Forest for the Trees
Chapter Four
The Lonely One

Um...okay. You ever write something, think it rocks, go back to reread it before posting, realize it's a complete crap, and have to begin all over again? That is exactly what happened with this chapter.

Well, that and I took a detour for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Which...was good. So yay for that!

Consider this my apology for leaving everyone hanging, before I get killed or something. This was even harder to write than Chapter Three, especially because of how much HATRED I had for it originally. To the point where I said "God, why can't I just skip ahead and tell some stuff in flashback and things and stuff? Oh wait, I can because I'm the one writing this." Then I did my best Napolean Dynamite ("Gosh...idiot!") impersonation. --'' We're on the downward slope now.

Part of the problem is that I've gotten so caught up in the two sequels I have planned, that like...wow. It's hard to get your brain to go back to point C when it's really uber-excited about point Q. And I also got sidetracked by the Richie/Daisy I wrote. (Yes, you read that properly. Virgil/Daisy makes me nauseous, but Richie/Daisy makes me happy...not as happy as Virgil/Richie, but still. And no, I don't know, either.)

Everyone makes mistakes...some are just make more spectacular ones than others. :glares at the black guy with dreds and the glasses-wearing blond: To answer a question asked in the last set of reviews, "LY - MI" stands for "love ya', mean it." Frieda strikes me as the type to slap you when you're screwing up and then give you a hug immediately after. Unless she hasn't had her morning coffee...then she'll just slap you. And um, I'd like to hit the writers of the show, because seriously...what the hell happened to Daisy between seasons two and three? Because she went from being like a shorter Sharon to being all damsely and it thusly makes her really hard to write. I hope I got a good balance between "And don't ever hang up on me AGAIN!" Daisy and "I just want everything to go back to the way it was. Please?" Daisy.

Also, as previously stated, we're halfway now. We've heard a lot from Virgil's point of view on everything. So I think it's time we switch gears (uh...pun not intended) and hear from Richie a bit more. And for some reason, when I think of Backpack, I think of a combination of Trolley from Mr. Rogers, a puppy, HAL, and R2-D2. Just...for clarification of the Backpack scene. And um, again, don't ask.

-----
Early December at Caltech, also known as Finals Week

Richie Foley stared at his ceiling.

The sun slowly rose, making the room change colours from pale blue to red to yellow. He tried not to think about that fact that the smog from Los Angeles was what was causing the change in the lighting. He then tried to not think of anything at all. There were three hours and seventeen minutes before his alarm went off and he had to get up for a shower before his first exam.

Sleeping was probably the best idea at that particular moment. So he closed his eyes, hugging a pillow to his chest as he turned onto his side. After a few minutes, he dozed off into a restless sleep.

"This is such bullshit."

"No, it isn't. I love you…I'm in love with you. It's not bullshit."

"What are you talking about? This whole situation is bullshit! You decide now that you can't live without me? You couldn't have realized this when it mattered?"

He awoke with a start. He now had two hours and fifty seven minutes before it was time to get up. It hadn't even been worth the attempt. He sighed and got out of bed.

Photographic memory or not, a little review couldn't hurt.

-----

By the end of his two exams, Richie was relieved, worn out, and not at all sorry that he had no tests the following day. He made his way through the stressed and excited students as he headed to the campus coffee shop. It was unreal, somehow, that his first semester of college was all but finished. It was strange how much time had gone past…how almost just yesterday he was graduating from Dakota Union High.

Or he was getting ready for the Prom.

He swore under his breath as he stumbled over a step on his way through the entrance. He saw Daisy at their usual table, sitting in an oversized easy chair with her laptop in front of her.

"You know, your lips move when you read." He put his messenger bag on the floor and sat in the matching chair across from her. "It's really irritating."

She didn't even look up as she took a sip of whatever frou-frou coffee drink was in her mug. Not for the first time, he privately wondered when she turned into Frieda. "Did well on our tests, did we?"

"They were easy." He sat Indian style in his chair. "What are you doing, anyway? There are no tests again until Monday...even you can't be studying now."

"I was actually using the wireless connection here to check my mail, thanks." She still didn't look up. "Just typing up a reply."

"Oh? Well, tell Frieda I said hi."

She hesitated for a moment before she answered. "Um…it's not from Frieda. It's from Virgil."

"Oh." He folded his hands in his lap, an interested look on his face. "Um…so how is he?"

"He's fine. A bit stressed because of finals - not that we can't relate - but other than that, he says he can't complain."

