Chapter 6

"Well you're certainly looking better."

Lee looked at his latest visitor and offered her a tired smile. He had dozed off and on since the contentious visit by his father and Kara earlier in the day, but his sleep had been shallow and not very restful. His mind was too busy turning somersaults. "I must have really looked like crap before then," he said.

Laura Roslin smiled at him gently. "Yes, you did." She walked up to stand beside his bed. "How do you feel?"

"Weak," Lee replied. "Muscles are pretty stiff too, but overall I feel pretty good."

"That's wonderful to hear." She reached down and took his hand in one of hers, squeezing it firmly. "I knew you could pull through. It's so good just to see you awake again."

Lee felt a little self-conscious, lying there with the President of the Colonies holding his hand. He considered Laura Roslin a friend and it was comforting to have her companionship, but she was also the President. He wondered what she was thinking about him. There was no sign of the pity and skepticism on her face that he'd received from his father and Kara.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "Madame President... what did they tell you about me?"

Her smile faded slightly. "You mean, about what happened to you?"

"Yes."

She paused only slightly before explaining, "I was told that you removed the Red Needle from your Viper, and used it, and you are now having some difficulty remembering the event." Her tone was gentle and not at all judgmental.

"They're wrong," Lee told her.

Her face registered surprise. "You do remember?"

Lee shook his head. "No, but I didn't try to kill myself." He watched her face for a reaction, but she just stood beside him, listening intently. "I never took the Needle from my Viper," he told her. "And I never had a death wish. I was stressed out. I was tired. I don't dispute that. And maybe I would have liked to take a vacation... but there was no death wish." Lee watched her to see how she would respond.

After a few seconds of thoughtful reflection, Laura said quietly, "I believe you."

"You do?" Lee was surprised.

"Yes," she said simply.

"I'm glad to hear it," Lee said, still surprised by how easy this had been. "But, why do you believe me? No one else does."

She squeezed his hand and smiled at him. "I trust you, completely. I know that you would not try to deceive me. If you tell me that you didn't do this to yourself, then I believe you."

Lee felt a wave of relief wash over him. "Thank you," he said wearily.

Laura considered telling Lee about Tom Zarek's suspiciously early knowledge of the events, but she decided against it. There was no evidence to connect Zarek with anything but a rumor and plenty of people had heard those. Laura still had her own nagging suspicion about Zarek, but Lee was obviously still quite weak and until she had something more substantial to tell, there was little point in troubling him.

She leaned down toward him a little. "I also hope that if things were going badly for you, and you really were feeling overwhelmed... I hope you know that you could come to me and talk to me about it."

"I appreciate that Madame President, but..."

"No buts," she interrupted, sounding a bit like a stern schoolmaster.

"But," Lee continued anyway, "you already have so much to worry about without..."

She interrupted him again. "Captain Apollo, I consider you to be a true friend. I hope that you might think of me the same way."

"I do," Lee told her.

"Then there is nothing that you can't say to me. Good news or bad. Flattering or brutal truth. There is nothing that you should feel you need to withhold from me, certainly not for my sake."

"I just don't want to be a burden to you," he said.

Laura shook her head and smiled at him with gentle compassion. "I will never think of you that way. I owe you far too much."

Lee was quiet and thoughtful for a short while, and then he nodded. "Can I... can I expect you to be as frank with me?" he asked. She responded with a sheepish grin, but nodded. "You aren't just here to see me," he guessed. "You had your own appointment, didn't you?"

She hesitated only briefly before replying, "Yes."

"And?"

"It's not good," she told him. "The cancer may be spreading to my lungs."

Now it was Lee who gave her hand a compassionate squeeze. "Can they alter the treatments somehow to..."

"We are," she confirmed. "But it will make things... more difficult for me. The side effects will be more pronounced than with Chamala. I'm going to have to make a public statement pretty soon. Either that or try to convince everyone that I've gone punk."

Lee was amazed at this woman's quiet spirit and her strength. He smiled at her. "If there's any way that I can help..."

"You can."

"Name it."

"Get strong," she told him. "Get your memory back so that we know who did this to you. Then let me know so I can clobber him."

Lee laughed. "My hero."

"Frosty was there," Kara said pointing out Lt. Shawn Mullins' assigned rack. "And Stinger was asleep over there." Ensign Louis Karo's rack was pointed out next.

"And they were the only ones here?" Commander Adama asked for clarification, though both Kara and Sergeant Hadrian had previously recounted to him the events surrounding Lee's alleged suicide attempt.

"Yeah," Kara confirmed. "Aside from the pilots out flying the CAP, the rest of the squadron was all back in the rec room enjoying Lee's 'Welcome Back' party... without Lee."

"And Lee was in his rack?" This question came from Colonel Tigh. He stood shoulder to shoulder with Commander Adama, surveying the scene.

"Yes," Starbuck answered, though she didn't turn to look in the direction of where Lee had been laying that night.

"Did anything look disturbed or out of place?" Adama asked.

Starbuck shook her head. "No. Nothing." She took a deep breath. "The only thing that looked odd was Lee. He was in his rack, but he still had his pants and his boots on."

Tigh's face scrunched in puzzlement. "He was still wearing his boots?"

"Yes."

"But not his shirt?" Adama asked.

"No. He had his tanks on, but not his uniform shirt."

