Hearts Are Meant To: Chapter 18
By Knight Mara
Warning: Must alert! :)
Time seems to function erratically during periods of incarceration. And so it was that Genna had no idea how long she'd been in the tiny cell on Derra IV. For a while her thoughts and worries had kept her occupied as she stretched out on the small hard bunk against the wall. However, inevitable boredom eventually set in. That boredom, combined with the sheer emotional exhaustion the day had wrought, finally lulled her into a strange and uneasy sleep, during which she was peripherally aware of time passing, but nothing more.
It was from this state, sometime later, that she suddenly jerked upright into full awareness. Someone was watching her. Spinning to face her intruder, she came face to face with a very familiar pair of blue eyes. She gasped involuntarily.
"Luke?" she breathed as she tried to get her bearings. She slid away from him until her back was pressed firmly against the wall, not knowing why he was here or what he would say.
Luke sat on the edge of her bunk and lowered his gaze. "You know, you grind
your teeth in your sleep," he commented tonelessly.
Numbly, Genna replied, "Only when I'm tense."
Still not looking at her, he nodded his head.
For a while, neither said anything as Genna pondered Luke's effort to break the tension between them. It hadn't worked. Not knowing what else to do, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about all this," she whispered.
"All I want to know is," Luke's voice responded, "why didn't you tell me about any of this earlier?"
She opened her eyes to meet his questioning gaze and felt her throat go suddenly dry. Taking another deep breath to steady her nerves, she resolved to answer truthfully. "At first, I thought it wouldn't matter how I got here, so long as I was a part of the Rebellion. Secondly, I never thought any of this would end up out in the open. I mean, who was gong to find out that I had been sent by the Empire to do a job I had no intention of doing? And last," she paused, hoping he wouldn't take this the wrong way, "I was worried about how you'd handle being more personally hunted by the Empire than you realized."
In response to this, Luke looked down at his feet and grinned wryly. "Yeah, well I guess I have been rather shaken up by this. I'd really prefer not to know, to be totally honest." He was silent for a moment. "But since I do know," he continued, "I need you to tell me everything you can."
"I've already told Wedge everything I know," Genna explained. "I was simply given a name and orders to find out as much information about that person as I could. In truth, I didn't even realize the name belonged to the hero of Yavin until that evening in your room when we talked. It was only then that I realized that Vader must be seeking revenge."
"So that's why you joked that the Empire was wasting its resources looking for a pilot who made a lucky shot," Luke realized.
"I wanted to see if you were aware that you were wanted by the Empire," Genna explained.
"Well, I've been well aware of that for the last two years," said Luke, "but this is just a bit different. Don't you think?"
"That's why I didn't say anything else about it," she argued. "I didn't see the sense in getting your nerves rattled because Darth Vader was personally after your hide as opposed to your simply being on the same most wanted list along with Organa and the others."
"But he never even hinted why he was after me?"
Genna shook her head. "No, not at all," she answered, then studied his features for a moment. "Why, do you have suspicions of your own?"
Luke shrugged, a gesture that belied his true seriousness. "I was told that my father was betrayed and murdered by Vader, who had also been a Jedi knight at one time. My guess is that Vader may have sensed my presence in the Force, recognized my name, and resolved to finish the job of eliminating all Jedi and potential Jedi he had started twenty years ago. After all, why go through all the trouble to exterminate all the Jedi to have one pop up in the Rebel Alliance that's fighting you?"
Genna stared at him for a moment. "You really think that might be it?"
"Makes as much sense as any," he answered. His mood visibly darkened. "Of course, it's a waste of time. I'll never be a Jedi."
Genna grimaced, bitterness rising in her throat as her own "nevers" rose to the surface. The true price she would have to pay for revealing the truth to Wedge hit her, and she stared down at her lap and away from his eyes. "Well, right now you have more chance of becoming a Jedi than I have at flying for the Alliance."
"That's not true," she heard Luke say.
She looked back up at him, challenging him. "Tell me, what do the others think about this whole business?"
"Wedge and Narra think you're innocent," he answered, a bit of hesitancy in his voice.
"And General Fen?"
Luke was quiet for a moment before answering, "He suspects you might be trying to throw us off, but admits you're probably innocent."
"But I'm still grounded," she countered.
"Temporarily," admitted Luke.
"Wonderful," Genna spat, rising to her feet and pacing in the tiny cell, emotions held in check all day now bubbling to the surface. "So because of this, I can't do what I actually joined the Alliance to do! I can't fight against the Empire! I can't make them pay for what they did to my home! I can't do anything except sit here and try to defend myself against these blasted accusations when I should be blasting TIEs into oblivion!"
