Thank you EVERYONE for your wonderful reviews. Some of you I know from my other stories (Welcome back! Great to hear from you.) and some of you are new(Thanks for reading. Hope you'll stay with me.)

When I started to write this story it was from Tony's POV, but it bothered me that I didn't know what Michelle was thinking. So I decided that her POV needed to be heard as well. So here is the same time period as Chapter 1 only from Michelle's POV. I'm going to do that with each chapter. First I'll tell it from Tony's perspective, then from Michelle's. The one problem I am finding is that since I wrote Tony first, his chapter gets the majority of the dialogue. I don't want to rehash dialogue unless I absolutely have to do it to make a point.

Also, I'm sorry if I rehash some of what happened on the show. I try to do it only when necessary. (Jade, I know you thought I rehashed too much in chapter 1. If you tell me what needs to be edited out, I will consider it.)

Again, if you read, I hope you'll take a second to review. I'm particularly interested in what you think of the format.

PART I: THE RAIN

Chapter 2: Michelle

I sat and watched the rain fall on the windshield and roll down the windows of my SUV making the view even more blurred than it would have already been through my tear-filled eyes. Tony was gone. Nothing else mattered. I watched on the monitor as the car exploded. Not once, but twice. The first explosion was from the charges that Tony's abductor had set. The second explosion occurred when the fire hit the gas tank. I'll never forget Jack's voice.

"They're gone, Bill," he shouted. "She blew herself up. She took Tony with her."

I didn't believe it. Even though I watched it happen, I was sure that Tony would find a way to get out the car. The team on the site quickly confirmed that there were two bodies in the car, no survivors.

I think I must have collapsed. I could hear myself scream and I felt arms, possibly Bill's but I'm not sure, around me keeping me upright and slowly lowering me to the floor. The rest is a blur. Someone helped me to the office and set me on the upholstered bench there. Whoever it was, I don't even know for sure right now, asked me if they could get me anything. I must have indicated "no" but I really don't remember. They left me sitting there alone and numb. I may have just lost the love of my life, but there was still a missile to find and their talents were needed elsewhere.

So I sat alone with my thoughts. Why didn't I do what the woman had asked? Why didn't I just clear the northeast driveway and let her go? Why did I tell Bill? Maybe she would have killed Tony anyway, but at least he would have had a chance. By telling Bill and getting Jack involved I killed Tony as sure as if I had put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger myself. It was my fault.

Eventually Bill came in and sat down with me. He said some kind words, tried to tell me that I had done what Tony would have wanted me to do. Even in my state at that moment I knew it was all bullshit. I had so much to live for an hour ago and now I had nothing.

I tried to tell Bill that I wanted to help. I guess I was just doing what I had seen Audrey do earlier. I wanted to keep working so I didn't have to think. I didn't want to think about Tony, about how much I loved him, about how badly I had screwed up our relationship, about how I had left him when he needed me the most. I didn't want to think about what I was going to do with my life now that I had lost him. I didn't want to think about going to his funeral or having to face his parents. (Oh God! His parents were going to be devastated.) I wanted to at least be able to say that I helped find the missile. Tony would be so proud of me for being strong.

But, no, Bill ordered me to go home. So now here I sit. I can't possibly go home. How can I face the house that Tony and I bought together? There are pictures of the two of us everywhere. I never had the heart to move them when we were divorced. And frankly, I'm not fit to drive right now. So I'll sit here for a while and wonder what it might be like to be dead. There would be no missile to worry about and no terrorists making my life a living hell. And Tony would be there. We would be together.

I shivered. I don't know why. The car was hot and humid. I could have started it and put on the air conditioning, but I didn't have the energy or the desire. I looked back and forth across the dashboard and smiled ruefully. I bought this car, a Mercedes SUV, as a present to myself when I was named Assistant Director at Division. I decided that I deserved it and that it would make me happy, something I hadn't been in a very long time. It all seemed so stupid and materialistic now. The only "thing" that could ever make me happy was Tony. I knew it all along and as much as I wanted to believe otherwise, I always knew the truth.