Richie half-smiled. "Good. I mean…that's…I'm glad he's okay." He bit his lip and then, as casually as he could, asked "Has he…I mean…did he ask about me?"

She hesitated a second time. "No," she said softly. "No, he didn't."

There was a long silence.

"Right…I mean, I don't know why I…he never…" His voice trailed off. He turned away, staring off into the distance.

Daisy finally looked at him then, a somber expression on her face. She saw how pale he was and how the circles under his eyes seemed to have become permanent. And it made her take a deep breath before she said "You know, Richie, you could just email him yourself. Or call him."

"He wouldn't want…he doesn't want to talk to me."

Daisy pursed her lips. "Did he tell you that?"

"He doesn't need to." Richie's voice was resigned and not a little wistful. "Trust me. Virgil doesn't want to hear from me."

She thought about asking what exactly had happened between to cause this silence. Not being in the mood to be told yet again that it was none of her business, she elected instead to drink more coffee and change the subject. "You going to Clarissa's party tomorrow?"

"I don't know. I'm not really in the mood to go out."

"You're not in the mood to do much of anything these days." She smiled at him. "Come on, even if it's just for an hour. It'll do you some good to get out for a while."

He didn't want to say yes…the last time he had gone to a party…Stop that, he chided himself. At the same time, he knew Daisy wouldn't let him alone until he gave in. He looked up at her and, making an attempt to smile, said "Okay. I'll go."

She grinned. "Good. You can come get me around nine. We'll walk over together."

He nodded. "Nine o'clock."

-----

Later that evening, Richie tightened the last screw on Backpack's outer casing, having completed the necessary repairs and upgrades to its systems. He always did any work on the robot while his roommate was in class so he could avoid being asked any unnecessary questions. He patted it fondly when he was finished.

"All set, Backpack."

The robot beeped a cheery thank you as it settled on its dock to recharge. Richie sighed and cupped his chin in his hand, losing himself in his thoughts.

Another beeping sound quickly brought him back to reality. "What's wrong?"

Backpack blinked its light at him twice, and then pulled up a small hologram of Static flying on his disc, a huge grin on his face. Before he knew what he was doing, he had reached out his hand to caress the mini-Static.

His fingers went through the image with no resistance. It was just a phantom…just a small fragment of a memory.

"Turn it off," he mumbled.

This time, Backpack's beeping sounded sad. It shook its eye as if to say no, causing the hologram to waver a little.

"I said turn it off." His voice was weary. "I don't want to think...just don't do that again, okay?"

The hologram was shut down. And if he didn't know that it was impossible for there to be any emotion in the eye, he would have sworn Backpack was giving him a look.

"What?"

Backpack's beeps sounded resigned as it retracted its eye and went back to recharging.

Maybe A.I. wasn't such a good idea after all.

Richie took his glasses off and put his head down on his desk, his hair falling into his face. He mentally organized his schedule, reminding himself to save the laundry for when he got home and it was free.

And for a moment, he almost succeeded in not thinking about Virgil.

-----

Richie again found himself lying awake before sunrise. Because it was Saturday, he didn't have any exams. He didn't even need to get out of bed until four in the afternoon if he didn't want.

He closed his eyes, drifting again into an uneasy sleep.

"It's too late, Virgil. I don't…I'm not in love with you anymore. I've moved on."

"See but…I don't think that's right. You…don't kiss me like you've moved on…"

He jolted awake, almost falling out of bed. Why do I even try?

He could lay around, trying to sleep and failing miserably. Or he could go flying for a while, maybe head up to LA and try to clear his head.

Except…flying wouldn't clear his head at all. It would just…remind him, like it always did.

Might as well get up and take a shower.

-----

The party was in full swing by the time Richie and Daisy arrived. Clarissa, in spite of being only a freshman like themselves, was well-known for her kick-ass parties, and this one was proving to be no exception. The house that she shared with her friend, Sam, was packed full of people. It seemed like everyone at Caltech was there to blow off some steam from exams.

Richie stood against a wall in the kitchen area, a drink that Clarissa had insisted he try in his hands. He thought it was called a kamikaze, but he didn't really care enough to remember. Whatever it was, it was good and he had had several since arriving about two hours ago.

"Richie." He looked up from his cup at Daisy. "Are you having a good time?"

He shrugged as he finished his drink. "Be better with another one of these."

She stared at him. "How many of those have you had?"

"Two…wait…" He tried to remember but it didn't quite work for some reason. "Three…this was my third."

"Okay. The amount of time it took for you to answer that means you should be cut off."

