A/N - "Thoughts"

Chapter 15 - Dealing With Loss

As Kate was walking out of an antique shop downtown, she happened to look across the street and saw Amy Tudgeman walking down the sidewalk. Quickly dodging traffic, she made her way across the street. "Amy!"

At hearing her name, the smaller woman glanced over her shoulder. Seeing the source, she smiled, stopped, and turned around. "Hi Kate," she said, "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to find an old Elizabethan clock for a client," Kate told her. "Have you talked to Liz lately?"

A small frown appeared on Amy's face, as she shook her head no. "Not really. She's been keeping a low profile since the accident."

A similar sad look appeared on Kate's face as she nodded in agreement, "Miranda says even though she's trying to keep on a brave front, she's a mess." Sighing softly, "I don't know what I do if something like that happened to Ethan. Miranda and Gordo have been trying their best to help her but there's only so much friends can do, even close friends like them."

"How's Rebecca?" Amy watched Kate look away for a moment and heard a soft sigh escape her lips.

Looking back, "As well as can be expected I guess," Kate answered. "She's obviously devastated. I think it'll take some time before their both feeling back to their old selves." Kate looked away again and stared off into space.

Amy knew there's was something else to the story. "Kate, what is it?"

"Its nothing," Kate mumbled at first, "Its just...I'm a little worried," she said as she slowly looked back at Amy.

"Worried?" Amy asked curiously. "About what?"

Taking a deep breath, "With how Rebecca is dealing with everything," Kate paused, briefly debating whether to continue, "I've just noticed Rebecca, lately, seems to be clinging to Jason and I'm worried about what it's doing to not just her but also to Amanda and Jason's relationship."

Cocking her head to one side, Amy wasn't sure what to answer at first. "You think Rebecca is trying to get in between them?" she asked in almost unbelievable tone.

Kate immediately shook her head, "No." But also sighed softly, "At least not intentionally. But with everything that's happened, I'm just worried that Rebecca and Jason are gonna do...something and Amanda is gonna end up getting hurt. Every time I've tried to talk to her about it, Amanda just keeps shutting me out and it makes me worry even that much more."

"Something like what Kate? Have you seen anything that'd make you think this?" Amy asked her. "I just can't see Jason hurting her, he's crazy about Amanda."

Rolling her eyes, "I know, I know. I'm prolly over exaggerating but its just this gut feeling, call it a motherly instinct, it tells me I'm right," Kate said softly as she ran a hand through her hair.

"I'm not saying you're wrong but she did just lose her father," Amy said trying to come up with a rational reason for Kate's feelings, "Anyone would be lost after that. Jason is almost just as close to Bec as he is to Amanda. It'd only be natural for her to turn to him and him to be there for her to try and comfort her. I think you're just reading too much into it," she said as she gently laid a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I bet in a little while, things will slowly return to normal and Jason and Amanda will be back to their late night activities." she laughed as Kate glared at her.

Kate grinned at her sarcastically. Shaking her head softly, "Your prolly right...I'm prolly just over-exaggerating things." As the conversation shifted to lighter subjects, Kate still couldn't shake the feeling that she was on to something. But she really hoped, that she was wrong.

The day of the funeral seemed to go by in a blur for Lizzie. Luckily her mother had been there, helping her every step of the way and was now downstairs, taking care of everything, letting her be able to grieve a little in private. She couldn't take much more of the prying questions and everyone else's pity. The final straw had been when someone asked her about what she was going to do about Todd's car. If it hadn't been for Gordo ushering her upstairs, she'd would've slugged the woman.

She knew that someday, she would probably be in this position; she just never thought it'd be now but years from now. She was in her mid-forties and had a teenage daughter, that she now had to raise by herself. "What am I going to do?"

Grabbing a pillow off the bed, she chucked it at the wall, "Bastard!" she swore loudly as she glared at Todd in a family picture that hung on the wall.

Lizzie heard a soft knock on her bedroom door. Letting out an annoyed sigh, she quickly started wiping her eyes and sat up on the bed, "Yes?" she called, trying hard to make her voice sound as normal as possible.

Lizzie watched the door slowly open and Miranda walk into the room, shutting the door behind her. "What's up?" Lizzie asked, thinking Miranda came up to tell her something.

Miranda looked over at the pillow and than at Liz for a moment with a smirk. Glancing at the pillow again, "Bad pillow," she said sarcastically and walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down in a nearby chair, "You should see the spread down there." Miranda joked, "I think Gordo and Jason are drooling over themselves with all that food."

Looking at her like she was nuts, "Miranda?" Lizzie asked softly.

Miranda looked over at her, "Come on Liz, I'm sure you're prolly sick and tired of answering questions. Besides, we've been best friends since we were little, do I even really need to ask you?" she asked her rhetorically. "Wanna go for a scream? Gordo said we could take his Mustang for a little while."

Lizzie took a deep breath and let it out softly, "Maybe later." Lizzie snarled softly as she sat down on the bed and looked over at Miranda, "Is it just me or do people really ask some stupid questions that are none of their fucking business."

Miranda just shrugged, "Some people just don't know what to say."

After a few moments of silence, "Do you think it'll get better?" Lizzie asked softly.

Getting out of the chair and sitting next to her on the bed, Miranda pulled her into a hug, "It'll get better, I promise."

Lizzie sighed and rested her head on Miranda's shoulder for a moment. "How's Becky?"

"She's alright," Miranda answered, "Crying a little, but Jase is with her."

"I hope I can take care of her alone?" Lizzie asked with an almost scared tone.

Miranda pulled back and looked at her, "Alone?" she asked. "Your not alone. No matter what happens, me and Gordo always, and I mean always, have your back. You also have yours and Todd's families. Liz, never believe you're alone in this."

Lizzie looked over at her and smiled softly and a little sadly. "Thanks Mir. It means a lot."

"No prob," she answered, "You're my sis, and we take care of each other," Miranda told her as she hugged her tightly again.

Downstairs, Amanda stood out on the back porch, staring back into the house. She watched Jason sitting on a couch in the living room with his arm around Rebecca. It was an innocent act, Rebecca had been crying and Jason had wrapped an arm around her, hugging her, trying to comfort her. She knew she was being stupid, silly, and a little possessive and that she should have nothing to worry about, but she couldn't help how she felt.

Rebecca was spending more and more time with Jason and it was coming at the expense of her time alone with him.

As she watched Jason hug her a little closely, Amanda felt another wave of jealousy. When she felt it, she snapped at herself, "My best friend lost her father and I'm getting jealous over Jason comforting her." Amanda sighed and scratched her head, "I'm a great friend," she thought sarcastically.

"I'm just a little cranky cause I haven't been able to spend anytime with Jase. They're just friends, best friends. She needs a shoulder to cry on right now. Jason is like a brother to her," she rationalized to herself. "Once things get back to normal, or as close as their gonna get, whatever this is, will go away."

It sounded right in her head, but as she continued to watch the two of them on the couch, Amanda had trouble truly believing her own words.