"Genna," Luke tried to soothe, getting up to face her.
"No, Luke," she shot back, "you don't understand! I'm a pilot! It's what I do! It's who I am! It's all I have left! And now it's gone! Don't you get it?"
His hands were suddenly on her shoulders, steadying her as she realized she was panting and sobbing and losing her fragile control of her emotions by the second. "It's only temporary," he said gently.
She pulled away and turned around, her back to him. "That's not true, and you know it."
Again his hands were on her shoulders, tentatively trying to calm her down. "You'll fly with the Renegades again, I promise," she heard him say.
His words shattered what little emotional control she had left, and she began to tremble beneath his gentle touch as tears poured down her face and her breath came in huge shuddering gasps. She suddenly felt as though her entire world had come crashing down on top of her, trapping her within the rubble that remained. It was over, even as the man behind her was trying to reassure her that it wasn't. The man she'd been sent to spy upon. The man who wasn't supposed to be comforting her.
"We'll clear your name," he was saying. "We'll find out who the real traitor is anyway. We have to. Don't worry."
Disbelieving, she turned to face him. "Luke," she sobbed, "how in the universe can you trust me? You, of all people, should hate me right now. You were right, I'm nothing but bad luck!"
Chuckling slightly, Luke took her face in his hands. "You may be bad luck," he said softly, "but I trust you."
"Why?"
Luke's mouth curved upward with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "I don't know. Will of the Force, maybe. But I know I can trust you, and I'll help you in any way that I can." He smiled a genuine smile then, his thumbs gently stroking the skin on her cheeks. And suddenly, awkwardly but gently, his lips were on hers.
Her eyes fluttered closed as a rush of sensations assaulted her in a fraction of a second. But before her shocked consciousness could register the fact that he was kissing her, the moment was over.
"I'll be back later," he whispered against her cheek.
Dazed, she opened her eyes in time to see him slip out of the door to her cell. Knees suddenly weak, she sank down upon the bunk. She could still feel the tingle of his trembling lips against hers, could still taste him there. It had been a clumsy kiss, to be sure. But it now left her pondering the strange new turn their journey had just taken.
By Knight Mara
Warning: Must alert! :)
Time seems to function erratically during periods of incarceration. And so it was that Genna had no idea how long she'd been in the tiny cell on Derra IV. For a while her thoughts and worries had kept her occupied as she stretched out on the small hard bunk against the wall. However, inevitable boredom eventually set in. That boredom, combined with the sheer emotional exhaustion the day had wrought, finally lulled her into a strange and uneasy sleep, during which she was peripherally aware of time passing, but nothing more.
It was from this state, sometime later, that she suddenly jerked upright into full awareness. Someone was watching her. Spinning to face her intruder, she came face to face with a very familiar pair of blue eyes. She gasped involuntarily.
"Luke?" she breathed as she tried to get her bearings. She slid away from him until her back was pressed firmly against the wall, not knowing why he was here or what he would say.
Luke sat on the edge of her bunk and lowered his gaze. "You know, you grind
your teeth in your sleep," he commented tonelessly.
Numbly, Genna replied, "Only when I'm tense."
Still not looking at her, he nodded his head.
For a while, neither said anything as Genna pondered Luke's effort to break the tension between them. It hadn't worked. Not knowing what else to do, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about all this," she whispered.
"All I want to know is," Luke's voice responded, "why didn't you tell me about any of this earlier?"
She opened her eyes to meet his questioning gaze and felt her throat go suddenly dry. Taking another deep breath to steady her nerves, she resolved to answer truthfully. "At first, I thought it wouldn't matter how I got here, so long as I was a part of the Rebellion. Secondly, I never thought any of this would end up out in the open. I mean, who was gong to find out that I had been sent by the Empire to do a job I had no intention of doing? And last," she paused, hoping he wouldn't take this the wrong way, "I was worried about how you'd handle being more personally hunted by the Empire than you realized."
In response to this, Luke looked down at his feet and grinned wryly. "Yeah, well I guess I have been rather shaken up by this. I'd really prefer not to know, to be totally honest." He was silent for a moment. "But since I do know," he continued, "I need you to tell me everything you can."
"I've already told Wedge everything I know," Genna explained. "I was simply given a name and orders to find out as much information about that person as I could. In truth, I didn't even realize the name belonged to the hero of Yavin until that evening in your room when we talked. It was only then that I realized that Vader must be seeking revenge."