He snorted. "What are you, my mom?"

"Uh, if I'm your mom, you and your dad need to have a conversation. Especially since you're older than me." She shook her head. "I just don't want you to get sick, especially since I don't recall you ever drinking quite so heavily before." She raised an eyebrow as she sipped her beer. He just shrugged as they made their way over to Clarissa for refills.

"I'm fine. I could juggle flaming chainsaws right now while skateboarding and be cool."

She just gave him a pointed look as they reached the dining room "bar" area. Clarissa grinned from behind the table as she handed out a tray of jell-o shots to some people in her chemistry class. She flipped her red hair out of her eyes as she said "R & D! What can I get for you guys?"

"I think we're good." Daisy said pointedly looking at the blond.

"Speak for yourself…my cup's empty. I'll have another karma-whosit." He saw Daisy glaring at him, but he didn't care.

"One super-strength kamikaze, coming right up!" She merrily pulled out some bottles and started mixing the drink. "Although I can't help but ask…aren't your people supposed to drink Cosmos?"

He rolled his eyes. "I've told you…just because I'm gay..."

"It doesn't make you a screaming Queen, I know. I'm just sayin' that you never know 'til you give it a chance. Here." She handed the cup to him.

"Thanks." He drank about a quarter of it in one sip.

"Whoa there, Rhinestone Cowboy. There's enough in that to put out Professor Price…" He finished the drink, causing Clarissa to stare at him and Daisy to scowl. "Or, you know, you'll be fine. Or whatever. Want another one?"

"Nah. I think I'll grab some of the…thingies. Jell-o stuffs. 'Cause…always room for Jell-o." He waved as he walked off in search of aforementioned Jell-o thingies. The girls looked at each other.

"Your boy doesn't look so hot." Clarissa finally said as she grabbed a beer for herself.

"Hey, I tried to stop him. You saw how successful I was."

"Not what I mean. He looks like a man that's trying to dull his pain…and it doesn't seem to be working." Clarissa stepped from behind her makeshift bar to walk around with Daisy. "I mean…I like Richie, he's great, don't get me wrong, and I didn't want to say anything, but he's just not here, you know?" She pointed to her head. "He's…not always like that, is he?"

Daisy hesitated. "He…had a falling out with someone that…well, Virgil was really important to him. And it changed him a bit." Not for the better, she thought sadly.

"Virgil, huh? He an ex-boyfriend?"

"No, they never dated."

"Oh. But Gentlemen Prefer Blonds over there wanted him and just never got the guts to do anything about it, right?"

Daisy blinked; Clarissa was good. "…You'd have to ask Richie about that. But the bottom line is…they won't talk to each other, and they won't tell me or anyone else what happened."

"That sucks." Clarissa sipped her beer. "I mean, I'm no expert but…Richie really acts like the walking wounded sometimes. He just gets this look…" She didn't finish her sentence, mostly because she knew that it wasn't necessary. Daisy knew exactly what she meant. "You guys are going home next week right? So he and Virgil can, like, work things out?"

Pulling her hair back into a ponytail, Daisy just considered for a moment. "I hope they do. They're just both so…lonely without each other."

Something over her shoulder caught Clarissa's eye and she snorted. "Don't look now, but I think someone's about to be a little less lonely, if you catch my drift."

"Huh?" Clarissa pointed to where she was looking, and Daisy turned to see Richie talking animatedly to a tall black boy on the balcony. They were flirting pretty heavily, the new boy saying something into Richie's ear. "What is he doing? That's…not right…"

It was at that moment that Richie pulled the boy to him and they started kissing. Clarissa snorted some of her drink up her nose as she laughed.

"Wow, your boy works fast. Maybe he'll be okay after all. Go Richie!"

But Daisy was frozen. No, this wasn't right.

This wasn't right at all.

-----

Richie jolted awake sometime later with possibly the worst headache he had ever had. He vaguely remembered Daisy saying something to him that he probably should have listened to, but that just made the throbbing worse. He stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, confused as to why the light was coming in from the wrong side. Then it finally registered that he wasn't in his room. He was lying in someone else's bed.

That was also when it registered that he wasn't alone in said bed.

He sat up and tried not to relive leaving the party and coming back here with…shit. He didn't even remember the guy's name. Well, I guess everyone has one of these nights, he thought unhappily. Lost weekends, or whatever. He sucked in a deep breath and looked over, his heart constricting at the sight.

