. Watari had hooked him up to several machines and asked Tatsumi to keep watch. Tatsumi, needless to say, was not a medical doctor. He had no clue what most of the machines were for, and thus he was sitting uselessly in a chair in front of the bed. He was left to dwell on how much help he wasn't being.
And now one of the machines had started to beep rather unpleasantly and in a way that made him feel like it was slightly more then necessary retrieve Watari so he could decode the meaning of the incessant beeping.
What a wonderful week it was turning out to be.
Hisoka wondered if this was really happening. This wasn't some sort of expression or statement that someone in his situation would ask in a fit of grief. He honestly was wondering if this was really happening. It didn't seem like there was a world anymore. There just seemed to be him Tsuzuki and Watari's words left.
And now the demon had such a large part of Tsuzuki's soul that Tsuzuki couldn't even regain consciousness.
He threw the book to the side with more force then he normally would have used.
Tsuzuki would have saved him already if the roles had been reversed. He hated the way that was almost an accusation in his mind, the way he was on the verge of blaming Tsuzuki for his shortfalls when it came to rescuing the older amethyst eyed man.
He threw the next book in the reject pile hard enough to scatter the books that were on top. Useless.
Whether he was talking about the book or about himself, he wasn't sure.
It was eight hours later and all they had was a general idea of where the demon was. The area had been narrowed down as much as it could without actually going down and looking for it. Finding it wouldn't be all that hard, it wouldn't have any shields.
The real problem was that they had failed to find a spell that would return Tsuzuki's soul back to him. There was plenty of spells dealing with stealing souls, but they all just absorbed souls into one's own body, they didn't return them.
"This is bad." Probably the stupidest thing someone could say right now, but Watari had let the comment drift across the room of sullen people. The atmosphere was tense and it seemed as if someone was playing with the gravity, making them all slightly heavier then normal.
"Are you sure there's nothing?" Tatsumi asked Konoe seriously.
"I'm sure. Not in the library anyway, and it would take too long to get any other books that may be of use."
The room fell into silence again. Watari squirmed a bit; the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Hisoka clenched his fist. There was nothing he could do. He was weak and useless, always Tsuzuki's clingy partner; only now Tsuzuki wasn't going to be here anymore, because there was nothing he could do and it was the most horrible thing because he also didn't have the slightest inkling as to how to follow Tsuzuki where he was going, and the swirling emotions his empathy was picking up only made this worse and
And his empathy…
"My empathy…" he said just above a whisper.
"Bon" Watari looked at him with worry. "Is your empathy bothering you?"
He was quiet for a moment considering "We could use my empathy…"
"Use it?" Tatsumi seemed ready to hear anything.
"There were spells that could absorb souls…but they would have taken both the demon's and Tsuzuki's soul, blending them together."
"We know this Kurosaki-kun." No one really wanted to be reminded of how hopeless the situation was.
Hisoka hesitated, but not at Tatsumi's curtness "…Maybe I could try using my empathy to separate the souls. I could use my empathy to distinguish between the two souls and if I concentrated enough I should be able to only use the spell on Tsuzuki's soul"
Everyone seemed to consider this, Watari nodded a few times; it was a good idea "Do you think you can?"
"I've never tried, but yes, I do think I can." He was sure he could find Tsuzuki's soul, there's no way he wouldn't recognize it.
"Would you be able to keep it separated once you used one of the absorption spells? And will you be able to give it back?" Tatsumi asked hopefully.
Hisoka paused; he had forgotten that last part. Watari answered for him "If bon can separate the soul from his own he should, theoretically, be able to use his empathy to sort of offer the soul back to Tsuzuki, it should be attracted to itself and reenter his body."
Konoe turned to Hisoka "I don't like this…Tsuzuki's soul is practically gone now. If this did work you have almost an entire soul contained within you, and Tsuzuki's is bigger then most, if you let your barriers slip at all not only would we lose Tsuzuki but the shock your body would have to deal with would most likely destroy your soul."
"I just won't slip then." Hisoka answered sharply; it really wasn't an option.
Konoe looked at him levelly "You've never done this before, it's more dangerous then you think. You shouldn't do it." Hisoka opened his mouth to interject; he would never be able to live with himself unless he tried everything, no matter the risk, but Konoe didn't let him get a word out. "But I might allow it, if you let Tatsumi go with you, and if you promise to make some attempt, if at all possible, to expel the soul from your body if you start to lose your hold."
"He's right. We don't want to lose both of you." Watari said seriously, catching Hisoka a bit off guard.