"So," Tigh speculated, "if he was attacked, it was while he was still getting undressed. Was his shirt lying around?"

Starbuck shook her head. "No."

"Was his locker open?" Adama asked.

"No, it wasn't."

The commander strode up to Lee's locker and pulled the door open. Everything appeared to be in order. Shirts and pants were all hanging in perfect regulation order. A shaving kit sat on the upper shelf. Shoes were placed in perfect alignment at the bottom. Everything looked perfectly inspection-ready.

"What are you looking for?" Tigh asked.

Adama shook his head. "I don't know. Anything that looks out of place."

"A perp would have had plenty of time to clean up and cover his tracks by now," the colonel observed.

"True," Adama agreed glumly. "What next Starbuck?"

Kara reluctantly turned to face Lee's rack. "Um... I walked up next to Lee and I uh... I noticed that his eyes were open, but when I talked to him he didn't respond. That's when I started to get worried that something was wrong." She had to take a second to clear her throat. "I stepped up on the lower rack to get a good look at him... and he was... he was dead."

Adama walked up to stand beside Lee's rack. It was difficult to stay focused and objective. It took a concerted effort of will to ask, "Was he lying on his back... on his side?"

"He was on his back," Kara said. "Laid out straight. Arms too, down at his sides.

"Not turned or skewed at all?"

Starbuck winced. The image of it was all too real in her mind. "No."

The next question was even more difficult for the commander to ask. "Where was the Needle? Was it in his hand?"

Starbuck shook her head. "No. The paramedic found it toward the back of the bunk."

"Toward the back... by his right side." It was painful but Adama wanted a clear picture of exactly what had happened with his son.

"What are you thinking Bill?" Tigh asked.

"Not sure," Adama answered. "The Needle puncture was on Lee's right arm."

"The same side where the Needle was found in his rack," Tigh commented.

"Yes, but to use it on his right arm..." Adama simulated the action of holding a needle in one hand and sticking it into his other arm. "Lee would have to have been holding the Needle in his left hand."

"Lee is right-handed," Kara observed.

"But," Tight pointed out, "if he's in his rack, his right side is more concealed from view. If he was trying to hide what he was doing, he would have just switched hands. There's not a lot of precision required here."

Adama wondered aloud, "But shouldn't the Needle have ended up on the left side... by the hand that was holding it?"

"Not if he was turned away toward the right to conceal what he was doing," Tigh replied.

Adama pointed out, "But Kara said he wasn't turned. He was laid out perfectly straight."

Tigh considered the situation, and then shook his head. "You're reaching Bill. The poison doesn't kill instantaneously. He did have a little bit of time, enough to jab his arm, drop the needle toward the back of the bunk and then... lay himself out to wait for another 15 seconds or so."

The colonel walked up to stand beside the commander. "Besides," Tigh said, "if Lee was attacked, we assume it must have been before he had a chance to take his boots off, while he was still in the center of the room. That would mean he was laid out in his rack after the poison took effect, and the Needle was tossed in with him. Now Lee isn't a big tall guy, but he's no lightweight. The kid's solid muscle." He faced the upper-level rack and reached up to the height of the mattress. "It would be no simple thing to hoist that much deadweight into a topside rack. How would you manage that without waking up the roommates?"

The commander and Starbuck both pondered the question without reply.

Colonel Tigh frowned and shook his head. "I'm sorry Bill. As much as I know you'd like to believe that Lee didn't do it to himself, I just can't logically see it any other way."

Adama frowned, looking at the height of the rack. After a few seconds, he nodded sadly. "Not to mention the fact that Lee would have fought back. Even if he'd been initially caught unaware, like you said he still had a little time. He'd have fought, but there was no sign of a struggle, and no one heard a thing."

Tigh placed a sympathetic hand on his friend's shoulder. "He may not remember it... he may not want to remember it... but he did it Bill. I think you need to accept that."

Adama took a very deep breath. "I think you're right. But the hard part will be getting Lee to accept it."

Kara just stood silently, staring past the two senior officers at Lee's empty rack.

After his tour of the crime scene, Adama headed back to sickbay to look in on Lee. He didn't know what he would say to Lee when he saw him, but he wanted to make certain that Lee knew he cared, even if he couldn't go along with Lee's state of denial. When he arrived in sickbay, Lee was asleep. He didn't want to wake Lee, but it made him nervous seeing his son unconscious again. Checking in with the nurses, he was assured that Lee was doing well. His life signs were still stable, and if he felt up to it in the morning they would try to start him on solid foods.

With his mind at ease over his son's physical state, William stood for a few minutes by Lee's bed pondering what to do about his son's mental state. Lee needed help. He needed professional help. William was certain that there would be at least a few qualified mental health professionals scattered amongst the civilians in the fleet. It was time to bring one on board Galactica.

The commander realized this was actually something he should have done before. The entire crew of Galactica had faced numerous traumas over the last few months, and there were likely more hardships yet to come. The crew needed a resident counselor on staff. Adama resolved to draft up a job requisition and have it circulated through the fleet to all persons with the appropriate professional background. That person would be permanently transferred to Galactica to minister to the entire crew, starting of course with Lee.

"I've been a very inattentive father to you over the years Son," William whispered to Lee. "Most of your life, I wasn't around at all. But I'm here now, and I am not going to lose you out of negligence." He lightly rested his hand on Lee's shoulder. "I'm going to help you, whether you like it or not."