Steph: Wooo! I'm baaaaAAAAK! –aherm-
Teff: After only7 months.
Steph: --' Eh heh heh….
Hiro: Are you SO incompetent that you can't even finish a Christmas special before the Christmas AFTER?
Momiji: It's a Christmas in July!
Julie: …..Caribou……
Kyo: Who's she? ……. Caribou?
Steph: Oh. –deep breath- KyoHaruYukiUoMomijiHiroTohruShigureAkito HatoriRitsuKaguraAyameKisaHana- -takes another breath- meet Julie.
Cast: Hi Julie.
Steph: Julie, meet –breath- KyoHaruYukiUoMomijiHiroTohruShigureAkito HatoriRitsuKaguraAyameKisaandHana.
Julie: Hey.
Teff: Yeah, yeah, warm fuzzies all around, LETS GET A MOVE ON!
Haru: Moo…..
Steph: Why must everything come with a pun?
Curtains rise on a bedroom scene. There is a large four-poster bed against one wall and a large window against the other. The drapes on the four-poster are drawn shut.
Teff: -hisses- Kyo! Open the curtains!
Kyo: No! I'm wearin' a freaken dress!
Teff: If you don't open those curtains, I'LL DO IT For YOU!
Kyo:…. –grudgingly opens curtains-
Kyo fangirls gasp at sight of Kyo in a dress-
Kyo: -blushes- It's a gown!
Random Kyo hater (gasp!): Isn't a gown a dress?
Kyo: Grrrrrr.
Bells Chime
Tohru: -walks onstage- Umm…. –aherm- Hello.
Kyo: Are… are the spirit who was foretold would come when the clock chimes?
Tohru: I am good sir.
Kyo: Who are you?
Tohru: I am the ghost of Christmas Past, here for your welfare. Please come! –walks toward window and waves hand. Nothing happens- Um…. –waves hand-
backstage Teff and Julie are tugging on rope connected top window-
Teff: C'mon Julie! Pull!
Julie: I'm pulling! –pauses- Hmm…. –lets go-
Teff: -is pulled forward by rope-
Back onstage.
wham is heard and window opens-
Tohru: -cheerfully- There we go!
Kyo: What was that slam? Nevermind, I don't think I want to know.
Tohru: Aherm. Anyway, come.
Kyo: Are you crazy? I can't fly!
Tohru: -takes Kyo's hand and holds it to her heart- With a touch of my hand and a touch of my heart, we shall go!
Thick, very noticeable ropes with hooks on the end fall from above.
Kyo: -is hit on heat with metal hook- OW!
Tohru: Weren't they supposed to be wires?
Steph: Budget cuts.
Backstage.
Yuki: What was out budget?
Teff: -is holding icepack over her eye- We managed to scrape a few thousand from Akito.
Shigure: -looks up from where Aya is hemming his costume- How'd you manage to do that?
Teff: Blackmail.
Akito: You are on the top of my list.
Teff: -walks towards stage- Hey guys! Guess what! Akito is a- -is hit in the head with plastic scythe- Hey!
Ayame: What happened to the money though?
Steph: Oh the normal stuff. Costumes, theater space, fangirl barriers, none of which were very cheap.
Hatori: I did the planning out though, and you should have had more than enough left for stage hands and props.
Teff: Ms. Genius over here got mugged.
Steph: Teff. That was you.
Teff: Oh yeah! I remember that now!
Back Onstage.
Tohru: -hooked up to thick, noticeable rope- Come! We fly!
Kyo: -also hooked up- Whatever.
Both "fly" as scenery moves behind them. They land in a schoolyard with children playing.
Kyo: Egad! –cringes at lame word- I grew up here! You hear me, I was a boy here! Why, there's Thomas! And Bill!
Tohru: They are merely shadows of what has been. They have no consciousness of us here.
Kyo: Hm.. –walks over to random boy- Jeffery never did pay me back that 5 bucks… -kicks boy-
Cardboard cutout boy: -falls over-
Teff: Kyo!
Kyo: Ah! –scrambles to put boy back up-
Tohru: You put a hole in it.
Kyo: -stands up straight, then scoots away from boy- Um. As you were saying?
Tohru: Um… -points- See there? That is the carriage that has come to takes these boys home for Christmas.