Tatsumi nodded "Besides Tsuzuki-san would be upset with all of us if we allowed you to die for his sake."
Hisoka just blushed and walked out of the room saying he was going to practice the absorption spell. They were his 'family' weren't they; the one he always wanted with people who cared about you unconditionally. He didn't dislike the thought, but he was still not used to it. He needed more time before he could ever hope to be able to respond or even truly acknowledge it. He hated his awkwardness; it had only caused him problems since he had died.
It was raining that day, a light spring rain. It was weird, it rarely rained in Meifu, but it had been steady all day. Hisoka didn't really like the rain, but at least it wasn't storming out. He shifted a bit in his chair trying to find the position where he had the most light to illuminate the pages of his book. It was a day off of work and naturally since he had finished his chores the rest of the day would be spent enjoying the book he had checked out from the library.
And then there was a knock at the door, which was weird because he wasn't on speaking terms with anyone near his house. He frowned and closed his book, placing it on a nearby table as he rose to answer the door. When he opened it, Tsuzuki was standing there, sopping, as he didn't have an umbrella, and was carrying a brown paper bag. "Good evening Hisoka!" He said, smiling with a happiness that made Hisoka wonder if he even knew he was wet. "I brought dinner."
"You idiot you're drenched, hurry and get inside!" Hisoka scolded him stepping to the left so Tsuzuki could enter. He took the bag from him and told him to hang his coat over the shower. Fortunately Tsuzuki's clothes weren't half as wet as his coat; Hisoka didn't have anything for him to change into. He pulled a towel out of the closet and threw it at him. Only Tsuzuki did stupid stuff like go out in the rain to get and bring him dinner. Hisoka's house was just about as out of the way from Tsuzuki's as you could get, so why the man would go to all the trouble was beyond him. "Honestly, were you even thinking?"
"It's just rain Hisoka." He said still smiling
Hisoka blushed at little at the way Tsuzuki was looking at him so directly. "It's cold and wet, why would you voluntarily go out in it?"
"To be with you." Tsuzuki responded simply, smiling sweetly as ever and making Hisoka's blush not so little anymore. He looked down and pretended Tsuzuki couldn't see it, and walked silently in to the kitchen. He opened the bag to find two large foam containers. "Carry out ramen. It's great on days like today." Hisoka nodded absently and pulled down bowls for them. Moments later they were sitting across from each other; Tsuzuki on Hisoka's love seat and Hisoka in the large chair he had previously been reading in. Tsuzuki had gotten Hisoka talking again, and Hisoka actually found this relaxing. They were just sitting there eating dinner, speaking lightly of nothing. It was simple, but for Hisoka it was always the simplest things that made him happy. A good book, Tsuzuki remembering he didn't like onions in his miso soup, the soft cool feel of his comforter when he first crawled into bed at night, the way he could relax completely when Tsuzuki was there, the way Tsuzuki looked at him when he spoke, as if he really was Tsuzuki's equal and what he said mattered, the way Tsuzuki cared about him unconditionally. Of course Hisoka wasn't sure that was all that simple but the way Tsuzuki did it, the way Tsuzuki did everything, it seemed simple. As if caring for and about Hisoka was something that just was, and it wasn't possible for it too be any other way.
Hisoka knew he was in love.
It had taken months to realize it, many more to accept. And now it was his most guarded secret. It was stupid to think Tsuzuki would feel the same. He was important to Tsuzuki; Hisoka knew that. But in the end there was no way Tsuzuki desired the sort of relationship Hisoka had finally realized he wanted. Hisoka had given Tsuzuki no reason to believe he was more than some spoiled, clingy child.
Tsuzuki got ready to leave not long after dinner. It was still raining outside, so Hisoka had to lend him an umbrella. It was a blue one he had bought while out on a mission during the rainy season. He hated how cold and wet rain was, and Hisoka would never understand why anyone would go out in it unless they had to. Tsuzuki's coat hadn't dried yet, Hisoka noticed, when he went to go get it. There wasn't anything he could do about that. "And make sure you go straight home, a grown man shouldn't be messing around in the rain."
"Worried?" Tsuzuki asked. Hisoka just glared back; Tsuzuki should know by now that he didn't get answers for questions like that. He walked with Tsuzuki to the door and stood two steps behind the man as he pulled his shoes onto his feet. "…Hisoka?"