He was very good looking, at least; tall with smooth, dark skin. Although, the hair was wrong, and he remembered that the eyes were too light. But other than that…

"Is that it? You're scared?"

"I'm not scared."

"--- I hurt you and you told yourself to move on. Loving me and being hurt by me scared you so badly---!"

"I'm not scared!"

"---That you felt you had to hide from it. You got a boyfriend, someone you like but he's safe because he won't hurt you like I did, because you don't love him. You ran away, told yourself it's not worth being hurt over. Except now you know that it is! That you were wrong and you can't deal with it, so you're scared and you're hiding and running away again!"

"I'm not scared!"

He felt like he wanted to be sick, and it had nothing to do with his hangover. This was so incredibly screwed up. He was so incredibly screwed up. And for the first time in seven months, he just let himself feel. He let himself feel all of the guilt and pain that he had been pushing to the side since everything fell apart.

I wish…I just wish I had a chance to explain. I want to tell you how sorry I am...I miss you... Please just let me explain…

His eyes stinging, he quietly got dressed. It was too stifling in there…he needed to go somewhere else, anywhere else, and he needed to get there yesterday.

----

By the time one o'clock had rolled around, Richie had walked all the way back to campus and around it about four times. He finally found himself staring at his door, not really wanting to go inside but not having any alternatives either. He sighed and unlocked the door.

After walking into his room, he sighed again and leaned against the wall. He took his glasses off with one hand and rubbed his eyes with the other.

"Rough night?"

"Jesus fucking Mary and Joseph---don't fucking do that!" He willed his heart to go back into his chest where it belonged as he looked at Daisy sitting backwards in his desk chair. "How'd you get in here?"

"Justin let me in on his way to work." She folded her hands into her lap. "We need to talk."

"Daisy, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, I'm still kinda hung over, and I haven't showered. It can wait."

"No, see that's where you're wrong. It's been waiting since May and if this goes on any longer, it'll be waiting until you walk out in front of a bus. Because that's pretty much how well you're dealing with this."

"Dealing with what?" He muttered as he started to climb up to his bed.

"Why did you and Virgil stop talking?"

He froze. Without even looking at her, he said "I've told you, it's…"

"None of my business, I know. Trust me; it's an old song and dance by now. But guess what…I'm making it my business."

"Well, don't."

"Look, what you don't seem to get is that you are my business. And since Virgil's also my friend, that makes him my business as well. So this whole stupid scenario falls under the realm of my business! Okay, you're doing really well in school but that is the only place you're doing well at all! " Daisy glared at him as she stood up. "You never joke around anymore…I can't even remember the last time I saw you smile. And I mean a real smile - not just those fake things you've been doing for the past few months or so. You barely talk, you aren't sleeping…and don't get me started on how stupid you were last night! It's like you're falling to pieces!"

Richie rolled his eyes. "God, are you going to tell me I'm not eating enough, too?"

"Now that you mention it, you have lost some weight. Which, trust me, you did not need to do. And I don't think you've gotten a haircut since we left Dakota." She shook her head angrily. "You haven't been yourself since Prom, and it's only getting worse as this goes on." She noticed that he stiffened at the word Prom. "You think I didn't notice how the guy you left with looked like Virgil?"

He closed his eyes. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Too damn bad, because we're gonna." She crossed her arms. "You have been totally not yourself since that night, and I'm pretty sure it's because of the fact that you and Virgil don't talk anymore. So, time to fess up. What happened?"

He shrugged, stepping back onto the floor. "We had a fight. It was bad. We stopped talking."

It bothered her that Richie having barely any inflection in his voice was starting to become normal. "Okay, smartass, I already know that. How about you try telling me the details this time?"

He started to retort when he noticed the deep concern under the irritation. She suddenly reminded him a lot of Sharon.

God, he missed Sharon.

Lacking the energy to protest, Richie just sighed and sat on the floor. "It all started the week before the Prom...Virgil and I were at his house watching a movie, and I told him about where I was going to go to school. He started saying stuff about how I couldn't come out here and he wouldn't give me a reason why. We started arguing and he got on me about Simon and how much he hated him. And then the next thing I knew, he was kissing me."

"He kissed you?" Her eyes were huge.

"Yeah, he did. It was…well, at first I was just confused. But then I just…I don't know. It felt…" He trailed off. "I don't think I have words for how it felt. But then I realized that I was making out with Virgil and there was Simon…well, it didn't seem real somehow. So I panicked and left."

"Uh-huh." She furrowed her brows. "Well, what happened after that?"