"So that's why you joked that the Empire was wasting its resources looking for a pilot who made a lucky shot," Luke realized.
"I wanted to see if you were aware that you were wanted by the Empire," Genna explained.
"Well, I've been well aware of that for the last two years," said Luke, "but this is just a bit different. Don't you think?"
"That's why I didn't say anything else about it," she argued. "I didn't see the sense in getting your nerves rattled because Darth Vader was personally after your hide as opposed to your simply being on the same most wanted list along with Organa and the others."
"But he never even hinted why he was after me?"
Genna shook her head. "No, not at all," she answered, then studied his features for a moment. "Why, do you have suspicions of your own?"
Luke shrugged, a gesture that belied his true seriousness. "I was told that my father was betrayed and murdered by Vader, who had also been a Jedi knight at one time. My guess is that Vader may have sensed my presence in the Force, recognized my name, and resolved to finish the job of eliminating all Jedi and potential Jedi he had started twenty years ago. After all, why go through all the trouble to exterminate all the Jedi to have one pop up in the Rebel Alliance that's fighting you?"
Genna stared at him for a moment. "You really think that might be it?"
"Makes as much sense as any," he answered. His mood visibly darkened. "Of course, it's a waste of time. I'll never be a Jedi."
Genna grimaced, bitterness rising in her throat as her own "nevers" rose to the surface. The true price she would have to pay for revealing the truth to Wedge hit her, and she stared down at her lap and away from his eyes. "Well, right now you have more chance of becoming a Jedi than I have at flying for the Alliance."
"That's not true," she heard Luke say.
She looked back up at him, challenging him. "Tell me, what do the others think about this whole business?"
"Wedge and Narra think you're innocent," he answered, a bit of hesitancy in his voice.
"And General Fen?"
Luke was quiet for a moment before answering, "He suspects you might be trying to throw us off, but admits you're probably innocent."
"But I'm still grounded," she countered.
"Temporarily," admitted Luke.
"Wonderful," Genna spat, rising to her feet and pacing in the tiny cell, emotions held in check all day now bubbling to the surface. "So because of this, I can't do what I actually joined the Alliance to do! I can't fight against the Empire! I can't make them pay for what they did to my home! I can't do anything except sit here and try to defend myself against these blasted accusations when I should be blasting TIEs into oblivion!"
"Genna," Luke tried to soothe, getting up to face her.
"No, Luke," she shot back, "you don't understand! I'm a pilot! It's what I do! It's who I am! It's all I have left! And now it's gone! Don't you get it?"
His hands were suddenly on her shoulders, steadying her as she realized she was panting and sobbing and losing her fragile control of her emotions by the second. "It's only temporary," he said gently.
She pulled away and turned around, her back to him. "That's not true, and you know it."
Again his hands were on her shoulders, tentatively trying to calm her down. "You'll fly with the Renegades again, I promise," she heard him say.
His words shattered what little emotional control she had left, and she began to tremble beneath his gentle touch as tears poured down her face and her breath came in huge shuddering gasps. She suddenly felt as though her entire world had come crashing down on top of her, trapping her within the rubble that remained. It was over, even as the man behind her was trying to reassure her that it wasn't. The man she'd been sent to spy upon. The man who wasn't supposed to be comforting her.
"We'll clear your name," he was saying. "We'll find out who the real traitor is anyway. We have to. Don't worry."
Disbelieving, she turned to face him. "Luke," she sobbed, "how in the universe can you trust me? You, of all people, should hate me right now. You were right, I'm nothing but bad luck!"
Chuckling slightly, Luke took her face in his hands. "You may be bad luck," he said softly, "but I trust you."
"Why?"
Luke's mouth curved upward with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "I don't know. Will of the Force, maybe. But I know I can trust you, and I'll help you in any way that I can." He smiled a genuine smile then, his thumbs gently stroking the skin on her cheeks. And suddenly, awkwardly but gently, his lips were on hers.
Her eyes fluttered closed as a rush of sensations assaulted her in a fraction of a second. But before her shocked consciousness could register the fact that he was kissing her, the moment was over.
"I'll be back later," he whispered against her cheek.
Dazed, she opened her eyes in time to see him slip out of the door to her cell. Knees suddenly weak, she sank down upon the bunk. She could still feel the tingle of his trembling lips against hers, could still taste him there. It had been a clumsy kiss, to be sure. But it now left her pondering the strange new turn their journey had just taken.