Yuki: -pulls little red wagon on stage and start piling in the cardboard cutouts-
Kyo: How compassionate.
Tohru: But there is one little boy who will not be going home for Christmas. –leads Kyo to window- See there?
Little boy with strange orange hair is sitting at desk, looking all lonely.
Kyo: Goodness! That's me!
Tohru: -smiles- Let us move onto another Christmas.
Little Kyo walks off, and another (teen) Kyo walks on with Kisa.
Kyo: Wasn't Kagura supposed to be my sister?
Teff: -offstage- She made us change. Good luck in the scene where you break up with her!
Kyo: Shit.
Kisa: I have come to take you home older brother! Home! –claps-
Kyo Clone: Home little sister?
Kisa: Yes yes!
Kyo Clone: You are quite a girl little Fan.
Kisa: -beams and hugs Kyo Clone-
Kyo: WHO IS THAT GUY!
Tohru: Um… A delicate creature, but such a large heart.
Kyo: Indeed. –sad-
Tohru: She died a woman. Yet she had a child. Your nephew.
Kyo: Yes.
Tohru: There is another Christmas
Kyo: Please! No more…
Tohru: Just a few more.
Scene changes to happy little office with men working.
Ayame: -sitting at desk- My dear boys! No more work tonight! It's Christmas Eve tonight! –flourish- Come boys! Up with those shutters!
Kyo Clone and other guys start clean up-
Kyo: Why it's old Fezzywig! Bless him, it's Fezzywig alive again!
Ayame: Hilli ho my good lads! Let's have this place cleaned up!
People start coming in and start dancing.
Tohru: A small matter, is not? To make these silly folk so full of gratitude and happiness.
Kyo: Small!
Tohru: He spent but a few pounds of your mortal money. Is that so much that he deserves the praise he gets?
Kyo: -angrily- It isn't that! It's that he could make us happy or unhappy! The happiness he gives is quite as great as if it cost a fortune!
Tohru: -blink blink- Is there something wrong?
Kyo: No.. no… I should like to say something to my clerk right now is all.
Tohru:-smile- Look inside. –points-
Kagura: Oh Ebeneezer! You're such a wonderful dancer!
Kyo Clone: -looks up- We're under the mistletoe.
Kagura: OH KYO! I mean EBENEEZER! –starts to make out with Kyo Clone-
Kyo: OH! IT BURNS! Hey, at least it isn't me.
Tohru: Um. Yes… uh.. There is one more Christmas.
Kyo: Oh. Yeah that would be a good idea.
Kyo Clone: -is turning blue-
Kyo: Poor guy.
Everyone walks/is dragged off and now Kyo Clone is sitting at desk counting coins.
Kagura: -walks in- Ebeneezer! What is this? –holds of scroll-
Kyo Clone: It's the tax on your mortage! Now go away!
Kagura: But- but I thought we were going to start our life together? Why this? Why now?
Kyo Clone: Because you aren't worth my time! Now go! –goes back to counting his money. Two-million-three-thousand-twenty-eight, Two-million-three-thousand-twenty-nine….
Kagura: -bursts into tears- I thought you loved me Ebeneezer Scrooge! But I guess I was wrong! –throws table and stalks out slamming door-
Kyo Clone: -is hit with table- Ow! –all money falls over from it's stacks- Crap! Now I have to start all over! –sigh- One… two….
Tohru: You see now?
Kyo: She was the only woman I ever loved…
Tohru: Yes, but she paid late on her mortage, and we can't have that now, can we?
Kyo: I think I've seen enough.
Tohru: As do I.
Bright light as Kyo arrives alone in his bedroom left to fall asleep in his four-poster.
End of scene
Butterfly: EEEK! GRAMMATICAL ERRORS! AHHH! EVERY CHAPTER!
Rachel: -bounds and gags Butterfly- Sorry 'bout that.
Steph: No prob.
Butterfly: GRAMMATICAL ERROR!
weirdoes leave-
Kyo: Who the hell are they?
Teff: -is watching Furuba Anime on Backstage TV- Steph's crazy friends. Don't ask.
Momiji: I'm in the next scene! Yay! YAYAYAYAYAYAYYY!
Steph: I apologize for all grammatical errors or discomfort due to craziness to all out readers! READ AND REVIEW!