"After…well, we spent the whole next week not talking about it and acting like nothing had happened. At school, when we'd be out...uh, when we'd be hanging out…we didn't talk about it. And I managed to not think about it. The next thing I knew…it was Prom night…"

-----

Despite everything, everyone managed to have a great time at dinner and the dance. There was no stress, they had fun taking their pictures, Mrs. Goren had cried...it had just been an overall great evening. They danced practically the whole night, just generally having a great time. Towards the end of the Prom, Richie had taken a moment to go to the restroom and also to have a second to breathe. He turned the faucet off, reaching for a paper towel to dry his hands.

"So...are we going to talk about it? Or just pretend it never happened?"

"Bro', you just scared the shit out of me!" He glared at Virgil's reflection in the mirror. Tossing the towel into a nearby trashcan, he asked "Talk about what?"

He thought he saw a wounded expression pass over Virgil's features, replaced by resignation. Virgil bit his lower lip and shrugged. "Okay." As he turned to leave, he grabbed his hand.

"Wait." Their eyes met. "Why'd you do it? Why did you kiss me?"

Virgil shrugged. "Why'd you kiss me back?"

He opened his mouth, shutting it quickly. "I asked you first."

"I..." Virgil looked at his hand, still in his grip. He did the same and let go, ignoring how something about it felt like a loss. "I...I don't know. I have no explanation."

"If you say so," Richie shrugged.

"What...what about you?"

He tensed. "What...about me?"

Virgil moved closer and he didn't back away. The air was heavy and thick between them. "I don't exactly remember you fighting me every step. Why'd you kiss me back?"

"It was a mistake." He licked his lips nervously. "I was...you caught me off guard. I was confused and...it was just a mistake."

"Right." Their eyes were still locked on each other's. "So...if I...if it happened again...you saying you wouldn't do anything?"

"I...what...?" Of all the things in the world or Virgil to say, that had not been what he was expecting to hear.

"If I kissed you again, you wouldn't react." Virgil's hands found his again and he was pulled dangerously close.

"I..." All he could do was swallow nervously. He didn't want Virgil to kiss him. He was really hoping Virgil wouldn't kiss him.

Virgil kissed him.

Instead of frantic, this kiss was slow and warm and sweet like honey. It wasn't a fantasy. It was real, probably the most real thing to ever happen to him. He placed both of his hands on Virgil's face, taking control and slowly backing them into the wall. Virgil slid his hands up under his jacket, un-tucking the shirt to caress the skin of his back. They took their time tasting each other, this connection being the only thing that mattered to either of them.

It was the type of kiss that could change a person's plans. Or something even simpler, like their mind.

----

"Well, that explains where you guys were for those fifteen minutes," Daisy said dryly. "But that can't possibly be why everything is so messed up."

"It's not…it…" He chewed his bottom lip. "To understand the rest, I have to give you the back story. So anyway, I left the bathroom after a while and went back to Simon. And Virgil went back to Frieda, but he kept looking at me the whole night. This look, it was like…like he wanted to ask me to dance, or kiss me again or something but he wouldn't let himself. And I acted like I didn't see it, but then when we got back to Frieda's for the big bash he disappeared after like three minutes. So I made up some excuse and left, because he had been right, we did need to talk…"

-----

He had walked around for a while, trying to think of where Virgil could possibly be. He knew he wouldn't go home…coming back before it was time to go to church would raise too many questions with Sharon and his dad. That left the gas station.

His gambit had paid off because there was Virgil, laying on the couch and using his green hoodie as a pillow.

"You left early."

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the party with everyone else?" At some point, Virgil had removed his entire tuxedo save for the shirt, slacks, and socks.

"Well, I was looking for you. Just wondering why you ran out of there so fast."

Virgil sat up, a resolved look on his face. "Felt like being alone. Had stuff to think about, you know how it is."

He stared him for a moment. Typically when Virgil was confused, he'd either go blow off steam in the junkyard or they'd talk out his feelings together. The whole brooding thing was…well, more like Bruce than anyone else. But definitely not like Virgil.

"Anything you wanted to…" Virgil cut him off.

"I've been sitting here since I left Frieda's. There've been a lot of thoughts swimming around my head, Richie, for a long time now. A lot. I've been mixed up, because I don't feel right anymore. At least…I don't when you're gone. My feelings…there are so many of them and they're so…they're so big, I feel like I could explode. And I think…no wait I know…there's only one thing all of this could mean." Virgil sat up and locked eyes with him. "I love you."