My phone rang and broke into the random thoughts that were swirling in my brain. Let it ring, I thought. There is no one I really want to talk to. It rang again. I found it annoying, irritating. Why couldn't whoever it was let me grieve in peace? It rang a third time. The only way to stop it from ringing was to answer it.

"Hello," I said trying to keep my voice steady.

"Michelle, it's Bill."

I thought he had called to tell me to come back to work. He needs me, I thought. I'll go back inside and have a purpose. I won't have to sit here and think about Tony.

"Tony's alive," he said.

Alive? This was either a very cruel joke or a serious hallucination. I hadn't slept in 24 hours now, so I could easily be hallucinating.

I listened numbly as Bill said that Tony wasn't in the car and that he'd let Tony explain. The next thing I knew, I was listening to Tony's voice over the phone.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" was all I could say while I cried. He explained what happened and told me that he loved me. He was on his way back to CTU and soon we would be together again.

I sat stunned for a few moments trying to pull myself together. I was crying and laughing at the same time. I found some tissues in my bag and dried my face. Then I turned on the car's interior light and looked into the mirror. My face was blotchy and red from crying and I didn't want Tony to see me that way. I had make up with me and decided to go back into CTU and fix myself up in the ladies' locker room.

I gathered my bag and phone and umbrella and went back into the building. I was just walking inside when I heard a cheer go up. Sounds like that were rare at CTU so I knew that we must have found the missile and destroyed it. My suspicion was confirmed when I walked around the corner and ran into Chloe. She was grinning from ear to ear, something she didn't do very often.

"Chloe, what happened? Did you find the missile?" I asked her.

"It was headed straight for Los Angeles and we just brought it down!" she said happily as she gave me a hug. "Hey, I hear that Tony's okay. That's good news, Michelle. I'm happy for you." Coming from most people that would have been a normal statement, but coming from Chloe, it was totally unexpected.

I went into the locker room and washed my face and sort of fixed my make up with some samples I carried in my bag. I joined Bill in the bullpen where he was still offering congratulations to everyone and handing out "mop up" assignments to already exhausted personnel. He smiled and hugged me and kissed the top of my head.

"You did a great job today, Michelle."

"I made some mistakes," I admitted.

"No more than anyone else. You're human," he assured me. Bill looked down for a moment and then back up at me. "Tony's on his way back. He'll be here in a few minutes. I'm happy for you two. You belong together."

I hugged him again and thanked him. I knew how Bill felt about me and how hard it must have been for him to say that. He had tried so hard to start a relationship with me and as much as I liked him, I just couldn't do it. It wasn't Bill, it was me. I knew that I still loved Tony and no other man really interested me. I just wanted my Tony back.

Bill asked me to do a damage assessment in the area where the missile came down. I would need to coordinate local police, fire departments and hazmat units. I was getting my first damage reports when I saw Tony come back in to CTU. I interrupted the young woman briefing me and told her that I wanted to pick it up later. With that, she was gone and I was in Tony's arms. He never felt so warm or so strong before. I can't explain it. He was tired and sweaty and needed some medical attention and a shower, but he had never looked so good to me in all the time we had known each other.

As happy as I was to hold him and to kiss him, I felt unbelievably guilty about not trying harder to save him. He told me that I did what I had to do. He reminded me that it was over. I fell back in his arms and reveled in the warmth.

Soon I was back in the office dealing with the damage from the destroyed missile. Tony was showering and as soon as he finished debriefing, we would go home. I could barely contain myself. I was only half listening to the fire captain that I had on the phone. The other half of me was composing my resignation letter. I was debating whether to give six weeks notice or only four. I settled on four weeks. That was plenty of time after all the sacrifices that I made for this place.

I finished up on the phone and turned my full attention to the letter. I had only reviewed the first couple of sentences when my phone rang. It was Chloe.

"Michelle, have you heard the rumor that Jack is being turned over to the Chinese government?" she asked.

"Where did you hear that?"

"Edgar overheard Buchanan on the phone talking to Mike Novick from the president's office. Edgar can be a little screwy but he usually gets his facts straight."

"I don't know anything about it, Chloe. Let me talk to Bill."