"What?" Not understanding Tsuzuki's sudden meekness, Hisoka's tone was sharp
"I'm in love with you." Tsuzuki didn't turn around when he said it, but he did drop his shields. The sudden rush of emotions hit Hisoka with as much force as a flying brick. There was so much need, gentleness, desire, understanding, confusion, warmth, color; so much love and certainly so much more then Hisoka had known was there. So much that Hisoka could hardly believe that Tsuzuki had managed to bury this deep enough that Hisoka hadn't sensed it ages ago (though hiding emotions was one of Tsuzuki's specialties). The feelings were strong and crisp, but somehow joined. The sudden rush of it was like being slapped, and it made Hisoka practically fall over with the entirety of it all.
And then it was gone, and so was Tsuzuki, long before Hisoka was able to gather enough sense to respond in anyway.
Hisoka groaned quietly at the pain as he woke up; he had one of the worse headaches he had ever had. It took a moment but when his eyes finally focused he recognized the ceiling of the infirmary. He felt over where he knew someone must have left him a glass of water. He brought it to his lips and finished it in three gulps. The water was still cold and Hisoka hoped that was a sign he hadn't been in here long. He knew time was of the essence and he needed to get Tsuzuki's soul back. Despite the pain in his head, which the water had lessened slightly, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and slid off. He wondered how he had gotten there. He remembered training with Konoe-kachou but that was about as close to waking up in the infirmary as he could recall. The training was probably half the cause for the headache, the dream a moment ago the other. He frowned; he didn't want to obsess over Tsuzuki's confession right now. He noticed a steady beeping coming from the other side of the room and allowed his eyes to focus over there. It was Tsuzuki, which he probably should have been expecting but he hadn't been. He walked over to the bed Tsuzuki was laying on with the slow pace of hesitation. He stood above Tsuzuki and reached out to brush the bangs out of his closed eyes.
He didn't feel anything.
He reached out again, this time clasping the older man's hand and focused as hard as he could, Searching desperately for any sign of his partner in the shell of a body before him, any sign that he was still there. The dream he just had only served to make him more desperate. It almost hurt being reminded of the night Tsuzuki had confessed. He squeezed Tsuzuki's hand harder, probably enough to cause him pain had he been conscious. 'Come back to me' he allowed himself to think. He let go of Tsuzuki's hand when he finally did find a presence of sorts. He didn't like it, it was so empty just some vague neutral presence that wasn't anything like the partner Hisoka had fallen in love with.
"Ah, Bon, you're up." Hisoka turned to face Watari and Tatsumi as the crossed the infirmary. Watari began looking over the beeping machines that were connected to his partner. "He still has enough of a soul for your idea to work. Bon, are you feeling better?"
No, he wasn't, but telling that to Watari-san seemed unproductive, so he just nodded. Tatsumi spoke to him next. "You passed out while training with kachou. With all the stress it's hardly surprising. He did say that he was pretty sure you had the hang of it…is that true?" He thought back to the training for a moment, but nodded his head confidently. He had it, he knew he did. "Then we should leave quickly." Hisoka nodded again and went to respond verbally but was beat to it by Watari.
"I want Bon to eat something first."
"I'm not hungry, Watari-san."
Watari looked at him sharply, surprising Hisoka a bit. "When is the last time you ate?" Hisoka didn't have an answer for that. Eating had never been an immediate of his. "I'm not letting you go on any sort field mission when you haven't eaten in several days. Hisoka wondered if it had really been that long. Sure he didn't remember eating but he didn't recall not eating either.
Tatsumi adjusted his glasses and nodded. "If it's really been that long, then you should eat something before we go." Hisoka didn't nod this time, he really wasn't hungry.
"I'll be fine, let's just leave."
"Absolutely not," Watari handed him three doughnuts he must have got from the break room. "At the least finish those before you leave." Hisoka considered arguing, it was in his nature to argue when someone questioned his assessment of his own being. He looked down at the doughnuts; at least they weren't sugared. He sighed and began to eat, only to find the doughnuts quickly disappear into his mouth. And that he was in fact very hungry. He hated those stupid doughnuts for making him realize it; maybe it had been days since he had last eaten. Watari nodded when he saw Hisoka finish the doughnuts, and dismissed them to begin the mission, a bit reluctantly yes, but Tsuzuki hardly had any soul left so Watari had little choice.