He felt like he was being gripped by something from the inside out, and it shook him. "No, you don't."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I do. I mean, you know everything about me; you've always been there for me. And I've always been there for you and I know everything about you. I'm in love with you…I think maybe I've always been in love with you. Like I was born loving you and just had to wait until you came along."

He started to back away, as if he thought Virgil was going to attack him. "I don't need to hear this."

"You like pineapple on your pizza. You tell people your favourite movie is Kill Bill but it's really Spy Kids. You wear glasses because you hate sticking things in your eyes. You always get a Coke with no ice at Burger Fool. Your favorite color is yellow. You hate Coldplay. You're allergic to bleach and perfumed laundry detergents. You have an irrational fear of Mr. Rogers. You leave wet towels on the floor after you shower. You got your ear pierced right before freshman year. Your favorite song is "All Falls Down." You still avoid stepping on cracks because of that saying about breaking your mother's back. You…your eyes change their shade depending on what shirt you wear...but they're…they're always beautiful. You're a part of me, as much as my arm or torso or…or my heart. How could I not love you?"

His jaw clenched and he shook his head. "This is such bullshit."

"No, it isn't. I love you…I'm in love with you. It's not bullshit."

"What are you talking about? This whole situation is bullshit! You decide now that you can't live without me? You couldn't have realized this when it mattered?"

"When it mattered? What are you...?" Virgil trailed off. "Did…you used to… You had feelings for me? Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Why should I have? You'd have either stopped talking to me or just felt sorry for me."

"You can't know that. Maybe I would have realized things sooner. Maybe we'd be together instead of…you just can't know that."

He crossed his arms angrily. "No actually, I can. I mean, you made it obvious that there was no way you'd ever want me in a million years."

"How did I do that?" He shook his head. "Because of Daisy right? Because I'm 'straight' or whatever? Is that what you mean?"

"Well, that's part of it. Are you saying you're not?" He actually was curious to hear the answer, as that part of the equation hadn't even crossed his mind.

Virgil shrugged. "Maybe I'm not worried about your anatomy. Maybe I'm only worried about following my heart."

He snorted. "Whatever. The point is you've made it pretty damn clear you wouldn't have feelings for me, regardless of me being a guy. So why should I have waited for something that wasn't going to happen?"

"What are you talking about? You never even brought it up...I had no clue until just now! When did I ever…?" He saw the realization in Virgil's eyes. "The day you came out to me. I…I made that stupid joke…"

There was a long pause.

"It wasn't a joke to me," Richie said softly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I see that now." Virgil sighed, clearly wanting nothing more at that moment than the power to kick his own ass. "I'm sorry."

"For?"

"For that…I mean…I mean I broke your heart, right?" Virgil was definitely wishing to kick his own ass.

"Yeah." His voice was resigned. "Yeah, you did. But that's in the past…I was hurt, but I'm still here, V. I got over it."

Virgil's voice, meanwhile, was defeated sounding. "You mean…you got over me."

"Same difference." He shrugged. "The point being, it's too late, Virgil. I don't…I'm not in love with you anymore. I've moved on."

"See but…I don't think that's right. You…don't kiss me like you've moved on…"

He couldn't help but tense again. "I said I don't have feelings for you, I didn't say I'm made of stone. If a good looking guy starts making out with me, I'm gonna respond."

Virgil raised an eyebrow. "Thanks for the backwards compliment, but I really don't think that's it. I mean…I don't have a whole lot of experience to go from but I know when something's just physical and when it's not. And…it's not with us."

"What are you getting at?"

"I'm just making sure…you're positive you don't still have any feelings for me?"

This conversation was starting to go in circles and he was starting to get worn out. "I told you, no I don't."

"Because you're in love with Simon?"

He blinked. "Why do you keep doing that? He has nothing to do with this."

"I keep 'doing that' because he actually has a lot to do with this. Are you in love with Simon?"

His voice came out tired and somewhat sad. "Why are you asking me this?"

"It's a yes or no question, Rich. Are you in love with him?"

Quietly, he replied "I don't…I haven't really thought about it."

"So that's a no." Virgil crossed his arms.

"I said I have to give it thought, not 'no, I don't love him.' There's a difference."

"Actually, no there isn't. Because love…it's not something you think about, it's something you just do. You don't think about breathing. You don't think about digesting your food. And you don't think about being in love. It's something ingrained into your soul. Just…just like loving you has been ingrained into mine. That's probably why I didn't see it for so long…it's not something I thought about or controlled. And just like I didn't see it, you think you can turn it off. You think that because you told yourself that I wasn't…worth waiting for, that that makes it so. But it's not that easy." Virgil had closed some of the distance between them. "Are you scared that I'm going to hurt you again? Is that it? You're scared?"