I called Bill and the rumor was confirmed. "What is President Logan thinking?" I said angrily as if this was Bill's fault.

"Michelle, I'm as outraged as you but there isn't much we can do about it."

I tried to think of a way to help Jack. He was good friends with President Palmer. I wondered if Palmer could help. My thoughts were disturbed by another ringing phone. This time it was my cell phone that rang and disturbed me. The only person I could imagine would be calling me on my cell was my mother. She probably just got up and heard the news and thought she could get an inside scoop. I really didn't want to deal with my mother right now but if I didn't answer she would assume I was dead and when she finally caught up with me I would want to be dead. So I thought it best to answer it.

I looked at the caller ID readout and all it said was "Private Number." I guess this isn't Mom, I thought. "Hello," I said not knowing who to expect I would find on the other end.

"Michelle," Tony said quietly, "meet me in the storage room behind the locker room and don't tell anyone that you talked to me or where you're going."

"What's this about, Tony?" I asked.

"I'll tell you when you get here. This is urgent Michelle. Please, do this for me."

I hung up and started down the stairs from the office and back toward the locker rooms. I opened the storage room door and Tony was waiting for me.

"What's this about, Tony?" I asked again. "Why are you calling me on my cell from a private line?"

"Because I can't afford to have any calls to you traced. I used a scramble phone," he said anxiously. "Michelle, we need to help Jack escape." He was keeping his voice low.

"What?"

"You heard me. He was supposed to be turned over to the Chinese government, but he just got a warning that the Secret Service agent coming to take him into custody has orders to kill him. We have to get him out of here."

"How are we going to do that?"

"Jack already has a plan," he quickly explained the details of the plan to me. "I need you to get me a syringe of epinephrine and a phone with a scramble filter. Have Chloe get a new identity for Jack so he can get across the border."

I nodded and, like a child, did what I was told. I wanted to help Jack, but this was all so illegal. The escape plan could fall apart at any number of points and if it did, Jack would be caught and the rest of us would be charged as accessories. I had to put that thought out of my head. This had to work, or Jack would either end up dead or in a Chinese prison.

I pulled Chloe aside and told her what was going on. She agreed to help without hesitation. Chloe didn't trust or even like many people but she and Jack had a certain chemistry. Not in a sexual or romantic way, but there was an understanding, a bond between them that was difficult to explain.

A few minutes later I heard the lock down alarm go off and I knew the plan was in progress. Amazingly it went off without a hitch. For a few seconds after Tony gave Jack the epinephrine it looked as if it wasn't going to work. I thought he was really dead. I don't think I've ever been so grateful as when Jack started to cough. I could see the relief in Tony's face.

Now was the hard part. Chloe had to switch the information in the database so that the body we sent the coroner's office matched up with Jack's information. Tony played the part of Jack's distraught best friend refusing to let anyone near Jack's "body" and insisting on putting him into the body bag himself.

Chloe provided the body bag which Tony stuffed with linens from the storage room then wheeled the gurney back to medical. While he did that, Jack climbed into a laundry cart, I threw some linens on top of him and pushed him out through a rear entrance. All of this was made easier by the fact that Jack had disabled the security cameras in a way that would take at least a half hour or so to fix them.

When Tony got to medical, he made his way back to the morgue type refrigerator that sat in a remote corner. He emptied the linens from the body bag into a laundry cart and put Jack's toe tag on the body of an unidentified terrorist. He left the medical unit and made his way out to my car. We drove off with Jack under linens in the back seat. We dropped him off near the railroad yard with a scramble phone and a new identity.

I wondered as I said goodbye to him if we would ever see him again. There was a good chance that we wouldn't, but by the same token, Jack was resourceful and the possibility certainly remained that he would find a way to safely contact us in the future.

We returned to CTU without ever being missed. I was in the situation room with Tony and Bill as they delivered the news of Jack's "death" to Secretary Heller. He took the news badly. He obviously had developed a good relationship with Jack and considered him more that an employee. His concern quickly turned to his daughter. Such a typical parent reaction, I thought. Audrey was an adult but he was far more worried about her than about himself, the selfless act of a parent.