Well they had found the demon. And Hisoka wondered if they were the first really the first to see it or if this thing had been eating random mortals. Why? They couldn't have been the first to follow that horrible smell of carrion through the large woods behind the small high school and stumble onto the cave that it had been residing in. Both Hisoka and Tatsumi stood motionless at the entrance of the cave both disturbed and thoroughly disgusted. The horrid stench was almost enough to actually knock Hisoka over and make him puke, but that wasn't the worst of it. When Watari said this thing was in need of a body, he meant it literally. It looked as if someone had destroyed its skin and scattered the innards about as easily as one breaks an egg. Purple, red, and blue ooze was every where and layered about an inch thick on the floor. It looked like the walls had pulsing veins growing on them. Beating lumps of what could be anything from rocks to hearts to stomachs were carelessly scattered about the cave. Tatsumi got his wits about him first and leaned over, whispering quietly in Hisoka's ear. "Where do we have to be so you can find the soul?"
Hisoka was thankful that Tatsumi had at least given him something to think about besides the smell, even more thankful his body had long since digested the doughnuts; puking in front of Tatsumi would be traumatizing. "We need to figure out what…lump…is its brain. That should be the center of its consciousness and our best bet at being able to find Tsuzuki's soul." The two scanned the cave but none of the lumps stood out to Hisoka. They really only had one guess at this too, if the demon realized they were here Tsuzuki's soul could easily disappear. Hisoka saw Tatsumi fidget a bit out of the corner of his eye and then Tatsumi leaned over to whisper again.
"I believe I found it." He must have used his shadows. He pointed straight ahead into a darkness that made Hisoka nervous before he was in it. "It's practically straight ahead; but we are going to have to be careful." Hisoka nodded and reached out that way with his empathy, lightly so as not to alert the demon.
"I think we can step on the ooze, but we have to be careful of the veins and lumps." Hisoka said as he locked onto what he was pretty sure Tatsumi must be talking about; the place where he felt the most consciousness. Tatsumi nodded and the two began to enter the cave. The stench somehow managed to be worse, but even more than that was the feeling of the ooze. It clung to Hisoka's sneakers, and he could feel it seeping through. It was thick like sludge and with every step it seemed to get a little deeper. Hisoka shivered a bit feeling completely on edge; even with so much on the line he had walked towards such darkness before. Why was it suddenly affecting him so? He realized it when he clenched his fist and dodged one of the hardly visible lumps. He wasn't holding Tsuzuki's hand. He almost hated himself for realizing it, but in such situations he always ended up holding Tsuzuki's hand. He had never realized it before now, but it was true. Somehow, whenever it got like this his hand would end up in Tsuzuki's, and that was enough to relax him; never mind that an extremely powerful shadow master whom he trusted was next to him. He really was weak, and he hated it. And then something happened that defied the laws of the universe.
Tatsumi stumbled.
He easily caught himself, but it wasn't a moment later there was horrible gurgling noise. Tatsumi had tripped over a vein. And now something was being hurled at them at high speed. They both jumped out of the way, and Hisoka instinctively began running towards the place that had previously had his empathy locked onto. "Tatsumi-san! Try and restrain it!" He was pretty sure he heard Tatsumi affirm, but couldn't be sure since he was using his empathy to try to lock onto the source again so he wouldn't be running blindly in the dark. When he found it he realized he was closer then he thought and dove towards the core. His hand touched what seemed to be lump of the muck and his hand went through it until he reached some slimy pulsing solid tissue. Ignoring completely his reflex to puke on the spot, he dove into the consciousness. It was like having a thousand pounds of ice water hit him. It was wretched, dark and he could feel no warmth. He almost got lost in the thing's mind right there but he felt an odd tingle of familiarity at the corner of his mind. He focused on it and realized what it was.
It was Tsuzuki's soul. And it was coming closer, as if it were being pulled on. The demon was dragging it up to convert it; to finally give itself a new body. Hisoka latched onto it with his empathy and began to pull. The demon pulled back, stronger then Hisoka could have expected, almost causing him to lose his hold. But he was stubborn and refused to let go, and began pulling again; he needed them separate enough that none of the demons soul would be absorbed with Tsuzuki's. The demon pulled harder and now Hisoka could feel it physically; it felt like he was being torn in half. He almost wondered if it made him scream; but he didn't have time for such thoughts. He pulled again this time letting every ounce of need; every ounce of love for this soul strengthen the hold he had on it. The demon slipped, and Hisoka began chanting. And all at once he could feel it inside of him. It was dizzying and hurt in its own way. It was so strong that he couldn't decipher anything. He worked quickly to separate it from his own, to hold it down. When he some how managed this monumental task he said as loud as he could, which could have easily have been a whisper. "I got it." and prayed Tatsumi heard him and knew to kill this damn thing.