"I'm not scared."

"I hurt you and you told yourself to move on. Loving me and being hurt by me scared you so badly---!"

"I'm not scared!"

"---That you felt you had to hide from it. You got a boyfriend, someone you like but at the same time you're safe because he won't hurt you like I did. Because you don't love him. You ran away, told yourself it's not worth being hurt over. Except now you know that it was! That you were wrong and you can't deal with it, so you're scared and you're hiding and running away again!"

"I'm not scared!" He yelled. "I know how I feel, which you don't seem to get! I'm sorry that you were too blind to see what was right in front of you until it was gone, but God damn it stop this! Stop bossing me around! Stop nagging me! Most of all, stop telling me how to fucking feel! I said I don't love you! God, just get over it already!"

There was silence in the room as both of them absorbed what he just said. He felt nothing but shame for his words and when he looked at Virgil, his heart broke from all of the anguish he saw on his face. At the pain that filled Virgil's eyes.

Pain that was there because of him.

He had just done irreparable damage to the one person who he needed more than anyone with a few words. There was a huge gap between them now, and he felt like he wanted to jump into it, because really how could he live with himself?

"Okay. I get it." Virgil's hands and voice were shaking. "It's not about fear, right? It's…I waited too long. So I have to live with it. I understand." He took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. "I hurt you, so now you hurt me. Eye for an eye, right?"

He stayed silent. Because…maybe there had been something to that.

Virgil laughed, but it came out choked and humorless. "Funny part is...I never thought you'd be so cold, Rich. Maybe…maybe I never knew you as well as I believed."

"Virgil…"

"You know…I don't think I have anything else to say to you. And I know I don't want to hear anything that you have to say to me. So how about I just save you the trouble of playing the coward, and I run away this time." Virgil grabbed his jacket and shoes as he headed towards the door.

"Wait…Virgil…please…" He knew he was begging, but he really didn't care. Some things were more important than pride, and one of them was walking away from him. Probably for good. At the door, Virgil stopped for a moment. He seemed like he was going to turn around, but at the last second he kept walking, slamming the door behind him.

His legs gave out on him and he sank to the floor. His chest hurt so much, it was hard to breathe, and he saw that now his hands were shaking. He was a monster…he was the worst kind of monster. And he could only ask himself one thing as he sat, alone now in more ways than one.

"What have I done?"

----

"So that's it. I fucked up, I didn't think things through...and do you want to know what the really bad part is? The thing that promises that he'll never be able to forgive me?" His voice was hoarse from talking, but the tone of it was an open wound.

Too busy trying to absorb everything she had been told, Daisy could only nod.

"He was right." His laugh was bitter, sad, and hysterical all at once. "About everything...he was completely right. I did take the easy way out by never telling him. I did think I could control who I loved. I was scared that he'd hurt me again. And I never really stopped loving him, but I just didn't want to see it...because it hurt too much to think about. I run away from my problems, I do, because it seems so much easier than actually taking a risk. And...well which is worse? Taking something for granted? Or just being a coward?" He took his glasses off, staring at them in his lap. "I've never liked being wrong, and I like it even less since...a couple years ago. Not only was I wrong about myself...but it caused me to hurt the one person I've always put ahead of anyone else. And...it's just...it's for the better that we don't talk. That we don't try to be friends. Because...all I'd do is make him remember how much damage I've done. All I'd do is...hurt him more."

There was a long pause.

"Or you could be surprised." Her voice was quiet, yet light-hearted. "He could forgive you, give you a second chance. And maybe over time..." She took his hands in hers, setting his glasses aside. "You need to talk to him."

"Didn't you hear me? I don't...he won't want that. Besides...he doesn't owe me anything. Not after that."

"He won't want your apology? Or are you just too afraid of him telling you off to give him one?"

He didn't answer.

"Richie, haven't you learned anything from this?" She sighed. "If you go to Virgil and try to make amends, he very well could slam a door in your face. And I gotta tell you that after what you said, I think he's earned that right. But he might be happy to see you...he might even forgive you. But you will never know until you try. If it works, then that's great. If it doesn't...well at least you know where things stand. At least you put it out there."

He finally looked at her, and in his eyes she saw sorrow and not a little fear. Underneath all of that, though, she saw the determination.