Bill asked me if Tony and I would go out to Valencia and break the news to Kim. I refused. There was no way I was going to watch that girl be devastated by this news. I had enough trouble watching Jim Heller. I suggested two guys who had worked for Jack for years. Kim knew them and they knew her. It would be more personal than having some agent that she didn't know go out and tell her.

I stayed in the office, away from the bullpen, waiting for Tony to finish debriefing. I really didn't want to talk to anyone. I had other work to do anyway. A day like today left a mountain of paperwork to be sorted through. The time alone also gave me a chance to finish my letter of resignation. I read the letter once and then read it again. Part of me was ready to resign and get away from this place that destroys lives on a daily basis. The other part of me was afraid to give up the only job I had ever known. It was a strange dichotomy of emotions.

The agents that went out to talk to Kim called in to say they were on their way back to CTU. I called Chase to see how Kim was doing and to offer my condolences. I hated doing this. Knowing that Jack was alive but pretending that he was dead to those who loved him was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I spoke with Chase. Kim was contacting other family members. He didn't have a lot of family. His parents were dead but he had one brother in addition to Teri's family that he and had maintained a low key relationship with since her death. This was hard on Chase, too. He looked up to Jack. His own father had died when he was young and it was clear to everyone who knew him that Jack had become a surrogate father over the years. Even before Kim and Chase got married, Chase and Jack had developed a father-son type relationship.

Chase confirmed what Jack had told Tony to expect from Kim. She didn't want to view his body. She had already spoken with the coroner's office. He would be cremated later today. I tried not to sound relieved when Chase told me that, but they couldn't possibly cremate that body fast enough to suit either Tony or me. Kim was hoping to have a memorial service next week. Jack's ashes would be scattered in a more private service for close friends and family in a few days. Chase told me that he hoped Tony and I would attend and I promised him that we would. My other line was ringing so I finished my conversation with Chase in order to take that call.

I was hoping it was Tony calling to say that he was finished debriefing, but it wasn't. It was still a left over issue from earlier in the day. Two more calls followed each a reminder that I was still at work and had to finish the task at hand before I could go home. And at the moment, home was all I could think of. I wanted to go home with Tony. I wanted to pretend that the last two years, including today, had never happened. I wanted that time to evaporate.

Two years ago we were talking about moving to Virginia so Tony could take a great promotion at CIA headquarters in Langley. We were talking about a family and as soon as we moved, we were going to start trying to get pregnant. I hoped Tony still wanted to start a family soon. I know we're just starting over and we should probably work on our relationship before we add a baby to the mix, but I'm almost 35 and Tony's almost 40 and I didn't want to wait much longer.

I was on the phone when Tony knocked on my office door. I waved for him to come in. I was trying to concentrate on the information the caller was providing, but it was almost impossible. All I could think about was how much I loved Tony and what it felt like when I thought I lost him. I also couldn't help but notice how incredibly handsome he was. Those chocolate brown eyes made me melt every time I found them focused on me. I started to develop that warm feeling in my stomach. Okay, it was a little lower than my stomach. Alright, alright, I'll admit it. It was much lower and I shifted in my chair trying to make it stop at least for now. I wanted it to come back later when we were alone. I knew I shouldn't be thinking that at work, but let's be realistic, it had been nearly a year since Tony and I made love and I missed his touch.

I stood up and walked over to the printer. I rifled through the pages until I found my resignation letter and handed it to Tony while I talked. It's funny, like I said before when I first started writing it, I was a little nervous about leaving. I wondered what I would do for a living. Right now it didn't matter. Right now all I wanted to do was leave CTU forever with Tony next to me.

I watched Tony read the letter and expected him to smile. I expected him to be happy, but instead he looked unsure and perplexed. He wanted to know if I was sure about this. How could I be anything but sure? Standing here I couldn't believe how much I loved him. I put my arms around his waist and told him that I loved him and was ready to go home with him, just the two of us, at home, alone. That made him smile and that smile made me melt. Remember the warm feeling I described before? It's back.

Next chapter: Part II: The Clouds Chapter 1: Tony