Evidently Tatsumi did here him because he that sensed he was moving, and was shortly able to see that it was Tatsumi guiding him out of the cave. He couldn't feel him, but was thankful for that, one more feeling entering him and would break the delicate balance that kept the souls from colliding. It was strong enough that he wanted to puke for the umpteenth time that day.
"Good job, Kurosaki-kun."
Somehow through his completely numbed senses Tatsumi was able to lead him back to Meifu, back to JuOhCho, and back to the shokan division's infirmary. Watari stood, being previously hunched over Tsuzuki, and rushed towards them, his face incredibly serious. Tatsumi nodded in acknowledgement, and Hisoka vaguely realized Tatsumi was no longer guiding him. He wasn't sure if he could walk on his own. "Kurosaki-kun has it." Watari's face didn't lose its serious features or show any real signs of relief.
"The demon was able to completely remove all of Tsuzuki's soul... probably just as you got there." Watari said gravely. Tatsumi, for the second time that day, almost fell. Hisoka just stood rooted to the spot. This was impossible right? They had to have made it in time! He can't have lost him, not when his body was eight feet away and he had the soul contained within him. It wasn't possible; it wasn't… suddenly he was jolted from his thoughts "Bon! Calm down! You have to focus! There might be another way, just stay focused!" Watari was shouting at him shaking his shoulders, and all at once he realized he practically had dropped the barrier separating his soul from Tsuzuki's. He forced back the balance and did his best to stay focused.
"Watari-san, do you know the other way to return Tsuzuki-san's soul to him?" Hisoka was grateful Tatsumi could talk; god knows he stood no chance of this.
"…I have a theory." Which Tatsumi and Hisoka instantly recognized as better than nothing, and looked at him expectantly "You see, Tsuzuki's body is still alive, and Bon there has the soul. What we need is a bridge of sorts to let the soul cross over into its proper place."
"A bridge?" once again Tatsumi asked the question on Hisoka's mind.
"Yes, a personal and precious gesture of sorts that will provide a connection from where the soul is now to Tsuzuki's body. Bon should be able to use the bridge to force Tsuzuki's soul back, even without anything drawing it back in."
"Watari-san, what exactly are you saying?"
"I'm saying Bon has to kiss Tsuzuki."
Kiss Tsuzuki?... ….. …………….What!
"Kiss him?" Tatsumi seemed surprised too.
"Yes kiss him." And next thing Hisoka knew he was standing above Tsuzuki, about to kiss him for the first time, in front of Tatsumi and Watari no less. Even if he couldn't feel it he knew he was blushing. Hisoka felt a little guilty. Of course he had wanted to try kissing Tsuzuki for a while, but not like this. Not when he was unconscious, but if this was the only way to return the soul…
And suddenly he was doing it. He was kissing Tsuzuki, and trying to guide the soul back to the body. Tsuzuki's lips were warm and soft; he couldn't help but close his eyes. He felt warm and safe and it was so nice that Hisoka wondered if he might be able to do this with a conscious Tsuzuki in private later. Another few seconds, when he could feel and distinguish Tsuzuki again and all the warmth he had in him, there was no question of whether this could be done later with a conscious Tsuzuki, because it was so good that there was no way Hisoka would be able to let things turn out any other way. Now he could feel love, that same feeling that he felt the night Tsuzuki had confessed. He felt the emotion that he had been craving, he felt…hands rubbing his back gently?
He pulled back and saw two alert, slightly confused amethyst eyes looking back at him. "Tsuzuki…?" Hisoka asked hopefully.
"I'm here, Hisoka." And for the second time that week Hisoka started crying. Tsuzuki had said his name. He knew who Hisoka was, he remembered. Tsuzuki was back, back here with Hisoka.
"Ah, Tsuzuki," Hisoka could feel Watari's grin "I think bon was having fun." Hisoka wondered if he should punch Watari, but it didn't seem worth it. Not when Tsuzuki had pulled him down and was gently hugging him against his chest. Not when he could feel all the love Tsuzuki had for him for the first time since he confessed.
"It's good to have you back Tsuzuki-san" Tatsumi said smiling gently.
Tsuzuki smiled back "I can't help but wonder where I was, but it sure is good to be back."
Watari smiled and grabbed Tatsumi's hand "We'll leave the explaining up to bon. We'll be right back; we just have to get some things." Watari said dragging Tatsumi out with him.
Once the door was closed Tatsumi turned to Watari "Was it really necessary to have them kiss?"