"You're right. It's...I need to grow up. I need to take responsibility for what I did. And...that means letting Virgil tell me to fuck off, if he wants." He didn't smile, but he looked far less hopeless.

"Good. Now what about the other part." She let go of his hands, folding her arms across her chest.

"What other part?" He looked younger without his glasses, she noticed. Younger and more vulnerable.

"The part where you all but admitted to me that you've never stopped being in love with him at all, and how you so obviously need him to be in your life."

"Oh. That." He ran his fingers through his hair, shrugging as he did so. "I just...well, yes. Yes, I am, and yes I do. But...that's not going to happen now. I blew it, remember?" That sad tone was back in his voice. "If he forgives me, maybe we can be friends again. But...that's all I think I can expect."

Daisy sat with a thoughtful look on her face, seemingly mulling something over. Maybe it was because she had been conferring with Frieda on the subject, but she didn't think things were that cut and dry. "Okay. Did you ever wonder why I gave up on Virgil?"

Richie raised an eyebrow. "Because you got sick of him being unreliable all the time and standing you up every two minutes?"

"No…well okay, yeah that was part of it." Hey, if she was being honest she had to be completely honest here. "But that wasn't the real reason. The real reason is that…well…I really didn't want to be the girl that couldn't catch a clue, you know?"

"Actually, I have no idea what you're talking about."

She narrowed her eyes. "Okay, then let me try again. I was completely unwilling to be that girl who was so caught up in herself that she kept getting in between the two people who actually belonged together."

"You're not in between Virgil and Frieda. That's ancient history." She stared at him for a moment. She then reached her right hand out and slapped him upside the head.

"Ow! What the shit, Daisy?"

She slapped him again.

"Would you stop hitting me?" He angrily rubbed his scalp.

"Not until you pull your head out." She glared at him. "You moron…I'm talking about Virgil and you."

He was silent for what seemed like a long time. "Daisy...I...I really don't think that's true anymore. I mean...if he still wanted to be with me, then he'd have tried to talk to me or asked about me or something by now. Instead, it's like...like I never existed." Richie exhaled slowly and somewhat shakily. "If he wanted me...he wouldn't have walked away."

"Unless he's as scared and hurt as you are. Unless he's been thinking the exact same thoughts about you all this time." She shook her head. "Richie, again, you never know until you try. I'm not saying the second you see him, propose to him or something. I'm saying...don't give up. You love him, right?"

He nodded.

"Then that means he's worth fighting for, right?"

He nodded again.

"Well, then, that settles it." She smiled at him, and he couldn't help but brighten up a little. Daisy had that affect on people. "When we get back to Dakota on Wednesday, you talk to him. And you don't take no for an answer, you hear me? If you have to hold him hostage, do it. But don't let him shake you until you've told him the truth about everything. And I mean everything. It won't be pretty if I find out you held back, got it?"

"Yeah. I got it." He reached out and they hugged for a long time. When they broke apart, he kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks, Dais. I just...I mean...thanks."

"You're welcome. Just...go take your shower now. Because...ew. You smell like a frat house." She waved her hand rapidly in front of her face, causing Richie to roll his eyes.

"Whatever." But he did get up to go take a shower. And to plan out his strategy for Wednesday, which didn't take very long because he had the perfect way of finding Virgil already.

Maybe A.I. had been a terrific idea after all.

-----

Static cursed as he took a corner, chasing an armored car. A group of gang members had managed to steal it while the driver was in a bank filling a change order, and he was hot on their tails. He had almost succeeded in catching them, when the back doors opened and some of the thugs began throwing bags of money into the street, causing other motorists to swerve.

Oh, fuck me. Static shook his head as he quickly moved to aid the cars in not crashing into each other. He managed to successfully stop several head-on collisions when he realized the truck was rapidly getting away. And that was when it happened.

A streak of white and green zoomed past his vision, and he heard the squeal of tires and a crash. Something had wrapped around the truck's tires, causing it to crash into a light pole.

What?

"Next time you guys want to rob a bank and get away with it, maybe you ought to...I dunno...try a less flashy means of transportation?"

The robbers started to run, but were wrapped in similar metal to what was around the wheels of the truck.

Wait...what? Am I...this can't be real...can it?

The figure turned to face him. His uniform was the same, including the green and white overcoat that he wore in the wintertime. The hair was longer - a lot longer - and it looked like he was thinner. But when he saw the tentative smile behind the green glass, Static knew he wasn't hallucinating.

"Yo, Static," Gear said. "It's been a while."

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The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters.
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