"Well it didn't hurt anything." Watari said with a shrug.
Tatsumi smiled "No, I suppose it didn't"
Watari then proceeded to glomp the smiling Tatsumi.
It was two days later and everything was completely back to normal. Hisoka usually liked normal, it was safe. But right now Hisoka was realizing that normal had some major drawbacks. Why? Because Hisoka still hadn't told Tsuzuki that he was in love with him. Hisoka shifted a bit on Tsuzuki's couch. He probably should be more grateful for this normal state. After all, it had only been completely normal for an hour and a half now. Tsuzuki had just been released earlier that day; pure exhaustion and a paranoid Watari keeping him in. His emotions had been a steady hum of gentle happiness since everything was explained to him.
Everything including why Hisoka had kissed him.
And Tsuzuki being Tsuzuki instantly dismissed any ideas that Hisoka might share similar romantic feelings. The thought left his mind along with that sweet and gentle hope he had been radiating. It had switched instantly to an 'I'm glad he at least considers me a friend' emotion with an 'I'm glad I got to kiss him at least once' glow in the back. And with Watari popping in every ten minutes (he couldn't really blame him, it served as an office for the man as well) and the fact Hisoka didn't really want to say such things in a hospital of all places, Hisoka had let the man go on with this disillusionment.
He had walked his partner home once he had been released and even offered to make dinner; he'd bought the stuff earlier anyway. He was in the kitchen chopping vegetables and Tsuzuki, unable to keep still after such a long stay in the hospital, was looking for something that probably didn't exist. He could feel the hum of happiness even though he was in the other room. It was relaxing.
And then it had stopped.
It was sudden that it hurt almost as much as having too many emotions in his head, only suddenly he felt nothing. Trembling a bit from the shock he left the kitchen, scared that something had happened even in the safety of Tsuzuki's apartment. He was relieved when he did see Tsuzuki standing there; he was at the door way to the bathroom…
The door way to the bathroom he had never cleaned up.
And then he was feeling again, or rather Tsuzuki was. Guilt, regret, surprise, shame, and fear: all hit Hisoka with the force of a title wave. He walked up slowly, Tsuzuki hadn't noticed him yet, and put his hand on his partners shoulder. The feelings faded again, Tsuzuki buried them deep within himself.
And that's how things went back to being exactly as they had been. Tsuzuki was hiding all of his feelings from everybody, and Hisoka still hadn't told him that he loved him. Now they had finished dinner and were watching TV. Theoretically anyway; Hisoka certainly wasn't watching, and though he hadn't looked he didn't think Tsuzuki was watching either. He doubted he was the only one who hated that things had gone back to normal. Hisoka clenched his fist tightly; he needed to do something about this. Now. It had been horrible when Tsuzuki had lost his memories knowing that Hisoka might never have the chance to tell him. He had to tell him and it had to be now, before normal became okay, before normal became safe again. Or neither of them would change; they would just be perpetually stuck in the quagmire they had been in before. Hisoka took a deep breath and used the remote to shut the TV off. He faced Tsuzuki with a serious expression on his face. Tsuzuki looked surprised and a little frightened, as Hisoka might start hiting him and yelling at him mercilessly. It wasn't making this easier, but he had made up his mind.
"Tsuzuki, I'm in love with you." The first thing he felt was shock. Not that he needed to feel it, it was obvious on Tsuzuki's face that a confession had been the last thing on his mind. But Hisoka had forced himself to look Tsuzuki in the eye because he knew he had too, after so long he absolutely had to. But then something surprising happened, Tsuzuki smiled. In it self that wasn't so surprising but Hisoka had never seen that smile before. He wondered if Tsuzuki had ever smiled so sweetly, so gently before in his life. It looked as if with Hisoka's short statement the weight of the world had been lifted off him.
"…Oh" He said looking at Hisoka as if he were the only other thing in existence, as if everything were perfect. "I love you too, completely." And Hisoka could feel it again that wonderful warmth that radiated from Tsuzuki.
And now Hisoka was smiling, because everything had changed, but it was good - wonderful even. Even though everything wasn't perfect and he knew he hadn't lifted the weight of the world from Tsuzuki's shoulders and even though Hisoka had not become everything he wanted to become. But it would be okay because they could move on now, they could grow and they could do it together.
He had learned a lot that week, about himself and about his partner. He learned they both had a long ways to go, but he also learned that was okay. He also learned that kissing a conscious Tsuzuki in private was a very good thing.
Very, very good.
Owari